The eyes depict emotions,
The face may hide those notions,
But the eyes show the truth as whole,
They called Windows to the soul,
Everytime I looked into her eyes,
I know she loves me,
But never did her lips smile,
And into my heart never did she see,
Or maybe she learnt to use her eyes,
To deceive me.

Snap open the Smith and Wesson,
Model 19 six gun,
Empty the barrel, sound of bullets is fun,
I place a single bullet,
Along my sleeve the barrel I run,
And snap it back to place,
I ask myself with a straight face,
Did she really love me?click,
A blank,
Will I ever find love again?click
Another blank,
Will I ever be set free?click
A blank,
Losing love has made me lose fear!click
Another blank,
******* WAS IT MY FAULT?CLICK
BANG!
the sound made me see stars,
But I was not dead,
I did not feel,
Warm blood trickle down my head,
No pain,
What if this is death?,
I look at the vintage gun,
Smoke rises from the chamber,
The hammer was rammed,
The bullet was jammed,
I down a glass of whiskey single malt,
I have my answers now,
It never was my fault!

There was a time,
I cried and cried,
Because I had a dream,
That my parents died,
So realistic it seemed,
And I thought,
How long would they live,
They won't be there all the time,
At one point I must leave them,
At one point I'll never see them,


For four years,
I have had these great friends,
But then suddenly a rolling tear,
They won't be there for long,
They will go their own way,
They will move on,
I feel this guilty pain,
In a few months I may,
Never see them again,
Just memories,
All the fun memories,
Oh the crazy memories,
The happy memories,
The struggle memories,
The jokes and chats,
The stories and back pats,
All those will be missed,



My parents have years to live on,
And those years,
I must make the most of it,
Play with them,
Laugh and joke,
Everyday just be there for them,
So when death parts them from me,
I will not regret it,
I will smile,
Behind the smiles all the memories,



In a few months,
My friends will go their separate ways,
Till then we have days,
And we play like crazy,
Spend as much time with them,
Joke & laugh like never before,
Do crazy stuff,
To be remembered by,
The nicknames,
The arguement,
The debates,
So when they leave for their future,
I will see them off with a smile,
Behind it every single joke and games,
Over the years,
The favours and mistakes,
The laughs and craze,
I will not regret it,

I don't want to leave anyone I've met,
Within my heart,
With regret.

Everyone I have met,
Have siblings,
And yet they don't find,
Their life set,
They complain out of their mind,
That wish their sibling they had never met,
That they do not belong,
But I tell them they are lucky,
And they think that's funny,
They ask why,
And I say,
You have a friend,
All the time twenty four seven,
U never feel alone,
Never truly feel loneliness,
There is someone,
You can talk to,
Open up to,
You won't tell your parents,
Deepest secrets,
But to a brother or sister,
Someone you can trust,
With someone a bond,
With someone memories so fond,
And you think being lucky,
Is funny and wild,
Clearly you have never been,
A single child.

Poetry,
Started out as a hobby,
Encouraged by family,
Write on topics variety,
Started with topics like,
Sleep,dream,summer,music,my bike,
I realised what gives my poems emotions,
I write about my life,
About love,
About death,
About happiness,
And sadnesses,
Later did I realise,
Poetry,
Went from a hobby,
To a therapy.

Anxiety
Every little sound seems loud,
Sounds of footsteps pounding in my head,
Everyone is talking loudly,
Even if I don't want to,
I can still hear what they say,
I bite my nails,
Always fidgeting like a dogs tail,
I grit my teeth,
Keep tapping my feet,
I feel uncomfortable talking on the phone,
I can  hear leaves being blown,
I am nervous in a crowd,
Afraid of sounds so loud,
Fireworks scare me,
Movie halls scare me,
I wake up sweating always,
Carrying a coin with me always,
I feel safe with it,
When tensed I bite the back of my hands,
I feel calm,
I listen to music all the time,
I like to be silent like a mime,
I feel calm by the sea,
Or in the rain,
The sound of water is soothing,
The waves rolling,
Hitting the rocks,
I get distracted easily,
But can focus like crazy,
I have something called,
Anxiety.

Why must it be like this,
Why is the person,
That used to be my cause a happiness,
Now the sole reason for my sadness,
I can never look into those eyes,
That I blindly trusted,
Pieces of my heart u pick,
Everytime I see you I feel sick,
What made me happy the most,
Now kills me from inside,
And the pain of seeing you everyday is the worst.

Every night when I close my eyes,
My body becomes cold as ice,
And I find myself in a boat,
Rowing towards the coast,
Awaiting my arrival was she,
Standing there with unimaginable beauty,
She was not from the human world,
She was from mine,
A figment of imagination come alive,
I beach upon this lovely land,
She greets me by her hand,
And she takes me away,
To show me what lay,
There was music,
There were animals,
There was peace and serenity,
There was deserts,
Snow,
Forests,
Trees that glow,
It was the perfect world,
I sat with her and talked and talked,
All about my world,
And then she stopped,
For time was up,
I had to go back,
She walked me back to the shore,
And there was the boat,
Upon the water it sway,
I stood in it,
And it drifted me away,
And I woke up.

Another night I close my eyes,
And again my skin turns to ice,
And i am back to paradise,
But followed me was hell,
A girl from the human world,
She could follow me because,
She used to be my world,
And along with her she wrought despair,
And sadness to this paradise,
I pushed her in the water,
And watched her sink with a smile,
The sun shone again,
Brighter than ever,
And there never was no pain,
Forever,
Time was up,
I woke up,

The next night,
I fell asleep,
And the wooden boat creaked,
And I was back to my kingdom,
And there was my queen,
Beautiful as ever,
She was smart and clever,
We spent the whole time,
In each others company,
By eventually,
Time came finally,
At the beach,
She said innocently,
'you don't need to go back ',
And I realised she was right,
I didn't have anything in the human world,
All I did was fight,
With myself,
And so the boat drifted away,
Alone and empty,
For I decided to stay,
Not that I wished to return,
But never again,
Was the boat noticed,
From across the plain,
Years went by,
Spent with the girl named Sophia,
And I have finally found,
Utopia.

Always there when you needed,
But when I had feelings..you Faded,
Last time my heart shredded

I.....
Wear glasses,
Because weak are my eyes,
Am one of those backbenchers in classes,
Cracking jokes and breaking the ice,
Upon my lips always a,
Sweet,
Mischievous,
Caring,
Smile,
I try to be the perfect friend,
Take the blame in the end,
Play lots of sports,
Mastered games of all sorts,
Teacher's pet,
Prefer when a plan is set,
But it's all the face of a card,
That's all a façade,
In reality I'm a mess,
Always high on stress,
An emotional wreck,
Overthink every little thing,
I'm the Joker in a deck,
Unwanted and ignored,
I find joy in being lonely,
For then nobody I can trust,
And words won't hurt me,
I may look strong to see,
But inside I'm very weak,
It makes me sick,
Sadness is a pain,
But in it I feel a dark pleasurable gain,
And it kills me from inside,
It is how I am as a person,
It is my style,
My life now,
For tomorrow is another day,
Before everyone I have to dawn a smile..

What happens when someone dies?
I say,
There is an island that meets the eyes,
And slowly float from life away,
Upon the banks the perished soul lies,
For now it is free and must find a way,
For eternity to survive,
For maybe the soul can die,


What happens when someone dies?,
I say,
They see endless white light,
And they see what's most precious,
It can be a sight,
To the eyes gracious,
It removes the fright,
It may be deceiving,
From the pain,
Of dying.


What happens when someone dies?,
I say,
A person hears his worst lies,
Has to suffer the guilt,
Of the pain inflicted on many lives,
It is endless suffering,
For those who ignores the forbiddence of sinning,
They suffer for all eternity,


What happens when someone dies?
I say,
They are set free from the shackles and tortures of life,
And that is the ultimate freedom,
For one to desire.

Here i am standing,
Feeling the cool air on my face,
The waves below swaying,
The edge of the bridge never looked grace,
Far below the water dancing,
My heart increased pace,
I could feel blood flowing,
It seemed like the perfect place,
Just one little step and I will be sinking,
Below the surface,
My mind is leaving,
From my body,
I can picture every detail slowly,
The smell of the sea,
The rust on the steel,
Every sense I feel,
One step,
And I will be free,
Then somebody spoke,
Sentence with words of three,
"I love thee",
I never knew who said that,
A man,
Or a kid,
Or a woman,
Thin or fat,
Black or white,
Somebody cared,
One person wanted me alive,
One person had hope,
And those three words,
Changed my life,
I cried and cried,
That night with a smile I slept,
Glad I didn't take that one step.

At two in the morning,
Heavily raining,
On my window someone is taping,
I open the window,
And I feel a chilly wind blow,
I feel someone's cold fingers
On my brow,
And feel it roll down,
There is silence,
The sound of rain in the distance,
And the scent of rain,
The it's darkness,
But it is calming,
A moment I get to witness,
A moment I'm living,
I never understood why,
People don't like rain,
It not that they are dry,
The rain is beautiful,
The sound,
The smell,
The water hitting the ground,
A story to tell,
Under the rain,
To wash away the pain,
It is life,
It is rain.

Sitting in an open cargo carriage,
Feet dangling off the edge,
With you by my side,
The world sailing passing by,
Look into the distance,
Into the green mountain side,
Cranking of the train pistons,
Just with you by my side,
Spark of love in your eye,
Living the best life,
Carefree and wild,
The wind against my skin,
The silence within,
The warmth of the sunlight,
Infront the world will glide,
Nothing is more precious,
Than you being by my side.

Some days I cannot write,
My words do not rhyme,
No words in my mind,
And it is scary,
For I want someone to read my story,
I want to express my deepest emotions,
I can write freely,
Writing is all I have left,
It is my heart,
My soul,
On me it takes a toll,
But who cares,
I just want to write my story,
Atleast something,
That keeps me happy.

Poetry
The brilliance of the mind,
To craft words,
Delve deeper into the heart to find,
Raw emotions,
While writing I am blind,
To every other motion,
It's just me,
And my heart,
In its own way an art,
There is no stop or start,
There is just sadness,
Happiness,
And another life altogether,
Hidden from the world's,
Critic and evil,
Hidden from reality,
A unique story,
A story everyone shares,
A story everyone bears,
For better or worse,
This is a poets gift,
Or curse.

Walking in the rain,
Cool drops drip down my face,
The pleasant sound washes away the pain,
Dancing of water in many place,
The enchanting smell of rain,
Walking at a slow pace,
The cool wind against my face,
My soul it embrace,
And disappear without a trace.

Human life,
A complex journey,
Many emotional ties,
One prime story,
As time flies,
Some celebrated glories,
And many desperate cries,
Many broken ties,
Many spoken lies,
New milestones,
New Life goals,
A living poetry,
An enchanting story,
Lost memories,
The joy,
The ploy,
The struggles and ease,
It is god's,
Magnificent masterpiece.

I want to love you,
I want to kiss you,
I want to hold you,
I want to protect you,
But I am bound by these shackles of friendship,
When you ask what's on my mind,
I want to tell you the truth,
But all I say is,
A memory in lost in time.

I onnce saw a documentary,
a man with many voices in his head,
Everybody considers him scary,
And they tied him to a bed,
He was not evil,
Nor was his will,
He had this beautiful mind,
Craziest creativity he could find,
He was never alone,
Always someone talking,
With a different tone,
Everyone says that,
You get I be shot at life,
But this man has two,
Or maybe many,
Just because someone is different,
To an asylum they get sent,
And probably that's the end,
To their beautiful life

A little unique thought in your mind,
Can change the world,
The hidden potential you are trying to find,
Can change how clouds twirl,
Rich or poor,
It can change lives,
It is the future,
The greatest,
To solve any dilemma,
All you need,
Is an idea.

I have lost track of time,
Entered into the state of oblivian,
Trying to make words rhyme,
Repeating words that are written,
Same old drama in my mind,
My heart is love stricken...still,
Smd way I cannot find,
Throught darkness I trot,
The light at the end of the tunnel,
Is farther then I thought,
And it goes far and far away,
Taking my hope with it,
The only companian,
Is the darkness,
Something I'm afraid,
Words and a book and pen,
And the many voices in my head.

I had a best friend,
And I love her,
But I wanted this friendship to end,
My mind was a blur,
I don't know why,
I stopped talking to her,
Maybe it was because,
I found someone who cares for me,
And I didn't believe,
Cuz I refused,
No strings attached,
Now I wish I could apologize to her,
Because I will never find anyone,
Like her.

Assam is a place full of trees,
Green as it can be,
A place with cool breeze,
A sanctuary with animals free,
Here ones soul is at ease,
A place of tranquility,
A place where rice and fish,
Is a delicacy,
Celebrating the harvest,
With bonfires and dance,
A place to celebrate nature,
Here live many a tribe,
They provide with a feast,
Assam... The pride of the east.

I met a friend,
For what may be the last,
I longed to hold her hand,
But dare I,
Just admire her while she rants,
I longed to embrace her,
But I couldn't,
Cause I can't,
Watched her walk back all alone,
Anything I would do,
To meet her again,
All alone,
With all the time,
But now sitting amongst strangers,
I write this piece,
Feeling the breeze,
My mind not at peace,
Even though I achieved,
What desired the most,
Buzzed by a fly,
Or did I?

The door is partly open,
Smell of cigarette in the air,
Lying around crushed can,
Not a living soul present there,
The TV displays static,
The sound a blare,
It lights the room monochromatic,
Heavy pressure in the air,
A couch opposite the static,
In the seat a stain,
Next to it lying open,
A book by Mark Twain,
Lots of unopened letters by the door,
Old newspapers scattered on the floor,
The walls are cracked,
Water seepage,
The fan is creaking,
Swinging but not spinning,
Tied to the fan a rope,
At the noose a head,
Messy hair Stubby beard,
A soul who lost hope,
His feet off the ground,
And next to him,
On the floor,
A bent over,
Wooden chair,
No movement in the room,
To disturb the air,
And hangth there,
A man who tried to reach,
The toppled chair.