"A year or two
Went by
Deep down
With silence
Longer than ever
No words to write
or to express
And there I was
standing all alone
Not knowing whether
to end or to start anew!

Was that even me
Who used to write
Or this is me
Who kept quite?

Who am I?
Did corona
actually change
all of us
or its just me
Who changed
more than ever?"

That void never really goes away!

They say it all heals
with the flow of time
but we keep running about in circles
to heal and fill up our voids.

What's the story of your void
which caused your emptiness?
No matter how much you bribe it
with all the worldly things,
It stills remains that hollow
from the inside!

We keep seeking for ourselves
in our true forms
trying to fill our voids
which made us hollow
only to find no way out!

And that void just grows
with all the time you had in life.

Hoping someday we heal
reciprocating what we may need!

May we heal,
heal from that void
which drains all our energies
piercing and tearing us apart
from within!

May we heal!

-Debby2021

Why to express
For whom should I
create it for?

I liked creating cute forms of art.
No, not anymore!
It's has always been a mirage
My life might turn cute,
If I visualize it that way!

But anyways,
I didn't understand
untill now that

"A mirage is never real!"

Why to even make art?
Whom to express to?
And for whom?
It doesn't even
Matter!

A walk which
made us 'Friends'
Hope keep walking
Throughout the
seasons of our life!

With each one of you
In my life,
our time
might never be enough!

But what counts more
is the beauty
of our crafted bond,

With all
the differences
yet we keep

growing,
blooming
wilting
and
growing
all over again!

Yet bearing all kinds
of storms
and the
seasonal changes,

We never cease
to love and care
for each other!


And that's what makes
it special always, always!


Love you all
For all the
beautiful thrills!

- Debby :)

Turned 29 yesterday,
Celebrating on my own
For the very first time
I made arrangements
for myself
With balloons, songs
and a yummy cake!
And with all these,
I realized,
I can love myself too!

Despite the
love-hate relationship
with my own self,
I owe my body and soul!
They have been through a lot
From the self harm
in every possible way
To the
low phases
and pitfalls.
And I feel grateful
that I am still alive

With so much more of wisdom
Through the journey of life
Every changing as a whole
From happiness,
joyfulness, escasty,
And love -
To the
trauma's, loss,
heartbreaks, failures
Loneliness and depression!

I am now learning
to be on my own
From distraction and noises
all around
To shifting focus to oneself!

And with all of these,
Now Murphy's law
makes much more sense!

And now
With a the shifts of focus
I know that somehow
I can contribute
to this vast world too!

Find your circle
Fill the blank spaces
And the emptiness
Residing from within.

A circle of relationships
rooting out to grow
Which I lack indeed.

The sense of belongingness
Lacking to it's brim
Overflowing
with the empty spaces,
With nothing to be hidden
Nothing to be afraid of
Nor accepting
what's happening!

Carefully haunting you
every second of your life.
Only trying to understand
Whatever is true.

The facets keeps on fluctuating
Only You can fill up your core
From your entirety
consisting of the universe
And let it outshine to its core.

Create your circle
In which You and
Tiny imaginative creatures
Will accompany you
to find your hope of joy!

Life goes on
With or without
Closures!

Love
Heartbreaks
Ghosting
Embarrassement
Guilt­ trips
Loss of a closed one to death
Losing close friends to distance
Insecurities
Nostalgic road trips

Will all of stories
In bits and pieces
Ever have the closures?

I doubt!

"Happy Children's Day"
Let the child in you
Breath in
And breath out
Let it live the life
Of it dream
It may go haywire
But who care
It it Outshine
You and the child
From within you!

And let me erase
All the beautiful memories
Painted by you for a while
And you might not even know
How much it hurts
With all the colors
Which I could
Ever bring to my life
With a change in life
Let me be a little more tough
And start mixing more colors
Creating the new ones
New life
New attire
New lanes
New dreams
New bridges
New memories
Altogether!

Blink! Blink!
And suddenly
Everything changes
You, me, I, him, her,
Surroundings,
Everything does change!

Love, hate
and every other feeling
Loses it's way

Let not anything
Tamper your soul
YOLO is what
You need to
remind your soul!

Let's get lost from within
And worry too less
What others might think!

A walk through the
Gardens by the Bay
And the super tree Grove skyway
All by my own
I felt it was enough for me
To take it all by my own
Such beauty and escasty
To find the love in nature
Is what life had given me
A gift of a new place
A garden which is never
Enough to visit one more time
The winds kissing me all across
Keeping no barrier in a foreign land!

A place which still
makes me happy
when I visualize back and forth.
The cool breezes and the greenary with the hint of flowers
Unique in it's own way
No comparison
Yet beautiful love
All throughout :)

All my poetry
Spoke about you
Our friendship
And blooming of love
Which I once thought was true
But one sided love
Was all I could figure out
To be true
Now no more Poetry
No more laughter
No more cracking of jokes
No more eating out
No more night out

Let's me come back to my soul
And love myself on my own!

When things go haywire
Get in touch with none
Except your God
You will feel awaken
And not a loner anymore.

Be where you are
Treat yourself just right
Love yourself
Even though things aren't right.

I promise
One day it will!

I always waited
Waited until it felt
All dead.
It's all cold,
Still I waited.
Thought there
might be signs of
Our love being alive
All over again
But it faded
on it's own
Without any sign
And honestly
I never want to
say goodbye!

I was sleeping
In the warmth of you
But something cracked soon
It was me who woke up
To find you were
nowhere around
in the cold morning!
Only me holding up
my shattered pieces
all my own!

Every other time
There will be chaos
In our lives!

We fight it
We resist it
And let it drown
Or burn it out
We try to do some much
To raise walls on it
Escape it or forget it
But it tends to come
back again
And again!

And a day comes
When there is no more escape
But to dance
To the steps of chaos
And figure out
It is not too bad at all.
You might suffer a bit
But later you will figure out
How to find
the beauty in chaos :)

We escaped in each other
Day in and day out
For weeks, months and year
Laughter full of suprises
Cracking of jokes
Never ending night walks
And long drives accompanying
The moonlight beans
We escaped in each other
So as to forget our past
To forget all the guilt
To forget all the baggage
Which we carry otherwise!

One fine day reality struck
And we fell off
Nowhere to escape
No commitments at all
No where to escape
No more returning back
No more crossing each other's path

No more
We cooled off
Now completely off!
No more laughter
No more jokes
No more walks
Only lonely paths
To explore within ourselves
And not each other!

Sometimes
Falling down
everything
Going wrong
Breaking up
Getting rejected
Getting ignored
Feeling it's the end
Of life!

And taking
a step backwards
Gives a new perspective
Of what I need
and what I deserve!

After shattering
into pieces
I will take
piece by piece
To fix myself
Pieces valuable
Pieces to be removed
To fresh start
all over again.

How do I make it better
How do I contribute in my own way?
How do I craft my creativity
To be someone of help.

My ways might be different
But how do I help
How do I actually fulfill my living

There is more than just me
There is us
There are all
And 'I' is just as small
In the ocean to be filled!

Its' autumn,
time to let go
But please come back
with newness within us
With your love
May be not the same
But with more of bloom!

Let all the hatred, anger
fall off within winter
And you and I become anew!

And we bloom
during spring
With our love
with more passion
and rekindled
Within us
To be inseparable!

Let us be anew
With our love during all seasons!
Will be waiting for you.

I miss our long walks
I miss tasty food
I miss empty roads
I miss the right time
I miss the wrong time
I miss that I couldn't
make it right!

I miss late night photography
I miss sharing
every bite of food
With you
I miss holding your hands
I miss your tight hugs
I miss your romantic kisses
I miss our long drives
I miss our long fast rides
I miss sleeping next to you
I miss our love-nights
I miss our laughter
I miss every bit of you
I miss our craziness
I miss the sunrise
I miss the sunset
I miss the moon
shining above us
I miss the sea
I miss the hills
I miss flowers
I miss your essence
I miss the comfort
I miss your
face to face anger
I miss everything
Without you

I miss you...
I miss me...
I miss all of it!

We might not be
crossing our paths
but what to do
That you cross
my mind
Every other time?

Lingering through
my heart
Residing within
my soul
As life..

Tu durr gaya to Kya
Mere rooh me
Tu basa hai..

Pata nahi
kab wapas aayega
Par mere har Rastey par,
har mod par
Tu hai...

Insaan alag hai
Par Meri ankhe
humesha tujhe
dhundti hai..

Pata to nahi sapne
Haqikat me
badalte hai ya nahi..

Par ab sapne me
hi jeena thoda
Sikh liya hai..

Tujhe dekhne ki
aadat hai Hume
Aadat to
chhutne sey Raha..

Ab tujhko
khudme pane ka
aadat hume
lag chuka hai..


English Translation-

So what?
You are away
But you reside within
My soul..

I don't know yet
When you will come back
But in every path
In every crossing
You are there
To accompany me..

People are different
Yet my eyes
seek for
only you..

I do not know
Whether dreams
come true?

But now
I have learnt to
Jump into the pool
Of my dreams
With you..

To see you
Has become
one of my habit
Which will
Neither leave..

Now
you are rooted
within me,
Has become
My best habit
of all times!

Feed it with a smile
Early morning
blossom fresh walk
Pause and wait for while
You miss something?
Yes, you miss yourself
being happy all by your own.

Take a deep breath
Jump into the ocean
of loving oneself
Make more art
Immerge into books
nourish your soul
Read through
the struggles of people
Finding you ashore
You are not alone.

Find yourself free
Minimize what you don't need
And fill it up with what you need.
Abandon the turmoil
of heart and mind
Life is too short to be caged inside
Speak up
and
do what you need to do.

Cry, smile and laugh out loud.
Make sure you take
'You' with you
everywhere.

I feel lonely inside
A void which nobody could fill
And I try my best to fill it
With something or the other.

Days, months, years passing by
Me being me,
trying new things,
Old things
No thing!

I observe people
Who are lonely too
What do they do
To keep going?
Was a huge questions
for me always.

Books, activities, movies
They go through
They start learning
To be with themselves happily
A book of charm.

A line I had to fill up
Today I am feeling...

Excited about life
If loneliness are lemons
I will make lemonade
Out of it
Every other day :)

I heard a story,
A story where a amputee person was trying to reach the peak of Mt. Everest.
Tried in every way but
Mid way was hospitalized.

His friend who was accompanying
Reached the peak
and later came to meet him.
Didn't bring a Garland or fruits
Rather gave him two stones.

He was stunned
And thanked him.
But he said,
I brought it for you
from the peak
It's for you to keep it
back to where it belongs!

A friend, sparking the energy
And after 3-4 attempts,
he did it
Reaching to the peak
And keeping back the two stones
To where it belonged!

Let's be honest
There are always
Can't which takes the
Front, back and mid seat
Leaving not much space for can.

But let this can enter a bit
It's always fearful
To let the newness enter
But without it
It's of no adventure!

There are times,
You take the sword
You take the shield
And keep fighting
Within your mind
Not knowing
Whom to hurt
and whom to save!

Let's just throw the sword
And the shield
Conquer from within
Let it hurt
Until, the mind wires
And rewires
To form a new You!

All the trails
In my life
Taught me to be true
True to oneself
It's not always the depression
Or loneliness that pesters you away.

It's the love for oneself
To be created with tender hands
And to realize that it's okay
To be with oneself
And celebrate days to come
With a shield in hand
And a smile never fading away.

People walking out
I walk out too
I seeked other people
Few to talk to
Few just to comfort
And another wanted me
May be my body.

But none were 'You'
I missed you
I seeked you
And no replies
from you!

What are you made up of?
You show your extreme care for me
But never tell me I love you
I waited for seasons
Still do, thinking whether it's just
A friendship or something beyond that.

Missing you
In bits and pieces
Wholly would
like to miss you
More than this.

May be someday!

There is a monster with me
With whom I live with
Each day, it has its mood swings
Me and monster holding hand,
I try to leave, it catches me everywhere
Pulls me within
It hides sometimes, leaving me alone
With a huge smile.
But when it comes back
Both of us are dead scared
As we both know
We would be *******!

I crawl back,
Seeking for help
Help Help help!
I quietly utter in pain of inner self.
And a voice says,
Pick yourself up, there is none.

After 28 years, learning
how to be there for oneself.

Happy Friendship's Day
To all my poetry friends
Wishing all of you to be
Healthy, Happy and safe.
To write & share
Your joys
Sorrows
And more
than
anything
Your precious
Time to be with.

Thank you all for
your precious time.

Negativity is bad

I know it, you know it

Whole world knows it.

But it kills.

To every positive side,

I see a unique negative side.

Affects me in every way.

Basically I do not care

My absence won't make difference

Each step I take

I feel I am backward.

Yes, suicidal I feel

But I try to overcome

Burning every other bridge

I always feel,

No one needs me

And my purpose is fading.

There are highly talented people

What is my need

It's sad that many saw talent in me

But I saw little which kept on diminishing.

I love my family,

I love my friends- one or two.

I might not say bye

As it might be disturbing.

But I am lost and

no more feel the urge.

I know what exactly I need
But can't go beyond
To reach.

Few times it seems
Out of hand
Trying to grab it

But what an oasis
kind of a feeling
There! it seems..

But
when trying to get reach closer
There is nothing!

What's the best way
to celebrate one's birthday?

To throw a party?
To cut two cakes -
One for birthday, another for promotion?
To be with loved ones - called a family?
To cherish oneself and make goals for future?
To teach art to the less privileged children?

Yes, I did it all this time!

The best of everything was the part
when I taught art to the less privileged children
But to my surprise,
These cute children taught me
more than what I could teach them!
It was- how to be happily happy with minimalism.

I spent two hours of my birthday
With them
Teaching them art
And it was so awakening,
Their happy expressions of art
Made me more happy.

They gifted me that day a smile
Which was unconditional
Few were orphans,
few children of a single parent
With less of money
but more of heart!

Their smiling aura
Amidst all odds
taught me how to live
and be happy minimally!

To look back my 28 years of life
What good did I do
Or what not good things
I can improvise too!

Years passes by and we have no clue
But aging swiftly
Without breathing the fresh soothing air
Without seeing the best out of worst
And without seeking the light
out of dark,
Perception matters a lot,

Life itself is challenging, let it be
But how to surf through it
And enjoy each moment is what matters!

Hopefully I would learn all of it.

A cute chocolate truffle cake
Brought mysteriously
Without my knowledge at all.

My team & colleagues
clapping and singing
Happy Birthday
Which
means a lot to me.

While I cut the cake
with shaking hands
Anxious a bit
Not used to
So much of attention
How to express my emotions
Whether happy or sad,
I don't know what to do

As all of them
Gave me a reason
To smile a bit
And be happy despite
of challenges.