Feelings are full of meanings.
Abandonment and pleadings.
Heart beatings.

Feelings are just sweepings
swept up off the floor from
pain frozen beings.

Feelings release the pain.
Which overreaches and falls.
Pain palls.

A dark cloud of dust
emerges to cloak
the feelings to black.

Feelings like seedlings
grow in the sun. Eclipsed,
the sun and feelings turn dark.

Bright, feelings ultimately
turn to gloom
Happiness vs sadness

Who wins?

The girl is now a woman
Fairy tales have faded into reality
As a child she knew everything
As an adult she knows nothing
Going down a road that leads to death

Life has been a rouse
A lie that gets older never wiser
Old age forgets what youth was
Youth can never know what age will be
Wrinkles are long forgotten smiles.

Age brings wisdom they say
But what if wisdom is with the youthful?
A wisdom lost as age advances
Older is not always wiser
Weakness is not always inexperience.

The girl is within the woman still
She waits until the mixture of her
Becomes a grace,her life stops being a race
Waiting, until at the top of the hill
She can race down.

Stamp your foot in the dust of time,
all that remains is a print, a memory.
Some of us stamp harder, the imprint is clearer.
Their names remembered, their deeds become history.
Their print is set, stuck in time.

Those that softly tread leave a fonder copy in the dust,
but like all faint threads they fade from memory.
Tender footprints imprint on the heart,
their tread copying the rhythm of the owners heart.
Their print is set, stuck in time, forever entwined.

How do you un-love someone?
How do you forget the way they walked, laughed and cried?
How do you turn off the ache in your heart at their memory?
How do you walk away, knowing that they never felt for you?

Do you repeat daily a ritual of pretence?
Do you cry at the beauty you've lost?
Do you call yourself a fool?
Do you look in the mirror and ask why?

Why did you not love me?
Why did I not get seen?
Why did you just want to be friends?
Why does it hurt? Still? Time is supposed to heal.

Words, like a fragmented mirror, piece themselves together
in lines of poetry.
Some words fit, some words fail,
all that is known, is that one minute these words were individual
now they are knitted together in sentences,
to become for some a resonance

I can recommend two things in life
Friends and shoes.
A friend will defend 'till the end
Shoes will let you cruise the streets
A friend will try to mend you when broken
Shoes will soften, and mould to you
Like a lover in bed.
Friends pick you up when you are down
Shoes become missiles ready to be thrown.
But, as a woman I can say the play
from shoes is better than friendly play,
Shoes attract, friends detract.
Both are needed
Just not on the same day!

Hush!
Listen do you hear the silence above the roar of life?
Hush!
Do you hear your heart beating to your life's song?
Hush!
Do you see the sky above blanketing and comforting?
Hush!

Do you feel the world spinning around? With you standing still upon it?
Hush! Sshhhh! Quiet.
Listen to the flow of earth's blood in her rivers and streams,
feel her warmth from the sun like an adoring parental gaze.
Touch her thrumming life in her growing forests, see her wonders created for us her children.
Hear her lullaby before she is muted, choked, buried alive by us, with
our waste, our destruction, deforestation, over fishing, hunting.
****** the fruitful earth 'til she our mother is barren and useless.

Mother Earth is weeping and above the roar of our selfish modern sound, we do not hear her crying, or see her tears silently falling.
Falling onto selfish mankind.
Gaia that great mother to all, giver of birth to earth and it's universe
is a woman reclining upon the earth surrounded by a host of jealous warring infant adults the fruits of her labours.

*Oaths sworn in the name of Gaia, in ancient Greece, were considered the most binding of all.

Monstrous earth goddess
Product of darkness
Harnesses gardens
Markets madness.

I have to
go out.
I want to
stay in.
Alone.
Please leave me
to myself.
The effort of
Conforming to
a Saturday night
will **** me.
I don't care if
you'll have a spare
ticket.
Leave me alone.
I hate getting ready
I hate being friendly
I hate crowds
I hate noise.
Silence.
I loathe Saturday.
I love my insanity.

A good thing happened tonight
I didn't take flight when you caught my hand
I felt your skin, warm on mine
It sent shivers up and down my spine
This wasn't a friend catching your hand and pulling you to play.
this was a love hold, that made me catch my breath.
I saw your eyes twinkling in the rays of the dying sun,
and caught the gleam of wickedness, drawing me in.
I spun to run but you held my hand, it's softness drawing me close,
I looked into your face, saw a deep blush and realised,you were afraid,
just like me. I caught your scent, clean, outdoors, shampoo,
even the faint hint of your gum, minty and fresh.
My head spun, my smile widened, my arms took hold.
We held each other for just a while, then with a smile we kissed.
That minty gum was like a cool spring, cold yet invigorating,
and like spring water we drank deeply.
We touched, we stared, we gasped, we laughed.
When we let go it was time to say goodnight.
We walked our separate paths, but before leaving we made sure
to adjust our dresses.
What conclusion would the neighbours come to?
Two teenage girls, clothes askew and florid faces,
whatever conclusion they came to, the truth would make
their hearts need pacemakers!

"Tales of gothic horror and romance feed on our darkest fears and desires"
said the dimly lit figure.
Sat by the fire, obscured by shadow,
I would have sworn it my doppelgänger.
Tell me your darkest secret and I'll tell you mine.
Tell me your story before the bells chime.
For when the bells ring we'll be out of time.
What is your darkest fear?
What is your darkest desire?
Pray tell me so that I can put out this quizzical fire.
I'm not a threat, neither good nor bad,
just nosy is all, looking to learn
seeking a spirit to join mine, I just yearn.
Damsels in distress, ruinous castles, cathedral spires tall
I've seen them all.
Brooding heroes, twilight trysts,
even the odd slick, slit wrist.
But hurry tell me what do you yearn?
For your telling I will return and I promise you life eternal.
Just sign your name binding our game

A colour of the spectrum
Located between blue and yellow

Poor, green, not as fresh as blue
Or as pretty and bright as yellow

Yet, it's the colour associated with
Springtime, youth, hope and envy.

Ahh, beware the green eyed monster
Jealousy, verdant grows within.

Green the most important colour of Islam
Celtic Ireland, verdant paradise

Camouflage, hide, conceal, all green
Youth hides it's innocence

Innocence, shaken on the boughs
Malachite, verdant, verdigris

How odd this colour means so much to so many
Europe and the US attributes the colour to the Devil sickness & death

But spring is life
Not death

Green for go, green for environment,for
Death, malaise, poison, British racing green

Such a small colour
Such large meaning

Beware the colour green
It has too many meanings, to many connotations

Gluttony always requires company.
What's the point showing off greed alone?
Gluttony has no policy of equality.
A glutton is accustomed to fatten his rotten soul.
Greed feeds the glutton, food, money, power, ***,
no thought for anyone but themselves.
Selfish to the core.
Excessive desire turning commodities
into necessities, the biggest car,
the flashiest ring, the biggest house,
the newest toy, but no joy.
The excessive desire
for the sin of want, Gula.
Gluttony

Dark is the night that woke you from your dream.
Dark is the cause of that frightful scream.

Fear comes knocking on the door.
Fear crumples you to the floor.

Silence is the reply.
Silence means they're nearby.

Softly creeping toward your room.
Softly heralding your doom.

Heart beats loud in your head.
Hearts that are no longer needed by the dead.

Dread and sweat pain your body.
Dread that you might 'see' a body.

Halloween that holy night.
Hallowe'en so full of fright.

I looked and saw for the first time today
My mothers hands
I'd seen them before of course
Yet, today as she passed me a cup
I saw her hands
I saw the paper thin skin
The wrinkles created by wear
The work that had made them crumpled
The love that made them soft
Her long fingers remain
Yet pain courses along with the blood
Gnarled joints reveal her time spent
Working, mothering, caring, loving and soothing
One day my hands will map my life
Just as hers do
But my hands won't match the
Pain, sorrow, hard work or
Mothering.

Happiness folds in on itself
like a piece of paper.

THE
HAT
ATE
THE
TEA
THAT
HATE
HEATE(D)*

The
Hat
Hated
Eating
That
Tea
But
The
Mad
Hatter
Insisted

Maybe it was my fate to always hate
To loathe and despise
After all love and hate they
stand side by side
at the same entry gate
into the mind.
Sedate I'd feel the need to vent
to isolate, to feel
Something, anything, a negative
rather than a positive.
To overstate my need.
My want to hate
would obviate and obscure my fate.
Hate doesn't differentiate
Hate needs no explaining
Emanate hate, and you are guarded
from others, and yourself.
Love allows disappointment
Hate allows the known.
Hate humiliates me, this I know
It manipulates, resonates and reverberates
But, this I know
Hate like a crow will pick my carcass
like carrion.
Please let love pervade
Please let love venerate
Please let love in at the gate.

Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?
Have you ever wanted it to be quiet, when it's loud?
Have you ever felt a stare, only to find no-one there?
Have you ever wanted to find out that the truth is a lie?
Have you ever wanted just to die?
Have you ever wanted to disappear never to return?
Have you ever felt a person's concern?
Have you ever felt the need to confirm your worth?
Have you ever felt circumstantial?
Excess to requirement?
Devoid of refinement?
At times this need within gets loose,
its box devoid of empathy and feeling
it leaves you reeling, freewheeling into nothing but oblivion*.

'Hello', said the voice from the darkness.
I'm back again.

I hate her.
I loathe her.
I despise her.
I abhor her

Detest, execrate, am repelled by her.

I am aggravated by her breathing.
I am repulsed by her being.
I am dominated by my hate for her.
I am filled with hatred for hating her.

*I humiliate myself by hating her, but it feels good

I thought you were my counterpart
the other half of my heart.
We shared a common goal,
a purpose only made whole by our pairing.

That goal I thought was love
You handled me with velvet gloves
I melted at your touch
But, your charm turned quickly to harm.

A slap here, a punch there, bruises
all concealed.
But, I don't like sharing,
My life, my dignity, with violence.

I am the composer of my destiny
You tried to alter it subtly
I commend you for your effort
Alas, you marred my heart.

My heart was horrified
Upon learning that your yearning
Was not for me, but for cruelty
You've tormented me for the last time.