you told me you were unlovable.
despite the hatred between us, i don't think that's true
you simply self sabotage and force out the ones who try
it's all you've been taught how to do.
you can't be helped if you're not willing to accept it.
it doesn't matter how pretty and perfect your outside is.
if your inside is rotten with negativity,
you will remain undesirable.
To all those petty high schoolers who tried so hard to force their negativity into my life;
The next time you sit and complain about people bullying you or rude to you, I hope you're able to sit back and see that you're part of the problem.
The energy you put out into the universe WILL find its way back to you. It takes absolutely nothing to be kind.
if they refuse to grow with you,
you're better off moving on by yourself.
If I've learned anything in life, it's that sometimes leaving people behind is the best you can do for yourself.
Eyes wide open in a panic
Weighted down by both grief and my covers
My dreams, though horrific enough to make me feel manic
Are more preferable than this nightmare I’m living, soon I’ll discover
Autopilot drags my aching body from the comfort of my bed
The cool air of my room fences me in, I am chilled to the bone
Tedious step by step, so numb I’m halfway convinced that I’m dead
How foolish to believe it was all getting better, really, I should have known
Keys in hand, I shakily open the front door
Shocked to be faced with scattered frail drops of rain
The world is quiet, nature’s silence a deafening roar
Strangely enough, it eases the war in my brain
With a purr of the ignition, I snap back to reality
Streetlights and stoplights fly by, illuminating the dull of my face
Focused on raindrops on windshield, dreaming of all that could be
All I need is something good to finally take place
there's a reason the words using and abusing sound so similar