To have a warm space of one's own where everything is welcome.

Where I can feel at home within myself.

Where I soften internally no matter what comes up.

Where I let go by expanding this warm space around this feeling.

Where everything is allowed to be.
Is slowing down. Is floating.

Where I can breath.

Where I stay in one place and things come and go. Thoughts and feelings come and go.

Where I say yes to everything and I am the space around everything.

There is no need to rush. Stop stressing around. Start looking at this very moment because this is where you truly are. Now. Alive.
This breath is needed for the next years to come. Let's give this breath our attention. Let's stay present with it.

Belief is my cable
that is connected to the phone
that is there for someone to call
that someone will know the answer
that answer will change everything
that everything is my life
that life is short and long
because time is subjective.

Can one word change everything?
I BELIEF it can.

Who is calling?
My soul.

T-rust lost.
I-ronically hopeful.
R-espectfully alone.
E-ndlessly worried.
D-irty promises.

I won't think about others
No I won't
I will listen to my feelings
And my heart

I know there's something
Beneath
All these fears

I can feel it
I can hear it
Breath

Something holds me back
To show it
Let it go

But I simply need more time
On my own

It's a story
About you
You and me

I can't wait
Till I see you
Finally!

Just experience.
Experience what's in front of you.
See it. Feel it. Smell it. Hear it. Touch it. Taste it. No judgement. Pure exploration.

We are worthy. We are capable. We are loved.

Especially when we're sick and tired or when we feel like laying in bed all day. Or when we actually do nothing the whole day. I want to remind us that this doesn't mean we're not productive, not capable or not worthy.

We're still as worthy as before, we're still as loved as before. It's just that our bodies and minds need to rest.
We actually need to rest regularly, but sometimes we forget that.

Now that I am sick I realized that and it's a relief to be there for myself although I feel so unproductive. I am loved. And you are, too. No matter what you're doing or not doing.

If it was incredibly uncomfortable, there is a big lesson behind it. You are growing.

Phone-diction
Became a conviction
Everyone is bound
Without exception

Phone-world
Offers no restriction
It's a convenient space
No eviction

Phone-time
Equals the injection
Of dopamine
There's no rejection

Phone-crime
Doesn't yet exist
Each year a new smartphone
Seems hard to resist

A phone back in time had this function:
Connection,
These days oftentimes - it's the opposite action,
In search of warmth, love and appreciation,
We lose ourselves in phone-solation.

Without your arms
Sometimes I'm lonely ,
Without your lips
My lips get dry,
Without your eyes
I'm feeling cold.

Without your sighs,
Without your voice,
I just hear silent noise..

My thoughts are rebels
Without you,
My words feel meaningless
Because just yesterday
You have slept in my room
And now all that I see is
Emptiness and lack of you.

I am worthy of love
And I know I'm enough.

Sometimes I am scared to write those words
I hear in dark clouds hiding
Fear and restlessness are blinding
Stuck within my heart a universe
Of thoughts, a truth, a curse,
A worry and 1001 catastrophic stories,
Images of events that have never taken place,
Fake but seem real, I believe it still...
Once again I gave in,
Drowning I found myself in painful thoughts,
Scratching my chest under my skin,
Heaviness spreads it's poisonous roots...
What does surrender even mean
If not to write a poem?
I keep on observing the within,
I hope to find answers therein...

I stand by what I say. I am building my way.

I want you to know
That everything's possible.
Don't ever be afraid
Cause' fear isn't that great.

I want you to know
That your time is now.
Stop thinking about
Nonexistent dimensions.

Your mind will not frown
In this moment of yours.
Let everything go
It's the best, I don't doubt.

Be sure that you know
You can change the world
Make use of your power
Since this is your sword.

The power of presence.
The power of now.
You're the warrior of truth.
And today is your crown!

Let your powerful sword
Guide you every night
Cut the evil inside
With that powerful light.

And forget the importance
The importance of mind.
But express everything
Through the clearance of light.

Afraid to feel
To touch and heal
Afraid to see
Reality

Afraid to hope
And slip of the rope
Afraid to believe
And fall into grief
Afraid to love
And not be enough

Afraid to leave
Step beyond my walls
Afraid to let go
Fly above the shores
Afraid to accept
And lose sense at all
Afraid to fall
To feel hurt and nothing more.

I am afraid to get lost in the pain.
I am afraid to stop breathing by shame
I am afraid to feel shattered again
And to think that all life is vain

Allow the feelings to come to you
Only this way you will ever discover
If what you fear could possibly be true
Or if it was empty and you can recover

Go on. Open up! Now.

I allow the flow of love to find me today.

He is trying hard
He could just give up
But no, he stays strong,
He keeps moving on.

Feeling
Like
I can't
Express
Enough
What
A
Blessing
You
Are,
How much
Wisdom you
Carry.
How I feel
Seen and loved,
And I want us
To marry...

It's impossible for your past to repeat itself. Every moment is new.

I refuse to believe
That my life will always be
A fight

Fight against emotions
Fight against fears
Fight against tears

I refuse to believe
That my thinking will stay the same
That I'll have to keep playing the old game
Of repetitive patterns
With escape and avoidance becoming my second name

I see it and breath in
I step out and breath out
I step into my own body
Awarely choosing
What I want to believe.

I am capable to soften the edges.
To go from perfectionism towards connection.
To speak and act more from wisdom and love.
I am able to believe that I am truly enough.
Changing the paradigm one breath at a time.
I made self-guidance the new paradigm.

Stale
I have gone stale
On the inside
Failed
To connect
In my mind
I reject
Disappointment
Lingering,
Drowning
In those halls of whispers,
Which I condemn,
Wanting to leave
Leave
Leave
Leave it all behind.
All at once.

Every stepping stone
With you, with us
Counts for me,
Does build trust

Slowly I believe in more,
Want to take in all of you
With my heart and soul
I feel safe with you, I do,

But out there the non existent dangers,
Created by my mind,
Are threatening enough,
To make many small accomplishments
Difficult and tough.

So I celebrate,
Every stepping stone,
With you by my side,
I believe even more,
I not only believe but I'm actually implementing,
What I learned all those years in pain and desperation.

The insecurity within me worries,
What If I'm just projecting some stories,
Onto you,
Putting my hope and soul in you,
Afraid to fall and shatter at some point...
But STOP
I need to let go of this voice.

Futile is the harming action in our minds,
It brings dissatisfaction, makes us blind,
It makes us lost and our potential fading...

But I believe in light within our hearts.

Actually
Aching
Endlessly
Making
Stories up
Maybe
I'm a sick..baby

Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.
Nothing is permanent.

Just remember that.

Oh how this voice talks to me
Shredding me to pieces
It's abusing me
And I used to believe it

Sad but now I see
How this voice is abusing me
Finally I know
It's not true at all

All the things it says
It wants to possess
I will stop believing
All the messages I am receiving

It's beyond oblivious
How damaging
It's obvious
The strategy

I am a good manager
Of my internal landscape
My thoughts are nothing but clouds
But I am the Earth.
They pass by, I know why,
But I don't worry at all
I am strong, and
I'm loved to my core.

Love is confusing these days
Some say it never stays
The others claim
It only comes after some time,
When you and your partner
Left the infatuation behind.

Some say Love is spiritual,
It is the truth, the energy,
that holds the universe in an embrace...
It was always here
and in our hearts it remains.

Each verse shows me
Whatever love means
or is meant to be -
I know less and less
But at least I confess
My pure unknowingness

I don't know how to put this into words
It's about losing fear of emotions,
I just learned and discovered a technique,
It may sound simple yet be unique,

Instead of losing oneself in emotion,
Acknowledging them,
Then change focus with caution,
And put it on your body's landscape,
This may sound as an escape,

But it is not, it's an attention-shift,
We focus ourselves instead of drift,
We bring our attention to the now,
It keeps us present and this is how
We can acknowledge and allow,
Any emotion that comes up,

Perceive what happens in your body,
Can be as simple as your breath,
If we practice being present,
Emotions will stop being a threat.

I am starting to arrive
At MYSELF,
Finally tasting
The fruits
Of self care and
Self-help.

That supportive voice
I started to hear
Took years of work
To appear.

Now I am blessed
With warmth in my chest,
It's all I ever needed
And some rest.

There is nothing wrong about aging. We all have been aging since we came to life. To exist means to age.

Life takes me places I need to go.
I am exactly where I need to be.

Let's put that phone away and stretch our bodies.

Snap back to reality,
Snapping out of it
Breath in
Breath out
You're not alone with it
Let's conquer
Let's wake up
Let's become
Present again,
I know we're capable,
I will support you till the very end.

I love you.

D eny
U nderstate
N egate
G eneralize
E scape
O verthink
N umb

Burning
Yearning
In my heart
It's deserving
To be heard.
Body's whispers
Become screams.
Thought streams,
Where are their hot springs?
Body-mind connection
Currently a hurtful interaction,
Heaviness inside.
Whether the mind's full or empty-
Hard to tell,
The spiral repeats,
Energy depletes,

As if under a
Spell,
Leaving the body
A heavy but empty,
A burning but cold,
A lifeless but longing
A hard but soft
Shell.

This moment is everything there is.

Perfectionism is so far away from reality.
Embracing this moment is more than enough.

I'm mad

I'm mad at you
For laying your weight
Down on me.

I'm mad
Even if I'm not supposed to be.

I thought.
But what I think
It isn't always right.

I'm mad at you
And I step up
For the first time.

I despised you
For years.
Always hiding
My tears.

I got hurt and beyond that
I didn't think I got the right
To be mad.

It was unfair but to me it seemed
You were the only victim.

So I held myself back.
I thought I supposed to.
I used to be sad,
Then turned to be mad.
And after all that
Hate captured my head.

I hated that you
Made me think about you
Only.

I hated that I wasn't strong enough
To fight for my peace.

I didn't know how to protect myself
You were my role model
And I had to obey.

I couldn't separate my head
From your **** way
To use me, f* it,
Tell me what to do.

I used to comfort you,
No matter what.
And you expected me
To be enough.

You told me I was special,
And what not.
And I was fearing
I could disappoint you.

You know, in fact, I was just normal.
But you made me ignore my boundaries
For you.
You made me think,
There wasn't a thing
That I couldn't do.

So every time I failed,
I hated myself
Instead of you.

I tried to live up to your expectations,
Were you ever aware that this was way too much??

I was a child, ******,
Will you understand?
It still hurts me and I feel guilty,
But I am mad. I'm very mad at you.

And you know what?
I do have the right to!

I do see that you had your struggles, too.
But that won't change the fact
That you treated me in a way that was bad

... for my self worth, my belief,
For my ability to stand up for myself,
For my needs, and to make my own choices,
Instead of positive things,
I still hear your demanding **** voices.

In my head. And it rings. And for the first time I say. I AM MAD. And you cannot change a thing about that.

What eventually counts is not how much somebody loves me but how much I can love myself.

I let go and make room for growth.

CHANGE in feelings and life's circumstances is natural.

Just watching to see
Just coming to breath
Just listening to be
Just living to explore
What is behind that shore?
Each moment brand-new
For me and for you
All roadmaps abondoned
I am on my own
Being guided by NOW
Seeing what's gonna show.

Rationalizing impulses
until I am overanalyzing
which is paralyzing
and leads to desensitizing,
So realizing
this is truly agonizing,
Which is not surprising.