"resurface" poems
Middle School
Full of friends and love
Hate and lust
Being thrown under the bus
Doing the right thing
Is harder than it sounds
Harder than it looks, too
Always wanting to be found
Rescued from the abyss
That feeds off of your sadness
That doesn’t know when to stop
That will make you collapse
Needing support
Wherever you can find it
Taking it from others
If it means peace
Life upside-down
Never know how
To turn your life over
That frown upside-down
So when you find peace
Wherever you find it
You never want to leave it
But sometimes you must
Coming back to resurface
After all the sadness
You see the world differently
Then you saw it before.
People can help
But sometimes they don’t
Sometimes they think their helping
But really they’re not
Don’t fall for the lies
The deceptions they place
To try and make you come with them
And do the wrong things
Because in the end, you’ll find
You never wanted to be with them
You just want to be you
And not just some hologram
Embrace who you are
And what you’ve gone through
No matter what it is
Walk up with open arms
Take what you have
And don’t worry about what you don’t
Because in the end, you’ll find
There’s nothing wrong with you
You’ve been through high times
And low ones, too
But no matter what had happened
You found your way through
Through the darkness, you emerged
Opening your eyes
To a new world of color
Without wearing a disguise
Learning who you are
Can change how you act
Change how you feel
Even change how you react
Because now you know
How to see in color
No longer in the darkness
World seeming brighter
Every day can be a good one
If you know how to live it
All you have to do
Is change how you see it
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 3:30 PM UTC
I still feel the distant gyrations
Of your eyes
When you’re off somewhere collecting
The marble shards
Of the skies.
And like the fall of roman nobility,
You always come again to rest
On illicit ground,
On my soft sultry breast,
Knowing that
Your past might resurface in a quick crimson breath,
Stealing you soon away
And yet,
Love is nearly as binding as death
In the provocative quiet
Of my soft bed.
For though convinced I was that we'd gone astray,
Truly fated, we were,
To this life that we've led:
To trust love no more,
Yet to love one
No less.
You're my exception, sweetheart--
A tasty poison, at best.
May 2, 2012
May 2, 2012 at 9:46 AM UTC
Wonder if when constellations do align
And universe would finally see.
Would it be presumptious of me
To claim that then, finally you'd be mine.
Wonder if my sense would triumph over
So that my heart would be muted.
With all its contents looted...
Would I only seem sillier?
Wonder if I walked away
In due course.
You'd then take my hand in yours
So that a minute longer I'd stay...
Wonder if you'd understand
When if these feet
Should choose to retreat...
That they had to... It wasn't planned.
Wonder if it'd make a difference
If I said that I had to...
Not for me but more for you.
Would we still be able to love in silence?
Wonder if you'd wish that you made it all clear.
Before the gravity of reality would crush us,
Before the vastness of uncertainty swallows us,
Before my presence would diminish and inevitably disappear.
Wonder if you find my pessimism exhausting.
The volatile nature of my moods...
Especially when I dive deep in solitude
And resurface with a trove of words that are no less than exasperating.
Wonder if you loved me enough
In a day...
To stop me from walking away...
Or loved me too much to plainly say
That...
Future's days would see us apart...
Future's moon would glow but not for us...
Future's stars would sing but not of us...
Future's sun would dry out the passion in our hearts.
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 9:04 AM UTC
It's a humorous thing
How scent can take you places
Past, present and future
Relive fury
Remember lust
Extract happiness
O sweet aroma
Teach me to conjure these feelings again
O masculine, divine smell
Covering my clothes
Filling the atmosphere with mesmerizing fumes
Intoxicating my mind with sensual aromatics
Drink me up
I will **** you in, I will take you in completely
Take me to far away places, dreams and memories of soft kisses and tender hugs
Of romantic dances and innocent laughter
Remind me of past events once enjoyed
Resurface memories far and near, quiet and loud
Let me live them once more
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 3, 2012 at 8:46 PM UTC
I’ll express what I know
To spare you your pride
And allow you to keep your secrets.
Lately, I’ve fallen
And not in the literal sense.
I [pause]
I’ve lost the meaning of life
There is no point for me to continue my journey
I’ve stopped exercising
I’ve stopped walking under the majestic sky
The clouds my safe haven
The blue sky my tranquility
I’ve stopped looking into the golden sunlight
Only for my skin to embrace its warmth
I’ve stopped breathing
Holding my breath, waiting for the beauty to resurface
For what I once saw has vanished
I see poison in the air, so I hold my breath
Hold my breath
As I run out of oxygen, my mind scatters
To how a human is the perfect invention
The perfect tool
For reason, understanding, and unlimited thinking
The movement of man
How angelic
Yet how insignificant
We are but one creation among billions
Our existence is only a hazard
To the perfect environment around us
The majestic sky
The clouds; my safe haven
The golden sunlight
All we have done is turn them to poison
To dust
I see you laugh, as you must think this a joke
Yet I must ask
What have you done
To save the one God that created the beauty and the destruction
Mother Nature herself?
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 4:02 PM UTC
My Insomnia is a ****
He keeps me up at night and keeps the end of my bed warm.
When the sun sets and the moon comes up, I should be dreaming of soft things or wacky situations that could never happen.
But instead, I'm trapped here, with my Insomnia at the foot of my bed, keeping me on my phone.
My Insomnia is a patient man.
I've tried, believe me, to ignore him. I've laid for hours in my bed, wrapped up in blankets.
I've counted thousands of sheep, let them hop to and fro from my bed to the door.
But he shoos them away when they get to close.
My Insomnia is a jealous man.
He doesn't like Sleep and her warm and gentle touches. He favors his cold and sharp hands.
He doesn't let her take me until he's had me to the sunrise, where I should be waking now instead of sleeping.
He keeps me until my eyes are stinging and I'm all but begging to be released. He let's go only because he'll return at the end of the day when the sun sets and the moon rises.
My Insomnia keeps me in a prison.
I can't see the night progress through the blanket I've hung up on my window, as a makeshift curtain to keep the sun out of my eyes as I sleep the day away.
The night pities me and the day yearns for me. My friends wait for me and my sisters lose patience as I miss out on plans. My grandma worries for me, and pulls me from the gentle embrace of sleep.
My Insomnia is a cruel man.
He keeps me chained to my phone and my computer, to the horrors of my mind as I only seek relief through sleep.
The chains used to cut when I was eleven and so exhausted and so confused when he had first graced the end of my bed.
But now, when I'm edging into eighteen, I'm only tired and defeated. I can only let him run his course, and wait for school to arrive so I can imprison him with sugar-coated pills bought over the counter.
My Insomnia is an *******
For even as I drift off in the warm arms of Sleep, I can see him drifting above my bed.
He whispers promises to return at the end of the day, to which he always does, to torment and keeps me awake until my eyes burn.
To keep me awake until I regret everything and burn in memories that resurface when the sun has gone away, and Sleep can't protect me.
My Insomnia has an iron grip on me, that not even Sleep can break as I rest in her golden arms and breathe in her strawberry hair.
My Insomnia is a spoiled man.
And he always gets what he wants.
Jul 1, 2019
Jul 1, 2019 at 4:58 PM UTC
I try so hard to scrub him off me.
It has been over four years and I still scream in the night.
The feeling is so suffocating that when I open my lungs, dust puffs out.
All I have left from him is layers over layers over layers of insecurity and fear.
When you ask me if I liked that, I smile and nod and yes yes of course,
But I can’t even feel it anymore.
Sometimes I am so numb by what has happened to me and my protective mechanisms resurface
Blocking every sense of touch and emotion that I have,
Giving you the show that I was taught to give.
The only feeling that remains after we have *** is the feeling of another man’s teeth sinking into my neck,
Clamping down on the blood flow to my brain,
Knocking me out in a much more pleasant way than when he would with his fists.
No matter how raw I scrub myself, his fingerprints and bruises linger.
I love you.
I am trying to forget him.
I am shaking in your arms and it is for all the wrong reasons and it has been a year,
A year into this beautiful life with you and I still don’t think I have told you.
It is not your fault, I know that.
What I don’t know, is if it was mine.
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 12:50 PM UTC
one time mary lambert told me that i am a ******* tree stump so i went outside to absorb the earth
always take time out of every day to go out without shoes on
feel the grass beneath your feet and between your toes
go out in public without shoes as well
do not be self-conscious
do not blush and curl in your toes when people stare
always remember that feet are weird anyway
always be proud of your weird parts
one time i did dxm and almost puked
laying in the cool dewy grass made me feel better though
i couldn't fathom how beautiful everything was in that moment
(i do not condone the use of drugs)
one time there was a time when i didn't need nicotine or drugs to feel better about myself
i miss that, that time in my life
i'm getting better though
i hope you are too
i hope you get completely naked before a shower and while the water's heating up i hope you look at yourself and touch all of you and i hope you slide your hands down your ribs and hips and think ******* i am one **** fuckable ************
because that's exactly what you are
i don't want this to be a cliche "u r beautiful" thing but i think that's what it's turning into
a cool thing about life is that when you cry your cheeks get stained with black but it always goes back to normal
your skin, that is
a cool thing about you is that you are like your skin
a cool thing about your skin is that it's always changing, always shedding, always growing
what i'm trying to say is that nothing is permanent
that you aren't always gonna be stuck in this **** hole
that you'll always find a way to resurface
that you aren't just a crack in the cement, you're the whole ******* city
haha, i love you you stupid head
a lot of people do
be kind to others because we're all just dumb beautiful walking flesh things
smile at every stranger and love like plants do
i don't care what you say, you are someone's sun
so shut up with all that "i'm worthless no one will ever love me" crap
be a conceded ********
love yourself
disregard rude remarks
basically be like kanye
u do u booboo
keep all of this in mind the next time you're afraid to go out in a certain outfit or to change your hair or to wear lots of makeup or no makeup or eat or any ******** nonsense you wanna do. please just do it. dont be a *****
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 11:46 PM UTC
Desires feeding our souls
Gnawing and eating our flesh, until we're a vulnerable flush red
Our pores exude the confident strife
A conflict that should have never arrived
To resurface our skin, bring back the childhood mind
I still see the eight-year-old awkwardness,
holding a staple makeshift poetry book and pen
The young struggling mind, when dying was simple to find
Daily I walk into the aroma of the sunlight
Intricately snipping roses off their vines, soaking in their beauty as my fingers sting and bleed
A decade incomplete
She never stopped being a victim long enough to realize her heart was revitalized, made into an equal whole
A rose petals thirst satisfied
No insignificant being
She was now a family
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 6, 2016 at 5:13 PM UTC
I am swimming
In darkness
Trying to resurface
But there’s something in my way
Holding me back
Pushing me down
I struggle to keep my head up
If I can get it up at all
I’m drowning, drowning
Sinking deeper
While you sit and wait
For me to find my strength
And join you.
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014 at 11:32 AM UTC
.
••••••
••••••••••••••
•••• ••••
•••• ••••
•••• ••••
•••• ••••
•••• ••••
•••• ••••
**•let my secrets be buried unknown•
never to resurface, never again shown•one
mistake was all it took...•invested my heart
in an unassumin- g crook•that was
enough to set m- y world on fire•
fuel for wagging to- ngues' desires•days
only elapsed with l- eers from disgusted
eyes and whispere- d mocks•time was
inconsequential o- n faceless clocks•
a hard lesson lea- rnt, painful price
to pay•now i have my secrets heavily pad-
locked... and the key thrown away•
••••••••••••••••••••••••**
.
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016 at 9:59 AM UTC
May the birds of happiness
Always sing your songs
True friends stay together
Have you ever bumped
into a friend expectedly ,
You stop, you greet
You exchange small talk,
However, as they walk away
for a moment you wish
You wore a veil
just to avoid that road block
Without the willow sigh of... oh ****
Suddenly the memories
Of your friend resurface;
You slowly looked back and wave goodbye
With a pleasant smile upon your face
Was that Betty or Mesha B?
Memories are supposed to last forever
True friends stay together
However, it's so hard to remember the names
of old friends from your past
Without losing that gap of time and place
A loss or change, healing or new beginning
When everything changes; it changes everything
However, as the conversation end
With “Oh isn’t it a lovely day”
It was so good to see you my nameless friend
despite the memory loss
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 1:40 AM UTC
I just feel Worthless
The feeling is Ageless
That just leaves me Breathless
I belong in the Circus
I throw everything in the Furnace
with the non-stop Searches
to dispose of the Heartless
for those who deserve to Resurface
I just feel... Worthless
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 30, 2016 at 10:21 PM UTC
The past has a way of catching up with you
Like a crash that beats the hell out of you
And what you thought were memories
Only fragments and forgiven stories
Are moments that you relive again
How could it, once more, happen
All the smallest details resurface
Of that day, and of that place
Unglued, on this pavement
Fray seems not transient
Past is still a question
Present in equation.
But all of a sudden
You notice this man
One stroking your hand
Reassuring you can stand
You smile because it is true
Got the tools to get you through
History has a way of repeating itself
But time lets you take care of yourself
Though you might experience a similarity
You know each day is new and has its own story
And when you forget, those are angels that God sends
Telling you time travel will never feel like a burden again.
May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012 at 6:37 AM UTC
I think I understand hookups and one-night stands now.
The key to moving on is to replace all that stood before
until there stands nothing that may cause you to unravel.
Moment by moment,
conversation by conversation,
I replace the replays,
I can't bear the thought
of another touching me, like I'm not yours.
I got another ring today, all big and loose.
It's funny how I picked this one,
it keeps slipping off my fingers like you did.
It's been two months since I last wore your ring.
I don't see a difference between them,
it feels the same on my thumb.
and that should be the end of it,
but oh well, I guess it isn't.
I walked to the grocery store, paused at an aisle,
took my time frowning over chocolate bars.
You used to get me Munch, and so I picked the Mars bar.
I don't skip meals now, (well, most days I don't)
and in place of our routine conversations,
I play a random show.
I drown noise with noise.
My days are decent.
I'm surrounded by mindless jibber jabber.
I participate.
I paste a bright smile.
“You look well now,” they say,
“Well, I am” I reply.
And I am fine. (I think I am?)
9/10 times I am.
Then in a random mundane moment,
memories of you resurface like a ring light and
in that single moment,
I let myself crumble.
“I don't want him back.
He's changed now.
So have you and so what?
If it's meant to be, it'll be.
He's the love of my life.
Well don't let him in,
when (not if) he comes back.
Do it from love, not for it.
You deserve happiness.
Both of you do.
You want love.
You are love.
The ocean doesn't look for its water,
Why will you look for what you have?
It is what it is.
and this too shall pass.”
So on and so forth my inner monologue goes on,
and I stare at my phone wondering if I can conjure you from my thoughts.
I am kinder now.
With myself, and everyone around.
I wish I were kinder to you, but I was just a child.
I know you're proud,
and I am of you too.
Do you think I can sculpt my favourite version of you?
Wait, no.
I already did that,
I loved all of you
and then everything fell apart.
My thoughts swirl and I let them play.
Incantations in my head
Obligatory 3 am, weary sighs, contempt and rage.
Oh, so much rage.
Where is the calming lull of sleep, when you need it to sedate your despair?
Resignation sets in, I play a familiar game.
I ask the universe and unbiasedly it delivers the same day.
"Universe, give me a sign, I'm really done this time.
Yellow flowers if he's coming back,
Dandelions if he's not.
Universe let me move on. This is the last time, "
In my version of He loves me, he loves me not
I break flowers, not petals.
I look for answers in colours and not action,
And then I saw a dozen Dandelions.
Jan 17, 2024
Jan 17, 2024 at 4:40 PM UTC
Enter the dark parts of my mind.
The pieces that aren't really pieces
but are like the vast black holes
sprinkled throughout the universe
You'll never leave
imprinted in my gray matter forever
Lost and spinning
You may resurface every now and then,
forcing my brain cells to collide and remind me of you
I wish I could rip you from my memories,
extinguish the artificial light you emitted
But what would happen then?
What is a thing without what came before?
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 10, 2019 at 1:01 AM UTC
Dear tired soul,
I have been on that couch many times before
The empty sheets that sit at your feet
Before falling to the floor
The empty pages of memories you flip through every night
Before gracefully falling asleep as the last tear falls on the pillow cases
Stained with liner and half-met dreams
There are moments you stare out the window
The sky so bright you close your eyes and go back to that all too familiar place of darkness
The same hiding place you've led yourself in for years
Thinking no one could find you and your imperfections there
But praying that someone will
I have lured myself in the same corners you've cozied up to, tired soul
Made a home out of the shattered pieces
Of distant, repeating glimpses of the past left after the free fall
My heart has sunk deeper and deeper
But take peace in knowing that as it sinks, it does get stronger
And that one day it will learn how to resurface itself without you even trying
Dear Tired Soul,
Despite the world's constant feeding of negativity towards their conjured up idea of selfishness,
I want you to know that it's ok
It's ok to put yourself first
It's ok to let go
It's ok to take a break
You can not move forward if you do not take the time to pry yourself out of the chains that have dragged you down
Seek consult from those you want to emulate
These things do not make you selfish
They make you better
Do not force yourself to pretend
Your bones have quivered long enough
Your muscles are tired from holding up to their "perfect" standards
You were never meant to be perfect
You were meant to beautiful
You are beautiful, and will always remain to be
Dear Tired Soul,
You are loved
Beyond the stars and the skies above
Your maker has caught every drop of sin from your body
You need not to worry any longer
Seek rest in Him who gives you the strength to open your eyes each day
Take pride in these little accomplishments
Cover your ears from those who tell you otherwise,
For they do not know the excruciating ordeal you go through each day you get up from bed
The sudden battles that errupt within yourself
Whether it be 10 stories high looking over the city or on the ground when you look over your scarred wrists
Of whether you should give up, or give yourself another chance
Open your heart to what He tells you
And wait for the day when the suffering is over, and the crying shall seize
You are tired, my dear
But you are far from being defeated
I hear your pleads, as I have heard mine sounding the same
You will be alright, tired soul
We will be alright
Apr 9, 2016
Apr 9, 2016 at 4:12 AM UTC
If you look closely
You will see
The cracks and fault lines
That comprise me
From the outside, to the unattuned eye
I look like a normal vase,
For the glue is now dry.
Truth be told
I was smashed
Obliterated
Pieces essential to my core
Strewn haphazardly across the floor.
But thanks to those that saw me,
And a little internal conviction.
My pieces have been collected
My old form resurrected.
Thanks to a little glue
I appear to be almost brand new.
But don't be deceived
For what you perceive
Should not be completely believed.
For the vase is very fragile,
Not to be toyed with.
Not a player's game.
Please don't mishandle me,
And resurface days of misery.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 9, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
My hearts skipping beats right now,
the thought of everything that has ever happened comes crashing down,
I can describe the feeling as uncharted land,
I've never been here before,
never thought I'd land,
I sit up and breathe the fresh air,
the sent of flowers and the rustling of birds,
I've woken into a paradise,
I thought I'd never hold,
I start walking through some fresh cut grass,
the smell reminds me of a summer that i wish would forever last,
I come across a field of wheat,
I reach out and touch a feeling so sweet,
at the end of the field i see a tree,
It's beautiful and it has brown autumn leaves,
I sit under it and wonder how it can be so soothing even during a storm,
I stand up and keep heading south untill i reach a waterfall,
the water falling so peacefully without a care in the world,
the sound of it is like music to my ears,
i dive into the clear water and resurface without any fears,
as i wipe the water from my face everything has become clear,
there you are with your field colored hair,
those brown eyes i fall into without a care,
and oh your heart,
my beautiful waterfall,
so clear and so certain it's like a mirror without a wall,
so as i open my eyes i begin to see,
my paradise is you always smiling at me.
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 25, 2018 at 4:18 AM UTC
You say life is but a dream.
Well then when will I wake up?
I'm tired of living in this lie.
This fantasy.
You've diluted these waters I swam in.
You've poisoned my sweet serenity.
How could you ever look me in the eyes and tell me the truth?
You have drowned me in my own existence.
I'm struggling to wake from this nightmare.
I can barely tell right from wrong all while I'm trying to right the wrong you've perpetrated against me.
I'm struggling to resurface.
You constantly hold my head under while I drown away.
And now I've become the deadpool.
So come and take a swim.
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014 at 12:21 AM UTC
Awaiting was I,
patience safely intact.
As the wind so fiercely flew,
it blew my patience, away too .
How rude.
Walking was I, now,
confused was how I felt
as a sudden overwhelming sadness
Tore it's way through my body,
thrusting through my chest spitting tears upon my breast.
I stumble as my pace starts to increase...
it's thoughts of you that surfaces to my brain..
how dare you settle amongst my mind
how dare you resurface when I had this all sorted out
How dare you pretend you know me when I no longer know myself
How dare I contradict the very essences of my being through, thoughts of you.
A way with you distraughting thoughts, for you have always had a way of fracturing my fragile mind...
The rain she came and put me to more shame.
lame is my heart as my thoughts would not depart.
You may not be the first but, my God, I hope you are the last.
for you make the sun shine through my rain you are the stillness to my day
you are the laughter that chokes my throat.
I know you are with another, but I'm not just any other.
I don't wanna be with you for that repulses my conscience brain, even though I feel for you so.
I want you to take this all away way, shove it in a bottle and chuck it out to sea
for the lovers that we will never be, to greet.
The echo of your "tomorrows" still ring in my ears,
Tis the creases upon your smiling face, I would still love to embrace.
I know i said tis the happy you i'd chose and refuse the grump that most times appears..
but i fear that it's the all of you i'd like to greet when it shows to my feet.
I heard me beat in side your heart once upon our time...
Don't tell me it's normal to feel this way.
Don't tell me this is how it was all meant to be
and that you were meant for me
For it's still her untouched body that i crave
what happen to my brave..
did you take that from me to the day i spoke to you...
-Yanehs magta
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 7:43 PM UTC
Drowning is the feeling
Where you can't catch a breath
Where your eyes fill with water
Where you can't resurface
Where your darkness surrounds
Drowning is the feeling
Of struggle
Drowning is
Where you make peace with death
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 12:51 PM UTC
The alcohol ***** me up every time,
And I just can't seem to find,
My sanity in the calamity,
Of my ever loving mind,
Because when it's drowning in tequila,
I just want sleep with a fella,
I'll invite over random people from Tinder,
Thank the Lord I haven't been murdered,
Or worse, yes there's worse,
Because I'm suicidal, find me a hearse,
I've been this way,
Since the fourth grade,
When my innocence was broken,
And now I'm just too woken,
To the ways of the world and the **** people in it,
And I just can't seem to find my place among it,
Relapse on the horizon,
If I can't find a way to survive this,
Please someone save me from my drowning before I die,
Because I don't know how to swim in my own mind,
I've been in pieces lately,
Crying sometimes uncontrollably,
And that's just not me,
I'm usually relatively happy,
Cracking jokes, to cover my hurt,
So no one knows just how far down in the dirt,
I really am these days,
How much I just want to fade,
Into oblivion, and never resurface,
Because I put a mask on my face,
And tell everyone I'm okay,
It's like an automatic reaction to say,
To never tell anyone how I really feel,
Which is like garbage if you can deal,
With the truth, but most people can't handle it,
Most people don't want the real ****
Relapse on the horizon,
If I can't find a way to survive this,
Please someone save me from my drowning before I die,
Because I don't know how to swim in my own mind.
Aug 14, 2019
Aug 14, 2019 at 8:21 PM UTC
You open your mouth
And sputter your poison
Dissolving into others' ears
Climbing it's way up
Up into their brains
Just like a tumor
I hear the rumors
That resurface too often
And explain the truth
Denial, they tell me,
Just proves it's true
What do they know?
My mind is mine
My thoughts are mine
And I like to
Keep them that way
But you reach in
And grab the truth
Then spin it with
Your snake tongue into
Your weaponous poisonous acid
Contaminating other peoples minds
You're supposed to be
A friend of mine
Until you join in
Why won't you stand
Stand up for me
Set it all straight
Because I can't deny
Or it's considered true
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 24, 2015 at 10:35 AM UTC