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I'm feeling all kinds of tired
Like I've lost a piece of my mind somewhere
In the blossom of a new desire
One for which I didn't prepare

It stalks me
I keep my eyes open out of fear
How can I return to the me I used to be
Because no matter how far I run it'll always be near
I
I think of her often
This beautiful force
I followed her into my head one night
And got lost
For goodness sake
My heart still beats
Air still crashes through my lungs when I breath
Veins still spit blood onto my skin when I bleed
My eyes still follow lines down pages when I read
My thoat still expands and contracts when  I eat
My waist still leads to knees then down legs to my feet
And someday you'll remember that  I'm still a human being
Even after I acted beast when I said those things
Mothers watched boys being stolen from their beds
In the midst of their dreaming
To become men that couldn't fend off the nightmares when they slept
When I was a drinker
I would swallow my weight
And lay weightless in the bathroom
Until I forgot  my  own name
It took hours to stop the bleeding
And years after
The wound was still healing
This is a short poem about the lasting impact of bullying and how it breaths lofe to many insecurities that lingers on years after the battering has stopped.
And so the lark sings
To the day's first dawning
Some dusty motel
Sees a woman fawning
And at once it's all over
For naught but for wanting.
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