9 years sober, 9 years without a drink
A daily choice, a daily choice not to drink
Today, today I choose not to
As a child growing up in Aberdeen, northern Scotland in the 60s
Alcohol was the norm – it was the culture
Drink hard, work hard
My father’s father, my grandad was a drinker and fighter, it was all he knew
Work hard, drink hard, never missed a day’s work
Come home on a Friday drunk out his mind, knock my grandma about
My dad as a boy couldn’t stand it, he would run to his aunties
Fear, shame, helplessness, insecurity, sadness, frustration, rage, anger, powerlessness, humiliation
For my father this is where the dance of addiction began, is this where it began for my grandfather 20 years previous?
And so it continues, passed down the generations
Alcohol becomes a coping mechanism, a way to dull the pain, silence the emotions
Escapism, a confidence boost, a way to feel better
Socially he drank, everyone did
He noticed some people could have 2 beers call it a night
He couldn’t
1 drink ignited the need for more, 1 was never enough
A wife, 2 daughters, a career in football
Things would happen, he’d stop for a while, couldn’t maintain it
A divorce, his life spiralling out of control, the drinking spiralling out of control
Rock bottom, rock bottom is usually the turning point, when we admit the alcohol controls us.
That’s when he found alcoholics anonymous and the dance of recovery begins…
The dance out of the darkness
Where he must retrace the steps out that led him in.
AA provided safety, understanding and friendship
A place to share, to feel accepted and heard
A place to learn how to begin to retrace those steps
And he has
To see the man he has become
The man my father is now
I am beyond proud
He changed the culture that he knew
And in doing that he showed me another way