She always had a way with words in times when she didn't have anything to say
She always had a way to put off the inevitable
She found broken pieces inside herself and tried to put them back together
But while doing this her hand slipped and she cut her own heart open
So there she laid
More broken than before
All because she was stupid enough to fix something that wasn't fix able

I like the rush of anger
The fight to protect
To be caught in the middle and to fight my way out like a winner

I hate to admit it but I like being the strong abused girl
Because without her who am I
What am I

I'm thinking about you more now
And I don't know what that means
I don't care

Sometimes I cry about it because I told you I loved you
And you
You never said it back
I loved you with everything I had
You were the first person I've ever told that too
And you never said it back

And sometimes I wonder what if
If maybe you hadn't left
If I had been patient
If we had been right for each other

You were everything I had ever wanted
And god now I wished I had never wished them
Now I understand why they say to be careful what you wish for
Because my wish came true with you
And now I wish I had never wished upon that shooting star

I'm not allowed to mourn you
And it's not fair
Because we were an almost
And I still think about it at 3am some nights
And I wonder
Maybe things would be different
If you had almost not lied to me
If I had almost been patient
If we had almost been together

But that's wrong
We're wrong
You were the perfect puzzle piece
And you used to fit with me perfectly
Until one day you didn't

So now all we are is an almost
An almost I can't mourn

His smile
A godsend

Oh what a beautiful life
His words would make me alight with happiness

His crazy singing at 3 am
Careless to his church going neighbors

He was perfect
In every single way

He was everything I could have loved


But no matter what his heart pleads of me
I cannot give him what he wants

He was everything that I should have loved
But I never seem to do the things I should

I don't know how to tell you
But I'm sorry
I'm just not in love with you
And I know that I must sound like a *****
But I can't watch you fall in love with me
I can't

But this is the issue
how do I tell my boyfriend that I don't love him

He was completely different yet it seemed that he was made that way
He was sharp
All of his edges they made him stand out
He was dark but not in a bad or sadistic way
No he was the calm before the storm
He was the tidal wave before the tsunami
He was like a mirror
He had been broken in to pieces sharp yet honest
he represented years of bad luck in a pretty case
But that's what I loved
He was so different that he seemed to be made for me
He was the honest mirror and I was the victim , I had broke a mirror and paid the price

Whisper you love me one more time
Just say it to the wind
Let it carry your words over time
Whisper you love me one more time before it all goes away
Before you realise I'm not the one
That your looking for

Moments before the everlasting tide
I wish for you by my side
Moments after the waves wash in
I wish for you to cleanse every sin
Moments during the storm
I wish for your ray of sunshine to make me feel warm
I should not wish on you like a shooting star
But that's the kind of friend you are , beautifully bizarre
So I bid you a happy Valentine's Day
Hoping you will wait for me on the shore on a planet far far away
Maybe you'll allow me to stay
For just another day
What a wonderful person to call a friend
Till the waves crash in , taking me under until the end

It's a whirl of colour
It's a string of messages , just talking
It's the times when I feel as though I could speak to you forever
It's the moments where you let me in
It's the moments when I open up to you
It's the certain comments you make making me believe we could be more than friends

That's when I believe that we could be more than friends
But then I remember that your never going to be mine
Then I realise I'm never going to be more than a friend
Those are the moments I wish I could forget

Do you ever find yourself in a hole that you can't see yourself out of?

Light lay on each of us
The sun gave us all kisses
The rain fell on us weeping at the beauty before us
The clouds opened
And black and white set us free
An array of colours dancing on our hair
Making us look alight
The wind hugged us from every angle

This is Life in motion
Life is springing beauty from every angle
Like the veil between this world and the next has burst
And all we could think was
This is life in colour
And we never wanted to go back

Today was a bad day
All because some guy didn't want me
How pathetic is that ?
Well what's more pathetic is that it just makes me want to come crawling back to you because atleast I know  that you wanted me
That's what's really pathetic

You know sometimes I close my eyes
And pretend everything is alright
But my imagination isn't working and I can't pretend anymore
No matter how much I try

I want to talk to you
But if I'm being honest , I don't know what to say

He appeared one day
Unannounced and unexpected
Completely out of the blue
Something drew me to him
Maybe it was his secret darkness

He once told me he was a collector
And I , being the naive child I was , asked " of what , toys , trinkets or dolls ?"
He simply said " of all ."
And I couldn't quite comprehend what he meant
So being the child I was I forgot and instead told him stories of good and evil

Looking back I realise what he meant
He collected us , underage , vunrable, wanting love
We were like toys , trinkets and broken porcelain dolls

He put us up on his shelf , to be admired
After he was done with playing with us , he moved on
To a new toy , one much more naive

And then I finally realised what drew me to him
It wasn't  his secret darkness
But rather my inevitably to see it wasn't a secret
It was plain as day
And I being naive
Thought it was a secret he only told me
It made me special
But In fact it only made me one thing
Easy , easy prey for a cruel unforgiving beast
Known as a collector

I would have given anything for you to be real
For all your terrible flaws to be real
I would have given anything
But in the end you were only a dream
Made up by a cruel puppet master
Pulling my strings , causing me to love a dream
A dream that has now turned into a pitiful
Gut renching , tear jerking nightmare
A creation of a cruel puppet master
A deceptive puppeteer

I'm bored
Tell me a story
Sing me a lullaby
Make my troubles disappear
Stroke my hair to calm my restless mind

I'm bored
And all I want is to give you a call
So that you can help
But funny enough
You never answered
Oh what a shame
You bored me anyway

My eyes
Forever at war
Your eyes
Forever a mystery

What a couple we made
For war is complicated , never truthful
You were like war
But you were also different
You were complicated and never truthful
But unlike war , your deception never ended
War always has an end
Tragic or harmonious
It always ends
There was never an end to you
So at some point I stopped reading your story
And put it aside
For a stormy , rainy day

The city lights are blinding
They are beautiful yet polluted
Filling this world with dreadful disease

The city lights are blinding
They take away your sight
Making you walk this world blind unknowing to its dangers

The city lights are blinding
Making all feel forevermore alone

The city lights are blinding  
And Iam blinded by there dreadful beauty

Perhaps this is what love is
A string of words
That have no meaning and no future
Just worthless fillers
Used to make me feel better

I close my eyes
And suddenly a gust appears
Sending all into shivers
I light whisper and whispering follows
I feel things settle on my nose and lips
My wind goes wild
I can feel what is about to come
I open my eyes and right before me , laid at my feet is a winter wonderland
And I am like a kid again
Could This strange sparkling white stuff be a time machine
Could this solve our quest for immortality
Cause I'm feeling like a little kid again
Like I haven't aged a day
What a wonderous thing is my magical time machine
Would you like a go ?

Drip
Drop
Drip
Drop
Your shirts are stained now
In a colour so deep , can you guess how ?
Your fingers are blue , fragile and cold
Your body will soon never grow old
Maybe that's what immortality is
If so , I've been immortal for some time cause of this
Pain , it's unbearable
It's unchangeable
im drowning
And believe me it's not a good feeling
So I continue
Till my end is due
And my song will be the haunting melody
A lonely harmony
A Blue , purple and red
there's nothing left to be said
Except
Drip
Drop
Drip
Drop
My shirt is stained
Oh what a shame

The water crashed and churns
As it leaves my body and then returns
The wind tosses and turns
As it gives me sweet kisses that burn
The smoke escapes my lips
Sending a warning to incoming ships
The wild calls
Telling me to jump , no matter the fall
The adventure awaits
Deciding all our fates

I never knew I could love
Till I saw you
I never knew it could feel this good
It burns like fire on firewood

I never knew that it would hurt this much
When you leave me without your touch

Oh what a wonderful drug
To be paralysed by a hug
Oh what a fool I was to think you felt the same because
You never did oh what a shame
Your not someone that I can tame

She was like a broken record
Repeating her song of lies ,good faith and happiness
And they all judge her
But can't they hear it
There song
It's repeating  
Maybe someone should let them know

You've hurt me so much
And maybe I forgive you too much

And I cry my last tear
Hoping you'll come and take away the fear
That you'll never come back
That maybe this pain is payback

But I'm not sad
I'm not even mad
Because with each word I write I remember
I'll remember this every November
I'll Remember each word, lie or truth
Because they are apart of my youth

And I don't hate you
Please believe that as true
And if you ever come back
Just give my door a whack
But for now , you know how I feel
And that's a good enough deal

Maybe in another life
There will be no strife
Maybe it could be different
And everything else will feel insignificant

But for now
This is all that will be allowed

You'll be my lonely apollo riding from dusk till dawn bringing and taking the light from my world
Forever apart of my dream world

We're like the edge of a blunt knife
That is perhaps beautiful and sharp in another life

Her eyes were once full of love
Full of hope , that he'd be good for her

Her eyes are now dull , broken
Full of despair as she realised .....
He's no better than the rest
He went and  broke her heart

And that was when the girl thought what's the point? Cause love always leaves you the same way it found you
Broken ,
Dull,
Full of pain.
So someone tell me what's the point ?

It feels like my head is splitting in two
I'm head can't take it
I just want to hide in a dark room
Windows open
The wind taking me up , up and up
Far above it all
It feels like my heads being hammered
I am a nail used in construction and I am being hammered and I am being split in two
God when will it stop
Like a siren that won't shut up
Like ravens in the morning
Singing there deathly tunes
Waking up all in there range
Gosh it won't leave
I might as well be a servant
To an unyielding master
A master with a cruel cruel name
Master migraine

A way to describes us would be
Tragic
Relentless
Unrelenting
Restless
A way to describe us would be a set of words formed into a structured mess
Were hoarders
Keeping stacks and stacks of memories
We constantly relive them
It's the only way we can talk to each other
We are hoarders of memories
Of lost photographs
Of forgotten trinkets
We are hoarders of feelings and past hopes

She walks in plain sight
She lets her dark hair fool you
She wears waterproof mascara
Can you guess why?
She is primped and primed in this preppy paper town
She sits alone yet never looks lonesome
Why?

She walks in plain sight
She wears water proof mascara can you guess why?!
Not cause she's afraid of the rain
But because she's prepared of the inevitability of it
She's primped and primed to perfection
A porcelain doll
In a porcelain town
With a porcelain heart
Beautiful but breakable

I feel like I'm suffocating
Buried under it all
I can't breathe
But sometimes I'm not so sure I want to Breathe again

I'm suffocating
Buried 6ft under

I think more than anything I'm in love with his smile
The way his laughter could carry on for miles

The way his eyes shine
They could stop time

The way his nose wrinkles
With every giggle

The way his touch gives me tingles
When our lips blissfully mingle

I think more than anything I'm in love with his smile
That no one but me could see it for miles

My nose an angry red
My eyes cloudy with tears
My throats raw with sobs
My pale skin has become paler
My dark hair , a curtain of protection
perfect symptoms of a cold and a broken heart

He had such pretty eyes
They were greener than any forest
They drew you in
They were the kind of eyes that you could get lost in
And I suppose that's just what I did

I dont know how to tell you
But this is true
I'm hopelessly in love with you

She didn't feel the same .
Not anymore ,she was different once

Now shes like a watered down version, pale and thin
She slips through the cracks , unnoticed
She fades into the background, afraid of saying the wrong thing    
She grows sharp edges and wont let anyone close to her.

She doesn't know how she came to be like this ,
How she ended up here
She only remembers the way she used to be - Wild and Reckless
                               Bold and Unapologetic

She wasn't afraid to be herself
So when everybody said " be a lamb"
She showed her fangs , and became a
                          Wolf

Lilies for a mother ,
Lilies for a wife ,
Lilies to placed at the end of a life

Lilies for those with wild hearts
Lilies for those who  cannot be tamed
Lilies for those who's minds are inflamed

Water lilies atop a bewitching pond
Tiger lilies used for a crown
Lilies of the valley to match a delicate gown

Lilies give me solace for the day
In a place that is awfully grey  
In a world that is darker than what is within me
To brighten my day just simply give me a lily.

She blames insomnia
for the lack of sleep she knows ,
she only gets from the broken shards of her heart,
scattered and jumbled up

Her troubled thoughts make her restless
wondering and waiting for the peace and sleep she knows she isn't worthy of

What the girl never realised was that , loving too much
left her wide awake at 3am .....
wondering , crying
ripping up her own mind for explanations that she'll never get
and realising that she never wants to feel again.

She was the type to fall in love with the moon,
And everything that was beautifully

                                                                        Unreachable......

We are all broken ,
that is  how the light gets in

She gave all she had to another love
She broke her heart for another love
She gave all her love to another love
And now all she has is another lonely night lover

I never needed you
or the way your hand fit perfectly in mine

I never needed your beautiful eyes staring deep into my dull ones
or the way the sun caught your hair

I never needed to hear your sweet nothings at my darkest hours
or or your flawlessly smooth skin against mine

Its all true ... i never needed it
but oh god did i want it

I want our love to be imperfect and perfect
I want our love to be tragic and safe

I want it to be ..... love

But i dont know what that is

I didn't know love before you
I didn't know how to love

I didn't know that fairy tales could come true
I didn't know how to feel before you touched me

I didn't know how to see
Till you saw me , so I saw me through your eyes , till I learnt how to see for myself

I didn't know that love could feel this good  
Till you made me feel like an angel that deserves nothing but love and preservation

I didn't know anything
Now I still don't know a lot
But I do  know this .....
I am irrevocably in love with you .

I don't breathe the same
I can't

I don't see the same
How could I ?

I don't look the same
I've got new scars

I don't speak the same
I have a sharper edge to my words

I don't love the same
If I love at all

I do however feel the same
How could that change ?
It can't .
Cause I'll always feel this way ....



                  Broken

I thought of you in the rain
As it washed away everything

I thought of you in the sunshine that followed
Making everything sparkle and shine

I thought of you in the rainbow after
Made from opposites but prettier than anything other

I thought of you in everything
                   So
Everyday rain or shine
I sit and I think

He pulled her strings
She moved her arms
She swayed her body to what was once lost .

I close my eyes
I see the stars

I close my lips
My breath does resist

I am covered in earth
I shall be laid to rest , no eternal light

My mind awake
My soul condemned
My last words on my lips , this is the end .