My communication skills are as bad as my handwriting is.
But my kisses are as good as my intentions, so you can go ahead and place your smile onto my lips.
Too often the pronunciation of your name is mistaken for Keanu Reeves’ character in The Matrix.
I dug my own grave right after the masquerade, but when you came along, I swear everything had changed.
I tossed the shovel to the ground and began searching for better days in a city where we both wanted to safe and sound.
We shared our first kiss over pizza, a bottle of red wine and sporadic bursts of love and laughter.
I may have lost your love, but I haven’t lost all the wonderful words I still have to write about love.
In the beginning, I always hoped that this love would have a happy ending.
But it only ended in me writing poems about how we both lost out on this wonderful love.

15 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Let’s vibe out and listen to our favourite songs by Drake and reminisce about the love that we’ll never get back.
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
Was I not deserving of the kind of love and happiness that I had consistently given to you?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
When my blue skies fade to grey, I listen to songs by The Weeknd and reminisce about you every single day.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and receive closure from you.
Now I spend my days listening to sad songs while reminiscing about the love that I’ll never get back.
These words are proof that I’m still recovering from the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

14 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You're walking out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
I wonder if he knows that you cheated and how you left me defeated.
When my days get dark that is usually when I have my brightest ideas.
I’m gradually battling depression and tackling the fears I’ve had for years.
I’m hurting and I know that I’m not perfect, but the weight of all these words has become a burden.
I've been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I've been feeling pain while trying to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?

I’m sorry that I was never a good enough lover for you.
You walked out on me to be a good woman for someone else.
Now I’m here whispering to the ghosts that haunt me in my dreams.
Love is blind but clearly that is something that everyone cannot see.
Somewhere in my heart there’s a void, a void that I keep trying to avoid.
I wish that you receive everything that I couldn’t give to you, there’s so much of myself that I could sacrifice.

13 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine, you belong to someone else.
I assumed you’d have good intentions for me but that was my mistake.
I assumed; how reckless of me to have assumed the most positive of things.
I’m losing you but you aren’t even mine to love yet you’re always on my mind.
But how lost do I have to be in order for you to come and find me and love me wholeheartedly?
I wish people would never ask about my love life because it seems like I could never love or be loved right.
I need peace of mind before my mind ends up in pieces because I can no longer stand being alone.
I should’ve just left you alone; I shouldn’t have turned your heart into a home.
I looked for love in all the wrong places and fell in love with all the wrong faces.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, you could possibly be mine to love wholeheartedly.
I finally understand it now; I’m a hopeless romantic who will always insist on remaining hopeful.

12 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I just wanted to create a few unforgettable memories.
Every night we mixed *****, love, ***, **** and Hennessy.
After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and senseless **** you put me through.
I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I wish you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.

After all this time, I do not know why I am still longing for you.
Even after all the painful and stressful **** you put me through.
I remember you from your beautiful brown eyes down to the empty promises you cursed me with.
I was a lost boy in my youth and I spent most of my precious time blowing smoke in my room.
I hope you have found a way to finally stop smoking cigarettes and drinking ***** like there’s a message in the bottle.
I hope you have finally found peace, love and happiness in this wonderful city called Pretoria.
Everyone in your life changed but I didn’t, I guess you were wrong about me.
It’s June now so while you find comfort in your complacency just know that I’ll be leaving soon.

11 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

We made passionate love during that one autumn night in Pretoria.
Our relationship had its flaws but we always got high off the euphoria.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
It was a Friday night on April 1st, I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.
You may have forgotten me ever since I’ve been away but I waited on you for too many days since February.
Why did you settle for a takeaway when you knew you would’ve had the world on a silver platter?
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve someone better.
But where is this “better” that you constantly spoke about days before you broke up with me?
I cannot seem to find it; I even went back to Hatfield several months ago to see if I had missed something.
I have been MIA on love ever since you’ve been away; I waited on you for too many days since February.
Or maybe it was May, but you don’t care and I don’t remember because maybe it doesn’t matter anyway.
Or anymore and lately I’ve been zoning out to Paramore and getting high off paper planes than ever before.
Somehow the best part of me was always you, but you’re gone now and I’m always feeling blue.
I guess I was a fool for falling for you and believing all you said was true.

10 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You and I are in the same space, but we live in different galaxies.
That’s why we could never get along for extensive periods of time.
After several glasses of wine, I realised that you talk more than I do.
Maybe sometimes pain hurts more when we always choose to ignore it.
I can love you better than him; from eight until late he always calls his ex-girlfriend Kim.
I wonder what you get up to when he’s not there; I wonder what you really know about him.
I never knew that my loving heart could get played like harps and violins do.
The symphony is exquisite, but the pain and the heartbreak are obviously not.
I wonder what you know about everything happening around you while you wander away from me.
I gave you exclusive views to breathtaking galaxies, but you still needed more space like the astronaut lady.
I have fallen in love with my own solitude, but loneliness has taken over every single part of my life.
I’m scared to see who or what I have left behind; these Hatfield streets have become so nostalgic.

9 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Find me somewhere between old and cliché Tumblr poems and filtered Instagram pictures.
It was just yesterday when we were worlds apart when your ex-boyfriend broke your loving heart.
You eventually began smoking again and drank wine and ***** like there was a message in the bottle.
But I can’t judge you for all the things that you did because I was right there by your side comforting you.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to find peace of mind and get some closure from you.
All this time I have been hoarding the memories we made like there is a black hole I’m trying to fill.
I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough in the eyes of the people who never appreciated my love.
Within your circle of friends someone knew that you were falling in love with someone new.
But you kept me waiting all this time just so you could let me down like gravity.
I should have realised this a long time ago that pain hurts more when you choose to ignore it.
If only it was so easy to let you go then I would’ve done that a long time ago.
I wanted you to fill my emptiness with requited love but I realised that you were a void too.

8 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Love, will you still be able to love me unconditionally tomorrow?
I hope you’ll still love me when my heart has been burdened by sorrow.
I have love in my heart, milk in my cereal and honey in my cup of Rooibos tea.
But my friends know I prefer a strong cup of coffee that’s as warm as the love and happiness that I provide.
How do I keep it all together when everyone around me is falling apart because of an overflow of pride?
I have constantly fallen in love with my solitude but loneliness has taken over every single part of me.
How do I keep it all together when everything around me is falling apart?
A wise woman once told me that the only thing that matters is the love in my mind and the logic in my heart.

7 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I turned my pain into poetry and I haven’t looked back ever since.
I’m heavily flawed and heavily guarded but I still remain heavenly sent.
Give me a glass of lemon and gin, unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust, so where should we begin?
As the sun sets on the horizon of my dreams, I realise that reality is not as beautiful as it seems.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.
I wish people would never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Give me a muse, a bottle of exquisite wine accompanied with unforgettable memories and a lot of sin.
But I’m searching for more than just a new lust and a temporary lover so where should we begin?
Most of my friends are getting engaged, having beautiful kids, graduating or just chasing dreams.
The orchestra of my heart has somehow been playing out of tune since the beginning of June.

6 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I’ve been picturing skies and oceans that are Van Gogh blue with every hue.
I have frequently felt warm winds on my skin while listening to Solána Rowe.
Moments filled with love, pain, depression and heartbreak are all I know.
That black dress keeps accentuating your curves every time I look around your way and admire your figure.
We must’ve met in the past life because that’s probably why I want to love you past life.
So many warm autumn afternoons have come and gone but I still have a desire to feel your love once again.
Love may slip from your lips and drip down your chin but I never want our beautiful melody to become staccato.
Those blue jeans keep accentuating your curves every time I look around your way and admire your figure.
On autumn afternoons like these, I have felt warm winds on my skin while thinking about you.
I’ve been picturing skies and oceans that are Van Gogh blue with every hue.
I have frequently felt warm winds on my skin while listening to Solána Rowe.
Moments filled with love, pain, depression and heartbreak are all I know.

5 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

She’s wrapped up in white sheets and peaceful dreams.
She gets head on most mornings before she gets out of bed.
There’s love in her heart, milk in her cereal and honey in her tea.
I want to hold her in my arms until she forgets what pain feels like.
I want to be in her heart, on her mind, body and on her brown skin.
Thick thighs, beautiful smile and brown eyes – she is my favourite sin.
A wise lady once told me that heaven is found between a woman’s thighs.
I want to hold her in my arms until she remembers what happiness feels like.
Love may slip from her lips and drip down her chin but I never want our beautiful melody to become staccato.
She has made me question if all the women I have been with before were worthy of my love, time and effort.
She’s a representation of all the beautiful music Sade has created and she’s more than the sweetest taboo to me.
On most days she makes me forget about being the king of sorrow when I eventually stop crying everyone’s tears.
The traces of her lips on my skin reach deep inside my soul and transform an abandoned house into a loving home.

4 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I had you constantly coming down a few minutes after breaking down.
In the presence of clumsy hands, fragile hearts break like porcelain does.
It is summer time somewhere but it is currently autumn right here in Pretoria.
Sometimes I wish that you’d never ask about my love life because I could never love or be loved right.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
You remind me of the month of August, you always remind me of the calmness of the colour blue.
Like a painter admiring the presence of his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
Love is the highest vibration and that’s why I always feel tremors every time I step out of my comfort zone.
We cannot survive in the world with all these secrets that we have if all that we have is a lie.
Love is the result of all the vibrations of tremors that shook a long time ago.

3 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

Once you let me in, can I place my lips on your brown skin, babe?
Feel the autumn breeze on your skin and realise that true love lies within.
I cannot give you the world, but I could pour you a glass of my favourite bottle of red wine.
These conversations between you and I could start feeling mellow with every glass of Merlot.
I remember the first day I saw you and before I could even say a word, you had me at “Hello”.
Lay your feet on warm wooden floors and allow me to show you why you’re the one that I adore.
I need peace of mind before my mind ends up in pieces because I can no longer stand being alone.
As of late, these conversations are starting to feel a lot more like interviews.
So dive into the depths of my heart and mind and get a glimpse of my inner views.

2 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

I saw you, without all the things that the media had convinced every girl to have just so she can look and feel beautiful.
You may not love poetry but I love how you always become a poem for me.
You are simply amazing; the pulchritude in your presence has liberated me.
Through nights of pain I found love and through love I managed to find myself.
I found myself yearning to appreciate you even more than the day before.
Curves, edges and perfect imperfections – you possess an intriguing allure.
My feelings are genuine so please disregard what you hear in the corridors.
I want to hold you in my arms until you remember what happiness feels like.
Lay your feet on warm concrete floors while my hands gradually explore every single contour.
I am obsessed with the curves of your lips and how gently they are always able to hold my smile.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of your aura.
Your eyes change colour when you smile and I can see everything especially the reflection of your love.
So many cold autumn nights have come and gone but I still have a desire to feel your warmth once again.
I saw you, without all the things that the media had convinced every woman to have just so she can look and feel beautiful.

1 | Heartbreak in Hatfield

You left me hanging like Da Vinci’s paintings on the walls of the Louvre.
But I could never manage to transform my heartbreak into a masterpiece.
I need good wine, good friends and music by Solange, Emeli Sandé and Floetry.
I need to know that love and freedom are in my life even when there’s pain and heartbreak in my eyes.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.
Happiness is an elusive feeling and I have been numb to it for some time now.
You know how depression, loneliness and heartbreak fit me well like a glove.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
I took the bus from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to see you every Wednesday morning.
Every Wednesday morning, I was mourning the deaths of loved ones by celebrating the gift of life.
Too many days since February, I’ve been waiting for you to come and find me.
No amount of morphine could ever ease my pain, I am just trying to feel and find love again.
I took an Uber from the CBD all the way to Hatfield just to free my mind and get some loving from you.
Let’s listen to our favourite songs while we reminisce about the love and happiness that we’ll never get back.

I’ll be gone by the time you read this, I loved you but you couldn’t see it.
Break my heart and slowly slit my wrists before this love ever tries to **** me.
This is the part where the story begins or maybe where the beginning ends.
We traded in our lives for religion, this is a sinner’s redemption and you’ve been flying kites like Amir.
Did I not deserve the kind of love and happiness that I have been consistently writing about?
I yearn for a reality worth dreaming about, but lately my heart has been paralysed by doubt.
Time is expensive like a Richard Mille watch but every minute I spent with you was worth it.
It hurts me to say, that no matter what you say or do, I’ll always be by your side pulling you through.
I’ve been feeling hollow, I’ve been feeling pain while trying to let go of memories of the past.
I’ve realised that reality is not as beautiful as it seems as soon as the sun set on the horizon of my dreams.
You settled for a takeaway when you could’ve had the world on a silver platter.
Now that you’ve left, I realised how you were right when you said that I deserve better.
But I’m uncertain of how to feel about the heartbreak I once felt a while ago in Hatfield.

I want to hold her in my arms until she forgets what loneliness feels like.
I want to hold her heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
The traces of my lips on her skin reach deep inside her soul and transform an abandoned house into a loving home.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of her aura.
It doesn’t matter which book I’m reading; her body will always be the scripture that my hands believe in.
I found myself longing to love and appreciate her with the kind of passion she’s never felt before.
Loving her is like looking at a shattered mirror and clearly seeing every bit of the broken reflection.
The weather hasn’t been the same ever since the sun decided to impersonate the warmth of her aura.
It doesn’t matter which book I’ll be reading; her love will always be the scripture that my heart believes in.
I want to hold her in my arms until she remembers what happiness feels like.

I’ve been MIA since you’ve been away; I keep walking around with my head in the clouds and getting high off paper planes.
Give me a pen and a notepad and allow me to document all the unforgettable memories we should’ve shared.
All the memories we should’ve shared never came to fruition because half the time you hardly cared.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
You had me under the impression that you actually gave a **** about me.
You gave me the impression that you cared about what we shared, but half the time you were never there.
I’ve been feeling hollow like the men T.S. Eliot wrote about, I’ve been feeling pain just to hold on.
But how long can I keep holding on when all this pain and depression is gradually affecting me?
How long can I keep holding on when all this pain becomes an indication of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
All the memories we should’ve created never came to fruition because half the time you were never there.
It has been a while since I’ve heard from you, too many days since February.
Too many days since I’ve been patiently waiting so I had to give up eventually.
How long can I keep holding on when all this depression becomes a reflection of everything that’s bound to go wrong?
I keep walking around Pretoria with my head in the clouds while getting high off paper planes with my feet on the ground.

Jen, you worry too much about things beyond our control, but you need to know that we are going to be okay.
Your mind is as breathtaking as views from Table Mountain and your love is as beautiful as the Sistine Chapel.
Let’s vibe out and listen to Malibu by Anderson .Paak while reminiscing about the love that we’ll never get back.
I took six shots of Jägermeister, and apparently, I drank more but that’s the only part that I can remember.
It’s a new year and I’m sitting here listening to music while drinking Heineken and reminiscing about December.
I have been sharpening the edges of my pen to write about blunt memories.
Let’s vibe out and listen to Malibu by Anderson .Paak while reminiscing about the love that we’ll never get back.
We’ll never get back together but I can’t keep on losing you over complications that I’m unfamiliar with.
We must’ve met in the past life because that’s probably why I want to love you past life.

Jen, you worry way too much about the future that you tend to forget to live in the moment.
So every minute that passes by is a moment that you want to capture and post on Instagram and Facebook.
But I can’t judge you because sometimes I get lost in the whirlwind of vivid pixels and instant gratification.
I have come to accept that love is a part of me even when it’s apart from me.
Jen, you worry too much about things beyond our control, but you need to know that we’re going to be okay.

I honestly can’t tell you how I feel if I haven’t fully internalised my emotions.
My ex-girlfriend used to tell me that showing vulnerability is a weakness.
Even when we were both falling in love, she always kept her distance.
For a good reason that never sat well with me, that’s why we let each other down like gravity.
I’ve been repeatedly questioning myself for over some time now, why am I lacking longevity?
We could never rewrite our history because even if I gave her the galaxy, she would still need more space.
My Buzz Lightyear heart was willing to love her to infinity and beyond.
This is pain and poetry, this is me drowning in depression and loneliness.
This is me admitting that I am an emotional wreck, my heart is in a mess.
I’ve been concerned about caring for everyone that I lost touch with loving myself wholeheartedly.
I’ve been concerned about caring for everyone that they gradually stopped checking up on me.
So, from this point onwards, know that all these poems will no longer be written the same.
These words cannot explain the tidal waves of mystery I always find myself drowning in.
These waves of depression drown me in complete silence, so even if I cried for help you wouldn’t be able to hear me.
It’s unfortunate that even if I cried for help you wouldn’t be able to save me.

How far can we get moving closer to our dreams without living in regret?
Have another sip of that glass of red wine then slowly take a deep breath.
When people ask, tell them that you found love in the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms.
When people ask, let them know that you found love in a place that was previously deemed as hopeless.
Let them know that you found love in the hands and heart of a poet who pledged to spend the rest of his days as your muse.
It’s hard enough finding love in your twenties yet you managed to find the balance and stick to your decision.
Haven’t had the pleasure to kiss you yet, but somehow, I have the taste of your smile lingering on the tip of my tongue.
You’ve made me fall for the poetry of purple blooms and now I can no longer spend spring without you.
Like a painter admiring his exquisite muse, I can’t stop looking at every colour of you.
How many of these poems will I manage to keep writing without driving my loving heart crazy?
The answer to that question is something that I do not know yet, but I do know that my heart beats for you.
Let me tell you more about my version of events while we listen to Emeli Sandé on any given Sunday.
Haven’t had the pleasure to kiss you yet, but somehow, I have the taste of your smile lingering on the tip of my tongue.
I’ll be patiently waiting for you on Jacaranda Avenue so that we can both make our dreams come true.

31 | 31 Poems for August 2017

There’s something exquisite about your smile, your brown eyes have got me hypnotised, and your heart is a gold mine.
I’m addicted to everything you say and do, so be my poet and I’ll be your muse.
We’ll figure out everything else once we’ve found something to do between our sporadic bursts of laughter.
Let me comfort you with soulful conversations accompanied by several bottles of red wine.
We could vibe out and listen to James Blake, and you could tell me about the days when you couldn’t see the colour in anything.
I’m no stranger to the waves of the ocean, so I eventually want to get lost in the depths of you.
You are a picturesque South African city worth exploring even when tourists no longer come to visit.
Their dollars, euros, pounds, nairas and rupees may run dry but my love for you will keep overflowing.
I could write poetry and love letters on your skin but my handwriting is not as beautiful as my words are.
I’ll be your poet in a world that’s still acquainting itself with all the writers of exquisite African literature.
In the Supreme Court of your love, people have told you untruths while under oath – I think the law calls it perjury.
We could vibe out and listen to James Blake, and you could teach me how you see the colour in everything.
I want to get lost in an endless field of sunflowers while basking in the warmth of your presence.

30 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I need coffee and poetry and music by Solange, Emeli Sandé and Floetry.
I need love and freedom, I need to know that God is in my life even when there’s pain in my eyes.
Our love and chemistry was beautifully overwhelming but I never wanted you to say goodbye.
You left without any warning, you left and I need to know the reason why while I keep listening to Cranes in the Sky.
I tried to drink it away but every time I did, I woke up the next day feeling intensely inebriated.
I have cried myself to sleep on days when the world was dancing to the rhythm of my melancholic heartbeat.
I have fallen in love with my own solitude, but lately loneliness has taken over every single part of me.
You still have my heart beating in rhythms that are foreign to my existence.
I find it useless spending all this time apart while we keep admiring each other from a distance.
I have been waiting for you to help me get rid of this miserable and lonely life of mine.

29 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Get me a bottle of ***** and a glass of Hennessy.
Give me love and I will provide unforgettable memories.
I wouldn’t readily admit this, but you’re my love and you’re my light.
God always hears our prayers so I know that we are going to be alright.
You will never lose me to the wind no matter how hard it decides to blow.
I had given up on love and happiness before you walked into my lonely life.
From a distant stranger to an unforgettable muse all the way through to sharing several glasses of wine with you.
I’m banking on you to not withdraw from the love we have both invested in.
When people ask, let them know you found love in the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms.
I want to dive into the ocean of your love until I’m soaking wet with happiness.
Until I am drowning in the depths of your love with no need of being rescued.
Love and liberty is all I need from you until our grey skies go back to being blue.
But I could never spend the rest of my life without someone as amazing as you.

28 | 31 Poems for August 2017

My sneakers’ shoelaces are as tangled up as the words I tried to say to you.
The words I tried to say when you were slowly slipping away from my grasp.
I surprisingly stuttered when I tried to tempestuously tell you how I felt.
Now I’m wondering what to do or what’s going to happen next.
I’ll just sit here going crazy and patiently wait for your call or text.
My sneakers’ shoelaces are as tangled up as the words I tried to say to you.
So, don’t be too surprised when I don’t respond when you ask, if you can hang out with me.
However, I still want to read all the love letters your lips and hands are yet to write on my skin.
It is spring now but you have the presence of summer clouds and I have been staring at the sky ever since you left.

27 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Her eyes are the same colour as her brown skin; you should see the world through her pupils.
Often at times she had no need to say anything because through her eyes you could see a different perspective of the world.
Her eyes eloquently spoke a language that was foreign to anyone who hadn’t experienced the vibe of South African townships.
But you could always understand her because those eyes were filled with hope, love and happiness.
The wisdom she constantly utters every single day may often remain unheard.
But the beauty of God’s grandeur will never go unnoticed; you can see it in her hazel-brown eyes.
You should see the world through her pupils; her eyes are the same colour as her brown skin.
I see the sunflowers in her eyes, the love that radiates from her aura is drawn from within.

26 | 31 Poems for August 2017

These pictures sharpen the edges of blunt memories.
All I ever wanted was for you to feel my words like Braille.
But somehow you were blinded by the sight of someone else’s love.
All I ever wanted was to be the poem written on the pages of your soul.
I constantly keep reminiscing about the days when I used to feel whole.
Whenever I’m feeling low, I get high off the thought of blunt memories.
I need love and freedom – I need to let you and all our memories go.
Our love is as deep as the ocean but I can no longer go with the flow.
I may never find a reality worth dreaming about if my heart is filled with doubt.
All I have left are these pictures of you that slowly sharpen the edges of our blunt memories.
If your blunt ever lasts longer than our conversations then I hope you’ll get high off the thought of you and me.

25 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
I lost my smile and my confidence, everything changed and I never looked at things the same.
Sometimes I ask myself if I’m really chasing dreams or just chasing heartbreak.
Prescriptions changed but no amount of morphine could ever ease the pain.
Even though it may seem insane, I will always take pride in the scars I gain.
Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
The worst thing about it all is that the guy I was compared to wasn’t even half my standard.
There were certain things that we both didn’t mean to say, but words were uttered anyway.
My hyperhidrosis is evident but in all honesty, I try not to sweat the small stuff.
Take me back to the day when the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
Sometimes I ask myself if I’m really chasing dreams or just chasing heartbreak.
There is so much pain and disappointment that my fragile heart can take.
This whole thing hurts but I try my best not to let all my emotions show.

24 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Nothing lasts forever, and that we both knew.
Now we’ve become strangers with memories.
We were bound together by our mutual gravity.
But nothing lasts forever, even the stars die eventually.
It’s hard to proceed and progress with the burden of our stress.
Please sit beside me in silence, I just need to know that you’re here.
I’ve been dreaming with my eyes open ever since the day I met you.
It was your presence that held me together as my world fell apart.
I wonder how long I’ll keep walking around with this broken heart.
Our love became a poem that we patiently wrote without words.
Our peers have fallen in love with the habit of not falling in love.
I miss the days when we used to speak French without saying a word.
I keep doing this thing wrong and putting myself in places that I don’t belong.
Another night with ***** in my cup accompanied by the lyrics of a Drake song.
So, cry if you need to because it’s hard to proceed and progress with so much heartbreak and stress.
Touch if you need to and I’ll stay to hold you because you need to know I’m still here.
Talk if you need to because the silence between us is destroying the bond that we share.

23 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I thought that I’d find closure after writing poetry about you.
But every time I finish writing, I find new ways of missing you.
I’ll try calling you or you could hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.
I cannot stand these people when they are all cold and bitter.
You should know that I’m done chasing trouble and heartbreak.
Got detours and delays, I’m still trying to rectify my previous mistake.
I could’ve handled it better, but right now the past does not really matter.
You settled for a takeaway when you could’ve had the world on a silver platter.
So, let's just keep ignoring each other, and pretend that each of us does not exist because ignorance is bliss.
Do not call me when you can text me, matter of fact, don’t ever call me again.
You only remember me and the intensity of my love and affection whenever you are feeling lonely.

22 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than my favourite rapper.
So, the heartache gradually dissipates with every glass taken and the smile on my face inevitably grabs the attention of a stranger.
Some nights it feels like my days are numbered like a calendar, like the pages of my favourite book.
But the problem about this story is that there is no ******, the protagonist dies in the middle of the story.
It’s funny how the moments when I was almost left for dead are the moments when I felt most alive.
I had given up on finding happiness and love before you walked into my life.
From a distant stranger to an unforgettable muse all the way through to sharing a glass of wine with you.
When nothing else in the world makes sense somehow you always do.
Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than my favourite rapper so pour me another glass.
Pour me another glass because time spent in your presence is always filled with happiness, love and laughter.
Some nights are the hardest but this bottle of wine flows better than anything you ever thought it would.

21 | 31 Poems for August 2017

We have both grown up and in that process, we grew apart.
You weren’t emotionally prepared when I said that I love you.
You dismissed my feelings so cold and quickly, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your plans anyway?
I’ve been writing melancholic poetry and hoarding unforgettable memories.
I question everyone that does not pledge their allegiance to love and loyalty.
I have been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
Music that I listen to reminds me of something distant that we used to be.
I should have given you every single part of me when I still had the chance.
I finally understand that it’s too late for me to be apologising for my mistakes.
Apart from attempting to become lovers, we were good friends and now we don’t talk anymore.
It’s such a shame, not even a simple hello could ever suffice, now tell me who’s to blame?
Is it me for becoming emotionally distant or you for giving up too easily on something worth fighting for?
I’ve been looking at your pictures since you left and I can’t seem to delete them from my phone.
When you dismissed my feelings for you, I questioned whether you were planning to stay.
In hindsight, it’s obvious that you were destined to leave, what were your intentions anyway?
We’ve become strangers with memories, it’s obvious that you will never love me like you used to.

20 | 31 Poems for August 2017

You are what I never thought you were and became what I never thought you’d be.
You’ve cheated on every test that love gave you but somehow, I forgave you.
I stopped trying to mend a broken person the day I realised that I was one.
My hands smell like petroleum from all the bridges that I’ve been burning.
I have humbly grown from every word and poem I wrote back when you and I hardly spoke.
This love is a battlefield and it was foolish of me to be losing limbs for someone who wouldn’t go to war for me.
Getting played like a grand piano did not guarantee me the chance of listening to symphonies.
I gave you exclusive views to breathtaking galaxies, but somehow you still needed more space.
If writing about you ever drives me crazy then make sure that my straitjacket comes in blue.
I’ve been experiencing Sunday blues and I haven’t seen much of you, so tell me now, where are you?

19 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I can never make you love me no matter what I say or do.
Disappointments seem to be the foundation of my progress.
I’m gradually beginning to realise that success is a slow process.
I dislike how you tend to forget about me during some nights when you’re drinking wine.
I gave you honesty and honestly speaking, going back-and-forth with you is exhausting me.
Over the years, our friendship has been tainted by rumours that everyone knows except for us.
There may have been some chemistry between us that we both chose to blatantly ignore.
I wrote many of my poems in Braille for the kind of love I was desperately longing to feel from you.
I’m still falling for you, and my words are revealing so that’s why you’ll know that this poem is about you.
I find it hard walking away from a woman whose arms I have always wanted to run into.
What should I do now with the love that I have always wanted to give to you?
All I’m asking for is you, and I can’t bear the thought of someone else being next to you.
I’m jealous and I know that I will probably be the last one to ever admit it.
I’m a lover without a lover but never loveless, so what am I supposed to do?

18 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Love is not a mystery; it’s every beautiful thing that I ever wanted it to be.
Love is the colour of you, love is beautiful with all its flaws and complexities.
I’ve been enslaved by my own emotions and you were always there to liberate me and provide devotion.
Love is when I still write about you in hopes that one day you’ll read all these words and hopefully find your way back to me.
Love looks like her in the evening after a long day when all she wants is a warm bath and peaceful sleep.
Could I ever be blessed with the chance of having my heart beating inside her chest again?
I still want to read all the love letters her lips and hands are yet to write so effortlessly on my skin.
I’ve cried myself to sleep on days when the world was dancing to the rhythm of my heartbeat.
Love has always taught me that I cannot continue loving you from a distance.
Home is where the heart is and I never for a second wanted you to leave.
You still have my heart beating in rhythms that are foreign to my existence.
Is it better spending all this time apart while admiring each other from a distance?
Love is praying every single night to God and hoping that He sends you back into these loving arms.
Love looks like her in the morning when she wakes up looking all beautiful and carefree – you’d swear she had eight hours of sleep.
I’ve been enslaved by my own emotions and with love I have conquered everything that the world said I would not.
Love is hoping that you find happiness and love is also having you sharing that happiness with me.
Love is not a mystery; it’s every beautiful thing that I ever wanted it to be.

17 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Let me whisper those sweet words that held together the shattering glass you think you’ve become.
I know that through their utterance you will finally feel your heart beating to the rhythm of our love.
I want our long late-night conversations and phone calls to come to life again.
Because I miss hearing your voice on Wednesday afternoons and the joy in your sporadic bursts of laughter.
Sometimes you feel as if you’re running away from the constant pang of unworthiness that your heartbeat has become.
The world has made you feel like an abandoned church, but in my eyes, you’ll always be a cathedral.
I just wish you’d stop running away from the fear of finding something so genuine and just run into my arms.
I want the chance to breathe love down your spine; I want to be with you until the love runs out.
In a world ravaged by cold wars, our love and happiness is what we should be constantly fighting for.
Life will bend and stretch the both of us into painful shapes, but I know that we will eventually be okay.
During cold winter nights and warm summer mornings, I long to have the presence of your body next to me.
I know that we didn’t come this far, to only come this far.

16 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Have you ever met someone whose smile could make sunflowers grow?
She has an affinity for hip-hop music and any good pair of clean sneakers.
You should hear the sound of her laughter on a warm Wednesday morning.
I swear I’m intrigued and obsessed with the little things about her that the world fails to appreciate.
Her fingers write the most alluring words on the blank pages of my heart.
Constantly reflecting beauty as she speaks, she is simply a paragon of art.
She knows that I’m a hopeless romantic who insists on remaining hopeful.
In the morning, she smells like strong black coffee, cocoa butter and good intentions.
I still want to hold her heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
I think I finally understand it now, I’m a hopeless romantic who insists on remaining hopeful.
I’d love to feel my heart beating to the rhythms that are foreign to my existence when I’m sitting next to her.

15 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Listen, if I’m willing to talk to you, will you listen like you always do?
It has been quite hard for me to acknowledge the fact that we’re through.
Saw a few of your pictures on Instagram and Facebook, I’m glad to see that you’ve finally found someone new.
I wish nothing but love and happiness for the both of you, I really do.
At the end of the day, I’m so glad that I got the chance to have met you.
There’s this girl who has made me realise that maybe I don’t have to die to get to heaven.
Her beautiful cocoa butter skin proves that her complexion is truly a blessing.
It doesn’t matter which book I’m reading; her love is the scripture that my heart believes in.
She is simply a poem with feet, her soul is well-versed in love so eventually I asked her to walk with me.
It has been quite hard for you to acknowledge the fact that we’re through.
You’ve commented on my pictures on Instagram and Facebook, you’re glad to see that I’ve finally found someone new.
I’d tell you more about her and maybe show you what she means to me, but that’s a poem for another day.
I hope the person that you’re currently with has made you believe in the essence of true love again.
Because you deserve something better than lonely nights saturated with pain.
I’m happy for the both us, glad that we’ve managed to find happiness again.
We can’t change what happened in the past, we were teenagers back then.

14 | 31 Poems for August 2017

All you can hope for is someone who will pray with you, someone who will pray for you.
I’ve got you covered like warm blankets during cold winter nights.
I’ve got you covered and not like those dodgy life insurance policies.
Everything is complicated and my feelings are hardly reciprocated.
But everything is different when it comes to you and what you do.
It’s because of your love I get to see myself from a different view.
So, tell me that I’ll be whole again, tell me that I’ll be yours again.
What we share is beautiful so love, tell me that this time we’ll never end.
Show me who you are again, hold my hand and guide me through the pain.
Love me across beautiful South African cities and never let me go again.
All that I can hope for is someone who will pray with me, someone who will pray for me.
You’ve made me question if all the women I’ve loved before were worthy of my love, time and effort.
Nothing has been the same ever since you came and now you’ve made me question a lot of things lately.

13 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I wrote many of my poems in Braille for the kind of love I was desperately longing to feel.
I’m still catching feelings; my words are revealing and that’s why you’ll know that this poem is about you.
Let me tell you about my version of events while we listen to Emeli Sandé on any given Sunday.
For what it’s worth, I was only trying to make things work, but I got high on love during my hiatus.
I’ve had to learn to love you in silence and as if that wasn’t enough, I’ve had to learn to love you from a distance.
I know you didn’t give me permission to, but I already started talking to God about you.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, I could possibly be your one and only valentine.
I think I finally understand it now, I’m a hopeless romantic who insists on remaining hopeful.
Let me tell you about my version of events while we listen to Emeli Sandé on any given Sunday.

12 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I would’ve never been included in any of your pictures – you’d always find a way to crop me out.
I’ve had enough of this digital love, a love that’s constantly controlled by social media standards and faulty algorithms.
We made memories that not even Facebook can remember and captured moments that can’t be found on Instagram.
I would go back to being yours in a heartbeat just to hear the sound of my heart beat.
Just to hear my heart beating to the rhythms that are foreign to my existence.
Everyone knows that I’m a lover without a lover but never loveless.
I’m a heartbroken lover that’s wondering how to fix my heart’s mess.
I want to go back to the day when we first fell in love with one another.
I pray that there’s a chance that we’ll both manage to work it out someday.
I pray that all my doubts, fears and insecurities don’t ever prey on me.
As of late, our conversations are starting to feel a lot more like interviews.
Dive into the depths of my heart and mind and get a glimpse of my inner views.

11 | 31 Poems for August 2017

For some odd reason, I am still sitting here in my bedroom writing about you.
Your heartbeat reminds me of the timeless tune of my favourite melody.
Loving you is like looking at a shattered mirror, and clearly seeing every bit of the broken reflection.
The wind said something about you today, something that blew me away.
I cannot remember any of the words though because I was too busy thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you because every part of your existence is beautiful.
Your hazel-brown eyes are a beautiful reminder that God will not forget to look for me whenever I feel lost in the world.
I have spent countless hours memorising the curves of your smile and the lines on your skin.
Including the happiness and joy in the sound of your voice and all the beauty that lies within.
For some odd reason, I am still sitting here in my bedroom writing about you.
How do I write something so beautiful that’s bound to blow you away without having it sound like another poetic cliché?
Loving you is like looking at a shattered mirror, and clearly seeing every bit of my broken reflection.
My words will continue embracing all that I have discovered in myself because of you.
Within your sporadic bursts of laughter, I always find the freedom I had lost.
I will continue writing about you in ink, so that my notepad can finally feel the permanence of your presence in my poetry.
The spaces between my words will always be your place of refuge.
My poetry will continue writing about all that I have discovered in myself because of you.
I will continue to sit here in my bedroom and effortlessly write about you.
The world may read the pages of my soul, but my poetry will always belong to you.

10 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I could feel the love and not the distance.
I don’t want to be reminiscing about you right now.
You burn me again like my favourite bottle of Irish whiskey.
These wounds leave blood stains on my white canvas sneakers.
You could feel the distance and not the love – that’s the difference.
Everything is complicated and my feelings are hardly reciprocated.
Why should I try to win you over again when I know that I’ve lost anyway?
But the truth is, it wasn’t even about winning; maybe I overlooked several warning signs in the beginning.
Bullets pierced through my body as you slowly stole my soul away from me.
Before I left you alone, I placed an infinite number of kisses on your collarbone.
Heartbreak has taught me that it’s best to back away and leave love alone.
However, I still want to read all the love letters your hands are yet to write so effortlessly on my skin.
I knew that someday my love wouldn’t be good enough for you and that somehow, you’d find a way to disappear.
I could feel the love and not the distance, and maybe that’s one of the reasons why I still need you here.

9 | 31 Poems for August 2017

When my blue skies have turned grey, I listen to that one Emeli Sandé song and reminisce about you every single day.
The moment you opened your eyes, I was right there by your side and my love for you comes as no surprise.
But I knew that someday my love wouldn’t be good enough for you and that somehow, you’d find a way to disappear.
I hope you’ve found a way to finally stop smoking cigarettes and drinking ***** like there’s a message in the bottle.
Love, I wish you’d be more open about your feelings because bottling everything in is detrimental.
I still write about you in hopes that one day you’ll read all these words and hopefully find your way back to me.
I still miss the sweet scent of your presence on the white duvet covers and cotton sheets of my memory.
Love is blind and that I already know, but I had never pictured writing these words without you.
Maybe you were right when you said that my love is as bad as my handwriting is – maybe I should’ve seen it coming.
Your aura always took me to peaceful picturesque places that I had only seen in my dreams.
I still want to hold your heart like the lonely autumn trees hold the fragility of clinging leaves.
But I knew that someday my love wouldn’t be good enough for you and that somehow, you’d find a way to disappear.

8 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I should stop trying to hold on to something that I need to let go of.
I have no logical explanations about how the heart wants what it wants.
All I know is that your love is all that my heart treasures and knows.
That’s probably the main reason why I cannot let these memories go.
No matter what people say, you will always remain beautiful to me.
Back when we were together, I always thought you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.
Whenever you need arms to run into, just know that I’ve got you.
I’ve been reminiscing about the past and all the time that we wasted.
I guess it is true – time gradually blunts the edges of sharp memories.
Hope you’ve found a way to slow down your intake of ***** and Hennessy.
Whenever you need a shoulder to cry on, just know that I’ve got you.
For some odd reason, I always thought that you’d always be mine.
I never really knew how to handle this beautiful thing called love.
So, I always thought that you would be able to show me how.

7 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I write to write yet somehow the emptiness remains.
Because at the end of the day, words are just empty air.
Because at the end of today, you will no longer be there.
You will no longer be there to do all the things we used to do.
How dare you tell me that all of this is tougher for you?
Like I didn’t feel all the pain and heartbreak you put me through.
Words are unnecessary because these battle scars tell their own story.
Love no longer circulates the room – you can feel it in the air.
By the way you breathe and how you stand still when you stare.
I clearly don’t need to be alone; I just need to be whole.
I need to feel the fire being re-ignited in the depths of my soul.
During my darkest nights, I manage to see the light much clearer.
I write to write yet somehow the emptiness remains.
Because at the end of the day, words are just empty air.
Because at the end of today, you will no longer be there.

6 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I have a yearning to be the poem that keeps writing itself on people’s hearts.
The yearning for this love to be intensified by the beauty of your presence.
You’re the one I can always pour myself into until you’re overflowing with love.
The buzz that you always feel when you’re with me could last for light-years.
So, this is more than just another Toy Story, enjoy our love while you laugh and bask in all its glory.
Love is blind and that I know already, but I cannot continue writing these words without you.
I was made for loving you so grant me peace of mind before I begin to lose a piece of mine.
The yearning to be left alone with my thoughts and read all the books I’ve recently bought.
I still find myself sitting at my desk trying to write poetry about the past demons that I’ve fought.
Those demons questioned the value of their existence on the day I was embraced by your love.
I have a yearning to be the poem that keeps writing itself on people’s hearts.

5 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’ve become well-acquainted with these streets – from University Road all the way down to Park Street.
My heart skips a beat when my words touch hearts like Alex Panttiere and that’s why these hands keep writing.
You left without saying goodbye, you could’ve at least told me why.
You easily detached yourself like there were no feelings between us.
Like I didn’t love you hard enough, soft enough or even warm enough.
For weeks on end, I began hating you for leaving me the way you did.
Yet here I am writing all these words and somehow still missing you.
I’m slowly finding my way back to myself again no matter how severe the pain.
I’ll pick myself up and finally find the strength and courage to love again.
Maybe in your quiet time at exactly the right time, I can be your true valentine.
Sometimes jacarandas fall with no intention of lighting up the streets with their purple blooms again.

4 | 31 Poems for August 2017

Stories about how the girl I was crushing on crushed my feelings.
Stories about how I dug my own grave right after the masquerade.
Are diamonds still forever if whoever you pictured spending your eternity with isn’t the one you’re committed to?
Before she puts the blame on me just let her know that I was committed too.
Detachment is something she was always good at and I still do not know why she let me go.
My poetry was never meant to be this revealing – I’m gradually letting go of all my past demons.
I was wrong when I thought I’d always be supported by the people I believe in.
I should just call it quits and stop seeing the good in people – it drives me crazy having this much of a loving heart.
Are diamonds still forever if whoever you pictured spending your eternity with isn’t the one you’re committed to?
We should’ve done this a long time ago – we should’ve stopped wasting our relationship on building a relationship.
Detachment has become the only way to cope, I’m hanging by a thread and I hope no one cuts the rope.