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Shadowhollow Mar 5
Who am I ?
Full to the brim of pain

Who do you want me to be ?
But beyond the point of emptiness

Maybe I’m not ok ?
Hold me

Is it possible to swim without becoming water yourself ?
Always ok ,always fine


Am I not good enough ?

So who am I ?
Who am I trying to be ?

I’m hurting but don’t let anyone know
The show must go on
It shouldn’t
             But it does
So empty I remain
Because anything is better
Than this burning pain
I’m drowning
Feb 20 · 59
Requiem of not love
Shadowhollow Feb 20
Soft hugs
Warm and calm

Sweet kisses
Long and lasting

This is how I choose to remember us
Remember you

For without those soft hugs and sweet kisses what were we ?
Nothing but cold skin and hollow bone

Together but oh so alone .
Feb 6 · 106
Dandelion day dreamer
Shadowhollow Feb 6
Run away dandelions
Swept away by the stars
Jan 27 · 267
Shadowhollow Jan 27
I can’t fight the bitter taste
Of regret
When I smell you on my duvet

I can’t fight the bitter taste
When I remember your hands around my waist
I felt ever so safe
But now the comfort has left this place

And now all that’s left is what your kiss gave me
A bitter aftertaste
Dec 2018 · 58
Half light
Shadowhollow Dec 2018
You only show half of you
The half you wish everyone to see
The half that is easier to show
And when I lit the other half of you
I realised I no longer wanted to see pretty things
I wanted to see the rest of you
The half that was shadowed by my sunset glow
The beauty before the darkness
Oct 2018 · 65
Shadowhollow Oct 2018
Amidst the darkness she found peace ,
In the solidarity
That came with death
Oct 2018 · 287
Some other
Shadowhollow Oct 2018
I had a dream that when I woke you you were there
In your imperfect beauty
You were just standing  
Like a ghost watching over me
You were faded smudged at the edges
On your face was plastered a smile but it wasn’t yours
It was some other lovers
A name I’ve forgotten
Then I woke up
And I realised you were never there
What a funny dream
I whisper as a hand laid on my shoulder
Your hand
And how I longed to hold it
But then I remembered your a dream it’s fake
Your a ghost
Smudged at the edges like a forgotten photograph
With some other lovers smile plastered on your face
A name I’ve forgotten lost in the wind
Sep 2018 · 280
Shadowhollow Sep 2018
I want to touch you
Run and jump arms open wide

But I’m afraid if I do I’ll fall right through you
Your a fragment of my dreams reflected in a mirror

Your beauty incomprehensible
Dangerous , raw , your the sublime
Too beautiful to touch

So I float atop a dark mirror as your ominous  shadow is cast over my shattered reflection

Stretched out bare
For all to see

Something untouchable
Aug 2018 · 1.2k
The first colour ~Blue
Shadowhollow Aug 2018
Blue, what a funny colour
It reminds us of the sky
Open,beautiful,careful and powerful
It reminds us of the sea
Free,wild,restless and mysterious

That was the first colour I imagined I saw
A blue clearer than any sky
A blue deeper than any sea

Blue, it’s the colour of your eyes
Must I say more
For my blue eyed boy
Jul 2018 · 308
Scarlet sea
Shadowhollow Jul 2018
This is the end
This is the end of my story

My lonely story
A fairy tale no child should know

I fall deeper and and deeper
Slowly falling in an abyss

My hands and feet bound
But I take no mind to that
For I have always been bound

I do not struggle
My wrists r too raw
So I fall
Deeper and deeper

Waiting for someone to pull me out
Waiting for anything to save me

My blood runs out
Making the sea scarlet
As I become empty
A shell
In this scarlet sea
I don’t know who to talk to so I guess this is me reaching out .
Jun 2018 · 161
Cloverless fields
Shadowhollow Jun 2018
They say first loves hurt the most
And that may be true
Because you loose trust
In how they feel for you

They say first loves break your heart
And that is true
It hurts the way they call u sweetheart
Because eventually when they stop and you will feel ever so blue

They say you never forget your first love
But that’s not true
Because I won’t remember the way you shut me out with a shove
I’ll remember the way you made me feel
And how Much I wished for your touch

That’s something I’ll never forget
And you may try your hardest to forget
But I know you felt it too
I know you wanted my touch
To sooth you with a simple touch

So don’t lie to yourself because I know you still think about it
So don’t be a hypocrite

Because I know you loved me
And how I reminded you of the sea
Wild and reckless
I know your jealous of his hands , you feel helpless

But this is over
And  to find a love like that will be rare like finding a four leafed clover
In a cloverless field
To my first love
May 2018 · 181
Silent screams
Shadowhollow May 2018
Sometimes I wonder if you were it for me
That’s why I scream in dark places

That’s why I cry under covers
That’s why I lay here

May 2018 · 160
The night we met
Shadowhollow May 2018
The memories scatter in the wind
Like the ash of those forgotten

Your happiness rains down like the first light of dawn
As mine fades like the last of dusk

Our love lost in the east
Like a lonely traveler , hitchhiking on others happiness

I had all of you like the sun had all of the sky
Now the clouds have came
Washing us over
Lapping is in sea foam
Burying us
I now have none of you
Like the moon had none of the sun

And all I wish is to close my eyes and let myself be buried in memories
Of the night we met
That summers night
Fresh and humid

Now it’s summer again
But I am without your seldom kiss
That burned like a fire
Scorching our sun kissed skin
May 2018 · 211
Shadowhollow May 2018
They say to forgive and forget
But I can’t look at his face
I can’t
It’s a constant reminder of how I’ve lived ....
of who I am

I look around my house and don’t see a house
Rather an abyss filled with shattered memories
Everywhere I look

I am who I am
And I have lived through what I have lived through
But sometimes I want to run and leave this town , this place .

I want to run from being the broken abused girl
I want to start a new
Be somebody else

But no matter how far I run or where I run to
It will follow me
Like the wind follows the trees
Sweeping everything into chaos

I can’t run from this
But if I stay
If I continue to look at reminders
I will feel like I’m being cut and broken every day
By an abundance of shattered memories
Scattered like glass
Broken in anger
Broken in despair
Broken in every way
Apr 2018 · 74
Feel me in the dust
Shadowhollow Apr 2018
I want closure
I want to be free
I want to forget
I want you to message me
I want you to explain
I want no lies or excuses
I want the truth
I want to let go
But how can I
When all I am to you is a lost memory
Someone to forget
Someone to be left in the dust
Apr 2018 · 72
The burnt daffodil
Shadowhollow Apr 2018
I would give anything for things to be how they were
When you were all I wanted and that want burned like a fire

I lied to you when you asked if I’d prefer ignorance or the truth
I said truth but I was young back then and full of youth
I would give anything to be ignorant and not know
Who you are and just go back to when you first said hello

But that would be wrong  
But when it comes to you I’m not strong
I’m just not
But back then I knew naught
I did not know who and what you were  
I played with fire

I thought you wouldn’t let me burn
But u left me to yearn
Yearning for everything we were and weren’t
So here I lay fatefully burnt

Like a daffodil caught in a blaze
Scorned by your gaze
Mar 2018 · 60
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
She loved poetry
Not for the complicated verses or beats
Nor for the fame or money
She loved at its rawest
Pure emotion
She loved it because it allowed you to sail in an ocean and into a new world that was completely undiscovered
It was a whirlwind that broke down cities
Broke down ignorance and hatred
Through a simple string of words
And how beautiful those words were
Mar 2018 · 155
Pandora's box
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
We may be sad
We may be messy
We may be crazy
But the best thing about the human race
Is our ability to hope
For without hope we have no life
No beginning
For without that little piece of hope
We would not be human
And to be human
Is beautiful thing
Just a little thing I came up with
Mar 2018 · 131
Be as you are
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
Bleed me
Brake me
Fight me
Bruise me
That's your job isn't it
As a father that's what you should do
So carry on
Bleed me
Brake me
Fight me
Bruise me
Slowly **** me everyday
With a smug smile on your face
Be you
Because you will never change
That I know for sure
Mar 2018 · 85
Your falling
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
It's like a tidal wave
Lost in a storm of sorrow

Speaking to you everyday makes me feel so much sorrow
And every time you tell me your falling in love with me
I ask why
And you simply say " because your everything I've ever wanted and needed "

I feel a heartbreaking sorrow then
Because I know that you aren't everything I've ever needed or wanted
I feel that sorrow because your falling for me
And you expect me to catch you
But the thing is , my feet haven't left the ground

Your free falling with no parachute
But you don't seem to care
because as you say " these things take time"
But all I'm thinking is
No matter how long we live I know I won't love you that way

That's why I feel sorrow
For something and someone who I cannot fall for
Mar 2018 · 136
Free falling
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I felt as though I missed the last step on my stairs
I felt so ****** for not realising  
I was laughing at myself
My whole world felt like I was falling and I couldn't understand why till I was told the truth
And now my feet r placed on the ground
But suddenly I miss falling
It seemed to feel like I was  flying
As free as a bird
Now I'm no longer  free but trapped in a cage we call socitry
Mar 2018 · 144
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I fell in love with your every flaw
I fell in love with your every mistake
i fell so far for you that I didn't know if I would survive the landing
And I unfortunately did not

I fell hard and I had hoped that you would be at the bottom
But as I got closer to the ground I saw you flee
And you left me there
Falling down to the ground
Like I was cast down to earth by god
I realised you hadn't  been a miracle but a punishment
And I fell
Broken and restless
Like a fallen angel
I fell from heaven right into ****
Mar 2018 · 284
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
She always had a way with words in times when she didn't have anything to say
She always had a way to put off the inevitable
She found broken pieces inside herself and tried to put them back together
But while doing this her hand slipped and she cut her own heart open
So there she laid
More broken than before
All because she was ****** enough to fix something that wasn't fix able
Mar 2018 · 87
The rush
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I like the rush of anger
The fight to protect
To be caught in the middle and to fight my way out like a winner

I hate to admit it but I like being the strong abused girl
Because without her who am I
What am I
Mar 2018 · 265
Shooting star
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I'm thinking about you more now
And I don't know what that means
I don't care

Sometimes I cry about it because I told you I loved you
And you
You never said it back
I loved you with everything I had
You were the first person I've ever told that too
And you never said it back

And sometimes I wonder what if
If maybe you hadn't left
If I had been patient
If we had been right for each other

You were everything I had ever wanted
And god now I wished I had never wished them
Now I understand why they say to be careful what you wish for
Because my wish came true with you
And now I wish I had never wished upon that shooting star
Mar 2018 · 247
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I'm not allowed to mourn you
And it's not fair
Because we were an almost
And I still think about it at 3am some nights
And I wonder
Maybe things would be different
If you had almost not lied to me
If I had almost been patient
If we had almost been together

But that's wrong
We're wrong
You were the perfect puzzle piece
And you used to fit with me perfectly
Until one day you didn't

So now all we are is an almost
An almost I can't mourn
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
His smile
A godsend

Oh what a beautiful life
His words would make me alight with happiness

His crazy singing at 3 am
Careless to his church going neighbors

He was perfect
In every single way

He was everything I could have loved

But no matter what his heart pleads of me
I cannot give him what he wants

He was everything that I should have loved
But I never seem to do the things I should
Mar 2018 · 74
The ugly truth
Shadowhollow Mar 2018
I don't know how to tell you
But I'm sorry
I'm just not in love with you
And I know that I must sound like a *****
But I can't watch you fall in love with me
I can't

But this is the issue
how do I tell my boyfriend that I don't love him
Feb 2018 · 85
Mirror man
Shadowhollow Feb 2018
He was completely different yet it seemed that he was made that way
He was sharp
All of his edges they made him stand out
He was dark but not in a bad or sadistic way
No he was the calm before the storm
He was the tidal wave before the tsunami
He was like a mirror
He had been broken in to pieces sharp yet honest
he represented years of bad luck in a pretty case
But that's what I loved
He was so different that he seemed to be made for me
He was the honest mirror and I was the victim , I had broke a mirror and paid the price
Feb 2018 · 91
The hopeless wind
Shadowhollow Feb 2018
Whisper you love me one more time
Just say it to the wind
Let it carry your words over time
Whisper you love me one more time before it all goes away
Before you realise I'm not the one
That your looking for
Feb 2018 · 113
A valentine for a friend
Shadowhollow Feb 2018
Moments before the everlasting tide
I wish for you by my side
Moments after the waves wash in
I wish for you to cleanse every sin
Moments during the storm
I wish for your ray of sunshine to make me feel warm
I should not wish on you like a shooting star
But that's the kind of friend you are , beautifully bizarre
So I bid you a happy Valentine's Day
Hoping you will wait for me on the shore on a planet far far away
Maybe you'll allow me to stay
For just another day
What a wonderful person to call a friend
Till the waves crash in , taking me under until the end
Sometimes a friend is better than a secret valentine
Shadowhollow Feb 2018
It's a whirl of colour
It's a string of messages , just talking
It's the times when I feel as though I could speak to you forever
It's the moments where you let me in
It's the moments when I open up to you
It's the certain comments you make making me believe we could be more than friends

That's when I believe that we could be more than friends
But then I remember that your never going to be mine
Then I realise I'm never going to be more than a friend
Those are the moments I wish I could forget
Jan 2018 · 95
Not a poem
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
Do you ever find yourself in a hole that you can't see yourself out of?
Jan 2018 · 81
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
Light lay on each of us
The sun gave us all kisses
The rain fell on us weeping at the beauty before us
The clouds opened
And black and white set us free
An array of colours dancing on our hair
Making us look alight
The wind hugged us from every angle

This is Life in motion
Life is springing beauty from every angle
Like the veil between this world and the next has burst
And all we could think was
This is life in colour
And we never wanted to go back
Jan 2018 · 106
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
Today was a bad day
All because some guy didn't want me
How pathetic is that ?
Well what's more pathetic is that it just makes me want to come crawling back to you because atleast I know  that you wanted me
That's what's really pathetic
Jan 2018 · 647
Save me
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
You know sometimes I close my eyes
And pretend everything is alright
But my imagination isn't working and I can't pretend anymore
No matter how much I try
Jan 2018 · 122
Unwritten messages
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
I want to talk to you
But if I'm being honest , I don't know what to say
Jan 2018 · 186
The collector
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
He appeared one day
Unannounced and unexpected
Completely out of the blue
Something drew me to him
Maybe it was his secret darkness

He once told me he was a collector
And I , being the naive child I was , asked " of what , toys , trinkets or dolls ?"
He simply said " of all ."
And I couldn't quite comprehend what he meant
So being the child I was I forgot and instead told him stories of good and evil

Looking back I realise what he meant
He collected us , underage , vunrable, wanting love
We were like toys , trinkets and broken porcelain dolls

He put us up on his shelf , to be admired
After he was done with playing with us , he moved on
To a new toy , one much more naive

And then I finally realised what drew me to him
It wasn't  his secret darkness
But rather my inevitably to see it wasn't a secret
It was plain as day
And I being naive
Thought it was a secret he only told me
It made me special
But In fact it only made me one thing
Easy , easy prey for a cruel unforgiving beast
Known as a collector
It's not particularly about my life but i thought of it wanted to write it down .
Jan 2018 · 179
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
I would have given anything for you to be real
For all your terrible flaws to be real
I would have given anything
But in the end you were only a dream
Made up by a cruel puppet master
Pulling my strings , causing me to love a dream
A dream that has now turned into a pitiful
Gut renching , tear jerking nightmare
A creation of a cruel puppet master
A deceptive puppeteer
Jan 2018 · 150
What a bore
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
I'm bored
Tell me a story
Sing me a lullaby
Make my troubles disappear
****** my hair to calm my restless mind

I'm bored
And all I want is to give you a call
So that you can help
But funny enough
You never answered
Oh what a shame
You bored me anyway
Just something I came up with while being completely bored :)
Jan 2018 · 96
Rainy days
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
My eyes
Forever at war
Your eyes
Forever a mystery

What a couple we made
For war is complicated , never truthful
You were like war
But you were also different
You were complicated and never truthful
But unlike war , your deception never ended
War always has an end
Tragic or harmonious
It always ends
There was never an end to you
So at some point I stopped reading your story
And put it aside
For a stormy , rainy day
You know , who you are . And I'm not going to pretend to say something poetic to fix this . You know what you've done . But just in case you don't know this is for you , remember sunshine isn't real . ( sorry to those people  who have no clue what this means , it's for someone specific )
Jan 2018 · 222
Deaths light
Shadowhollow Jan 2018
The city lights are blinding
They are beautiful yet polluted
Filling this world with dreadful disease

The city lights are blinding
They take away your sight
Making you walk this world blind unknowing to its dangers

The city lights are blinding
Making all feel forevermore alone

The city lights are blinding  
And Iam blinded by there dreadful beauty
Just something I came up with a while ago .
Dec 2017 · 343
Shadowhollow Dec 2017
Perhaps this is what love is
A string of words
That have no meaning and no future
Just worthless fillers
Used to make me feel better
Dec 2017 · 294
My magical time machine
Shadowhollow Dec 2017
I close my eyes
And suddenly a gust appears
Sending all into shivers
I light whisper and whispering follows
I feel things settle on my nose and lips
My wind goes wild
I can feel what is about to come
I open my eyes and right before me , laid at my feet is a winter wonderland
And I am like a kid again
Could This strange sparkling white stuff be a time machine
Could this solve our quest for immortality
Cause I'm feeling like a little kid again
Like I haven't aged a day
What a wonderous thing is my magical time machine
Would you like a go ?
It's snowing outside so I thought I'd write a poem :)
Dec 2017 · 156
Blue , purple , red
Shadowhollow Dec 2017
Your shirts are stained now
In a colour so deep , can you guess how ?
Your fingers are blue , fragile and cold
Your body will soon never grow old
Maybe that's what immortality is
If so , I've been immortal for some time cause of this
Pain , it's unbearable
It's unchangeable
im drowning
And believe me it's not a good feeling
So I continue
Till my end is due
And my song will be the haunting melody
A lonely harmony
A Blue , purple and red
there's nothing left to be said
My shirt is stained
Oh what a shame
Dec 2017 · 193
Into the wild
Shadowhollow Dec 2017
The water crashed and churns
As it leaves my body and then returns
The wind tosses and turns
As it gives me sweet kisses that burn
The smoke escapes my lips
Sending a warning to incoming ships
The wild calls
Telling me to jump , no matter the fall
The adventure awaits
Deciding all our fates
Just something I got inspired to write .
Nov 2017 · 114
Parasitic love
Shadowhollow Nov 2017
I never knew I could love
Till I saw you
I never knew it could feel this good
It burns like fire on firewood

I never knew that it would hurt this much
When you leave me without your touch

Oh what a wonderful drug
To be paralysed by a hug
Oh what a fool I was to think you felt the same because
You never did oh what a shame
Your not someone that I can tame
I got inspired to write . Not much meaning behind It tho.
Nov 2017 · 164
Broken record
Shadowhollow Nov 2017
She was like a broken record
Repeating her song of lies ,good faith and happiness
And they all judge her
But can't they hear it
There song
It's repeating  
Maybe someone should let them know
Nov 2017 · 121
In another life
Shadowhollow Nov 2017
You've hurt me so much
And maybe I forgive you too much

And I cry my last tear
Hoping you'll come and take away the fear
That you'll never come back
That maybe this pain is payback

But I'm not sad
I'm not even mad
Because with each word I write I remember
I'll remember this every November
I'll Remember each word, lie or truth
Because they are apart of my youth

And I don't hate you
Please believe that as true
And if you ever come back
Just give my door a whack
But for now , you know how I feel
And that's a good enough deal

Maybe in another life
There will be no strife
Maybe it could be different
And everything else will feel insignificant

But for now
This is all that will be allowed

You'll be my lonely apollo riding from dusk till dawn bringing and taking the light from my world
Forever apart of my dream world

We're like the edge of a blunt knife
That is perhaps beautiful and sharp in another life
i poured everything I have into this . All for you ...
Nov 2017 · 160
Shadowhollow Nov 2017
Her eyes were once full of love
Full of hope , that he'd be good for her

Her eyes are now dull , broken
Full of despair as she realised .....
He's no better than the rest
He went and  broke her heart

And that was when the girl thought what's the point? Cause love always leaves you the same way it found you
Broken ,
Full of pain.
So someone tell me what's the point ?
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