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shåi Jul 2019
from binkies to blunts
i watched my world change
around me
like little watercolor swirls
dancing in the sky of my memories

from binkies to blunts
swingsets and playpens
seemed ever so distant
in the rearview of childhood

we traded barbie dolls
into ***** bottles
wondering why
smile lines
seemed so hard to come by

we had always missed the times
when things came easy;
naturally (almost).

from carousels to learning
how *** sells
we began to draw parallels
of who we are and what we should be
the definition of me
never seemed to have
the stability
i had long to see
ever so constantly

from closet doors to liquor stores
feelings became trapped
in the constellations of thoughts
instead of the web of words

i wish to go back
(sometimes)
to the days
with the little teacups
filled with the tinkles
of warmth and laughs
of bliss past.
its been a while ... freed myself from the chain of my thoughts only to find myself at this hour with a sudden need to write- all in one take, no edits
shåi Jan 2019
i feel my walls
closing
like elevator doors

clattering about
the deafening silence

the pressure
an ever pumping
vessel
the heart
wanting more

it was always about wanting more
never a little less
pressure
crashing against my mind

like waves

i felt
like a tiny lil mouse
enclosed in
the shoebox of my mind

wondering
with time
whether i could
really see the light

i was trapped in the maze
of my own consciousness
the puzzle pieces
never really felt complete

i doused
myself in the water
of my own thoughts
hoping to feel sane

i was like
a little guinea pig
on a wheel
churning monotoniously

such dreary remedies

the elevator door
is closing behind me
the pain subsides
keeping my mind
gently at bay
shåi Nov 2018
shot after shot
i let myself
slip from reality

as i traded shotglasses
into trips down
to the local liquor store

liquid happiness
turned into liquid sadness
as i wondered if
i could feel such tranquilities

ever again

i used my
liquid sins
to build houses
of velvet in my head

i thought i could
make the little
fires of pain
just go away

i strolled down
the streets of memory
hoping i could find
solace before the daybreak

the adrenaline rush
seemed to be all i needed
just a little something
to feel nothing....


(shai)
shåi Oct 2018
i feel like i am
hanging merely on eggshells
cracking at my feet

yellow yokes like the sun
dance crazily at the scene
a mixture asunder

the painful outsides
like shards of glass in my fingers
tear me apart

i feel like i am
walking on eggshells till i fall
into arms unknown

(shai)
its been a while
shåi Jun 2018
the sleek
cool marble
chills run
down
the stone
delineations
and curvatures
of fine hands
and legs
white and pure

her eyes
blue
a fountain of youth
i wish i could bathe in it
forever

her blank gaze
from vacant
rolling ball
sockets
falls dreamlessly
into the oblivion

tinkles of music
hum and drone
noiselessly
like spoons
clattering to
the unforgiving ground

her cold heart
exposed
as she reclines,
back arched
ever so slightly

she is without
her soul and mind
the marble
her master
keeps her confined-
her own timeless paradigm
a late night release...
shåi May 2018
flashing red
crazy eyes
her eyes
mirror her feets

like soft charcoals
hitting the refreshing ground

pebbles tap the
soil quietly
a running oasis

her garments
sweep the floor
like steam

the face
pale as the invisible air
honeykissed by the dew
of the silent nighttime

i wish to touch her
be one with her warmth
but yet
she leaves my reach
drifting like
fireworks in the dark

her mind
enlightens me
as the candle dim
i would kiss her every thought

her voice
tinkling chimes
recourse through
my being
with her i am forever home
(shåi)
i have returned from the depths of my mind
shåi Mar 2018
the woman walks
upon the
water

across to me,
hands in my reach

her hair shines radiant
as the beaming sun;
memorable, her wispy lines

her eyes
glimmer
against  
the reflective light

her world falls
on and on
her endless demise
(shåi)
from a passing dream...
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