I lied to myself over and over again
I convinced myself that you loved me
But I was wrong
You showed me how wrong I truly was
You have officially broken me
I hope you're happy

My options are limited
And my time is way too long
It's quite unfortunate
I don't know what I'm doing wrong
I know the problem
I just don't know the solution
I've hit rock bottom
Now I welcome prosecution
They see me as a burden
I shouldn't be here
I open up the curtain
And let the sun sear
Now we're all on fire
I let in the heat
They fight against desire
I'm the the one to mistreat
I must make a decision
I'm just too naive
One thing they always mention
I must change or leave

I heard it
I know it
I turned around
It was you
Of course

I’m worried that there’s something more than just depression and ADHD
I think I’m bipolar
But whoa hold up did a doctor tell me this
No
Oh so it’s not true
I have to wait for some high and mighty doctor to tell me what’s going on in MY OWN BRAIN
That totally makes sense
So I’ll go and get a doctor to tell me what I already know
Then I’m bipolar
That makes sense

Too much work
I don’t wanna work that hard for peace
It’s too painful too
I want to feel something but not anything that extreme
Not the right way

I want to be alone
This is rare because I like people
They keep me sane
But right now
It's just the opposite
I'm tired

Too messy
I don't want my blood and guts all over the concrete
It's also too public but maybe I want it public
Maybe that's the way
Right in front of everyone
Maybe then they will understand
But jumping is not the way
Way too messy

Lets run away
For just a day
I don't know where
But we'll get there
Somewhere far
We can go by feet, train, or car
We'll stay and take it all in
While we watch the rest of our lives begin
Maybe I'll lean in and give you a kiss
Or maybe that's a chance I'll have to miss
But any time with you
Is time well spent, it's true
So let's go on an adventure just me and you

I can't be away from you this long
I want to hear your beautiful voice again
I long to see warming smile again
I dreamt about you last night for the 30th time in a row
I'm crazy about you and can't wait four more days to see you

You make me smile
You make me warm
I can’t let go
Even though you are the storm

I want to be held tight
All throughout the night
I want it to feel like
You’re all mine
I want you to tell me everything is fine
I want to listen to our favorite songs together
I want to travel down a dirt road with you forever
I want to laugh and cry with you
I want to live and die with you
I want to go places we’ve never been before
I want to party all night with you until we hit the floor
To me that is love
To me that’s enough

I won't go just yet
Thanks to a stranger I just met

Number two: To my friends
Y'all did a good job
A great job
Y'all kept me sane for a good bit
But now I'm left with nothing
I can't be left alone
I keep on making mistakes and y'all can't help me
Let go
I love y'all

If I decide to leave this world
I want to say a few things first
Number one: All I wanted was love
Love, the only thing I wanted
I fought so hard for it
But never got it
You think you're doing the right thing, you're not
I'm not okay
I'm broken and love can heal me but I don't have it
I'm exhausted
I need to sleep
But I have a few more things to say before I make my final decision

I'm crying
You see tears of weakness
I see tears of abandonment
I just want love
That's all I ask for
You can't even give me that
Can anyone give me that?

I'm mad at you
You smile
I love you
I want to yell at you
You smile
I forgot what I wanted to say
I need a break
You smile
I need you
I need to run away
You smile
I'm running to you now
Your smile always makes me forget about the reasons that I'm ****** at you

I'm sorry that I'm staring
I know it's kind of daring
It's hard to look away from something so beautiful
I'm giving in as usual
I feel so warm when I look at you
I know it's weird but it's true
You won't let me have your love
So at least let me have the view

Stop pushing me away
Stop saying you're okay
Stop trying to be brave
I know you're scared
It's okay cause I care
I'll always be there
And you don't believe me
Well soon you will see me
And soon you will be free
To love me and be loved
To trust me enough
And soon you'll dispose of
That voice in your head
Telling you that you should be dead
Telling you that nothings ahead
There's no need to worry
Although things can get blurry
I love you, I'm sorry

Let me hold you tonight
Let me tell you it'll be alright
Let me listen
Let me see
Let me in
I won't let you be
Let me keep you warm
Let me calm down the storm
Let me hold your hand
Let me understand
Let me in
I'll ask again and again
Just let me in

I'm weak
So why do you think that I can hold all this weight?
My legs are giving out
I'm falling to the ground
I'm surrounded by pain
I'm here but who's here for me
I give up
I need someone to save me
I'm tired of fighting
I'm tired of holding on to all this weight
I must let go

I'll give you my jacket when you're cold
I'll comfort you when you're down
I'll hold your hand at the mall and make all the other girls jealous
I'll send you a "Good morning beautiful" text every morning
I'll kiss you and hug you in front of my friends
I'll remind you everyday how much I love you
I'll call you at 12 in the morning on your birthday and tell you that I never want to lose you
I'll love you for who you are
I'll be your best friend and never break your heart
I'll always make you smile

Your smile kills me
Because I can't see it all the time
Your heart breaks mine
Because it doesn't beat for me
Your scent makes me suffer
Because I long for it when you're gone
Your laugh makes me cry
Because I don't get to hear it when I wake up in the morning
Your pain makes me scream in anger
Because you don't deserve it
Your love has left me incomplete
Because I need it but can't have it

I know how it feels
I understand
I've been in your shoes
So trust me when I tell you
It's not worth it
Your life is worth living
There are things that you are probably going through
That no one on this earth could ever understand
But things always get better
And I know that sounds cliche
But trust me I mean it
You're hurting I see it
I see the pain
I see the insecurity
I see the heartache
But I also see strength
I see love
I see beauty
I see potential
And there is someone on this earth
Who will help you see all the good things
But you have to be patient
Please be patient
Good things come to those who wait
I know it's hard
But love will find you and it will all be worth it
Endure the pain because you will be healed once love finds you
Please live.

We are bonded
Unbreakable
The stupid things we do
Just bring us closer together
We have super powers
We are indestructible
We are more than just friends
We have three strong qualities
Faith, Hope, and Love
We would crawl through each others windows just to be together
We find joy in the dumbest things
We stay up and watch the sunrise together
We are crazy
We are a beautiful mess
We are best friends for life
Best friends forever
They hate that I'm not confident
They see me as
Funny, crazy, smart, a good friend, a great friend, their best friend
And I see them the same
The time we spend apart from each other is torture
But when we see each other all the pain goes away
I could be filled with rage
But they would be able to calm me down instantly
Can we be split apart?
No

All those games of Duck Duck Goose
I'm the one you never choose
The geese before me couldn't catch you
You're scared to choose me because of what I'll do
I will run faster than ever
Just to be with you "forever"
Please choose me, give me a chance
Just let me hold your hand

You will be safe as long as I'm here with you
You don't really need me, it's true
But I'm here
I'm not what you expect in a knight
I'm not charming
I'm not super strong
I'm not even that brave
My armor is old and rusty
My sword is broken
I don't even have a horse
But for you, I will fight
For you, I would die
For you, there is nothing I wouldn't do

You say what you want
I'm right here
You don't see what you want
I'm right here
You think you know what you want
I'm right here
But you don't see me

I fight in this same battle every day
I'm losing this same battle every time I fight in it
Yet I'm still fighting
Why am I still fighting even though I know I will lose every time?

I’m thinking about you again.
I told myself I would stop.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
Your smile is stuck in my head.
I miss you.
I want to run to you and hug you for a very long time and tell you
I love you.
I want you to be here next to me.
I want you to tell me
everything is going to be okay.

You hurt her.
You are still hurting her.
I'll hurt you.
If you're not careful.