Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Cyndi 6d
I feel my arms go cold
The thoughts in my head fold
"Oh no, not again,
I just want it all to end

I feel it on my neck
A cool and heavy breath
The white all melts to red
There's buzzing in my head

Infernal whispers in my ear
I want to run away from here
I wish I hadn't missed my meds
Forever haunted to all ends

A sense of dread washes over me
I should be over it, but I'm not free
Even though it's only been a year
I thought I wouldn't still have the fear

I close my eyes
I can still see them
I cover my ears
they whisper I’m red
I plug my ears
I can still hear them
I can still see them
Why
still

Things are different
I have my friend's support
I tried to escape the torrent
All of my effort
I have Quetiapine
For whatever that's worth
I try to leave the scene
From then on and since forth
I have experience
and I'm always trying
The ----ing inconvenience
I have ways of coping
But it all
feels
the same

It just
feels
the same

It's still red
It's still black
It's still a burden
on my back
It's still a conch shell
A wave of fear
It's still a tickle in my ear
It's still a void staring at me
with piercing white eyes
God, I want to get free
those eyes
the only thing white in the world
Like a horrifying play, it's about to unfurl

I hold my head
I hold my heart
I lie in bed
Afraid to depart
I want to cry
I really do
I can't explain why
I can't seem to

Maybe it's because I like it
Some part of me does
I really hate but I admit it
I wish it never ever was
A misplaced giggle
A twisted smile in my head
A love of edges
A want for the blazing red

It's a part of my brain
That I just can't constrain
Makes me feel like I'm crazy
I can't be insane

I got things to create
A life to live
A tested fate
A want to give

But it nags

Oh it nags

They say a laugh is the truest form of communication
Well, what if it's true?
What if that laugh you heard
Was me through and through?

I really must fight it
The laugh and the grin
The red in my head
Can't escape from within
I know it's wrong
It doesn't though
Its twisted song
Stopped at my throat
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me
It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me It isn't me

I don't want to be red
So
I guess
I'll be

Black
My second poem in the RED series. This one might add more confusion into the already confusing ideas and narrative, so I guess if for whatever reason you're trying to decipher my ramblings I'm sorry.
Cyndi Apr 5
I, a lowly Quarter
Her, a goddess Penny
I, a girl afflicted with spirit-sense
Her, from a world looking down upon mine

We met by chance
A product of excitement and thirst
She brought me an iced tea
And sat across from me

The other seats were full
The cafe was new
The timing was perfect
The iced tea was... interesting

She asked me my name
I replied, "I'm just a Quarter
She didn't care
She said, "Well, I'm just a Penny

Her sweet expression
The sweet iced tea
Melted my bitter coffee heart
Made broken from fear

I had come because ghosts don't like crowds
They don't like people
They don't like me
She didn't know

She didn't need to
I was just alone
And thirsty
And afraid

She asked what I like to do
I said "I like video games
She didn't laugh or leave
She said "I do too!

We talked for what seemed like hours
It was starting to get dark
I told her I needed to go
In the dark, the ghosts get... aggressive

She asked me if I wanted to meet again
Of course I said yes
She seemed... sort of magical
Alchemical

I ran, pulling my backpack straps
The ghosts all stared
But for the first time, I didn't really care
I just smiled

The next day I went back
She was there waiting
I sat down and ordered a coffee
She asked, "How are you feeling?

I wanted to say scared
I wanted to say in love
I wanted to say confused
But I said, "Happy to be here

We talked for hours more
Laughing about funny memes
Discussing foods
Borderline flirting

She asked me, "So why did you leave so suddenly?
I got nervous
Nobody likes spirit-sensors
Nobody

I hesitated
She noticed
I said, "Well, I—
She put her hand on my shoulder

"Don't worry, I know why.
You don't have to be ashamed.
Your fearful manner
Your urgency

"I don't hate you.
She stood up, taking me with her
And hugged me
She... Hugged me

I, a lowly Quarter
Her, a goddess Penny
I, a girl afflicted with spirit-sense
Her, abandoning her world above mine

I couldn't help it
I cried
I
I just cried into her shoulder

She walked me home
It was dark
The ghosts clawed at me
But her presence cleared away the pain

She bandaged my wounds
She told me I should sleep
She walked out the door
Wait, not yet—!

I stopped her
Beneath my tree, the amber leaves twirling around us
The tree I was born under
The tree many were hung in

I asked her to stay

We sat on the grass
I was still crying a little
I asked her why
Why

She told me many things
About her manipulative father
About her mother, who despised those beneath them
But most of all, she said

"I don't care who you are.
I don't care who I am.
I knew you needed someone,
And I needed someone.

"You might be a Quarter
And I might be Penny
But when I saw you
I
saw
you.

I couldn't believe it
Nobody would
It was surreal
Impossible

But not anymore
Now, we don't meet at the cafe
We meet in the living room
With a coffee and an iced tea

She tells her friends, "She's perfect for me
I tell myself, "She's perfect for me
We play video games
We fight ghosts

We watch fireworks
We count the stars
We cuddle at the fireplace
We kissed, for the first time, at the cafe

I, a lowly Quarter
Her, a goddess Penny
Us, together
We, an unthinkable couple

An unstoppable gaming team
A couple of caffeine junkies
A pair of memelords
A dancing duet of fates

A
Quarter and Penny
Cyndi Apr 4
A chill creeps down the hallway,
My pen glides on the paper.
How long have I been away?
It feels like it has been hours.

It’s almost finished up,
Something about it’s not right.
Why do things feel a bit off?
It’s quieter than usual.

I don’t remember that one,
Where did they come from?
Wait, they’re over there,
That can’t be right.

My paper is crimson,
How did that happen?
All my pens are the color of roses,
I can feel my face flushing

It’s getting deeper and deeper,
how are they everywhere?
Was it something I ate?
Did I hurt someone?

did I hit my head?
are they getting darker?
it’s getting difficult
i gasp frantically

where did the air go?
am I crazy?
who is that?
i can barely breathe

the sound is distorting
everything
sounds like
like i’m underwater

wait

are they talking?
it’s too quiet
they look like a drop of ink
in a world of blood and dirt

I can’t hear them
the whispers
they tickle my ears
like a spider in my eardrums
are they real?

I look away
I can still see them
I look at my hands
they say it’s my fault they’re red
I close my eyes
I can still see them
I cover my ears
they whisper I’m red
I plug my ears
I can still hear them
I can still see them
I yelp
I can’t hear myself
I can still hear them
I only see red
I can still see them
I can still hear them
see them
a drop of ink
hear them
spider in my eardrums
see
a world of blood and dirt
hear
a conch shell
see
red
hear
red
taste
red
I’m

they’re

we’re

a whisper in my ear says all I can think

“You’re
Red.
Hi! I'm new here, and this is a poem I'm proud of from a year ago. If you can decipher what it's about, congratulations, you get a gold star.

— The End —