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SelinaSharday Jun 2018
Flowing up to the surface
Submerged under the waters..
Chocking gasping for a bit of air..
swollowing.. suffocating.. On Life..
sorrows_hardships..
Just can't even imagine the reasons behind the tragedies...
Of what evils lurks in earthly places..
With the ability to rearrange and change peoples faces.
After all the hearing and the witnessing.
The feelings and the knowings.
All the seeing of evils news....
I didnt realize I was chocking emotions deeply bruise.
Anxiety snatching the ability to breath where its comfortable..
Breath normally..
Panic sneaks its way in..makes me uncomfortable in my skin.
Pulse rushing pulsating.
All of a sudden the sheer emotion of losing.
Can't see another day lighting the way..
Soul feels the falling when you realize
there's so much suffering..
Arms gone limp all passed out..From the exhaustion.
This is when God holds yah in His arms.
Calming down irregular heart beats.
God breaths His air into you. His breath is your air..
as he breath Life back into you.
Resuscitate He is the air you breath.
Without Him you can't breath there's no air without Him.
He pulls you up to this worlds surface..
This worldly ocean called life.
Where day by day moments felt like drowning.
He gives you inspiration and sets within you a song.
Tells you to keep holding on..
Revive..
The ocean is still there
but for now..I have been brought up to the surface.
hear it on soundcloud copy n paste link below
https://soundcloud.com/selinaros3y/atherbest-revive-0-1
S.A.M @h.e.r 2018
resurface again
ryn Mar 2015
Wonder if when constellations do align
And universe would finally see.
Would it be presumptious of me
To claim that then, finally you'd be mine.

Wonder if my sense would triumph over
So that my heart would be muted.
With all its contents looted...
Would I only seem sillier?

Wonder if I walked away
In due course.
You'd then take my hand in yours
So that a minute longer I'd stay...

Wonder if you'd understand
When if these feet
Should choose to retreat...
That they had to... It wasn't planned.

Wonder if it'd make a difference
If I said that I had to...
Not for me but more for you.
Would we still be able to love in silence?

Wonder if you'd wish that you made it all clear.
Before the gravity of reality would crush us,
Before the vastness of uncertainty swallows us,
Before my presence would diminish and inevitably disappear.

Wonder if you find my pessimism exhausting.
The volatile nature of my moods...
Especially when I dive deep in solitude
And resurface with a trove of words that are no less than exasperating.

Wonder if you loved me enough
In a day...
To stop me from walking away...
Or loved me too much to plainly say

That...

Future's days would see us apart...
Future's moon would glow but not for us...
Future's stars would sing but not of us...
Future's sun would dry out the passion in our hearts.
Kara Jean Jun 2016
Desires feeding our souls

Gnawing and eating our flesh, until we're a vulnerable flush red

Our pores exude the confident strife

A conflict that should have never arrived

To resurface our skin, bring back the childhood mind

I still see the eight-year-old awkwardness,
holding a staple makeshift poetry book and pen

The young struggling mind, when dying was simple to find

Daily I walk into the aroma of the sunlight

Intricately snipping roses off their vines, soaking in their beauty as my fingers sting and bleed

A decade incomplete

She never stopped being a victim long enough to realize her heart was revitalized, made into an equal whole

A rose petals thirst satisfied

No insignificant being

She was now a family
lifeonLSD Sep 2018
After clenching my theeth behind the ghosts that are meant to be radiantly fibrant in color, I inhale every part of them while they creap like smoke to the very corners of my lungs. Nothing else but dust that rises when they are retracing your steps, slowly reaching for my heart. With each pass they are rumbling up the dirt, on their way to what is left, of the war that has taken place in an oh so warm safe haven ~or heaven when it were your feet wandering through my paradise garden of life. Where now the comfort is long gone in memory and all that is left are the broken fragments of once perfectly shaped clouds in front off a crystal blue sky ~that turned to dark matter in a bodemless ocean where you let me fall in to, without any last words of lost whispers, to never let me resurface to the land of loving and what is now keeping me in a forever limbo of you-and me holding on to myself while drowning again tonight.
fromthebookaboutyou
patty m Jan 2015
Beware they whisper and I am so aware,
that before me lies the road to despair.
I want to believe, my heart wants to sing
but no one can say what tomorrow will bring.
Closed is one door with resounding slam
hiding horrible memories a terrible sham.
Another door opens with light shining through
an angel is singing "I'm here for you."
I jump over the fire, tears on my face
to follow the leader and fall out of grace.
Words of the living run through my head
as I dance the macabre with phantoms all dead.  
Drowning in illusion I resurface and then
jump in a cesspool and drown once again.
Oh to be touched by the magic of caring,
to see words on the page besides hatred and swearing.
Perhaps I'll carve a chunk
from the side of the moon,
or dance with a lover in some private room.  
Hand over hand holding tight to the rope,
I walk each new day searching for hope.  
But night is coming with a scowl on it's face
the leopard is hungry so I won't go to waste.
If I see tomorrow what happens then?
I'll open another door and begin once again.
Patricia Arches Sep 2013
Choices

This ever blotting simple thing that makes up things

as small as a mouse but also as deadly as sin itself

A simple formula of cause and effect

An effect

A result

A consequence

No pretences

Or fences that guard our decisions

Keeps it safe for being just a choice

For it is no longer just a choice

It is not that simple, see there is a formula to remember

An economic study to this choice where c=e

because

For every cause there is an effect

For every cause there is an effect

For every cause there is an effect

Let it dwell in your mind and affect you

Because that is where it all begins

Let us open up your mind and there we will find that

Alongside that implanted thought are a plethora

Of more thoughts that are placed beside your dreams

Nestled in between your hopes, skilfully intertwined with your visions

There they all lay

Our mind is our drive that takes us down

A road that is long and winding

A highway down to our hands

Which eventually become steered by, picked up with strings ever so delicately like a puppet

Held by that one thought

Your actions are birthed from your thoughts

We see these to be choices

To study these choices would be economics, to understand them would be sympathy

To take a leader who steals from his country

Or a mom who abandons her child to keep herself alive

And view this as sad, as a cry for help?

How and why?

Oh no! We do not stop at just those two ghastly choices

For this is a study of many

Choices

Of things that have happened to determine what will and to save us from what has been

Let us open up this book

And flip each page to see what decrees and laws

Revolutions and words put down on paper

Have anything to do with where we stand today

For the choices of the past still linger here

Mixed in with the choices of the present

Creating this air that we breathe in and out every single day

We would be infuriated with rage as we scan through the pages of this book of choices

A chapter of injustice

A paragraph of cruelty

A statement of selfishness

A line of adultery

But, wait! Oh, let us stop on this

One

story

For this I do not even understand

See I have studied choices, and put them into many formulas

To see the effects and the causes of each

but this story is different

For it is not just one chapter

One statement

One line

It is the whole story and each is intricately woven within it

In fact, the book is titled for this one story

And to begin it would be to start off with a choice

By a God

To send his son

To die for men

Men whose choices we see throughout the whole book

Men whose choices are vile and selfish and ruthless

Sinful men

*****

And yet a God so Holy and pure still sends down his son in His likeness for these grimy men??

See, if we picture it. It is a white cloth, pure and clean not just dipped but completely submerged in dirt

Now that is not a choice that I would make

But it was made

A man so untainted and holy

Came down

To die for the sinner

Who stole from the helpless woman in the ally

Who murdered an innocent child in the womb

Who told a tiny white lie to his mom and dad and gave himself away to drugs and peer pressure

Who lusted after the world and what seemed good but really was death covered in make up whispering

in the promises lie after lie

To die for the sinner who is you

You

Jesus chose to die for you

On that cross, with his hands bound by nails and his feet the same

And with every last breath, last drop of blood and whip of the chain

he thought of you

and that is a choice that no study, no analyzation could ever make sense of

but it was done

it is done

is what he said for you as his arms were spread out wide

and all your choices

he negated the effects, and ultimately the effect of death

and formulated a solution of eternal life instead

for this one choice

changed all the rest

Now, think, think it through

Every choice you make

and every choice that was made is made brand new, infused with grace

Remember this for when there is a test the formula of cause and effect

Still stand true

but also remember Jesus who did what you had to do

for you may make many more flawed choices without a thought

Therefore go down on bended knees gaze at the cross

where stood the Father’s son

never a doubt that this choice for you was a wrong one

that any effect wouldn’t be worth it

you are worth any effect

you are an effect

of that one choice made on the hills of calvary

look up at the cross when your lewd effects force out the mistakes of your personal choices

then resurface that one choice made 2000 years before

bring it up amongst all the confusion and chaos

study it’s economic worth

hold it dear

smile at it even for

that senseless,

unexplainable,

brilliant,

grand,

intricate,

lovel­y,

merciful,

gracious,

holy,

divine,

choice

is all for you
Ray T Mar 2018
I try so hard to scrub him off me.
It has been over four years and I still scream in the night.
The feeling is so suffocating that when I open my lungs, dust puffs out.
All I have left from him is layers over layers over layers of insecurity and fear.
When you ask me if I liked that, I smile and nod and yes yes of course,
But I can’t even feel it anymore.
Sometimes I am so numb by what has happened to me and my protective mechanisms resurface
Blocking every sense of touch and emotion that I have,
Giving you the show that I was taught to give.
The only feeling that remains after we have *** is the feeling of another man’s teeth sinking into my neck,
Clamping down on the blood flow to my brain,
Knocking me out in a much more pleasant way than when he would with his fists.
No matter how raw I scrub myself, his fingerprints and bruises linger.

I love you.
I am trying to forget him.
I am shaking in your arms and it is for all the wrong reasons and it has been a year,
A year into this beautiful life with you and I still don’t think I have told you.
It is not your fault, I know that.
What I don’t know, is if it was mine.
chrissy who Jun 2016
Sinking into the depths of your memories
For what seems like years
Only to resurface and find
You're braced against every surface
In the vicinity.
It's as if even your body realizes
Your mind is unsteady.
amber Dec 2018
i sit alone
in my room
and think of you

old emotions resurface
feeling the graze of wings
from the ghosts of butterflies
that once flew about
in my stomach

why am i allowing you
to consume me daily
when i haven't
seen your face
in years
Carter Ginter Nov 2015
Out into the warm world I stride
I breathe in the smooth air
But it's filled with cyanide

Autumn sings it's song
with the smell of leaves
Reminding me of a time long gone

How can you keep me trapped
Grasping my lungs and choking out
Every ounce of hope I have left
You're gone but still remain everywhere
Memories flood my mind
As I wish to be anywhere but here

You left more than few marks
You bore deepening scratches within my soul
Your memory a salt stinging my heart

So every time I leave that place
And Smell the deadly fall air
You resurface and destroy any hope of saving face
Because I cannot respect myself alone
So how can I expect any from others
When I know you still have such a strong hold

So I jump on my bike
and ride as fast as I can
Until I reach the prison that is my new home
Where pollution clouds the clean air
But sets me free
From you and our old memories
Leiser Poetry Mar 24
Cant bear to hear the voices;
dragging me down;
feeling the failure!
Voices mock me                                                               ­                    make me frown
nothing ever goes right:
want to keep on                                                               ­                     
with the fight,
be strong                                                           ­                                   
move on                            
with my life
there is something
that stops me when I
find happiness negativity                                                       ­             
cuts me like a fine knife  
anxiety makes me feel on edge;
paranoia makes me question
and sabotage everything
depression lowers me
to the point where I
feel lack of energy
or empathy any more
If anything I want                                                             ­                        to sleep in bed                                                              ­                           not feel this dread
I use to medicate
myself with beer
and pain relief
taking any medicines
I can get to feel no pain
To feel no shame                                                            ­                        
for the anxiety         
to go away
but it never went
only made me forget                                                           ­                   
the symptoms
the mania I get                                                              ­                          feel a hint of euphoria
but later irritated
over ****** and frustrated,
the world is moving too slow
Im obsessed and sometimes
delusional: the demons are smiling  
they've won the battle but not the war when they took over my mind; for a short while but since sophie was born
and my life almost thrown away
at the age 28 I decided to give life another go and work hard to live an cleaner life the best I can                                                              smile more even when I'm low be grateful                                        

I'm still alive and here
want to feel I have a bright future
now with a baby and boyfriend
that  loves and understands me
its hard sometimes

when you can feel the bad memories resurface,
negative vibes in my mind
hit me like a bullet or cut me like a knife
want to keep telling them not today
that I will not fall to their darkness and decay
that they can't beat me and that
I'm no longer a failure
but a fighter still here to tell her tale;
despite all the *******
and people grinding me down
over the years;
bringing me to tears
I tell myself each day that
I'm a fighter and I'm still here.
Batool Dec 2018
من میں ڈوبوں
ابھروں نہ
ڈھونڈوں خود کو
ملے خدا
ذات کے پنجرے
میں روح قید
ٹوٹے تالا
ملے پتہ !! ۰۰

God and Me (translation)
drown in the depths of soul
and never resurface
I was set to find myself
yet ended up finding God
My soul is caged
in confinement of my body
break the lock
So I can find myself
Rage
There is a rage that’s festering inside me
A rage so close to despair
Had I known it would be to my detriment
I would’ve been more prepared

I did not see it coming
It’s been hidden for so many years
Now it’s trying to resurface
It really grinds my gears

I do not get along with my demons
A sighting of one is quite rare
Mine is staring back at me
Unforgiving and unfair

He hits me, he hurts me
He’s always right there
But despite all of my complaining
I think we make a real good pair
Madison Feb 2
You strip me down to the core.
Force me to resurface painful secrets.
Pressure me to empty my mind to you.
You scrape out my heart while it beats.
You may as while dissect me while I breath.
Then you have the audacity to tell me I hurt you.
Gods1son Sep 2018
Once again, I allowed fear cage me in
Lights out
I was pulling my hair out
Another opportunity missed out

Lost in my thoughts
Controversy going on inside of me
Fear vs my abilities
It was a tough one, I could tell by the way I was perspiring

My abilities took shots at fear
Fear backed out
Looking forward to the next opportunity
I know fear will try to resurface
I will use it as a means of propelling!
alexia Oct 2018
All hope was gone
I was drowning
The swirling currents of thoughts
Dragging me down
Swept under the churning waves
Not able to resurface
Deeper and deeper I sunk
Into the abyss of darkness
Down like an anchor
Unable to breathe
Until
I see the waves part
A shining ray of light
Passing through
Illuminating the way
I swim
As fast as I can
Reaching for the surface
Till I break through
Up above
the world
Bright as can be
I no longer sink
But float
Shy Nov 2018
My mind is flooded
With thoughts of you

The sound of your laughter
Shape of your body
The feeling of your touch
The way I feel
When you walked in a room

I’m starting a to drown
In all your memories
And I don’t know
How to resurface
nitelite Aug 2018
O,
my mind,
won't you meet me alone?
When the Earth's eyes close
And the valley winds blow.
To ensure,
Being clear,
That none could see nor hear
None of the throes nor fears
Reflected through shattered mirrors.
As ashamed as I am, cautious as I am aware
That,
as I am,
in this state of disrepair,
I’ve walked upon an anxious, lengthening pier,
That leads to the middle of the ocean, only to stare,
At the waves of defeat that, underneath do quake.
For still beating is my heart, so even though it aches
As the disappearance of you leaves unconsciousness in its wake,
Seeing how perilous the seas may be, to only drown in a lake,
To perhaps resurface once more in the following morn,
Is a promised hope wherein dreams dissipate forsworn
★a pensive night
★feedback would be awesome! :)
Jade Jan 2
From the moment
the tale of her ruin
made itself known,
mankind has
coveted proof
of her existence.

Many a curious hand
has stalked across
the glossy veins of maps
and the cracked vertebrae of books
enclosing information
most pivotal to
her secret whereabouts
and the tragic evanescence
that initiated her exile.

Many a
sailor
explorer
scientist
poet
have perished among
the gnashing jaws of the sea
in their pursuit of
the glory
her exploitation
would surely bring.  

In response to such
grievances--
the reality
of losing oneself
in the midst of
searching for what
has already been lost--
imagination--
the belief in magic,
in the seemingly
unbelievable--
was outlawed
within the
human psyche;

now,
they say she is merely
a madman's legend,
a myth concocted by Plato
so as to warn against
the perils of greed.

But never did they consider
that perhaps she did not
want to be found to begin with,
that her seclusion
has always been a necessity
so as not to repeat
the monstrosities of the past--
so she should not resurface
to satiate their earthly desires
only so she can be drowned anew.

{Atlantic}
Don't be a stranger--check out my blog!

jadefbartlett.wixsite.come/tickledpurple

(P.S. Use a computer to ensure an optimal reading experience)
The alcohol ***** me up every time,
And I just can't seem to find,
My sanity in the calamity,
Of my every loving mind,
Because when it's drowning in tequila,
I just want sleep with a fella,
I'll invite over random people from Tinder,
Thank the Lord I haven't been murdered,
Or worse, yes there's worse,
Because I'm suicidal, find me a hearse,
I've been this way,
Since the fourth grade,
When my innocence was broken,
And now I'm just too woken,
To the ways of the world and the **** people in it,
And I just can't seem to find my place among it,

Relapse on the horizon,
If I can't find a way to survive this,
Please someone save me from my drowning before I die,
Because I don't know how to swim in my own mind,

I've been in pieces lately,
Crying sometimes uncontrollably,
And that's just not me,
I'm usually kinda happy,
Cracking jokes, to cover my hurt,
So no one knows just how far down in the dirt,
I really am these days,
How much I just want to fade,
Into oblivion, and never resurface,
Because I put a mask on my face,
And tell everyone I'm okay,
It's like an automatic reaction to say,
To never tell anyone how I really feel,
Which is like garbage if you can deal,
With the truth, but most people can't handle it,
Most people don't want the real ****,

Relapse on the horizon,
If I can't find a way to survive this,
Please someone save me from my drowning before I die,
Because I don't know how to swim in my own mind.
Jules Apr 10
Enter the dark parts of my mind.

The pieces that aren't really pieces
but are like the vast black holes
sprinkled throughout the universe

You'll never leave
imprinted in my gray matter forever

Lost and spinning
You may resurface every now and then,
forcing my brain cells to collide and remind me of you

I wish I could rip you from my memories,
extinguish the artificial light you emitted

But what would happen then?
What is a thing without what came before?
ghazal Mar 7
at the edge of a roaring ocean, i paint a crimson sky.
seduced by love and affection,
i meld my broken heart with white washed tides.
and no matter what, i don't blame the sea for all that it did to me.
i'm just a soul going through life
only to realize that all i want is buried deep underneath.
yet i might drown to get what i need,
but on the off chance that i resurface,
i'll dig my way through the mud beneath.
i'll go through life with dirt under my fingernails just to feel some sort of purity inside.
and although crimson may paint a beautiful sunset,
i need red to fuel my blood.
until then,
i'll mix the white waters that wash up-

"and kneeling at the edge of the transparent sea, i shall shape from myself a new heart from salt and mud".
"and kneeling at the edge of the transparent sea, i shall shape from myself a new heart from salt and mud".
-anne carson
Hakiim Feb 26
touch me as brick turns into paper
a familiarity i once knew
a past life in present form

i sit in full awareness of your bare flesh
you reside transparent in most forms
my hand extended in subtle care
your heart belongs to memories

my memories resurface as fear takes a hold
of being used and alone
of you not seeing me
of me dying alone

in fear that my last love is my last love
so as you fill my brain and it forms a puzzle
speak to me before insanity fills my neck with thorns
before paper becomes brick
I recently went o date with someone and they felt for some reason familiar to me. They reminded me of my first/last love who passed away. Yet, now at this point I’m not sure how this person feels. I know they have a struggle with their past love, but i’m so confused and lost. I’m not sure if they are even slightly interested in me. I just want clarification if I should just close myself back off from potential love or what. My mind is in shambles.
A Oct 2018
Sometimes I feel
like an imposter
A self constructed collage
of my favorite bits
of other people
I wonder
if those I admire
are constructed as well
out of those they place higher

Fear
seeps into my brain
when I think of leaving this world
having done nothing of importance,
having made no difference at all
I wonder
Is it too late for greatness?
To push through the pain?
Is it vain to still pray they’ll remember
my name?

Sometimes I bleed
in the form of tears
for the memories
I can no longer recall
I wonder
if they’re stored somewhere
tucked away safe
to resurface only at the smell or sight
of something familiar
I’ll fight
to not lose them again

When I reminisce
about the many spaces
my atoms have occupied
I wonder
Who occupies them now?
Are there fragments of me that still remain?
Moments in time that stayed the same?

I wonder
I blossom,
grow and change
I deconstruct
And then start again
October 3, 2018
a Nov 2018
Why is it
that you cross my mind
even when I thought I had
gotten over you

those old feelings
seem to resurface
even when I tried to suppress them
Something about you
reels them back in
leaving me broken inside
because I know
I could never have you
I really did think those feelings would have stayed gone, forever. guess I was wrong.
Lilly F Aug 6
the ones who stain your satin exterior,
with their salty tears
the ones who leave scuff marks, driving into your pastel mind,
with the words on their fake letters
the ones who resurface upon your eyes of a setting sun,
with their convenient after break-up rebound texts
the ones who **** the healing flowers growing on your earthly arms,
with their problems being unloaded onto you recklessly.
I'd rather be alone forever,
than put up with dumb boys.


©L.F.
most can relate.
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