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 Apr 27 Shadowhollow
You say that I’ve changed,
I’m simply not the same.
A stranger that stole
Your little sisters face.
What a disgrace,
To be so misplaced.
But tell me dear siblings,
How would you know?
You never see me.
I have bent over backwards
All for you.
My “loving” family,
I have broken my heart
Again and again
On the cold steel of your eyes.
I have choked on the storm
Of your torrent of lies.
I have cut myself open
And poured my blood all over
the razor whip of your cruel words.
I have cried for you
I have died  inside for you
And when you were jealous,
because I could fly
I let you tear off my wings
And chain me to the ground.
Because I was told your love
Had to be earned
I did everything you asked of me.
I gave you my everything
And then a little more
Only to hear you demand for more.
Your eyes stayed cold
And words cut deeper still
I froze from your gaze
And collapsed from the blood loss
And you were insulted
And as you broke me
You laughed when you snapped me in two
Then left me behind,
As you always do.
You expect me to take the pain
And rise once more
On trembling limbs
To trail on after you
So you can break me some more.
You demand I be there should you have the need
To always be willing to let you watch me bleed.
And yet you claim that It is I,
Who has changed,
That I am simply not the same.
A stranger that stole
Your little sisters face.
And as I lay bleeding
I realized you were leeching
The life from my soul
And I felt the betrayal swallow me whole
I gasp for air,
Running out of breath
From the noose of expectations
You’ve tied round my neck.

And then a hand reaches for mine
And helps me to my feet
Her kind eyes find my glazed ones
And in them I saw the pain I feel
That was the moment
I realized I had it all twisted.
The love of a family is not something to earn
It is not a battle
But a blessing.
And as she smiled I knew I found
The sister that I was waiting for
She was everything I needed
And so very much more.

And so I will love her
With all that I have
Though my heart is broken
It still has its beat
I may not have much to give
But what I have is yours
To keep.
Thank you my sweet firecracker
Thank you Barnacle
You are the sisters
That I choose
It may not be much but I hope it’s enough
 Mar 27 Shadowhollow
The tragedy is
there's a prison in my mind
all the thoughts that lurk there
are ones I wish were never mine
they etch into my heart
the scars I wear so bright

They whisper wicked stories
of things that never happened
or maybe things that did
things that shouldn't create ripples
in the current in my life
but here I lay in bed
stuck awake at night
eyes cutting blankly
through the nothingness of my cold and dark bedroom
 Mar 16 Shadowhollow
You appear  faceless
in my every dream
following in the footsteps
I've left somberly in the snow

I envision the warmth of your smile
yet, as I turn my head to see
as I turn the page in my heart to love again
the words are left unwritten
wind sweeping away your fleeting smile
the spectral figure of you
following in the footsteps
I've left somberly in the snow

The spectral figure of you
softly fades to gray
leaving me to this labyrinth
in which I wander alone
seeking for eternity
the answers to "what went wrong?".
 Feb 13 Shadowhollow
Roses by your grave
I guess I'm just a bit depressed
Hiding shadows in my eyes
My heart's put to the test

I only saw the side of you that always tried her best
Captured in the pictures still living on my phone
Your smile has this liveliness
It puts breath inside my chest

You were better than this world
So you left it all behind
On that Monday morning, you climbed up to the sky
Leaving me to live
In the memory of you and I
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