thanks for letting me know you won't feel the same, it made me more inspired to write about you. how ironic.

"thinking about the future... it scares me,"

"why?"

"because you're venturing out towards the unknown..."

This was it.

The moment I've been waiting for ever since I've laid my eyes on you.

I wanted you to feel the same way as how I feel for you.

It was my daily wish as 11:11 comes by.

But my patience wore thin.

I stopped.

I stopped expecting that you'd feel the same way.

I stopped hoping you'd say the words I can't say.

I stopped believing that 11:11 could work out a way.

And so, here I am.

As if my whole body was electric shocked.

Never did I expect that you'd feel it too.

But you did.

You fulfilled my daily wish.

You made all my hopes come true.

But you did that when It was all over.

When it was all gone.

I was better off without you but then you came along and started to destroy the pages I've painted my artwork on.

You ruined my masterpiece.

You ruined every piece of me.

So this I tell you, be careful of what you wish for because...

Everything can change.

No, Everything has changed.

I'm broken inside
As I picture you with her
I smile on the outside
Knowing everything's a blur
In every motion I make
I feel every risk I take
All of this just for you
Even if I know you'll never like me too

These pieces I try to mend
With every story that I end
Without sorting the feelings I left
And with love, I lost the bet
I've fallen too deep
To pick myself up
From you heart's pit
And towards the top

Why did I ever hurt myself
Because of the pictures that you held
Within those are hidden stories
Stories you'd never dare to tell
It kills me to see
How happy you were
When you're with her
Than with me

But I guess that's how it goes
Not everything is meant for us to possess
Although you look so good from your head to your toes
While I am drowing in distress
I gave you all my best
Though you never see it coming
Because you never seek the rest
Of my feelings that I keep humming

As I reminisce the past,
I look at the memories we've created.
Happiness was a trend to me
But now it was buried deep down beneathe me.
How the golden days I treasure with you on my mind.
Now we are part of the unfinished memory.
Our paths cross but never meet.
Such melancholy is what my self is feeling,
Everytime I see the past undone.
Getting in touch with you was my only desire,
Though it was back then when you're the burning fire inside my heart.
Tears have flooded and put away the warmth of this feeling.
It was you who caused,
Such a stone is what I see in you.
Back then, cold was just the weather.
Until you gave meaning to what it was like.
It's such a shame that you've been crying out loud that no one wants to be with you,
So now I know you have never thought of me.
The desperation within kept eating you alive.
It was for your own good.
No, I don't mind.
For now this is my last goodbye
To the feelings I have left behind.
See you soon to the other side.
Hopefully we meet at the right time.

We were pages of an unfinished book.
Waiting for the end as the time flew by.
But suddenly, we're not like what we used to be.
These tears flow to an endless river of heartaches.
Life experiences its most dull moment as soon as you get to know who am I.
Taking advantage and using my weakness to break me into pieces.
It was that bad.
The effect you left was nothing compared to contagious heartbreaks.
You left me hanging and craving for the warmth of your soul.
I felt empty.
Yet words couldn't satisfy.
These feelings, I couldn't derive them into something simple.
Because it never was simple.
It was so obscure that not even I could understand.
What more if you knew?
You were the source of my happiness but it left me the moment you were gone.
You stole my heart without your knowledge.
Such a crime deserves a fair punishment.
All I wanted was for you to feel my pain just so we could be equal.
But we were forbidden to touch a shard.
We were forbidden to fix each other.
Or was I the only one who forbids you.
I didn't want to seem like I need help from you because you were the one who started this chaos.
It wasn't a beautiful chaos.
Rather, a traumatizing nightmare.
Somebody, please wake me up.
The last thing that I would want to happen is for this book to come to a halt so my suffering could do the same.

it all started with a little touch.
i fiddled with your fingers until it ended up intertwined.

i looked at you and you looked back,
just an inch of space between us.
you whispered to my ear and i listened.
suddenly, your lips were on mine.

the sudden action reminded me that i had no skill when it comes to responsiveness.
i felt embarrassed but brave to admit because of these feelings.

i told you i didn’t know how to respond back and you said you’d teach me tomorrow.

how i long for tomorrow to come,
but dreams don’t have tomorrow,
it’s all in our heads.

can we be alone?
i miss the sound of your voice
maybe i miss you

you are consistent
until one day you have changed
you were consistent