People see what they want to see, so in all reality- what does that have to do with me? If it was up to me, I'd be me. But instead, I play my part in society, so people don't riot me. Ended up hating myself; more than I hate me. So I change every thing that's real, so the fake will be just like me. Real recognize real; sounds simple to me. Just try explaining that to society. Whatever I lack in swag, they'll buy for me.

Too expensive for my taste; Hit Walmart and I'm Gucci, down to the socks. Rings and watch, filled with fake rocks; looking like I got crazy loot- see me, on the street. Somebody shoot - me; for my, jewelry - that's stupid. But don't blame me; I'm society.

I'm being trendy thing, in spite of me. Everything is really real, everything but me. Cover girl issues, making up for free. Hating myself, because society told me, what to think of me. Had all my freckles removed; woke up the next day. Society decided they were ****; why didn't anyone text me.

Mirror on mirror on the wall, amazing grace, respond to call. Who is the sickest of them all? As I watch the hands fall, face forward, right off the wall. Million pieces, scattered wall-to-wall; Society reflected on every piece, as I collected them all.

Believe what you may, its your call. Or wait until Society drops the ball, and blames us all.

i’m looking for someone.
not just anyone though.
this person i’m searching for,
who knows how to make me cry tears of joy
and helps me laugh through my sadness,
has soft lips
and strong arms that can hold me down
or lift me high.

i’m searching for someone
who doesn’t make grand gestures,
expecting rewards in return,
but small, seemingly insignificant things
that warm my heart.

i’m searching for that someone
who is my friends first
and my lover second,
and we’d talk for hours on end
of nothing and everything
and all in between,
huddled together,
exchanging warm kisses.

i’m looking for that someone
who holds my hand
and gives me strength
and scolds me when i need it,
who’s mischievous and patient
and looks at me
and sees me
and loves me as i am.

. . . i am looking…
but will i ever find?

You remind me of something I threw up last night. Or, was that the night before? Actually, now that I think about it, it was both. We use to have the type of love people fight for; it makes me hate you that much more. The flavors of life, don't even taste right anymore. Your, pictures on the floor. Don't text me anymore. You love yourself so much; you don't love me anymore. The writing is on the wall; broken pieces on the floor. One million ways to die; you've invited more. Listen to your speak- I rather Hulk smash my ******* head through a concrete floor. I don't even know who you are anymore. Nor, to I care to know. Love last forever; that ended a year ago. I know that you care; some one tell it to your ego. Lost love; dead people. Afterlife, I'll reply the sequel. I love you; Opposites attract, no wonder you are evil, I will never forgive you; Or at least forget you; No regrets, is the same as ungrateful. Made the bed, slept; then left; the message must of missed you. I'll miss you; less than I hate you. You turned into something I can't relate to. Mirrors on the wall screaming they hate you; the person looking back ain't you. So when I say, I hate you; end quote. I went from seeing the real you, to now I don't.

The look from her eyes, will make your knees buckle.
Old game; same struggle, different hustle.
With a croaked smile; she whispers, “I love you.”
Thighs, chasing highs, cause highs- heals;
lovely view; your daily double.
Tried beginners luck; who gives a ****
Heads and Tails; and things still aren't looking up.
That's the closest; some will get; the rest giving up.
So much for getting lucky.
Luckily, Misery hates company;
Unless they accompany.
Lots of money to cover fees.
Monkey see,
Monkey do,
You ain't telling me.
Good ******* the streets,
But in the sheets,
Nothing but trouble
Likes is rough.
Using your weak spots,
her strong points; tough
they will make you struggle.
Rubbing her strengths against you,
All skill, applying her iron will; until
you burst your bubble.
Her feelings; out of reach
Those things; will get you in trouble.
No love lost; tough lessons taught.
The experience they brought.
No family, no Friends; The endz;
In God we Trust; is all she can trust.
Saving her life away, still ain’t enough.
Men lie, women lie; that’s enough.
Life is rough; but she’s keeping up.
Won’t get the best of her, can’t say it enough.
Life’s a *****; and the devil filleth her cup.
Now Karma's coming after me; *what the ****.

I look forward to you looking forward to me, bringing out the best in me. The best comes to those who wait, so, repeat after me, and do exactly what you see, and it will *** to be; eventually. Cause you coming after me, is our destiny. Giving you a helping-hand like you are right next to me. The right-click; my tongue flick, your upper-lip, licked. Hitting your ****, until your lips split; you'll flip, when I flip the switch, feeling so devilish, touching you made me selfish, feeling you made it; worth it. My frame of mind is picture perfect; my plan is to hurt it, your level of pleasure my verdict. The sounds; your screams, your moans; I heard it.

the darkness covers my lungs and it feels like Im drowning
I gasp for air in hopes to breath in light.
I’m desperate.
I scream silently and I’m waiting for something... anything
The answers I seek are only met with my questions.
And now I’ve lost all sense of direction
and I don’t know if  I’m sinking or floating.
I know for certain I’m not swimming
For I can’t will myself to move.
I gasp needing to feel light help me gain back
what the bitter sweet dark has taken away.

I use to beg for morning light to take away this blackness
but oh no. It’s not that simple.
Now the light only brings out the sewing kit
I take the red thread and sew my smile on
right in the place I know it belongs.
I wish I had thicker string because this one breaks to easy.
I pull my hair back and slip my clothes on
and I walk the world as if I have nothing to hide.
Nothing that haunts me in some late hours of the night.

I pretend that I am as innocent as I look.
Oh sweet Sun you are just my puppeteer
until the night comes
and plays a different tune for me to dance too.
Why  do I give so much control of my bandaged and duct tape pieces of myself.

For the love of what ever is making this world keep spinning.
I’m tired of this helplessness.
I hate gulping down shots of light
like an addict needing my fix or a pick me up to get me through another day
But sadly the light is not my addiction.
The dark is
that swallows me up with it forged promises
and authentic pain that blankets me.

I am tired of fighting so tied of it.
If some didn’t grasp my hand
right before I let myself go.
I would have drowned in the misery of this
the water red and salty.
I beg for them not to let go as they pull me up
and nearly get pulled down with me.


Please cut my strings I beg
I don’t want to be the puppet of the pain anymore
Please.
You can only cut the bonds you’ve made sweetie

I Open my eyes as I slice though the first thick cords attached to me
and for the first time in a long time
I see the me I want to be
and I see the light hidden there.

Tangle me in your web of desire.
May your passion light my fire.
Sharing secrets; with my secret admire.
Your piece of mind,
My quagmire.
Below the surface,
My hidden Sapphire.
Shooting starts;
Chasing tails.
Such a satire.
It's all good,
Until it backfires.