I am not the one who thinks. I am the one who perceives.

I want to enjoy us
As long as it lasts
To dive deeper into you
With every breath

I want us to remember
That we're not endless, love
Is in every moment here
Whenever we are present

Will you really embark
On this journey with me?
It may sometimes get dark
Too dark for us to see...

With a broken heart life seems heavy, I know
But your soul's still alive,
And sure, we can mend the wounded parts,
Together we have two strong hearts.

May we remember
To surrender for as long
As it lasts,
I speak to you of trust,
Through guilt, shame, pressure, fears and doubts,
I hope you hear this quiet voice
Sometimes my tears and admiration
Show you my very deep sensation...

I am on the path of self-reconnection
Of deepening my own relation,
I have come out of the stagnation
I love in waves and move in states of
Self-reconciliation.

Share more with me!
I love your soft kind voice,
I love your being,
It is full of joy!
Is love coincidence
Or is't a conscious choice?

I can imagine everything as new,
And brace for miracles with you.

Why am I sitting here on vacation in my room, drinking Fanta, having three blankets on me and just having some headaches, feeling sleepy with my hood on and my mind all over the place not knowing what to do-maybe sleep. Maybe go out, maybe this, maybe that. Not really in the moment. Or in my body. At all.

I allow you to be
I know you're inside of me
Hell, you are a part of me
And with me you will stay forever.

Now I have given you so many names,
I still know though what I mean.
I mean this certain body place
And everything around it.

You are my energy,
My love and hate,
All the emotions,
You are my deep wound,
My black hole,
My darkest out of the most darkest places in the universe.

Myself. You are. Myself.
My hidden and forbidden parts.
My shame, but also help and health,
My flow, my movement, my relief,
My strength, my feelings, my belief,
My life, my truth, my happiness,
It's all in you, I knew, I knew.

I really want to allow you
To come and show yourself
You have been hidden there
For many years
You hid your fears and even tears,
You lied, you cried on the inside,
You couldn't step out and be free,
You didn't know that you were ME,
That access to the freedom I denied to thee,
And now I finally am trying to set you free.

All things you have been hiding cause of shame,
Because of blame,
From people who meant much to thee.  

Oh trust me, please.
I mean, I understand,
How can I talk to you with ease,
After all these years ...
Just like that.

But I have only now for real discovered,
Who was hiding from whom all this time.
And the real me that I have buried and covered,
Now is afraid to trust the I.

I totally get that. I hurt myself.
By listening to everybody else.
But I was just a kid, you know, we were.
We totally just started to take baby steps...
When **** began to crush our brain,
It's almost a wonder, we found ourselves again.
So after all these years, forgive me, please?
I have never cared more about you, than today.

From all this pain
I learned, I needed you,
You are my core,
My light, my life, my love.
Never again will I ignore you,
And I know just this poem
Will not be enough.

I am fighting for you tough
From now on.
I have started a long time ago,
But only now I understand,
That to reunite with you, I need to stop to pretend.

I really meant every word I said.
I will always have you, by my side.
What a fool would I be
To just lie to me and thee
Again and again?

No. It stops. And I will be trying hard.
To listen to you, my one and only heart
My deepest honest part,
The one that counts the most,
You are my personal universe.

You are my inner child.
My energy and connection,
Don't worry, I will drop my strife for the perfection.
I only want to finally be free,
And take you back to be
Where you belong.

With me. My dearest self,
You do belong with me.
And I am trying to give you hope
And welcome you,
Where now we both will be
United.
Just how we were, when we were three years old.
Before the world divided us,
Before we lost each bit of trust.
Now finally connected
And I never want to let you go ever again.

Should I ever lose your voice again,
Promise me to make some noise, ok?
Now that I know how your voice would sound,
I will quickly look for you
Until you're found.

I want us to be wrapped in the blanket of love together.
I want to learn a new way with you.
To trust. And love.

Learning sth new with you
Every day,
Facing situations
That would freak me out
You're guiding
Me with my fears
Through the crowd
Showing me
how easy
Life can be.

With you I become ready
To face the worst
To go through and beyond
The universe
To find magnificence
In all of it
No matter how
One would label it.

Treating ourselves with respect is essential for leading a happy and healthy life.

This wisdom should be on the streets
My wisdom should be on the streets
My wisdom should be on the walls
These words deserve to be seen
This knowledge should not be ignored.
These skies aren't just falling
They're spreading wide apart
To let us all inside
Into the universe's heart
The ocean is the place
To be and sea is paradise
Whenever hearts are aching
The water calms the mind

Where the sun sets brighten the landscape
New ideas take a different shape
And as the moon smiles down on us
We're simply here on our soul vacation
The wind is howling-helping us
To sail across the ocean-atmosphere
Where far is close
And the horizon's near
We eat and drink
We dream, we film
We sing in silence to ourselves
We're one with beautiful sun rays

As I am letting go,
Floating, finding words,
Coming from the heart
Of this country's evening ride
We're simply carrying on
In waves of love
It has so many faces
As well as phases
Always enough
For all of us
If we look closer
And we trust.

I wanna be somebody with a heart
Who suffered enough
From self-commanding
Who now is simply happy
And who stopped pretending.

I wanna be self-understanding
I want to finally see
That it's the only way,
To let go of unhealthy ideas
That sit deep in my brain.

You're not enough, they say
But often they just laugh
And you feel shame
STOP that. It's over now.
You only will decide.
Can you embrace yourself?

Whatever others said to you,
They, too, follow a programm,
It's leading their brains
To put themselves and everybody else
In chains - of shame, hate and what not.

They judge and how about you?
Well you can decide if they're able to crush you.
If you're listening to the judgements of others
It means that a part of you believes in what they say.
This part is insecure, It's coming from tough times,
From sad times of disappointment and grief.

Take care of these vulnerable parts of yourself,
Just know - Nobody else can really understand -
What you have been through.

But here you stand and I see you.
It's never too late to turn to yourself,
And to apologize for not listening and not being there.

It's never too late to stop hating yourself and start to embrace your own life path.
Nobody else gets to experience the same! It's your and only way and you are still alive!!!

You still can question, see, take your own hand and breath, tell yourself that you understand your grief!

No matter how wounded others made you be, there also will be those who
will be worth - to trust and open up to.
You will see!

Only those who can accept themselves how they are, will also be able to accept, see and love you for who you are.

But your way to happiness always goes through your own heart and it's there and it is beating!
Even if you are wondering why still you are breathing.
Well it's cause you still have a chance to find yourself!
And to experience the beauty of life,
It means that you are able to cope with fears, with anger, with strife, with all the unspeakable pain, with every imaginable unfairness of this world!

The way to inner peace goes through your heart, where you will find, again and again that you are amazing just how you are.

Could have been
But it wasn't, oh,
Could have seen
But I didn't care.

Mind, stop trying to solve this old problem in endless cycles,
This door is closed, don't you see?
All these doors are closed,
But you still hope that by knocking hard or long enough,
One of them might open.

This dark and empty corridor has been where you
Spend your time day in and out, but why?
Aren't you tired of all the disappointment and frustration?
This self-abandonment keeps you looking for answers,
YOU WISH TO BE FOUND! I KNOW!

Desperately and to be honest, stubbornly, you keep your nose pointed into this one direction.
As though this corridor never had an entrance and all the ways out were through these doors,
BUT THEY DON'T WANT US!

Mind, this exhaustion brought us nowhere,
Wallowing in suffering consciously and subconsciously,
LET IT GO!

The problem is the truth you keep believing,
Your TRUTH keeps us trapped in here,
But I am tired.
Summer is coming,
This search has not helped us all these years.
Please, PLEASE, STOP!

Mind, this feeling of dullness
And this stinging emptiness,
This is not how I want to spend my life.
I am 30, let me live and experience all that is out there for me.
I WANT TO EXPLORE!

New ways of thinking.
You don't seem to notice but there is
One door missing at the main entrance
Of this long corridor,
Where we have been lost for ages!
Remember, mind, we have once come so close,
There was light, new perspectives arised,
There was happiness, gratitude, freedom!
There still is!
We need the courage to believe in it again,
LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND!

Mind, you are constantly searching for what you FEAR,
And what you fear you always find!
Then you implode, make my body go through painful waves of emotions,
Distortions, this is a self-harming behavior,
Don't you know?

Dear mind, all these thoughts you keep sending me,
Make me be ashamed of my body,
You have created a self-image for us,
Which makes enjoying life so difficult!
BUT I WON'T GIVE UP!

Mind, your creativity is astounding,
Honestly,
So is your ability to analyse and identify,
How within seconds you compare my body to others',
Point out its weaknesses,
Make it the reason to not feel enough,
Find prove for not being love worthy...
DON'T YOU SEE, MIND!

You keep your loved ones at bay,
Constant chatter of overthinking is your veil,
Looking for a sign that everyone else
Judges us in the same way that you do,
We never move beyond these walls,
Never NOT believing into the terrible curse,
This story, Mind, you keep repeating to yourself.

Now I realize that indeed we have been trapped,
We have buried and abandoned ourselves for good.
You, Mind, because you believe in this madness.
And me - who is this anyway? I am still longing
For this freedom. I have not given up.
And I WON'T!

I have made myself your slave.
Why? Because I used to rely upon you
Day and night. You have saved my life.
By building our own protective bunker,
You helped us survive!
Though THOSE DANGERS ARE OVER!

Can you hear me?
The purpose of this bunker is gone.
I am 30 now and I wanna live.
Yes, I want to let my loved ones touch my heart.
Yes, I want to experience hurt if I have to.
Yes, I want to believe in the GOOD
And not in what I've been told in childhood.

Mind, herewith I am cancelling my agreement with you,
I cannot trust your solutions without questioning them,
Lately, I realized that I have been denying my heart,
By keeping company with you for too long.
If you still want to stay in this bunker,
Knocking on sealed old doors,
Where really no one and nothing is waiting for us -
Then do it. I won't fight against it.
But I'll stop believing your stories and arguing with you.

It may take time to unbury myself and get back to light,
But I promise, I will look at myself as a young sprout,
Because I owe it to myself.

Dear mind, consider my invitation to leave the bunker
And your old beliefs behind,
To restart as a beginner's mind.
I know my heart will receive us with love and compassion
In its beautiful and peaceful chambers of light.

I trust the unfolding of life.

It's ok to feel it all.

Goodnight, my love
Don't worry..
You are enough
You're brilliant
You're more
Than what you know
You change,
You come and go,
You leave a trace behind,
You impact the whole world,
You do matter
Just as you are
Keep breathing,
Loving,
Living
Now.

Let's do this
Let's do this
Let's find our way all through this

Let's do this, let's do this, yeah yeah.

Listening to what I have to say
Humming a song of...
What?
Painful memories
Absence of decay
A reward?
Should I be grateful
For not getting harmed in old ways?

Love transforms.

Love brings about change and transformation and flow.

Because by loving we allow the space for everything that exists. No judgement.

Love is the space all around and it is not wanting to change anything.

This way the one who loves is free and gives freedom.

I refuse to listen to the self-harming negative talk in my mind.
I keep refocusing my attention on how I want to talk to myself instead.

Motivating myself
No matter what

We all have fears
These fears are sending thoughts to us.
These thoughts are nothing but bad mirages.
These thoughts feel real but look around
Is any of it here now? No.
Most of the times,
These have started out of one reason
THE ILLUSION OF FEAR.

Failures are weird things: They don't feel great but they are great!

Love means to be here.

This poem
I want it to show me the way
These days, how can I nurture my love more?

What kind of a poem would truly help me?
How can I be helpful to others, too?
I choose my words pretty carefully.

Should I write about life?
Should I be avoiding strife, and holding on and feeling off?
But it all belongs here, I can't make it disappear...

Feeling stuck and trying to move,
Listening to one's heart's groove,
Hoping for an answer in the distance...

A white boat sailing towards the sun,
Those last seconds before it disappears
In the ocean, or the sea...

Darkness comes and the red goes away,
We experience change anyway.
Nurturing my soul by giving hope to others,

Writing from the heart, late at night in bed.
Instead of healthily falling asleep,
My mind was searching for a place to take the leap,

To express concerns and worries to me,
To make me want to let go genuinely,
But I ever slow begin to understand,

What it means when I don't need to pretend.
I don't know how I would handle that...

I want to have you by my side
To share with you every insight
Is that too much to ask of us?
I really wish that we will last.

I feel a creative flow,
And something I haven't yet explored,
With you,
We can have a strong foundation,
I feel there can be more than imagination.

Dullness from our daily lives,
Distance is not how relationships thrive,
Feeling connection with you,
Your smile is soo beautiful, too.

I wanna hide because I feel so seen,
My mind is going crazy in between,
I want to be the perfect one for you,
But seeking perfection is committing to doom.

Entangled in insecurity, ready to give everything,
To build a life I really want to live,
And a relationship full of love and belief.

A few really good friends,
Room for ideas,
Maybe animals, too,
One for me, one for you,

Mostly I just want peace,
Feeling warm exciting breeze,
On my skin, everyday,
Meeting every sun ray,

Holding hands, yours in mine,
Our hearts intertwined,
Happily walking home,
After the day is done.

I want to see who I really am, not who I thought I was because of my conditioning and history.

Toxic thoughts tonight
Doesn't mean they stay forever
Warning, bugging, horrifying me daily.

I ease myself into the uncomfortable.