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596 · Jun 2015
16W
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
16W
And for the first time
In a long time
She knew she would be OK.
I'm doing so much better today than in have been. Praise God for allowing me to forget (albeit temporarily) my problems. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
593 · Apr 2015
Who Are You?
Marisa Lu Makil Apr 2015
Who are you
Behind that profile picture
That is not you

Who are you
Behind those words that pour
Like blood from your fingers to the keyboard

Who are you
Behind your angry insults
A mendicant of mercy.

Which begs the question:
Who am I behind my picture
And my words
And my angry insults?

I don't know who I am.
592 · Apr 2016
The Robot
Marisa Lu Makil Apr 2016
Bronze as the sun with a heart that was laden
A robot once walked where no flowers would waken
The robot was different, he wasn't the same
But the people around him all thought he was sane

He felt on some days as though he would explode
From the sounds all around him as he walked down the road
Was he going crazy? Was he insane?
No one understood-they all thought him inane

The darkness took over and showed on his face
All that he knew was he didn't belong in this place
He felt all alone and one day he decided
That maybe this life wasn't worth what he'd tried

The robot one day sat alone on a bridge
And he wondered and thought as he sat on the ridge
Would anyone notice if he disappeared?
Or was he as invisible as he feared?

He slipped one foot then another over the edge
And he straightened his back and let go of the ledge
He fell and he fell toward the icy cold
And when he hit the surface-his face was still bold

And when they found him a few days later
All of those people they thought him greater
They told of the things that they had seen him do
How selfless he lived, how brave, and how true

They hadn't known him-not as they thought
He was dying inside, but still he had fought
He had been dead long before he did jump
Long before all the words and the hurt made him slump

But now he was free of the hurt and the lies
He sits with the fishes and there he will lie
He sings every night of the things he was told:
That he didn't have feelings and how he stayed gold

And some nights when people feel strange, or feel sad
And stand on that bridge when they need to feel glad
He'll whisper a something that comforts their hearts
That will let them know that they can restart

"Tomorrow's a new day and you're a good soul
And you can start over and make yourself whole"
"The Robot will stay there," it's said, "Till he's done
Till no more sad people feel the need to run"

"He'll lay there beneath with his back still held straight
And then, when he's done, they'll know he was great."
The Robot is sadness in ****** form
The people are haters who bring on the storms

The bridge is the thoughts that plague us at night
The water the thing that gives them the sight
The song is our voices when we are long gone
And comfort to hold us when we seem to drown

You aren't alone, you will always have me
No matter where you are, no matter the scene
I will sing for you, I will hold tight
When no one else hears you, or can feel your light

My dearest, my darling, just hold on to this:
You are a blessing and deserve such bliss
Bring me your sadness, bring me your shame
Bring me your broken and bring me your blame

Just let me hold you when things seem so dark
And let me show you that there is a spark.
There is a something that makes this worth living
And it's time to take, instead of just giving.

You gave all your live, and give still in death
You inhale forgiveness, and smile with breath
It's time just to take, and yourself forgive
And always remember that there's is a reason to live.
We are robots in a world of living flesh. Don't let it destroy you. <3
Depression is a real problem. 6.7% of the U.S. Population experience it in a given year. That's at least 14.8 Million adults ages 18 and older. Know the signs.
591 · Feb 2015
Save Me
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
"Save me, Jesus," Lord, I cry
Lift me on Heaven's ray.
No longer in this awful world
Does my heart long to stay.

This wretched thing that I have done
A face so wrought with tears
My soul for now must bear the cross
For all my wretched years.

Take this cross from me, oh Lord
'Tis such a thing to bear
For all my senseless wanderings,
I seem to be nowhere.

A step here, a stumble there
My journey's taking me
Onto a road that leads somewhere
I never want to be.

Take me, Lord and take me now
So far away from here.
I know my wretched cries have reached
The Haven-Heaven's ears.

Jesus, thanks to you, I walk
Upon the narrow road.
No longer towards the devil's teeth
The broader, evil road.

I walk in my Jesus' arms
A Haven I know well.
He steers me on the narrow path
Now go I not to hell.

Through this narrow escapade,
I have learned to see
My savior never left my side
He's always been with me.

And through this trial'd walk of life
My burdens weigh still more
But every day I learn again
It's held still by my Lord.
God never gives us more than we can handle. When he carries us into, he carries us through.
589 · Jun 2015
Anyone???
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who misses out on fun
And stays out of the sun?

Am I the only one
Really the ony one
Who doesn't have a BF
Who doesn't have a love?

Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who sits around with no one
No one to love on me?

Am I the only one
Really the only one
Who feels this unloved
I wish I had "the one"
Lord, grant me patience for the one you have reserved for my arms.
588 · Jan 2021
Less and Lessons
Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2021
We've all strayed a little
Too far
From the road
And we can't find
A way back
So let's drink
Raise a toast
And hope
We can find a better way
583 · Sep 2015
Soon and Very Soon
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
In 2 days
I will either
Lose you forever
Or see you
Every week.
Please
Please
Please
Another foster child I've grown attached to. His hearing is on Wednesday. We find out if his parents'rights are terminated. I feel so awful for hoping they are.
579 · Mar 2015
Words
Marisa Lu Makil Mar 2015
Words can be beautiful
Words can be ugly
Words can make your heart beat faster,
Or tears run down your face.
Words can sew you up with a needle and thread,
Or they can slash holes and scars in you that no matter how many times you fix them, they keep-keep bleeding.

Words can hurt.
574 · Jun 2015
Dearest Angel of Mine
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
As I stare you down
Laying in my arms
My own lungs could drown
For I cannot breathe

How your chest goes down
And comes right back up
A sweet gold crown
Of our memories

Looking here at you
Takes me to a place
Where I dream of two
I smile at your face

I know when you wake
You will leave me here
Drifting to the lake
You were meant to go

When you leave me here
It hurts me, angel
Know you'll disappear
When you do come back

Dearest angel mine
As you rest so deep
Take up wings and fly
Beautiful in sleep

Oh, what shall I do
When you leave me here
This place meant for two
Will have only one

I thought you loved me
You said forever
So , dear, I'm begging
                    "Don't leave me here


...lonely"
Oh, angel taking up my head,
I love you as I've always said.

Just something I thought up. Rhyming is a beast. ;)
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2017
I love the memories
We made together
I can still feel your warm hand
On my shoulder
As I sat by a fire
Staring at its flickering
Fingers

I miss the good times
I remember when you
Scolded someone
Because "You never ask a woman for her weight"

I remember
Leaning my head on your shoulder
As you drove me home
After a long night
Alone in the silence
Only a dark road in front of us

And I miss
Your long hugs
And your bright smiles
And your conversation
And your greetings
And your jokes
And your family

And I miss you
I miss you so much

But alas, we have changed
The good times are gone
And we are now
Alone
We may have been soul mates
Once
But now
We are just ships
Lonely ships
Passing in the long, lonely night.
573 · Jun 2017
Alone Again
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2017
I am alone again
I knew that this would come
I saw it from afar
A bullet from a gun

Now I'm left here bleeding
No one to save me now
No one to give me stitches
Or wipe sweat from my brow

I am alone again
I feel it in my soul
I feel it in my heart
The loneliness is cold

I feel it in my heartbeat
It pumps within my veins
I want it to get out of me
I just want to be sane

And now I'm left again
With these red stains on my wrists
The bands of pain apparent
A touch of deadly bliss

I am alone again
And no one else can see
That though I am surrounded,
There's no one here with me.
Being alone with one's thoughts can be more dangerous than someone holding a gun to your head, because at least there's someone there to stop them.
563 · Sep 2015
Still Human
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
I'm sorry I'm not as pretty as her
I'm sorry I'm not as funny as her
I'm sorry I'm not as "cool" as her
I'm sorry I don't laugh as nice as her
Trust me. I live with her every day.
I know how perfect she is.

But I'm a human, too.
I still feel things as deeply
If not deeper
Than she does
Dear everyone...
554 · Mar 2015
Foster Child
Marisa Lu Makil Mar 2015
Chubby cheeks
Curly hair
Toothless mouth
Erratic laughs
Excited faces
Bright smiles
Little clothes
Funny actions

Can I keep you forever, my foster child?
I don't want you to leave.
Every time I see you, you
Brighten
My
Day.
To "buggy boy" the foster child we are watching.
546 · Nov 2015
No Longer Summer
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2015
Wind whips through my hair
Sending it like a cat of nine tails
Across my face

I smile on

A foam of gray spreads its wings above me
So different from the blue of yesterday

Bleak brown figures reach
Their bare arms towards me
Begging for the coverings they have shed

I glance down, and rise up
A shiny black surface smiles at me
How odd that the chariots that ride it
Are so rusty
And unadorned
Unlike the solid ground
I once rode on
Gray and ugly, but ridden by shiny, beautiful things
Almost as if to say that the most beautiful
Things are found at the lowest point

Sky above me
Trees around me
Ground beneath me
Blood inside

Take me to a summer where
Glory will in my eyes shine
I've been absent on here lately, but my mood today is so bleak-much like the sky.
543 · May 2016
Tired of Being
Marisa Lu Makil May 2016
Tired of being tired
Tired of being alone.
Tired of being sick
Ready to be done

Tired of looking backwards
Always to the past
But the same, the future
Cannot come too fast

Tired of being tired
Tired of being alone.
Tired of being sick
Ready to be done

Tired of being lonely
Tired of being sore
Tired of my heart crying
Begging for "no more".

Tired of being tired
Tired of being alone.
Tired of being sick
Ready to be done
543 · Jun 2018
Time Cannot Erase
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2018
I hate this
The hating myself
And loving you
Even though
It should be
The other way around

You hurt me
You put your hands where
No one else's
Had ever
Made a mark
My angel of darkness

But my mind
My mind keeps twisting
This into a
Fairytale
Of some sick
Hansel and Gretel tale

Were I am
The villain and you
You are the sweet
Innocent
Son who is
Just trying
To find a way through this

Whatever it is

So I love
I give my all to
You and  your games
Even though
Your warm hands
Are all over my own

Your skin and
Sweet scent of cologne
Have left bruises
All over
My life now
And they won't go away

So please, please
Someone help me to
Get rid of these
Marks and these
Footprints that
Are left in my memories

You are a ghost
And God help me,
I can't make you leave
To someone who I loved-and still love. I don't know why I still make excuses for you, I don't know why I can't hate you. I should hate you, everything inside me tells me that I should, but I don't. I don't hate you. I love you.
541 · Jan 2017
My Wish For You 2K17
Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2017
May you always be glad
And all your steps be light
All your nights be merry
And all your days be bright

This wish I have to spare
This prayer I pray for you
May your skies be sunny
And all your oceans blue

With every shooting star
You dare to wish upon
I pray that all your dreams
Will always meet the dawn

But there is one thing that
I wish with all my heart
Something I've felt for you
Yes, from the very start

I hope that one day when
Your heart is wearing thin,
Your sight is all but gone
From the places you've been

I hope that you can say
With utter certainty,
A lifetime of adventure
Is all you'll ever need

I hope on your deathbed
As your breath leaves your chest
That you can say Surely
That you did your best

That everytime you spoke
You left a little smile
Upon the lips of those
You'd talked to for awhile

Everyone you spoke to
Left a little better
No longer prisoners
But shedding their fetters

For every smile you cast
And every hug you give
May cleanse the souls of those
Who find it hard to live

And isn't it better
To smile and save a life
Than quietly pass by
And leave them to their strife?
540 · Jun 2015
Untitled 15
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
I read through our old
Text messages to remind
Myself
Of the good times
The times when
We talked
And laughed
And called each other affectionate names
The times we still woke up to each other's
Faces on the screens
Of our phones.
Here's to back then.
537 · Dec 2015
I Live For The Moments
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2015
I live for the moments.
Not the times or the days.
I live for the memories
When I'm swept away.

I live for sweet things
Hugs and kisses at night
For opening the door for me
And turning off the lights

I live for porchstep-kisses
And stars hung in the sky
I live for the wonderful things
The ones that get me by

I live for actions, not just people
I watch what they do
A deep head-thrown-back laugh
Little things get me through

I live for the soft things
A bird that flutters by
The jumping of a fish
The kiss of butterflies

I live for the love
And for the lovely things
I love the thought of fantasy
Of kings and of Queens

My heart beats for the good times
The times of happiness
Where all of my anxiety
Shrinks away like mist

I breathe for the gentle times
The rise and fall of a chest
For late-night sipping cocktails
Until there's nothing left

I live for pouring out emotions
I didn't think I had
And saying I'm upset when
I didn't know I was sad

I live for the moments
And the times of trust
When I know they'll last forever
Like friendship's loving rust.
I live for moments, not times or days.
536 · Sep 2015
Do you...?
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2015
He's The One
He's always there for me
Had a not-so-little crush on him
In 3rd grade

And I love him far as telescopes can see
I'm the only one who'll love him
'Till my last breath.

But then there's her
Who'll leave him
When the sun comes up

But he holds her tighter
He loves her more
All these emotions
Swirling 'round
Make my heart sore
He pulls her closer
They push me away
And oh my heart
How I long for him to say
"If you're willing still
Please have me
Do you love me?"

A few years pass
And he still holds her near
And my heartbeat still gets fast
When he walks toward me

I still love him far as telescopes can see
But she's got him in her grip
And won't let go

But then there's me
Standing in the background
Wishing he
Would hold me just as close

But he holds her tighter
He loves her more
All these emotions
Swirling 'round
Put me at war
He pulls her closer
They push me away
And oh, my mind
And heart and soul
Just scream and say
"Please leave her
I still want you
Do you love me?"

I'd found my  love
I'd found The One
I'd found my sweetheart
But there he was
He stole my heart
And now it's beating

He held her tighter.
He loved her more
All the emotions
Love, hate, anger
I'm at war.
He pulled her closer
They pushed me away
But now he's come
And says
"I've got something to say:
If you're willing still
Please have me
Could you love me?"
If you're wondering if this looks a little different, it's because it is. Ha-ha I accidentally deleted it. So I had to rewrite it. Ha-ha oh well. Enjoy. :P
534 · Apr 2015
Piano Song
Marisa Lu Makil Apr 2015
I wish I could write a poem

About that song I heard.

The one that is happy

And sad

And childish

And adultish

But there are no words.

Just your fingers

Playing with the piano

Plucking at my heart.

Oh well.

I will think of something else.
533 · Jan 2016
Untitled 25
Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2016
Her face and her lips speak deceit
Even her actions are lies.
She is a walking falsehood with fiction in her wake.
To someone we all know.
531 · Dec 2019
Faded Touch
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2019
It's a rainy day
The sun is hiding
The fog rolls in
The road is guiding

A sweet nostalgia
Pulls strings on my heart
It's been too long
That we've been apart

The miles go on
I'm closer to you
The clouds fade away
The sky is blue

The time has come
I see your eyes
Miraculous
They match the skies

I'm in your arms
As daylight fades
And all my worries
Melt away
530 · Apr 2016
To K 2016
Marisa Lu Makil Apr 2016
To the long car rides
And the junk food trips
To the loud radio
And miscellaneous gifts
To the goodbye hugs
And “Hello agains”
To the happy beginnings
And all the sad ends
To the “You look goods”
And the “Eh, not so much’s”
And the deep conversations
That no one else touches
To the 5-minute arguments
And later apologies
And the “How do you do this?”
And the help with technology
To the I-can’t-hear country songs
And the speaker-vibrating bass
And the dealing with people
With undeserved grace
To the long midnight laughter
‘Till we’re told to shut up
And the splitting of drinks
Between two paper cups
To the cooking our own stuff
‘*** we’re just that cool
And the angry frustrations
With people at school
To the late-night shrieks because of the mice
And letting them go because we’re so nice
Here’s to the worst times
The bad, and the good
And here’s to “I love you”
And “By me you’ve stood”
I love you, dearie
And I always will
So here’s to 18
And time standing still
To my sweet, sweet cousin. Happy 18th.
527 · Aug 2015
Sidewalk Talk
Marisa Lu Makil Aug 2015
How many times
Have I sat here

How many times
Has the wind whipped my hair around my face

How many times
Has the night engulfed me
In its dark arms

How many times
Had this sidewalk been my #1 place to pray
Pray that maybe next time it will work out

How many times
Have my tears wet this pavement

How many times
Have my worries swept away the dirt
On your surface

How many times
Will I sit here again

How many times
Will the hurt trickle into the cracks
On this cement

How many times
Will the rain cover the tears I've wept
Like I did again tonight

How much more pain
How many silent comfort sessions
*Can I take?
The sidewalk in front of my house has heard many of my worries and hurts. Me one (vain?) hope is that one day I'll find a person to replace the empty sidewalk.
523 · Jan 2018
Things Hoped For
Marisa Lu Makil Jan 2018
Just because I hate the city
Doesn't mean I want
A
Silent
Life
I long for the powerful armored ocean
To pound at
My feet
Entreating me
Begging me
Enter
I dream
Of the quiet
Misty green
Mountains
Majestic
In their solitude
And mighty
In their sustaining of
Life
I hope for
The soft, strong
Air of sailing
To beat against my face
Threatening
To lift me
Into it's blue embrace
My heart beats
For the pines
Green
And great in beauty
I don't want a quiet life
I want a wild life
Take me to the ocean so deep I cannot stand, bring me to the mountains where I feel the urge to climb, whisk me away to the magic of nature, to the unnatural side of the trees.
521 · Feb 2015
Not Me
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
I apologize
Over and over again
But I shouldn't.
It's your fault.
520 · Nov 2017
11WP
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2017
I wish
Oh, I wish
I knew how to help you
519 · Sep 2019
I Dream of Sunshine
Marisa Lu Makil Sep 2019
The dark returns
I know someday
The sun will shine again
I write the best when in misery
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
What they don't understand
About what happened
Is that

Every breath
Since he left
Is laborious.

Every day
That I live
Is victorious

Every guy
That I see
Is notorious

Because
Because he
Was inglorious.

What they don't understand
About him leaving
Is that

Every day
That goes by
Is upsetting

Every tear
That I cry
Is regretting

Every good
I would see
Is vanishing

Everything
I would trust
I'm not trusting.

Every good
Memory
I'm forgetting

Every pain
He caused me
Is confronting me

Face
To
Face
The thing no one gets is that the second he left, he broke that precious thing inside me that hope that dared to hope that maybe-maybe there was some good in this world. But it's broken, now. Everywhere I go, all I see is bad, and I hate it. I'm not even angry at him. He broke me in ways that may never heal. But I guess that hope is still daring to hope that maybe he didn't mean it.
512 · Mar 2017
A New Way Of Life
Marisa Lu Makil Mar 2017
He carried a crimson bible
And held it between his hands
He flipped through it with his fingers
And taught me to understand.
511 · Feb 2015
I prefer the shadows
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
The dark void
Engulfing me with every
Stride.
Black.
The mixture of every color
Yet...the only one that can show the stars.
Darkness is my friend
Darkness is me.
But light pushes around me
Breaking
Breaking me in half
Wrenching away the only
Warm
Comfort
I
Have
Ripping the cold that I call home
Away from my writhing soul.
"I can't breath."
I've told people that before, but it was nothing like this.
My lungs are caving
In
My friend-
My only friend
Has betrayed me.
It reaches inside me,
Congesting
Everything.
My fingers are numb,
My thoughts are void,
Slipping like short-lived treasures through my dead fingers.
Nothing exists.
Outside of me.
And yet-
Everything does,
And only I am dead.
Nothing lives in me.
My breath is gone
My thoughts are fleeing
"I won't hurt you, I swear.
I just want my friend back-
I just want the void."
506 · Jul 2015
Back Again
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
And now
Even now
After working so hard
Not to love you
I find myself
With butterflies
Every time
You touch me.
Putting his arm around me, hugging me, touching my cheek with hiis thumb. Why does he have to keep playing with me?
500 · Nov 2016
Promises, Promises
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2016
You told me
"It will be the same"

You told me
"No, nothing will change"

You told me
"That was yesterday"

You told me
"I will always stay"

You said to me
"I love you, dear"

You told me
You were always near

You promised me
You'd hold me close

An eternity
Of hot cocoa's

Of all the things
You said to me

The promises
You spoke and breathed

Of all the lies
That you told me

This one was the worst

You promised me
"We're always friends"

You told me this
Would never end

You said to me
"Just stay with me"

But it was you
Who did the leaving
499 · Mar 2015
Always
Marisa Lu Makil Mar 2015
Someone will always be Incensed.
Someone will always be angry.
And I don't care.
Well...
I do,
But I can't tell anyone that.

Then they would know.
488 · Jun 2023
Road Trip
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2023
I just want to go home
But I don't know where that is anymore.
I'm not doing well at all. I've eaten tears all day and night, Lack of sleep pounds in my head like a drum. Like a door that's been locked with any semblance of sanity just out of reach. My eyes hurt, my soul hurts. Tears are a companion I meet with every day. I hold them back at work by looking into a bright light, but I sometimes wonder if anyone can tell how puffy and red my eyes really are behind these safety glasses. I distract myself with jokes and feigned energy, but the mask only goes so deep and I just wish that someone would love me enough to look underneath and just hold me for a long time until everything fades away and I feel like I can breathe without breaking.
487 · Apr 2015
What I Did To You
Marisa Lu Makil Apr 2015
I lay in my bedroom and pondered one day
Why no one I knew would seem to stay the same

Was angry and broken, and felt so put down
And before I knew it was face to the ground.

Things looked so different laying down there
When I looked up at you, the world seemed to glare.

I beat the ground like you beat me sometimes
Now I'm just searching for something here that rhymes

I don't understand why you do this to me
Come to me fighting like a returning dream

I lay here sometimes thinking of how we fought
And so here I lay again writing my thoughts

And as I lay here, something came to my mind.
Something that made me wonder if I was blind.

All the things about you I seemed to hate so
Were things I made of you-shaping my own foe.

The way you talked to me was my own mad voice
Now with heavy heart, I had to make a choice.

So there I lay with my hot tears rolling down
But as I always did, not making a sound

I realized too late that what forced you away
Was my strong willpower asking you to stay

So though in my heart you took one of two spots,
You were a painting I had covered with blots

As much as I desperately wanted to stay,
With tears on my face, I would push you away

Your perfect portrait was something I had maimed
And now thanks to me you will not be the same.

But for your own good, I swear to let you go
Maybe one day your portrait will be as snow

Don't understand how you forgive me this way
All I can tell you is to keep me at bay.

I'm sorry, I love you.
Post script:
I love you more than words can say
And that is why I cannot stay.

To everyone I have hurt by making them like me. I am so so sorry. I can only hope that one day, your painting may be made beautiful again. I have splattered mud on it, and though it will never be the same, perhaps the artist might use the mud to color the sand.
484 · Dec 2015
We Must Walk In Light
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2015
We must walk in light
And not in darkness
Speak of truth
And not of night

Think of good intent
And not of evil
Love like God
And live like Christ

We must treat our friends
The same as we
Give to them
And not take back

Jesus loves the weak
And the burdened
Holds them close
And ne'r let's go

Lord

Give me strength to
Love the wounded
Care for them
As you did me

Show them how you
Brought me-wanderer
Down to kneel
Before the king

Give me peace like
Bright blue rivers
Let me pass
it to my own

Give me lungs to
Sing your praises
You are I AM to
Make it known
482 · May 2015
My Name
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
My name
Is used by 2 people whom I love
Other than myself

I made this name.
When I was 13,
I began a novel.
The main character's name was Marisa Lu Makil.

She was everything I ever wanted to be
Wrapped up into one lost girl.
She had matured by the end of the book
And so have I.

I made my name
So can you.
Make your name
You can be whoever and whatever you want to be.

So live long
Laugh hard
And love ferociously.

Make your name
A name that others wish they could live up to,

And enjoy the story along the way.
Marisa is a pseudoname. It is used by a couple other people with my permission, but when I claim the name of my childhood hero, I feel like I have lived as she did: long, laughing hard, and loving ferociously.
468 · Dec 2015
Steady Hands
Marisa Lu Makil Dec 2015
One day I was wondering by
Was feeling like I could just cry
I looked at my hands
They shook from the glands
And a tear then escap-ed my eye

Steady hands, dear, hands steady
Ne'er say never, be ready
Listen, and don't speak,
Dance, my dear, and leap
Steady hands, dear, hands steady

I steadied them as I thought
My tears, I put back and fought
Whispered to myself
My fears on a shelf
Steady hands, dear, steady hands

Steady hands, dear, hands steady
Ne'er say never, be ready
Listen and don't speak
Dance, my dear and leap
Steady hands, dear, hands steady

I speak of experience
Worse luck I have not had since
Put on a brave face
Finish today's race
And tomorrow start it again

Steady hands, dear, hands steady
Ne'er say never, be ready
Listen and don't speak
Dance, my dear, and leap
Steady hands, dear, hands steady
When the waters are rough, put on a brave face, steady your hands, and finish the race. Tomorrow is a new day.
466 · Jul 2015
How You Helped
Marisa Lu Makil Jul 2015
I was broken
I was crushed
I was hurt
I was rushed
You came up
Took my fright
Brought me back
To the light
You would never
Put me down
But when smashed
In the ground
You loved me more
Than I thought you could
Didn't leave
You just stood
Stood with me
Through it all
Helping me
To stand tall
You loved me
Through my tears
Can't repay you
Even with years
Thank you, dear
For loving me
How you helped
You cannot see
I know somehow
I'll find I way
All you've done
To repay
To my friend Grace. I love you so much, honey. Thank you for always loving me as nothing more or less than a friend.
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2017
I am a depressed, anxious insomniac who has never to her memory gone an entire day without being in physical pain. I am a migraine-afflicted, allergy-suffering, chronic-pain-having, fibromyalgia-surviving, lonely beast in search of someone bright enough to give what is left of my heart to. But like a phoenix, I am risen from the ashes day after day, sustained by the belief-the faith that one day I will be taken away from this agony, and never again will I feel the pain I do now. I survive only by the hand of an almighty God, who has promised perfect peace if I only speak to Him day by day.
"They will insult you, hurt you, defeat you, betray you, injure you, set you aflame and watch you burn. But they will not, shall not, cannot destroy you. Because you, like Rome, we're built on ashes, and you, like a phoenix know how to rise and resurrect."
464 · Feb 2015
Back-Stager
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
I am a back-stager.
I fix the lights
I help people with their makeup
No one ever sees me.
I am a back-stager
459 · Jun 2015
All This Time
Marisa Lu Makil Jun 2015
When did I obtain
So much hurt
When did my heart
Feel like dirt

When did my voice
Become lies
So much of my pain
Hides inside

When was it okay
To speak lies
Deep inside my heart
My voice hides

What I want to say
I don't speak
I keep it away
Like a freak

I'm just so relieved
That you're here
Making sure I'm fine
Hope in my ear
To someone I hope I never lose. I love you so much. I don't know where I'd be without you. Thank you for always knowing when to bug me about what's wrong, and when to leave me alone for awhile. May God bless you and keep you. <3
452 · Feb 2018
Hallelujah, what a King
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2018
A time will come when days are dark
Your lantern will not light a spark
The devil, then, will leave his mark
And night will sweep toward us

The darkness will blot out the light
And every hour will be as night
All of mankind will be a'fright
When the devil comes a'callin

But there is hope inside this tale
The sun will wipe away the vale
And then all wickedness will fail
We'll hear a brighter story

The Lord will come in chariots bright
He'll banish blackness, greet the light
His righteousness-oh what a sight
When He will come again

Like a warrior He will come
Into His loving arms we run
His brilliance is like the sun
He'll banish fear and sadness

The devil He will send away
In all His glorious bright array
We'll go to heaven where we'll stay
And live with Him forever

And when all things are said and done
And when the dark o'r takes the sun
upon the golden streets we'll run
And live with Him in glory

So take hope then, He's coming soon
To have the sun, wait out the moon
He sings a sweeter, richer tune
Hallelujah what a King
452 · Feb 2015
2013-Present
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
2013:
The year I graduated 8th grade
The year I went to my first real party
In 2013 I learned to braid

I told myself "Everyone leaves"
And I had my first crush.
Little did I know I was about to grieve.

2013 was the thanksgiving that I had my heart broken.
I thought I knew what hurt was
In 2013 my first real hurt was spoken

2014:
My teacher died
My church stepped down a little
My friend became a bride

I found my God.
I realized that life (love) isn't always easy
Yet every day I was awed

In May I had my best friend restored.
My heart was almost healed.
But even so, it was ignored.

I realized that everyone changes.
I decided I wanted to be a teacher.
I learned that life is not all about my own exchanges.

Present:**
Tears still fall.
Friends still leave
But all in all

I think I'm doing better
Than I was before.
I feel freed from my fetters.

My bonds that never left
That came back every day.
And I'm still bereft

Some people will stay.
This I have learned.
But I'm doing okay.
It's really sad that I only learned how to braid my hair for real like 3 years ago...
449 · Feb 2015
Times
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
I like the simple things.
The things like
Eating an apple with a knife
And jamming out to music
And the feeling of soapy warm water
On my hands when I wash dishes
And the sun coming through the window
And quiet walks on a starry night
And fresh chocolate chip cookies
And a clean house
And the smell of old books
And wearing my favorite shirt

There are times
When my heart sings
Because the sun
And because the moon
And because the stars
And the trees
And dirt
And light, and just
Life

But then there are the down times.
Those morbid
Menacing
Ugly
Angry
Sad
Upset
Unfair
Times
When nothing
Is good
And I can't
Seem
To
Breathe
Quite
Right.
In
Those
Times
There is only one thing I can do.

Remember the good times.
I am so happy today. The sun is shining, and if you ignore all the snow, you can almost pretend it's summer if you are sitting inside. I am listening to a good song, and wearing my favorite shirt, and my cousins will be here soon, and my hair looks nice today, and I am just really happy :)
449 · May 2015
Photos
Marisa Lu Makil May 2015
Every photo
Has a memory of its
Own to hold its hand
443 · Feb 2015
Night Time
Marisa Lu Makil Feb 2015
Can't think of any-
thing to write on this cold night
What then shall I do?
442 · Nov 2019
Breath Of My Own
Marisa Lu Makil Nov 2019
You be my bones
I'll be your structure
You be my lungs
And I'll be your lover
There's nothing can take
What we've always had
I think of you night and day
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