Welcome to the land of golden trout
Where black bears roam and hawks still shout
In the eastern Sierras, hills of the west
Tales of the Adventurers and their first test.
Forming an alliance in Santa Cruz
They left together, unwilling to lose.
Packing up and heading down the trail
They knew as a team they would never fail.
Without a moment’s hesitation nor shred of doubt
The crew took their Tools of Tenacity out
And in less than three months flat
The Adventurers finished, exclaiming “that’s that!”
But who composes this mysterious crew?
Wait just one moment, I promise I’ll tell you.
First, there’s Nico the Noble, the leader so fearless
Who also frightens many when he’s not beardless;
Followed by Ben the Benevolent with his hearty laugh
And never without his Capitals hat;
Kahn the Courageous has his wild antics
Telling stories with Buckeye semantics;
Jamie the Just and her vegan ways
Had to eat lentils for most of her days;
See Jen the Jubilant with camera-in-hand
Shaving logs for as long as she can;
The team’s newest member, Maggie the Merciful,
Has now experienced the wilderness in full;
Tim the Wise lacks alliteration, unlike the others
But has chased many cows, some scraping their udders;
And at last there’s me, the Notable Narrator,
So our crew’s legacy can live forever.
In our quest the crew has changed slightly.
Those unable to handle the tasks lightly
Had left- like Mary, Bobby, and Stary the Skeptical
All well-admired, and mostly respectable.
Now let’s shift our story to the work completed
In the struggling meadow, its health near-depleted.
Using fallen trees that have long-since passed
We found a clearing with their numbers quite vast.
Cutting the deceased into sixteen-foot longs
And lugging them over thickets and bogs
Our team stacked them perpendicular
To the stream, or creek, in particular
And in a magician’s “ta-da!” moment
Water rose up to our new component,
Flowing over the freshly-made dam
Then briefly meeting with dirt and sand
At the bottom. Multiplied by thirty
And that was work: rigorous and *****.
But why were the Adventurers sent there,
To build check-dams and do repairs?
It was, in part, human consumption
That led to the meadow’s near-destruction:
America’s insatiable need for beef
Will not, for a long time, see any relief,
So Industry has pushed forward, sending cows to the fields
Grazing and growing to become our future meals.
But little did Industry know how devastating
Hundreds of cattle leave an ecosystem suffocating.
Trampling grass and dispersing banks underhoof
The bovine are easily guilty, there’s so much proof.
Stupid, noxious, and obnoxious creatures
Recognized by these, easily their best features.
Incessantly screaming day and night
They are more like demons by every right.
Yet the Forest Service lets ranchers send
Hundreds of cattle, seemingly without end.
And while the Golden Trout crew fixed things,
It’s not enough to ease the strain the cows will bring.
So what can we do, if anything at all
If we go veggie will Industry stall?
Can the end of beef save the earth
Is society only worried when we gain in girth?
That’s not for me to say right now
It’s up to you to answer the “how?”
But I digress, I must end the story
Of the Adventurers and their summer glories.
In the end they saved the meadow, saved the day
Held the bovine rampage at bay,
Raised water levels, erosion erased,
Then was the time to leave that place.
So the Adventurers hopped in their van,
Eight warriors mean, lean, and tan,
And took off down the mountainside
To Santa Cruz and the oceanside.
Each followed one’s own path
But only after taking many baths.
The Golden Trout legacy will live forever,
Only made possible by the best crew ever.
9/3/2012
(c) MDC
