"possiblity" poems
i used to have an easy time
enjoying myself
laughs came easy
smiles even easier
even being around these people made me happy
but something has changed
my heart has moved places
and my stomach refuses to consider the possibility that I’m safe
every word, every breath feels forced
out of an unchanging smile
i guess im just waiting
but i don’t know what for
for when ill finally have a day in which the possiblity of sleeping forever doesn’t feel appealing?
for when ill finally love myself?
maybe im just waiting for the sun to set
so we can finally start the bonfire
and the burning of my skin
will make me feel something
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 8:11 PM UTC
My back hunches
Like a stuffed bookcase in a corner
Too full
My back laden with possibility
I find myself lost in a maze
Of what should be tranquility
Except you lurk there
Your eyes filled with miserable possibility
I've watched your pale fingers
Turn into twiggy claws
And your green eyes
The ones that look like the sea
Turn cracked and dark
Under the light of the grey sun
She clutches your shoulder
Cackling at how I search
For an exit
And exit from this maze
A maze of possibility
Her stature slouched and heavy
Her hands cold and grey
Stroke your thick hair
And I see the disgust in your eyes
And taste it on the air
I struggle through
Getting closer to you
Trapped in a maze of
Possiblity
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013 at 9:51 PM UTC
They say where ever your birthmark is located on your body
Is where you were stabbed, shot, hung or whatever other means
Of death are plausible in your past life.
I have come to the conclusion
That I am not human.
I do not have a birthmark anywhere on my body
A patch of pigmented skin different from the rest
This is both englightening and very very very dissapointing
This means there was never a low blow to my calf, a karate chop at my neck, a gunshot to my ankle
Nothing to symbolize that I once maybe had another life.
A life where I was the cracks in the sidwalk
or the wind gently stirring up chaos on days when I just **** felt like being noticed
or maybe i lived out my seven year old dreams of becoming the sixth member of the Spice Girls
or even an NSYNC groupie
I will never know.
I never emerged from my mothers womb
With a scar baring my worth
I was never blessed with a kiss from an angel
As other mothers told their children
I was never born with a birthmark,
and while this is perfectly natural.
I am very dissapointed, beacause maybe I was never given a chance.
Maybe I was crushed before I entered the world
A womb filled with disgust and hatred
Maybe I preferred to stay as the cracks in the concrete or the wind
Because I'd rather deal with the simple casualities of life rather than the mess humans tend to create
Maybe I was never given a second chance because
I never made something of myself here first.
Or just maybe there is a possiblity that I'm immortal
and if that's the case.
You are all invited to my 106th birthday party.
Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012 at 9:12 PM UTC
Penises make me uncomfortable because they have only been used against me. Uncomfortable is not a strong enough word to explain the disgust that rises up my throat, the sickening feeling that tears at my stomach and lungs, the feeling of having to retract all of my limbs into my body, or at least as close as physically possible.
I can not stand the thought of having *** with a male, but does that make me a lesbian? Or does that just mean I am terrified of the possiblity of experiencing PTSD? If I think these flashbacks are bad enough, I don't want to experience anything more.
I only date guys that resembles the man that hurt me first.
When I am in a perfect relationship, I ruin it on purpose because I am scared of commitment.
I crave the things that hurt me, like razor blades, and chemicals that fill my lungs and poison my liver. Like a firm hand, a hot flame, a brick wall; I even crave the sounds of warning that my body gives when it is slowly dieing. The white lights, ears ringing, the light headed feeling when I stand up. I crave the black circles under my eyes, the transparency of my skin, the feeling of bones. I crave the blood pumping through my veins going 70 on a road with my eyes closed. I crave self destruction.
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 12:35 AM UTC
Comforting possiblity
That, still, you suddenly recall
The ultimate futility
Of doing anything at all
Oct 2, 2022
Oct 2, 2022 at 1:48 AM UTC
I've always known what I wanted.
I felt like I had everything mapped out
and the only thing that could go wrong was that I wouldn't have enough time.
Well, time started to pass and the plan started to fade.
It would be erased and
a new idea came to mind,
only to be replaced
later in time by another.
Each one seeming
more surer than the last.
They all were never
as permanent as I hoped.
Only becoming temporary
because I couldn't make up my mind
and decide.
Time went by still
and even the thought
of the future began to fade.
It faded fast,
just like the others.
But it wasn't replaced.
The form of the "future" was taken over by emptiness
and unable to react,
I began accepting that there
was nothing for me anymore.
I couldn't find something
to be interested in.
I was lacking a muse,
motivation,
inspiration.
I shut everyone out;
afraid of losing the
people I was close to.
It became a struggle to
make it through a day.
It was harder to find
a reason to get out
of bed in the morning.
It felt like the emptiness
had come and consumed
what I had left,
if I had anything left at all.
There was no freedom,
a prisoner to my own problems.
The possiblity to end it all
hung over my head;
but I never took it,
frightened to be called weak,
afraid.
Society had made me an outcast,
getting comfort when I could
and simultaneously learning to
not rely on others.
Only I could be my own best friend.
Misunderstood
and perceived as happy,
I carried on the charade,
the reason unknown.
I couldn't be taken seriously
as I was always known
for being so carefree
and happy.
That fun-loving girl
was torn apart inside,
but she faked a smile,
lying to herself and
everyone else by pretending
it was okay.
This went on and yet
no inspiration for the future
could be found.
The time yet to come
was still a vast space of
jumbled dreams with no way
to unscramble them.
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013 at 1:40 PM UTC
Maybe this non dairy rocky road was already laid out for me like some kind of haphazardly tossed together destiny of unfathomable tragedy
Or maybe I was too afraid to look too closely or venture too far from safety
Didn't see the blame had shifted dramatically, mostly to me, but how wrong can one guy possibly be?
And yet still I will admit, there's a possiblity the mentality I harbor is mostly negativity manifesting this reckless trajectory
No way to know for sure cause the final copy sent to the publisher was never run by me
So maybe, just maybe, it's some combination of these three, and everything you don't see but what pushed the first domino is beyond me
Can't jog my memory, the good, the bad and the ugly all lost to ancient history, constantly looked over, over and over to the point of obscurity
There's no money so follow the calamity of the paper back story, it's short and gory
Densely packed and stacked with everything that would make someone uneasy
Only pain and shame, no glory, not even a hole, boxed in and been lonely for 40
My future is solely based on what I've done previously
Most might say, "uh, yeah, obviously" but it can get tricky
With a little creative liberty taken to push the limits of an already worn down psyche
Me, myself and I, a split personality or just a not so holy trinity?
©2024
Jan 20, 2024
Jan 20, 2024 at 5:39 PM UTC
my heart
feels like a
dozen of slashed
black roses
i woke up
in such a
twisted fantasy
with the slightest
possiblity that you didn't love
me the way used
i refuse to believe
that we were rotting
in the blood
of my dead corpse
i begin to write
the love letter
inked in the blood
of my love for you
i must hurry
before the screaming
sun arises
before im gone
i begin to stencil
a ****** love
for such a lying
heart that i have begun to hate
(b.d.s.)
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 5:28 AM UTC
such-a-deep-and-comely-thing
so-fleshless-moments-are-going
sharing-something-the-silence
and-the-quick-quiverings-of-flutings
when-nothing-becomes-the-heart
like-a-jungle-stripping-the-panache
of-the-viridian-softer-it-is-the-truth
of-the-navel’s-blue-pursuit
in-the-caterwaul-of-bodies-to-a-spry
plaything-summon-a-laughter-blacker
than-ravens-in-the-thrall-of-the-beset-moon
and-the-homes-fat-always-with-such-tender-beatings
it-is-the-time-of-the-heron
it-is-the-end-of-the-susurration
when-the-unswift-hands-of-alloys
sojourn-and-still-something-a-dagger-in-the-mire
of-the-cloud-that-egregiously-whispers
a-long-possiblity-of-dreams-and-their-palpable-weight
(say-it-will-perhaps-contention-of-pulseless-awakenings
when-it-was-such-truthfulness-that-when-the-heart-sings
the-mind-stirs-and-the-hands-dance-to-roundtables-of-mirth
twitching-such-belittled-locomotions-when-it-was-fashionable
to-have-adorned-you-the-love-and-not-firm-obstreperous-meanderings)
Jan 8, 2016
Jan 8, 2016 at 7:27 AM UTC
What kind of Sin dares Usher in
A devious man to lick his lips, gutteral gasping beneath his Breath
The Wonton Musing oozes a delicious Decay,
The Poured Out drooling, his Power Pulsing, A Foaming Fantasy Power Tripping
~to Control the Spiritual World
at his Will & Command?
Here's what he imagined:
Biblical Bribery.
Blasphemous Forgery
Who ever has the money or an Unbridled hand can piecemeal a Story for premeditated Zeal,
To make for a more attractive Appeal
Why need such profiled Idoltry?
To be Present
at the Moment of such a Powerful Man's Revelation, Spoken for and too You
To be blessed
with ears to hear Him
To worship
At the Alter of Salt
A pillar miraculous,
To Worship Within, in Him, beside Him.
A Scribe Sweats
To write furiously away
for later reference, Thus
Attention is spared and the Sermon Deemed for Organic Lackluster
**"Scratch That
Oops
Edit
Kindly Repeat
Didn't quite catch That
Delete
Revise
Rephrase
Two or One spaced per Sheet?
The strain hurts my Eyes
When can We Break for Feast?
Are We Done for the Day?"**
Can this be a possiblity
Can a misdirected, Unsupervised
Scrupulous Individual
Not quietly Misquote
The Word trianguled from Mouth to Pen to Paper?
The Words We have come to Believe In??
You Tell Me.....
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
You'll never know how cool I am, when I'm around you I just lose my cool.
But if you decide you decide to hold my hand, I swear I'd be warm enough for you.
As cold as hearts can sometimes be, it finds a flame, only after it's found your name.
As cold as my once stumbling feet, always steadly stumbling, fumbling your way.
Tip-toe, one. two. One. In front of. The other. tip. Toe. Tip.
This dance often repeated when I feel I've lost my grip.
Tip-toe, one. Two. One. In front of. The other. Tip. toe. tip.
You watch me advance, cocked brow and lip.
Crawling back to you.
Always crawling back to you.
Always never ever feeling right until I write to you.
And every night I write to you;
In my head, lying awake in bed;
with keyboards or with lead;
with songs birthed from dread--
singing "our love is dead."
And You'll never know how cool I am, cause around you I just lose my cool.
So I settle for a copy, for a hobby, for a tool.
As cold as hearts can sometimes be, it would thaw at a possiblity of you and me.
As cold as my once stumbling feet, still steadly stumbling, fumbling your way.
Tip-toe, one. two. One. In front of. The other. Tip. Toe. Tip.
I don't fear your rejection, in your eyes I've already quit.
Tip toe, one. Two. One. In front of. The other. Tip. toe. tip.
Inching as close as I can get, Hoping you still hear your name on my lips.
knowing the first thing you might say is , "Ain't this some ****
"You come and go as you please, you do?"
"Assuming that I'll always be here for you."
But you /were/ always there
And I think that's hella cool.
That'd you could be so warm,
To such an uncool fool.
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 11:45 PM UTC
I've been around long enough to know
That a good man's word ain't as good as gold,
No matter what he says;
But there are exceptions.
I'm not one.
Well I've been waiting for while on a comeback line,
Avoiding the sting of a bottle of rye.
Come on,
Whatd'ya say?
Let's put the blues away.
Cause when your out of heart,
You need some hope to start
To learn to love again.
You need someone to step out on faith,
No matter what you've done;
To be given a chance
To live at last.
The wide, wild sky will be open to possiblity
When the time is right,
And you let it be.
You've got trust
To be trusted again.
You can't grip your heartache tight
Like a pillow in the night,
If you want to feel the sun.
This is the age of forgiveness,
And to be a fool,
To take a chance,
And for love, too.
This is is the age of angels.
You can see them comimg
From out of the sky
To chase the loneliness
Back into the shadows.
This is the age of internal light,
Not to play it cool,
To take some risks
With your heart, too.
I've been around a block or a few,
And I've learned of little things that a man can do
To get out of himself.
Some maybe perfect,
But I'm not one.
I've been thinking bout getting on time,
Getting in step with the pretty eyes,
Come on,
Whatd'ya say,
And you can have your way.
I surrender to you tonight,
I give myself to your loving light.
I'm yours to love again.
I need you to take a leap of faith
No matter what we've gone.
Let's give ourselves a chance
To live at last.
The wide, wild sky will be open to possiblity
When the time is right,
And you let us be.
You've got trust
To be trusted again.
You can't grip your heartache tight
Like a pillow in the night,
If you want to feel the sun.
This is the age of forgiveness,
And to be a fool,
To take a chance,
And for love, too.
This is is the age of angels.
You can see them comimg
From out of the sky
To chase the loneliness
Back into the shadows.
This is the age of internal light,
Not to play it cool,
To take some risks
With your heart, too.
Can't you see the future now?
I can.
I can see the meadow beyond this fence
That I built on mistakes,
And we went wrong ever since.
But that was then,
And this is now.
Love is how.
The wide, wild sky will be open to possiblity
When the time is right,
And you let love be.
You've got trust
To be trusted again.
You can't grip your heartache tight
Like your pillow in the night,
If you want to feel the sun.
This is the age of forgiveness,
And to be a fool,
To take a chance,
And for love, too.
This is is the age of angels.
You can see them comimg
From out of the sky
To chase the loneliness
Back into the shadows.
This is the age of internal light,
Not to play it cool,
To take some risks
With your heart, too.
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 17, 2018 at 4:20 AM UTC
I keep yearning for your words like an incurable addiction.
I am frightened I am slowly getting used to living under your shadow
And soon it will be difficult for me to step out to the sun when it is time for you to leave.
Yet still, amidst this drifting thoughts heading towards your world,
Fighting storms and sea monsters
Deprived of armor and unsheltered,
Offering my pride as a bait to be ravished by unexpected vultures,
Hear I am,
Letting myself drown in this miraculous possiblity that you would give me more.
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 19, 2015 at 5:20 AM UTC
skipping a heart beat
*seemingly you,
there, in the crowd*
the lightness
of a possiblity
*to live,
to hold on*
watching kids,
their eyes
*tying of shoe laces.
reading the first word ever.
trusting a friendly hand.*
dreaming,
of home,
everybody’s there
*coloured motion,
disclosing bygones
in now lands*
not to cry
*when realising
the ephemeral
unreality of hoping*
06.05.2016
May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 11:37 AM UTC
Sometimes when you win you loose,
so hold on to all your *****
to sedate the hate
you've grown too tired to iterate
and as you hit the snooze to suppress the state of alarm within you
remember...
where've you been
what has hurt and
what has elevated you to love and light beyond mundane normality
there is pleasure in pain
and pain in pleasure
sanity in insaneness
it's all just a dream,
only the mind sees in black and white
open your eyes to colors of possiblity
and feel the depth of senses completely immersed in the experience of life...
for the way i see it,
there is not greater tragedy to reach the end of life without tasting the ecstasy of life itself ,
to die in a trapped mind, running on outdated information is the very
predicament know as the human condition
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 8:50 PM UTC
lipstick stains on
paper coffee cup lids
my brother always
told me i would have
to sit back and watch people
younger and more
inexperienced than i
succeed while i suffered.
oh but i
think he
was wrong
three conversations
and one free cup
of coffee later
things are starting
to look up for me
and i'm thinking that
i am the younger
one succeeding while
elders suffer.
*(on the flipside i
don't want to be
making sandwiches
for the rest of my life)*
and i wonder sometimes
if i'm just naturally
gifted or if i just naturally
try too hard to be liked
*(or there's an offchance
a slim blueish sliver of
possibility that the stars
have all been lined up for me)*
anyway that assumption
however incorrect it may
be is better than
last week when i
was thinking that no longer
was i good enough
*(but scratch that
nothing i ever accomplish
or that the skies
have pre-established
will make me believe
i'm good enough.)*
Aug 30, 2016
Aug 30, 2016 at 10:06 PM UTC
For them
the fear of it
of the possiblity of it
increased their fear.
Their fear became their
reality.
They lived what
no person could imagine
Their lives wre held
none so delicatly
In the hands of
Death.
Some lived through
reality
while others were
crushed into ash
by the hands of
Death.
Fear was reality
Reality was held in the hands of Death
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 26, 2013 at 12:38 AM UTC
I'd forgotten how big the sky was
How full of possiblity was a life filled with flight
Yes, Majora's
When that moon was hanging over me in such a way
It made it impossible to see the night from day
And to separate the time from the potential life
Be it without a countdown or accursed limit
But of a life outside of the dream far away
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 12, 2019 at 6:23 PM UTC
It's not possible to give what you have,
It's not possible to say what you want,
It's not possible to feel and to be felt completely,
It's not possible to love someone the way you wish,
It's not possible to touch someone the way you imagine,
It's not possible to write what you truly felt,
It's not possible sometimes to be who you really are,
We are ever changing, ever exposing, ever defining, wandering souls.
It's all about possibilities sometimes.
May 3, 2018
May 3, 2018 at 4:28 AM UTC
I wish I had the courage
When I last stood
In front of you
To tell you
And if I only could
Stand in front of you
One more time
On more moment
I would tell you
Not for your love
In return or to feel
This love that has burned
And consumed and haunted me
Both night and day
In dreams and fantasy
Pass from my lips to yours
Not to ****** your flesh
And remove your clothes
Rain my fingertips over your skin
Not to hear you whisper and moan
And shout under sheets
Not to claim your soul
Or your name
In that moment...
No
I want that moment
To reveal that this love
Smiles madly and lives completely
Feels impossibly and dances wildly
Lasts eternaly for the beauty
And perfection of the stars
And heavens and endless bliss
It finds in you
And against time and distance
And possiblity it will always stand
And burn with its hand outstreched
Should you want or desire
Or need
Or not
It will live and love
Alone or together
It exists only by the chance
And the luck of that
First moment when my
Heart knew it had always
Loved you
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 2:29 PM UTC
A drunken angel,
She, the one seeing the possiblity in every risk.
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 6, 2019 at 2:33 PM UTC
You are precious.
You are beauty,
in the purest form.
Your heart skips no beat,
for a ballerina is rhythm.
She holds a head high,
and maybe it is all she has left,
because it is not her own.
You mustn't save them.
You mustn't save her.
For the possiblity,
in all the cruelty and confusion,
you are only able to keep youreself..
from slipping away.
One hand gripped.
Five fingers.
Four.
Three.
Two.
Shot down to one.
And you have vanished.
Aug 15, 2017
Aug 15, 2017 at 12:44 AM UTC
I wished up the fragments from our last time together and cut them up to piece them together again.
I used those fabricated pieces and created a new possiblity, a new oppurtunity. I saw it so clearly.
Suddenly,
A bolt, a pang of
Foreign emotions
Plunged and sifted,
Tore through my heart
Replaceing every sweet thing I thought with doubt and anxiety. I felt the constant squeeze. It became too much.
I said no. I turned down every solution and answer. I left you alone. Without an explanation.
I don't know
What else to say.
Except
that now I wish I
Could change
so this night could
have happened.
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 9:49 PM UTC
to oversee
to "feel" neglect on some kind of truth
the one that makes you go crazy
whatever it is
it's beautiful with you
but i shook hands with an end i couldn't accept
on to the next i guess
i can't bare with the unknown regarding you
another sip
to numb my lips
imagining the possiblity of us
desiring trust from myself
can't dwell in the hell i've created for my health
living to overcome the previous days
a transit to a better tomorrow
a mentality to try and follow
for no reason but satisfation with ones self
why would i ever want to satisfy my "SELF"?
"i" shouldn't need you, this longing is at war with my being
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 2:11 AM UTC