empty,
everything is empty,
one misstep
and you're dead

isolation and
fear
fills the room,
it's cold a dark,
deathly stares
are all that i receive,
the world has become
primitive,
the weak are
left for dead,
the strong
survive,
but the fearful
are the most cruel.

love is a drug;
once you have a taste
you can't get enough.
maybe that's why I am afraid,
afraid to take a sip,
a bite,
a whiff,
of love.
i might overdose.

Me, myself, and I

Life is like the sun
It goes up and down and around
Good days
and bad days
I trust myself and know my place
Outside of society
as it is a danger to all
I must think for myself
and not conform as they do
The world’s opinion is not my own
And thus need not be acknowledged
Like Galileo and Newton
I am misunderstood
but I know who I am
Fortune is my friend
and is with me
but I am all I need

i look up
and see a world
far greater than
the one i'm in,
billions of bright lights,
that call to me
and say that i'm not alone,
i rise up to them
as if gravity ceased to exist,
and i dance with them
and give glory to their creator,
this world is mine
though i am not of it,
these clusters of stars
and galaxies
bring me more joy
than the hell that
the world i belong to brings,
the celestial beings embrace me
and allow me to finally see
the beauty that's around me,
even if it's far away.

le vent souffle
mes cheveux et
le soleil brille.
je vois les fluers,
ils ont beaucoup
des couleurs,
leur parfum
remplit l'air,
je suis assis
sur les fleurs
et regarde
le ciel lumineux.
c'est noire
maintenant,
mais les fleurs
sont là toujours.
je disparais
avec la nuit
et regarde les
belles fleurs
du ciel.

my stomach churns
because it is filled
with millions of
butterflies.
i see him there,
smiling and laughing.
a radiant glow
surrounds him
and i can't see
anyone else.
it makes my heart full,
i love to see him happy,
i want to put that
sweet and
beautiful and
warm smile
on his pretty face,
i can't help but
smile with happiness
when i think of him.
one day he will be mine
and i his,
then we can
laugh and smile
for all
eternity.

i sit in profound silence
in my own presence.
no one is here,
but there are many
beside me.
i am alone.
even the stars
have their own
planets as
companions.
i, among billions,
am left alone,
but i am not
lonely.

i wait patiently
for you
by the sea.
i look out
onto the vast
blue crystals
wondering where you are
and when you'll come
to see me
and sweep me up
off my feet.
the wind blows my hair
softly,
i hum quietly to myself,
and i wish that you
would hurry
and fill me
with your warm embrace.
i stand alone
by the sea,
patiently waiting
for you,
my love.

my eyes open,
the dark night fills my vision,
the moon stares at me
with a smirk on her face
to see if i will make
any form of movement.
i do not.

dead flowers surround me,
they smell of rotten flesh,
but it calms me
and allows me
to forget the
sadness
in my beating heart.

the moon laughs at me
because i am alone
in these wilted flowers,
but i enjoy being alone
and i am always alone
and will be alone
forever,
just like the moon

it envelopes me
like the ocean,
i sink slowly,
it's dark
and becomes darker
until everything is black,
my face is wet,
it tastes like this ocean,
my eyes close
as the darkness grabs me
and clings to me
and whispers to me,
i am nothing
and i am sorry,
it drags me deeper
until i am no more,
it's dark,
but this ocean feels so warm
around me

i fall,
i see the sky
that i longed for,
so dark,
but filled with light,
it drifts from me
as if to avoid me,
my tears
fall up
and leave me,
my limbs, too,
detach,
i become nothing
again,
it hurts,
my chest hurts,
i cant breathe,
something flys away
and I am empty,
i'm sorry

the moon,
so bright and full,
fills the blue black sky.
it is all one can see,
not the stars
in their glory.
she casts her light
and love
onto the world,
we relish it
and discard her.
her loving face
radiates on us,
nonetheless.

i look down
at the broken earth,
the world filled with sorrow
and grief,
hatred and anger;
the world that i hate.
i am so small
in a world like this,
so insignificant
compared to the billions,
my neck hurts
but all i can do it look down,
for it is better to look
upon this beaten earth,
than to stare straight into
the face of hell.

i am like a box of dark chocolates:
filled with disappointment

they fly by
the days,
i look down,
my hands are
wasted away
like the colorful leaves
that surround me,
the sun begins to set
like my time here,
i sink into the earth
the elements become me,
nothing lies
before me,
nor behind me,
it all disappears,
i become what I am:
nothing

the blue sky covers the world
bespeckled with white clouds,
it meets the water and transforms,
far and near it travels
calmly but surely
shallow yet deep,
soon the sky becomes
pink
and orange
and yellow
and many other hues,
the water reflects the sky
as its companion,
as the sky turns black
and fills with stars
the water does as well
in a harmonious slumber.

are you
satisfied?

i wish i
could have
loved someone
truly.
i am on my
solemn deathbed
surrounded by
white light.
i have spent
my life
alone,
every second
in solitude
and in
bitter loneliness.

no, i am not
satisfied.

i once loved you,
for you comforted me
like a mother does
for a child,
but i learned to love
someone else
and we left each other
behind.

i met you again tonight.
i still love you,
but
we are not
the perfect match,
star crossed lovers,
or sweethearts

i may see you
for the last time
someday,
but i will still love you
and will never stop
loving you,
because you
were my first love.

the bright lights
dance in the rain.
a dark figure
is in the shadows.
it's large body
dances with the
lights,
demonically.
im scared,
but it cant hurt
me
behind these bars.

one becomes two
then two becomes three,
that's how we came to be.

in good and in bad
we were together,
like the three musketeers.

now that we must part
only three words can be said:
i love you.

my eyes close
and i fall,
it's dark,
there's no floor
or ceiling,
no alpha
nor omega
like God,
but i wake up
and forget.

my world fell apart
because you were my world,
but you became my
hell
instead.

i miss you
and how things
used to be,
but you chose others
over me
when i was
the only one
you ever had.

my world became my hell,
full of
wailing and
grinding
of teeth.

i bask in the
sunlight,
i feel the warm
earth between
my fingers,
my eyes close
and I drift into
a light slumber.
when i awake
it is dawn,
a new day begins,
but
why are my hands
so old and wrinkled?

i want to remember
everything.

i fall back
and time holds me,
i see the beginning of the world,
the earth anew,
all peoples collide
and are one,
i am you
and you are me,
we are the same
yet so unique.

but i am awaken to
reality.

it's empty inside of me,
as if a void was birthed
in me
and it started to eat me
from inside.
it is dark
and i am alone.
i soon turn numb
as the freezing darkness
takes over me.
i drift away into
this place,
my heart sinks
as it is taken
by the void
within me.

i miss the old days
when there was light,
but now there is
only night
and it is so cold.
i wish someone would
hold me
so that i could forget
the darkness
and be warm
again.

i am a small bumble bee
flying through the sky,
springing about
and basking in the sun,
the flowers are my safe space
and i become drunk on pollen,
this fast paced world slows
and comes to a stop,
in my frivolity
i have forgotten that i am alone
but there are more flowers that surround me.

it crumbled
like a soft cookie,
and i fell.
like a lamb led to the
shearer
i go to my slaughter.

if they are happy,
then,
why should i?

i fall back
off the cliff,
time slows as i fall,
the air feels cool,
refreshing
against my skin,
the gray sky watches me
and i watch back,
i close my eyes
before i hit the water
and smile.

why?
i wanted to feel alive.

i am like a grand waterfall,
a never ending stream
filled with life,
yet i am an old tree in the dark,
lifeless and bears no fruit,
why waste away
why be mute
when i can sing and dance forever?

like an animal caught
by it's prey
am i.
trampled,
crushed,
small,
used,
and beaten,
discared
without question.
how can i live
in a world
where i do not
belong?

the clear, blue sky fills my vision,
the sea covers my right
and left,
peace engulfs me,
i reach up to touch
the vast sky,
i fly
high into the air,
i aim for the sun
but it is out of reach,
one day i will hug it
and comfort it,
like it did to me.

i fly
straight up,
past the clouds and the earth,
i zoom to the stars,
we dance and play
together,
the earth is but a tiny
speck
that is forgotten from my
mind.
why should i go back?

i see the bright light
through my closed eyes.
the warmth of
heaven
fills me.

when i open my eyes,
though,
you are here,
in front of me,
and i am alone
in darkness.

it becomes me.
i am it.
we blend in harmony,
you and me.

a bird with clipped wings
am i;
no desire to fly,
nor the strength.
i become nothing.
who am i,
now that i am alone?
my mouth opens,
but i no longer have any breath.

the room is filled.
toys,
candy,
music.
everyone is there,
smiling.

i awaken,
and
it's only you
that i see.

i hate humans,
i said to Him.
He pondered
and became
sad.
He loved them,
though,
as His own,
but they are
full of
hate.