I don't want complicated
I want the drama of simplicity
I want a hand touching a hand
A smile from across a room
I want the disruption of wanting you
And the chaos of knowing you want me all the same
I want the tension of peace
The silences in your speech
Knees touching slightly as we take our seats
I want the dismay of being calm
Through the whirlwind of your charm
And the confusion of knowing it'll cause me no harm
I want a maelstrom in a stream of conversation
I want a derangement sans the complications
I want you
As simply as you want me
So how complicated could that possibly be?

i fall and shatter into so many pieces
that leave splints and gashes in so many people
that they fall and shatter
and lay here with me

I have you ever felt the rain
drip and drop directly onto your brain
And rinse his face right out of you memories
Causing a puddle to form under your heels
That eventually creates a river
And while the rain water causes your arms to shiver
You collect the broken wood from the wreck the storm left over
To build a bridge and cross right over

All my words are hollow
They echo inside
Like ting ting ting
They roll off my tongue
And sound good placed together
They are the shadow of real things
Just gray shapes with no real detail
A sight for the starer
But just a glace for the searcher
All my words
They barely cast shadows of their own
Because they are made out of nothing
Candy floss for the reader
Bubbles for the thinker
Pop, gone, pop, nothing
All my words
Have no thought
That is why they get none in return
Thoughts are formed of ideas and concepts and lingering things
Thinking is for the thinking man
Thoughtless things
Are not even things at all
They are just words on paper
Word from a tongue
That soon returns to air, and dust and hollow stuff
Nothing to become nothing
Think about it...
Nothing is nothing, right?

We Live In A Dog Eat Dog World
The principal rule of life
As beaten in every door
Is to get your fill
Of the the great big pie
That the world offers
But pieces don't have names attached to them
And there are only a limited amount of slices
So when in line
Standing one behind
Disregard its structure and the numbers that form it
And find the front
Quicker than your eyes can see it
As to not go hungry
Such is the way a human lives amongst humans
We are only food
To fill each others stomachs
And I've seen every type of meal
I've seen everyone devoured
Strange enough though
I've never seen a dog eat another dog

not all poems are deep
some are tiny khoi ponds
of bubbles that pop on our brains
and leak out of our ears
and drip blotchy squiggles on our pages
brain drops
as brains are used to float away
not just to think

Oh, Scarlet's got a boyfriend now
She says she thinks she found the one
Well I don't what love is all about
I'm happy for her anyway

Oh they say that "You've missed out"
Cause you don't understand the misery
Oh they say that "you've gotta find out
I'd rather keep it all a mystery

My friend don't you worry about me
I'm fine
I got my head on my shoulders
My friend only cares about things
like time
She say we're only getting older

I poured down my hands
And let them run down my sides
In a puddle of my own arms
I became a sail boat

I have to leak out
and spill over the edges
I have to be a nuisance to the passive state of things
If only just to be defiant
And scratch at the eyes of the flat environment in which people toil along their timelines without so much as a ripple to show for it
I have to let in the wind, and let it howl around my corners
and sock hop with me
I too often get bored of the sunshine that heats up stable things that barely move
I need storms and hurricanes
If only just to have something to say one day when youthful isn't how I'm described anymore
And the creases in my skin circle and intersect like a mosaic tapestry
And they ask for a story around the dinner table
Then I'll leak out all over again
In a violent rage
That will be a nuisance to the passive state of things

The sadness of our existence is that we have the enormity of pulsating breathing, conversing and erupting life bursting in and through our veins,
But we only exist to a tiny portion of the other existing objects that walk on and off the universal planes
And to most, we only exist to a tiny portion of our own brains

You like pineapple, you told me when we were eleven
The girl you dated last thought you liked watermelon
But I know you better, I've known you since we were four
But I'm not the girl you pretended to like melons for

Leave me
You following things
Stop sticking to my back like feathers
I am an ostrich
Stuck to the ground
I am a penguin
Slipping on the ice
I wish I could trade in these heavy wings
And sweep away these feathers
And take to the sky
Using nothing but my bare arms

Not everyone in the world
Wants to be like you
Or share your opinion
No matter how much you think that your are the ultimate being

You have a pretty kind of ugly face
With a silly kind of goofy grace
That I don't mind to see everyday
In a desperate kind of needy way

I wondered if he knew that my soul danced whenever he'd bite his lip and call me his girl
That the concept of myself being his in his head the made sweat form on my collar bones
That the very suggestion that other girls were just labeled other girls but I wore the label of 'his'
Meant that flowers could bloom and die, the sun could set and rise, the wind could blow and subside, but still within and outside
He was mine...

I used to drink alone,
But empty bottles emptied out the spaces between me, myself and I
Us three opinionated things accusing one another of being the godhead of our body
Talking until dawn about how ****** the beer tastes and hollow the bottles have gotten

she's just a baby regardless of the years
squeezed up next to him they cut the silence with beers
they drink to things she doesn't understand
innocent to the fact that he has bigger plans

A black bird on a bridge side
Sitting slightly on an incline
Tilts its head somewhat oddly
And squints at the wind as if he sees it passing
Is it too heavy a breeze
To fly with ease?

That Night...
When my mind and my heart agreed to love you
You gained ownership over my body
And it would forever long for you
Way after my mind and heart have forgotten why I chose you that night

I don't wanna wild
And I don't free
I don't wanna be swept away
By the wind you see
Take me out of the hurricane
Cause it's lingering
I don't wanna be lost in the moment



I just wanna be his

i don't breath anymore
i just let air pass through me
i am a vessel through which it travels
and becomes something else
something new
something it was always meant to be
i am its beginning and end
and it is the material with which i create
and form new creations
that couldn't have been without its life giving powers

we need each other
to be
and to become

Curses
Buttery words
your verses
hidden behind dark lines that drip from your lips
Rabid fox
scared puppy
to scared  to share how he feels
out on the front line
hidden behind the washing machine
Trying to act as if I can't see him
Trying to act as if he is a brick wall
But, you my dear, are just sand
sand that warps and crumbles in my hands
and falls on my toes
You're perfect
You're a mess
Held together by cigarettes and whiskey
Scream on, my perfect storm
Until the rain stops and there is yellow on the horizon

Drip drip drip
She enters leaking from every hole
Creating paddles on all my surfaces
Slip slip slip
I fall as I follow her
Sailing all my boats in her direction
Ship ship ship
On the oceans she makes
Sending me meandering merrily down the stream

You were my everything
                  and you left with bags of me
without all my stuff
                  possession-less
Nights still matured into days
                  days still died to nights
Flowers will bloom
                  regardless
Heaven will shine
                  regardless
And I'll buy all new stuff

The more I step into the light
The less the darkness offers me comfort
Soon everything will have a face
And all that I feared will be nothing but things I've come to understand

I fall I fall
On surfaces that
Are ***** and damp and clammy and flat
I fall and land, but curtsey and stand
And while the crowds, they clap
My dress, it hangs
Over feet that cracked
I am I am
A tiny glass house
And my heart it beats under a tightly wound blouse
That accentuates my chest and shows off the rest
But carves my bones and burns my flesh
I wish I wish
Upon a star
That looks down on us
And giggles from afar
That crowds, and their parties and mirrors and reflections
Could stop biting my heels and offering objections
But since the world is just but a boat
That everyone rows to stay afloat
And since this sea ask only for performance
I'll put on my dress and dance for my audience
And as they clap as I fall but stand
I'll whisper to myself a tiny demand
That the next performance won't be so long
And the dance and prance won't finish the song
That when I jump my glass feet will shatter
And I'll disappear from space and matter

drinking coffee to feel a buzz
doesn't take the place of feeling love
but feeling anything at all will be enough
to keep my waking hours from fading out

Hearts break as easily as little doll legs
How reckless of us to carry such a fragile belonging in our chests
And tie to it many heavy feelings
That often pull it down and stretch it to the ceiling
I wonder how it feels
To carry a cracked thing inside of your rib cage
And stuff it down behind each smile
Along with many packs of overused band aids  
How embarrassing it must be
To have to patch it up in public
Whenever the **** thing has a puncture
And leaks out over everything

How grateful I am for my untouched heart
That beats soundly in my chest without any harm
But those who lay in piles on the floor
With broken valves and countless tares
Look back up at me shaking their heads
For their hearts have felt
But mine beating but dead

I wish I could still be blown away
And taken by the innocence of the day
Could simple breeze flaw me please,
And teach me again what it means to be?

It was December and it was hot
And my skin got burned on top
Sticky wet feet
Ocean deep
I saw forever
Even if it was just a glimpse in twinkly waves a shore
I begged the sea to show me more
But the waves just retreated like they did before
And with my twelve year old mind, I lingered on the glimpse I saw
I held that glimpse, tiny, glossy, and vast
And surrendered my days to thoughts of future past
That image, so pure, that to it all new memories lost caste
I closed my eyes and allowed the present to dissolve

The years came soon after that moment it the sun
And with each new day my search begun
While scratching through hours to find the glimpse I gazed upon
It began to dawn on me that that moment was gone
Though as an adult, I still held on to the dream
That the sea would spit out at me
A moment in which I could believe
Truth took root, as dull and unforgiving as it is
That that moment was simply meant for a kid

So I packed my bags on that glimpse that I saw
And began living each day as blind as before
With no touch point in the future for me to search for
I threw that glimpse back to the shore

Torched my soul to cure the bleeding
Ate myself whole to stop the feeling
Burnt to a crisp, I stumble and fidget
The man at the back of me step forward and whispered
That it hurts when it hurts, there's no peace when healing

I live between your heart and mine
And am not inclined to either side

Webs
Strange how they only made of thin white hairs
They don't seem so scary when they dangling from an old lady's head
But when you caught in them,
Its hard to image them being harmless little strings of thread
I suggest caution around spiders
They hold a deadly weapon

I'd wished that there'd be magic in me
When I grew out of my pig tails
But
To my surprise
I was just another human
With blood
And Bones
And life to do
So much so
That I forgot about the magic
That I'd wished for all those years ago
And rather wished to be happy
Around these human bones

I've traveled through the night
Against the currents of life
So my troublesome soul
Can find a place to be called home
When I do, its coloured gold
So pure that I can barely hold it
Inside my finger folds

Writing for the sake of pen and paper
Driven by the a page break or two
I'll beat these margins until they're ******
Purple, red, and blue
Sticky bulges of ink oozing and raw
And by the  wake of my next page
I would have hungered for more
Chasing full stops is a daily pleasure
If emptying ink, its only just so a page can be filled
But to fill this page, there wouldn't be enough paper in the world
What is the point of all my scribbles
If only just to package up tiny  pieces of reality
Points of view crawling like baby turtles
Fashioned into pieces of paper that will eventually die before reaching the sea

The ideas turned to war because war gave them life
The war was a war because both sides were right
They fought for their honor and argued for pride
But pride turned to molehills because both sides had died

Don't think that I'm broken
Just because I crack
I'm shedding my skin
And I am healed because of that

You have now lingered too long
And have settled on hard parts
That are not too inhabitable by eyes that observe with love

Lets share some beers
To cut the tears
And leave the day behind us

In the morning we'll chat
About the riff and the raff
But for get beer inside us

Insecurities
Are friends to me
They stick closer to me than family
They sit opposite me at the dinner table
And are my plus ones at every social event
I can push them away
And ignore their eye lines
But when the crowds are gone
They are all that remain
And they'll never leave me
As loyal as pets
Closer than lovers
Always offering a hand
And word of advice
Until I drown out the words of everyone else
And they are all I have
And all I hear

I've thought about it,
Time and time again
I've thought about just splitting my chest open and letting myself spill out onto the dinning room table
And just leaving the mess there until its sticky and maroon
But I never do
My biggest fear though,
is not how painful it will be to slice through my own flesh
My biggest fear is that I'll never pick up the knife and actually allow myself to feel it

I'm not close to it
So I have no right to speak
My sympathy can reach out as far as its arms can
But its no my problem so it has no place to stand
I can keep my nose safely out
And no one will be mad because its not my bout
My day still looks the same
While yours has shifted into an different domain
And though I feel what you are going through
It will never mean the same thing to me as it does to you

I didn't die
I just surrendered
And of course, the wilting began soon afterwards

Time travels
Not through the bounds of time
As only moments exists in moments
The past is but cold seconds that no longer carry breath
The future is to be created at this very moment I write this pins it together
But time travels
And carries us with it
Like dazed passengers on a train
Dumping our belonging out of the windows in hopes of leaving bread crumbs to be followed
But only time travels
And tramples our footprints underfoot
Pushing forward
Mighty
Unstoppable
Unrelenting
Traveling unseen through the night
And as we are dragged along in its side cart
Without knowledge of our own journey
We look down at our present
All we know is now
This is how things are
It was like this yesterday
It most likely be like this tomorrow
Threading along a dimly lit timeline
As time travels

Simple pleasures
The simpler the better
Simple like your bare arms
They're strong and look it
I longed for purity
And you held me up with them
I could get cavities from this love
No added preservatives
Just
Soft
Fattening
Slow
Lovely
Love

Its all we need

I bled out
Repeatedly
Like a broken gum ball machine
tipping over every edge
leaving a mess outside of myself
For every one to see
All is out
I am empty
Living with an internal echo
I have to live with this mess on the floor
Ankle deep
Thick as mayo
Public
Billboard
Of my own thoughts

I carried my own body across the finish line
And there I sank to the ground knowing that my knees have earned the rest I give them now...

I'm in the wind about it
Blowing away
If I was to tell the story
I'd have nothing to say...

I moped around for hours
Dragging my feet and friends behind me
Turning my heart into slop
Clogging up every vein inside me