Eyes wide open in a panic
Weighted down by both grief and my covers
My dreams, though horrific enough to make me feel manic  
Are more preferable than this nightmare I’m living, soon I’ll discover

Autopilot drags my aching body from the comfort of my bed
The cool air of my room fences me in, I am chilled to the bone
Tedious step by step, so numb I’m halfway convinced that I’m dead
How foolish to believe it was all getting better, really, I should have known

Keys in hand, I shakily open the front door  
Shocked to be faced with scattered frail drops of rain
The world is quiet, nature’s silence a deafening roar
Strangely enough, it eases the war in my brain

With a purr of the ignition, I snap back to reality
Streetlights and stoplights fly by, illuminating the dull of my face
Focused on raindrops on windshield, dreaming of all that could be
All I need is something good to finally take place

may inner peace and self love find you someday

“You fit like the sun to my moon,”
  you say, eyes twinkling like stars.
Suddenly,
I know why my soul has
Always been drawn to the night sky.

the first lie you told me was when you swore to never hurt me.
the last came the day i left when you spat that you had loved me.
dear boy,
love does not transition to past tense overnight.

Green has
always been my
favorite eye color, now
I know why. I'm drowning
in a pool of green and I have no
desire to be rescued. You could pull
me under, keep me within an arms reach
of oxygen, and I'd still call your arms home

Maybe,
I’m toxic for you or
Maybe,
you’re toxic for me.
Or Maybe,
we’re toxic together.
But maybe,
Just maybe,
You’ll be the best **** thing
To ever happen to me.

These circles we're going in will never get us out of the maze.

You tell me you love me
but you don't even know me.

The first time
your lips pressed to a steaming mug,
a smile made its way across my face.
If ever we are strangers again,
maybe we'll bump into each other in the line
of a coffee shop.

find someone who looks at you the way they look at the stars

Nothing sounds better than scalding sand on exposed feet
The initial chill after diving into a pool of frigid water
Friends gathered around a bonfire while laughter fills the air
Smells of freshly mowed grass and hot dogs on the grill
The slap of flip flops paired with tank tops to show off tan lines
Bright blue skies tucked into bed by bold, bleeding sunsets
Crystal clear nights spent stargazing, sprawled out on a blanket
Windows rolled down and golden hair tousled by the breeze
Making endless memories with those you love.

Thank you for treating me so bad, I have no problem walking away.

don't be afraid to accept the love you deserve

We parked my car in the middle of nowhere
Only gravel roads and fields of never ending gold around
The lights shut off and suddenly, it was just us and the sunset
Tonight was not for boastful reds, fiery oranges, or splendid pinks
Instead, the sun was melting down in pastel green and royal blue
The color that seeped through the middle of the sky,
was the same color as your eyes.  
Peering through the sunroof, a sliver of silver moon appeared
Only a crescent, but enough to illuminate our small town
Gazing up, stars began to show, one by one
We sat next to each other in the dusk and talked about life
Your feet on my dash, my legs crossed in the drivers seat
Our conversation came to a close and as it was time to go,
we finally looked up to a sea of stars staring back at us
You interlocked your fingers with mine once I turned the key
As I peeked in my rearview at the gleaming night sky,
I couldn't help but smile.

When you gazed at my bare body
with your hands on my curves
and called me Gorgeous
instead of hot or ****,
one of my broken pieces
slipped back into place.

I'm sorry I walked away from you dear friend.
I'm sorry I never told you my reason.
Most of all,
I'm sorry your eyes don't allow you to see
just how toxic you are.

Life is short so don't be afraid of living.
Go on wild adventures and make stupid mistakes.
Kiss the person you've always wanted and attend your senior prom.
Go cliff diving and dance in the rain.
Watch the sun rise whenever you can and tell those special people you love them.
Life is short so don't be afraid to live.

At times I have to stop and convince myself,
If you love her, you wouldn't have picked me.

Your finger tips were pure sunlight.
By the time you were done,
my body was golden.