It took me far too long to realize that some people just. don't. care. Whether they hurt you, intentional or not, they just. don't. care. And they'll go about their lives with not an afterthought about you. It's a cold world out there- be careful who you let in.
Your silence did not imply that you had nothing left to say- no, quite the opposite. I heard everything crystal clear from the silence that followed- a silence so deafening, I wasn't loud enough to respond.
Whether I am sad or lonely, or as happy as can be, I still think of you. Even though I am surrounded by joy, it will never feel complete- no, not without you.
Like water, love cycles through you and I, and every corner of this world. It's always flowing, always adapting, always transforming- where would we be without it?
Your words fill me with oxytocin the way love laces each and every word you speak. Your touch fills me with endorphins the way your warmth melts away the blues. Your beauty fills me with dopamine every time I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life. Your smile fills me with serotonin the way its joy spreads across the Earth.
Dear diary; This lockdown has taken my mind on a roller-coaster. Up and down, and everything in between. I think I'm used to the vertigo of this new way of life and some days that's enough of a victory.
Dear diary; Sometimes, my emotions don't line up with my actions- what's up with that? It makes me want to scream into the void- why am I like this? Why am I so broken?
To this day, I can still sense you in every sunray and all its warmth you have shared with the world. Daughter of the sun, it is with your light this world doesn't seem so cold so for the sake of humanity, don't you take that away.
Sometimes we fall in love with those who simply show a kindness that few can reciprocate. They most likely won't think twice about you yet here we are, left so helplessly in love.
You are more than you give yourself credit for and even more in my eyes. I hope you get all the things coming to you- there's no one more deserving of that.
Dear Diary; Lately I've felt like all I am doing is 'existing'- I am 'just here'. I wake up day after day, each one a repeat, an endless loop. Nothing happens anymore, I'm just going through the motions to get the **** day over with just to do it the next day. This is not what I had envisioned- this is not living.