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Ashley Hope Feb 2018
My hearts skipping beats right now,
the thought of everything that has ever happened comes crashing down,
I can describe the feeling as uncharted land,
I've never been here before,
never thought I'd land,
I sit up and breathe the fresh air,
the sent of flowers and the rustling of birds,
I've woken into a paradise,
I thought I'd never hold,
I start walking through some fresh cut grass,
the smell reminds me of a summer that i wish would forever last,
I come across a field of wheat,
I reach out and touch a feeling so sweet,
at the end of the field i see a tree,
It's beautiful and it has brown autumn leaves,
I sit under it and wonder how it can be so soothing even during a storm,
I stand up and keep heading south untill i reach a waterfall,
the water falling so peacefully without a care in the world,
the sound of it is like music to my ears,
i dive into the clear water and resurface without any fears,
as i wipe the water from my face everything has become clear,
there you are with your field colored hair,
those brown eyes i fall into without a care,
and oh your heart,
my beautiful waterfall,
so clear and so certain it's like a mirror without a wall,
so as i open my eyes i begin to see,
my paradise is you always smiling at me.
love <3
Ashley Hope Feb 2018
I think to love someone we have to break off a portion of our heart and give it to them.
then hope they give you their half to fill your void.
If not circulation is going to be difficult.
It's going to make blood harder to pump.
even if your lucky enough to get someones heart in return it's going to make you bleed differently. there's always going to be a crack in the middle of your chest.
you will never be whole you just have to hope their heart pumps harder. That their blood type matches yours.
again not a poem just my thoughts. as messed up as they may be.
Ashley Hope Feb 2018
I think we become addicted because without addictions we are nothing. everything means nothing without an addiction to cling to. no foundation in reality. he died a lush but he died addicted to something. he's remembered for something whether good or bad. and as much as you claim your not addicted to something you are, everyone is. that cigarette in your hand, the ***** in the fridge, could even be the person in bed beside you. either way something is an anchor holding you down to earth. balancing you out. keeping you grounded.
More of a mindset than a poem.
Ashley Hope Feb 2018
You love my green eyes when they sparkle in the sunlight after a beautiful day,
But not when they turn marble and fill with tears when I lose myself yet again,
You love my hair when it is styled as I prepare for the evening ahead,
But not when it is ***** from where I first woke up after another restless night,
You love my hands when they are Intwined in yours and my nails are painted on,
But not when they're covered in my blood from where I wasn't strong,
You love my wrists when they're layered in jewelry,
But not when the scars can be seen,
You love my lips when I taste like cherries and they're pressed against yours,
But not when they are cracked from biting as anxiety kicks in,
You love my body when it's wrapped around yours,
But not when the sunlight shows how many stretch marks have formed,
You love my mind when it's dancing with happy thoughts,
But not as it slowly slips away.
wrote this a year ago when I  was in a toxic relationship.
Ashley Hope Nov 2017
Go Ahead and eat my carcass like the vulture that you know you are,
pick away at my insecurities, you're good at that,
pick at me untill I'm skinned away of myself,
Till i'm nothing but bone,
like you want me to be,
Till you can no longer see any color other than white,
am i pure enough for you now?,
probably not,
pick away at the confidence i got from distancing myself from you,
go ahead,
strike me in my nervous system,
pick the most sensitive parts of my skin that you know hurt the most,
pluck out my eyes so i can no longer cry when you pick me apart,
please do,
because i know that as long as my carcass is here you'll never stop eating me alive,
eat away at my stomach from all the times i downed pills to get away from you,
eat my brain,
so that you yourself will die,
because my brains an acid filled abyss that you corroded,
eat at my brain so i can dissolve your soul away,
like you did mine,
and give me back my peace of mind.
#family #vulture
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