48 going on 50.

Staring at the ceiling.

The ***** crack.

No sleep.

Feeling numb.

Arm outstretched.

Rip.

Ifs & whys
Buts & sighs
Time flies
Always denies.

Lows & highs
Ambition dies
No-one tries
Shut eyes.

Come rise
Never apologise
Open surprise
No compromise.

Obvious lies
No disguise
Grow wise
Now realise.

Broken down and bust
Fallen idol with rust
No love nor lust
Forgotten covered in dust.

Large serving of self pity
Tired of this grey city
Back to the nitty gritty
Oh such a pity.

The end is nigh
Best quickly get high
Do it down on the sly
Knowing everyone will ask why.

Take a big bite of that crust
In God we pretend to trust
Life doesn't have to be just
Broken down and bust.

Talking with the dead.
The living stumble ahead.
Night of the dread
Watch in black, white and red.

Dawn breaks for light
Good bye to the night
He created for giving
Dead pleasing the living.

Days of darkness
A torn sodden dress
A beautiful mess
The perfect distress.

A Shot to the head to ****
Oh what a terrifying thrill
On blood and guts we gorge
All from a man named George.

Call yourself a liar
Left arm on fire
Each take a turn
Watch them go burn.

Throw down the dice
Cut a big slice
The chest tightens up
Fill the deepest cup.

Break off a piece
Shell cracks to decease
All lost and trust
Red dead and rust.

Sweet tooth
Always burns
Candle grows
Hunger glows.

Dark night
Spanish tale
Depressed lives
Rising knives.

Spiced lamb
Sweet coffee
Broken bread
Missed bed.

Last chance
Birds arising
Must write
Feelings alight.

Is this a test?
Is this it?
As good as it gets?
God, I hope not.

Need something more
Something to bite into
Solid, taste, satisfy.
Feed my hunger.

Blurred light
Keep on staring
Drift off slowly
Need to snap out of it.

Senses loaded
Awakening me
Push on forward
Every day comes.

Feeling unsteady
Lost your voice
Maybe not ready
You have no choice.

Numb in hand
Weak by heart
Standing alone
Time to part.

Clock has ticked
Your time has gone
Regrets aplenty
Light dims not shone.

Last breath escapes
Grit your teeth
Now no feeling
Some small relief.

Hot coffee
Swallowed too quick
Cold water
Allowed to stick.

Too many thoughts
Things to do
Too many noughts
Life in lieu.

Write it all down
Scratch it off your mind
Drink it all down
Let the spring unwind.

Cleanse your soul
Straight from the bowl
An earnt taboo
Burnt just for you.

4 AM
Foreign film
Bored hunger
Dry throat.

Getting late
Parlez-vous Francais?
Chocolate craving
Sore chest.

Darkest hour
Prefer Spanish
More caffeine
Matchstick eyes.

Endless night
Travel needed
Coffee tea
Much relief.

Ringing like a bell
Rolling in Hell
Sure was swell
You never could tell.

All along Route 66
Getting his kicks
Strumming and picks
Inventing the first licks.

Absolutely very
Completely necessary
Juicy like a cherry
Sweet as a Berry.

Down on your luck
Things sure can ****
Don't give a flying.....
Just listen to the man, Chuck.

Have Focus

Make Plans

No Fear

Try Something

Something New

Go Somewhere

Move Around

Try Again.

Try my best to please all,
Burn outs make me a fool.
No appreciation just greed,
Only call when you need.

Sunset trips,
Half moon blips.
Fairweather friends,
Your family extends.

Open one more beer,
Sunday blues kick into gear.
Delay the onset of Monday,
This will all be over one day.

Good hate to all men,
Learnt nothing about Zen.
Scribble your thoughts down in haste,
Try and let nothing go to waste.

I itch and I scratch
I can never relax
I open the fridge door
Hungry for what, unsure.

I stare out the window
With nowhere to go
Put on a record and let it spin
Bet on a horse that will never win.

Drink coffee, beer and wine
Full up beyond feeling fine
Picking a scab clean
I start to daydream.

Nap on the couch with TV on
The light has faded and almost gone
Hold my guitar and pretend I can play
The many ways how I waste my day.

It's not funny but I just can't stand the pain,
Waking up alone it's all the same,
Leaving this world tomorrow,
I begged, stole, borrowed, sorrow....yeah.

Oh that's why I'm depressed,
Depressed like a Sunday morning,
Oh that's why I'm depressed,
Depressed like a Sunday morning.

I want to be drunk, so drunk,
I want to be free to know what's wrong,
I want to be free,
Not you ***** just me.

Oh that's why I'm depressed,
Depressed like a Sunday morning,
Oh that's why I'm depressed,
Depressed like a Sunday morning.

What a tough day
Hoping tomorrow will be better
Squeeze the pillow tight
Try and forget your night.

You stopped washing your jeans
Read about it in a magazine
Adds character apparently
Creases, dirt and gallantry.

Always short of money
Bills never stop a coming
Try and turn a blind eye
But the end is nigh.

Monday to Friday passes
Taste of stale bourbon fades
Appetite starts to grow
Time to do it all again in woe.

Yet another year
Yet another stick
The disappointment grows
Thought and muscles slow.

It takes half a life
To realise where it's gone
Need to make a change
Before you're in chains.

Watching everyone else
Do they feel the same?
Content with everyday drawl
Onward we all crawl.

Tired of waiting around
For something that doesn't show
My blood turns cold
As I grow old.

You wreck yourself
Just for the pleasure
Nothing to moan about
And you feel down.

Picking your scabs
Pick your enemies
Something to complain,
Given sunshine or rain.

Wallow in your joy
Swallow in your pity
Got a new toy
A five minute ploy.

Nails and stigmata
It doesn't really matter
Reassuringly Depressed
To you it's just a minor misery.

Pledge your allegiance to the noise
Hand on chest may annoy
Beaten finely to a pulse
Truth be told and not false.

Keep your time and be strict
Practice until you have it licked
Hit them where it hurts
Send them all off in a hearse.

Never stop what you do
Every day this is for you
Hands give blood until numb
For this is why we all best the drum.

Everything is intrinsically linked.

Me to you,
Life to death,
Time to space,
Breathe to out.

Gone.

But always there,
Always together.

You had no choice
But to leave me
You walked away
And gone was the day.

They say you're in a better place
But I'm not so sure
Gone far too soon
I'm left like a ruin.

Thou shall be missed
Never forgotten
Alive not dead
In my heart, body and head.

Hypnotized by you
Can't look away
Caught in your light
A full on sight.

Standing tall
Once in a year
Middle of your night
Forget the day's plight.

Hung to the brim
Topped with purity
Glowing ****** white
Giving you your respite.

You've been here a while
Running against that wheel
Motivation is draining
Tired of training.

Gone around that track
More than a few times
But inside you still burn
Make a push to turn.

Hit that concrete
Hit that wall
Break on through
To the other you.

A never-ending race
Don't blame your race
Surf over the tide
For one last ride.

Oh Lord
What a dilemma
Two slices of death
Filled full of false charm.

Swallow it down
Best not to taste
Hold your nose
And bite your tongue.

Free to the masses
Payable by shame
Soured so sweet
The last thing you'll want to eat.

Dishonor before death
Crazy for life
Hell will be to pay
Heaven to slay.

Last man standing
Leave your hand in
Raise your glass
Still kicking ***.

Ride like the wind
Shoot the breeze
Lie for your sins
Ace of spades wins.

Heavy on the insults
Heavy on the salt
Rubbed into the wound
Never your fault.

Speak before you think
Never bite your tongue
Just another liability
Waiting to be hung.

Time for you to shut
Your wide open mouth
You deserve the worst
And the Devil will take you south.

Oh Boy, I'm sick
Just a redneck hick
Be dead or be quick
Give me something I can lick.

How did we get here
Just another year
Killing it with beer
Living in false fear.

Wasting all your time
Should be a crime
Everyone lies and says they're fine
Just give me one more dime.

I'm not sure how
I'm feeling right now
There will never be a 'Wow'
When you hail from Slough.

Full of black,
Empty of soul.

High on lies,
Low on truth.

Crown of roses,
Bunch of thorns.

Tired by life,
Driven by death.

Burn with love,
Calm with hate.

Can't you see?
The evil in me.

Bag of blood,
Hanging on the line,
Swelling with pride,
Waiting to die.

Bag of blood,
Blowing in the wind,
Full of smoke, coffee and wine,
What if six were nine.

Bag of blood,
Swinging from the gallow,
Ripe for the picking,
His clock has been ticking.

Bag of blood,
Ruby in the moonlight,
Waiting to drop,
You're just the latest crop.

Sunday night,

Light fading,

Minutes ticking,

Face unshaven.


Candle burning,

Television killing,

Coffee waking,

Canvas awaiting.


Van Sant inspiring,

Head running,

Monday rising,

Must lay some paint down.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
I'll just pull that trigger instead of strum,
Should be a whole lot easier to play,
And then finally I might get to have my say.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
The crowd will move and then they'll run,
Bullets for notes and screams for cheers - what a joy,
Get a load of my new shiny musical toy.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
Your ears will be ringing when I'm done,
I'll point that thing coldly at your head,
Cheer quietly as you're going to be dead.

Think I'll trade my old guitar in for a gun,
Then I might start to have some fun,
I'll play it loud and turn it up to eleven,
I'll send you all on your way to Heaven.