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Riveá 3d
i can't stop myself
from missing your toxicity.
your venom has yet to
completely drain itself from my veins.  
your wicked ways are
still woven into my soul
your evil, encapsulates me
no matter how hard i try
i can't seem to untangle myself
from you
4d · 51
clockwork
Riveá 4d
my body is my cage
my limbs, running on auto pilot
my legs take me to the kitchen
my hands grasp the steaming cup of tea
back to my bedroom it is,
to sit crossed legged
in the center of my bed
my mind is no longer in control,
which, is for the best.
images of pill bottles
little capsules shaken into the palm of my hand
i lift my drink to my lips
warmer than i thought, my tongue burns
flashes of sharp objects on skin
and scorching flame to flesh
i swallow, the syrupy taste of
honey slipping down my throat.
my mind in a fog,
my weighted body finds the strength
to lay down, pull the covers to my chin
lights left on, clothes from that day
have yet to be taken off my body
my eyelids close as they do every night
it'll be better in the morning.
5d · 690
12/10/19
Riveá 5d
Green has
always been my
favorite eye color, now
I know why. I'm drowning
in a pool of green and I have no
desire to be rescued. You could pull
me under, keep me within an arms reach
of oxygen, and I'd still call your arms home
Dec 7 · 143
not my Romeo
Riveá Dec 7
If you were the Romeo to my Juliet, I should have died the first time.

It would have been much less of a tragedy.
Dec 6 · 106
letter to my enemies
Riveá Dec 6
before i go,
i would like to express my dearest gratitude
for all you never did for me.  
thank you for tearing my walls
all the way down to the ground
because after that,
the only direction i had to go was up.
i have been doing so much better these days
you have no idea how many times i've been told,
"you look so much better,"
"you look like yourself again,"
or my favorite,
"you're looking better than ever."
i wish i could say i did it all on my own.
But truth be told,
all those harsh words,
petty actions,
and looks of jealously that
i have received from you all,
have been to blame for my recent success.  
so please,
keep it up.
i promise it only makes me stronger.
thank you.
Dec 6 · 64
dec. 6
Riveá Dec 6
in hindsight,
i'm grateful for all the wasted tears and exasperating times.
you taught me that i deserve better
then fake love and disrespectful webs of lies.  
it wasn't until i untangled myself
that i could see how vicious you always have been;
sitting around waiting for another victim
for you to sink your fangs into.
if i could warn them, i would.
only,
i know the only way for them to learn,
is the hard way.  
like me, they will foolishly become addicted
to the honey that drips from your lips.  
they will melt under the gentle touch of your hands.
they will believe they are special to you.  
if i could save them, i would.
only time can show them who you really are.
Dec 3 · 55
12/03/19
Riveá Dec 3
love is not isolation or "i don't want you talking to them."  love is not being told what to wear or who you can and cannot spend your time with.  love is not taking shots at where you know it will hurt or using past mistakes as an excuse.  love does not simply stop the day they leave.  

love is being supported and being encouraged to be your true self.  love is being with somebody that tries to keep you safe and happy the best they can.  love is putting 100% into the relationship, not just for your partner, but for yourself too.  love is knowing that even on the down days, you will always have strong arms to hold you tight.

don't let yourself be fooled by false love.
thank you.
Nov 1 · 112
rough times
Riveá Nov 1
the bags under my eyes are almost as oversized as the t-shirts i've been living in.  upon waking, my choices consist of shakily making it through the day on cup after cup of coffee or putting myself through the misery of consciously keeping my eyelids pried open.  nights are filled with blankly staring at up at the ceiling and anxiety thoughts.
forgetting to eat has never been so easy, my waistline is shrinking daily.  they say to take it one day at a time, but each new day is more back-breaking than the last.
Nov 1 · 96
Sleepy thoughts
Riveá Nov 1
you could pull me under into your green sea and hold me within an arms reach of oxygen

i promise i won't hold it against you
Nov 1 · 92
Nightmares
Riveá Nov 1
Terrors keep you up at night.
The bags you carry under your eyes tell it all. That, and the somewhat frantic,
“Hey are you up? I just need to talk,”
2am texts.
It’s okay though,
The terrors keep me up, too.
Nothing feels worse than the sudden
JOLT that has you sitting up in seconds.
Followed by a pounding heart,
And a delirious mind,
Working to distinguish where you are
And what’s actually real.
I know the feeling,
Of being too afraid to close heavy lids
Out of pure fear of your own mind.
Thats why i promise to
try my best to keep you warm
and safe when the dark settles in.
If you let me,
I’ll even stay long enough
for the sun to rise again.
Maybe if we fall asleep together,
we won’t have as many nightmares.
And if we do,  
at least we’ll have
each other.
Wish me luck on tonight’s sleep! :,)  Let’s see what my mind brings me tonight
Nov 1 · 128
Honesty
Riveá Nov 1
If I’ve learned anything,
It’s that blue eyes lie.
Maybe green eyes don’t.
Nov 1 · 517
Maybe Baby
Riveá Nov 1
Maybe,
I’m toxic for you or
Maybe,
you’re toxic for me.
Or Maybe,
we’re toxic together.
But maybe,
Just maybe,
You’ll be the best **** thing
To ever happen to me.
Riveá Sep 5
You see, my dear, you have turned my world into a real-life romance movie.  That night you grabbed my hand and twirled me around under a star filled sky, you danced away with my heart.  You've taken me on countless adventures and shown me what the definition of Happy looks like.  Even on nights we spit fire back and forth, I don't dream of being with anyone else.  In fact, I think I'd stay even with your hands around my neck.
Sep 5 · 248
Untitled
Riveá Sep 5
counting on people for your air
is a sure way to end up drowning.
Sep 3 · 196
09/02/19
Riveá Sep 3
Do you remember that sticky, summer night
The one where we stood hand in hand
In the middle of nowhere
In front of a sea of fireflies
The song of crickets swirling in the wind
You looked like an angel in the moonlight
Your eyes, so bright they looked silver
Do you remember that night?
I do.
9:56am
May 17 · 166
us
Riveá May 17
us
fight with me
set my entire body ablaze
spit your venom in my eyes
then
tell me you love me
hold me hostage in your arms
i promise i won't leave
May 17 · 183
05/17/19
Riveá May 17
Just beyond that frail, clear glass, a storm is brewing.
Newly emerald leaves shake harshly in a spring breeze.
The sky is troubled grey with rain waiting to let loose.
My childhood flashes before my eyes.
Images of frolicking happily as water poured from above.
There was no reason to be afraid.
Take me back to those days.
Let's go dancing in the rain.
May 17 · 254
Untitled
Riveá May 17
after we fight, wrap me up tight and promise me it'll be okay.
May 14 · 203
Trapped
Riveá May 14
These circles we're going in will never get us out of the maze.
May 9 · 212
Blue Eyes Lie
Riveá May 9
You tell me you love me
but you don't even know me.
Silly boy.  Tricks are for kids:)
Apr 29 · 447
04/29/19
Riveá Apr 29
You ask me to pull my soul out of its shell and lay it before you.  
I'm fearful that once you know what I know,
you'll turn your back and run.
Apr 29 · 242
Petals
Riveá Apr 29
Forever ago, you showed up at my doorstep, flowers in hand.
Into a vase, next to a window they went.  
Stubborn, they were.  
Weeks flew by with petals bright and beautiful.
Hope was placed in my heart, it would all be okay.
Then, one night, it all came crashing down.
A single phone call spent exchanging words and tears.  
Surely, the next morning would be better.  
Waking up in the morning with a tear stained face,
I walked over to that flower vase.
Looking down, my heart shattered, I began to sob.  
Those stubborn flowers had browned and crumpled.
No more vibrant petals to admire.
Instead, I watch as petals fall bitterly to the hardwood floor.
Look down at my feet, at the heap of crumpled flowers,
I am reminded that all good things must come to an end.
Apr 29 · 165
?
Riveá Apr 29
?
long days
longer nights
in the end
is it worth the fight?
Riveá Apr 26
Let's travel back in time to that first night
Where we danced in the dark under stars bright
Your hands on my waist, your eyes a blue glow
This love, I'm sure, we could never outgrow
You know who you are
Apr 25 · 209
1:15 pm
Riveá Apr 25
Rough patches are like the rain.
Once in awhile they pour down in sheets.
Other times they sprinkle themselves sporadically.
No matter how they arrive,
dark clouds always clear
and sunshine returns.
Apr 24 · 252
Over a Cup of Coffee
Riveá Apr 24
The first time
your lips pressed to a steaming mug,
a smile made its way across my face.
If ever we are strangers again,
maybe we'll bump into each other in the line
of a coffee shop.
Apr 23 · 125
anxiety thoughts
Riveá Apr 23
deep breaths.  racing heart.  what is the teacher saying?   bouncing leg accompanied by the tap tapping of fingers.  room needs cleaned.  check needs picked up.  how long until school is out?  the secondhand has a tick.  have tests to study for.  is that a new ring on her hand?  my appointment starts at 4:30.  the AC has kicked on.  when will the weather make up its mind?  need to pay attention to notes.  need more sleep.  my shoe came untied.  the wind is blowing the trees outside.  what college do i want to go to?  did I turn in my assignment?  this needs to stop.
Here is a jumble of my thoughts from the past 20 minutes.
Apr 19 · 316
1:13 pm
Riveá Apr 19
find someone who looks at you the way they look at the stars
Apr 18 · 234
tired
Riveá Apr 18
exhausted to my core.
Apr 16 · 147
Occasionally
Riveá Apr 16
Yes,
There will be nights
You will say things
You do not mean.
There will be nights
Our words will set
The entire neighborhood aflame.
There will be nights
We cry rivers together.
I promise you,
There will never be nights
Your heart aches with loneliness.
There will never be nights
I make you sleep all alone.
Most importantly,
There will never be nights
I do not love you.
Apr 16 · 114
Here to Stay
Riveá Apr 16
When your sharp and shattered pieces lay spread before my feet,
I'll pick them up delicately
one by one.
They will be stored safely on a shelf,
until you're ready
for them to be put
back in place.
Love always
- R
Apr 15 · 126
Summer
Riveá Apr 15
Nothing sounds better than scalding sand on exposed feet
The initial chill after diving into a pool of frigid water
Friends gathered around a bonfire while laughter fills the air
Smells of freshly mowed grass and hot dogs on the grill
The slap of flip flops paired with tank tops to show off tan lines
Bright blue skies tucked into bed by bold, bleeding sunsets
Crystal clear nights spent stargazing, sprawled out on a blanket
Windows rolled down and golden hair tousled by the breeze
Making endless memories with those you love.
Apr 15 · 236
04/14/19
Riveá Apr 15
Tonight as you wrapped me up in your arms,
you held not only my body, but my heart and soul.
When you looked into my eyes and called me beautiful,
I saw not only blue, but the next 60 years of my life.
Love you always.
xoxo - Riveá
Apr 11 · 128
Goodbye
Riveá Apr 11
Thank you for treating me so bad, I have no problem walking away.
Apr 9 · 199
10:31 pm
Riveá Apr 9
don't be afraid to accept the love you deserve
Apr 9 · 289
Nightfall
Riveá Apr 9
We parked my car in the middle of nowhere
Only gravel roads and fields of never ending gold around
The lights shut off and suddenly, it was just us and the sunset
Tonight was not for boastful reds, fiery oranges, or splendid pinks
Instead, the sun was melting down in pastel green and royal blue
The color that seeped through the middle of the sky,
was the same color as your eyes.  
Peering through the sunroof, a sliver of silver moon appeared
Only a crescent, but enough to illuminate our small town
Gazing up, stars began to show, one by one
We sat next to each other in the dusk and talked about life
Your feet on my dash, my legs crossed in the drivers seat
Our conversation came to a close and as it was time to go,
we finally looked up to a sea of stars staring back at us
You interlocked your fingers with mine once I turned the key
As I peeked in my rearview at the gleaming night sky,
I couldn't help but smile.
04/08/19
Apr 8 · 757
Whole Again
Riveá Apr 8
When you gazed at my bare body
with your hands on my curves
and called me Gorgeous
instead of hot or ****,
one of my broken pieces
slipped back into place.
Apr 4 · 344
An Apology
Riveá Apr 4
I'm sorry I walked away from you dear friend.
I'm sorry I never told you my reason.
Most of all,
I'm sorry your eyes don't allow you to see
just how toxic you are.
Apr 3 · 206
Life is Short.
Riveá Apr 3
Life is short so don't be afraid of living.
Go on wild adventures and make stupid mistakes.
Kiss the person you've always wanted and attend your senior prom.
Go cliff diving and dance in the rain.
Watch the sun rise whenever you can and tell those special people you love them.
Life is short so don't be afraid to live.
Apr 3 · 419
12:15 am
Riveá Apr 3
laying in bed all alone
while night seeps through window sills and door frames
a sea of never ending darkness
the silence is deafening
as thoughts race past
eventually blurring until
only one remains
why won't it stop
craving any answer
frantically grasping at
what sanity is left
sleep suddenly knocks
at the door
begging to be let in
I need to shut my laptop and go to bed.
Apr 2 · 244
Self Reminder
Riveá Apr 2
At times I have to stop and convince myself,
If you love her, you wouldn't have picked me.
Mar 28 · 336
1:24 pm
Riveá Mar 28
Today the sky is lifeless,
the trees are barren,
and the world feels too quiet.
The sun is nowhere to be found,
no birds are singing,
even the wind is tired of blowing today.  
My body aches to be buried in a pile of blankets,
a warm place where no responsibilities can be found.  
Nothing sounds better than allowing my heavy lids fall shut,
forgetting about the long list of "to do's" sitting on my desk.  
Today, it has been extra hard to exist.
Mar 25 · 287
A Letter To My Soul Mate
Riveá Mar 25
Dear Other Half,

Here is a thank you for all you've done for me.
Thank you for the endless smiles, laughter, and memories.
Thank you for all the times you've forgiven me after a pointless argument, or after I've gotten on your nerves.
Know that I am grateful for the late nights,
the soul wrenching discussions,
and for all the times you could have walked away and didn't.
Here's my promise to love you unconditionally, care for you like no other, and do everything in my power to see you happy.  
I will never be a perfect person.
All that matters is that I'm perfect for you.  

xoxo - R
Mar 25 · 285
12:04 am
Riveá Mar 25
it's been another late night into an early morning
my mind is grasping to rationalize
the feelings you gave me today
perhaps by the time you ask
why i keep yawning
i will have my
answer
Mar 25 · 151
Sunshine
Riveá Mar 25
Your finger tips were pure sunlight.
By the time you were done,
my body was golden.
Mar 21 · 214
Give In
Riveá Mar 21
The day you left, grieving clouds filled the sky.
A fog covered all corners of our little town like the blankets that covered every inch of my body that day.
Alone in my bed, nothing but the occasional bolt of lightening to illuminate an empty room.

The only sounds were the rustling of wind from outside and the constant, pitter patter, of rain drops clashing against the roof.  
Feeling anguished, I mistakenly challenged Mother Nature.
I spoke to her,

"Who can shed the most tears?"  
"Which one of us is able to flood a river faster?"  
"Who could produce enough water to drown out all those demons that like to haunt these dreary places?"  

At first, I felt nothing could beat the soul-deep aching within my chest.
Waterfalls poured from my eyes like the lies that once poured from your mouth.
Thunder raged on in my mind, my thoughts alone could have set a forest aflame.

Though as time passed, my tears slowly began to run out.
My tortured body felt too drained to produce anymore thoughts.  
My eye lids suddenly felt the weight of lead.  
Being pulled into a state of unconsciousness, I managed a few last words.

"You win."
Mar 20 · 606
Thanks To You
Riveá Mar 20
When You told me I was selfish, did you mean it?
What about the time You said I was using him for attention?
Did that stem from your own jealousy?

The day You looked me in the eye and told me,
"You're super annoying sometimes,"  
was the same day I stopped talking.

That time You confessed,
"I'm sorry, I just don't care,"
was the last time I confided in You.

When You snapped at me out of anger,
did you realize part of me coiled away from You?

What you need to know is,
there are a number of Yous out there.
I want to say thanks to you all,
You are the reason I am who I am today.  

So when You told me,
"Wow, you've changed a lot."
Or
"You're not who I remember"

Did you ever stop and ask yourself,
Why?
Feb 14 · 469
Hand Crafted
Riveá Feb 14
Fingers seamlessly interlocked,
Lips pressed perfectly together, our
Bodies lined up like puzzle pieces.
Moments like these,
I believe you were made
just for me.
Feb 10 · 430
Run Away With Me
Riveá Feb 10
Here is my hand, baby.
All you have to do is take it,
And we’ll go make a world
Of our own.
Feb 9 · 516
My North Star
Riveá Feb 9
In my darkest times
You are the single star
that glows so bright,
I realize I only need
one star to light
my night sky.
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