Bruises are not always visible,
some are under the surface.

I have been through hell and back,
took a tip through the creak,
returned with bruises.

I am stronger for the wear,
but I still have deep scares
from all I bare.

Once I thought love was
going to make me happy,
because I thought that’s
what love is.

I have learned
love isn’t always happy,
love can hurt,
love can leave you
lonely and sad.

Because love is a complex feeling.

In my experience with love,
I have seen the stars light up for me
but I have also watched
as the sun collided with my universe
destroying everything I held dear.

I have loved and lost
I have fought parolees spaces
of endless time,
where love seemed so far away.

I have learned how to love myself,
do to the fact that love can’t love itself.

To love is the most selfless act there is,
because you have to give yourself
to someone else to allow it to happen.

Love isn’t about you,
love is about everything else.

Letting go of your selfish lives
so someone can love you,
that’s the hardest thing to do.

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

When I thought everything
was going well,
that’s when you let me down.

You played with my heart strings,
like a jerk on the string.

You pulled me up
until I seemed strong again,
only to throw me down.

You then picked me up again,
only to throw me down.

You bruised my heart,
with your brutal jerk.

I fell down the rabbit hole,
hearing your laugh slowly fade
as I fell deeper into the pain.

You shattered my life
like a piece of tempered glass.

You washed my wound’s
only to give me another lash.

Painful love,
is painful You.

How sad.

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

The pain of love,
the pain of living,
is something to bare.

I am made of flesh and blood,
my bones bare witness
to my life.

I work hard to live hard,
I breathe, and think,
I collide with time as if
I am its catalyst.

I can move but not freely,
for I am held down by choices.

Love has broken my every heartbeat,
with each thud
it pump’s through me,
like tiny needles
running through my veins,
pocking my every move.

Thud! Thud! Thud!
Each breath I take
is another painful
memory of you.
Love… Painful You!

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

Mixed race,
am I supposed to be labeled for having
white skin?

Why can't people see the person within?

I feel sorry for those who judge others
for not fitting into their standards.

It's sad really,
that there are still people who can't see past their own point of view.

How can you learn if all you see is you?

I am a mutt just like you,
I come from a family of different cultures and diverse colors.
We all do.

There's no difference between you and I expect I can see past the color of your skin.

Underneath the cover of skin we all look the same, we are human.

Black, yellow, and white I am all of these put into a human package.
That's what being human is,
get use to it.

Love yourself first so you can love someone else.

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

I have been told by many people that I am not a mixed race because they think my skin color is my race. Hahahaha! Oh how wrong you are. By the way my mom is Scottish and Eskimo, my dad American Indian and Italian. I also have cousins in Africa who are Black French so my dad more likely has some black french in his blood. I am proud of being a mixed race.

You are supposed to help me live longer, but sadly you cause
more pain and for me to suffer.

Starts with a pill,
ends with higher level of
pain and no time to kill.

What's the point if you don't help my pain?
I guess the doctor thinks
it's better to live longer
then comfortable.

I am lucky I am strong,
for I would have thrown you away
the first time you caused me more pain.

I suffer from high blood pressure,
I also suffer from chronic life.
Same as you my friend.

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

I fell
piece by
piece I
Life slowly
fell into place.

grew into

Like a flower,
I bloomed.

I became
a weed,
I live off living.

I leave
pieces of me
I go.

Life moves
because I move,
it thinks because
I think.
Reality is possible
because I hold it inside
of my experiences.

I live
and life thrives
because I do.

© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

I am no longer a slave to fear,
I suffered and struggled,
but all was lefted higher
when I let you cary me
through the fire.

I gathered my well
I built my wall’s stronger
all in your name,
I gave you all of my strife
and excepted my life.

I lived as life pushed on
harder, as is your well
and your desire.

You gave me kindling
to build my fire,
allowing my flame
to grow higher.

I have just one desire,
to live for you
and grow until
I can’t grow any higher.

You are my hope and dreams,
you bring me to my knees,
not in vain but for
strangth and exceptance.


© 2017 By Amanda Shelton

A prayer and poem I wrote awhile ago but never shared. I thought I should because there might be someone who needs to read it for strength. I survived through everything I have suffered because of God. Once I lifted up all my strife life got easier. I never could get through it alone.
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