It hurts,
it stings,
it makes me cry,
it makes me laugh,
it feels like my heart will explode...
why do people want this?

That night I almost went crazy
Seeing her posted up with my baby.
Not my man, it can't be...
Is this really how he doin' me?

My body on the ground
Knees to chest, heart to feet, mind gone...

This is starting out like a song...

My heart sings pain, my mind harmonizes insane...

Should mean I'm a genius but I'm just...

Heart broken.

Motivated... yet unmotivated to write...
Scared of what secrets my pen will tell,
afraid of the pain my heart will remember.
It's not writer's block,
more like heart-block.

That feeling of breaking into pieces,
scattered across the floor
rolling under the bed... my senses.
My fears cling to the ceiling,
my tears fill my bath tub.

That night my lover proved to me
that I was living a scripted TV show.
What I thought was my reality
was fake.

Pathetic I was,
for lowering myself for a man
that was never worthy to call me his.

Visions of my future disappeared,
everything got hazy.

How in four months can I get over what I though was the love of my life?

Unfortunately, I have to report that I'm DOA.

You erode my thoughts like
battery acid to an engine.
Thinking about is like
oxygen deprivation,
I'm suffocating on my desire
to be with you.

You play traffic in my mind--
at green I go
at yellow I slow down
at red my heart stops,
come to a complete halt.

If madness drove Vincent van Gogh
to cut off his ear
I wonder what extreme infatuation
will cause me to do?

Happiness called my name... but I didn't answer.
I knew that it was another trick, used to get my attention.
A set-up for the ultimate defeat and heartbreak.

I loved before... it was pure. It was good. It was quite
literally everything.
Just how the mind wakes you up
after you die in a dream because death is something
outside of our imagination so was the amount
of feelings I could have for another.

The time has come where I must let my lover
love life. That means never having the
life we talked about. All those wishes
will never be granted.

So that's why I say when happiness called I
didn't answer.
I responded the last time and now I'm sitting
here writing about having to let go the love of my life
in a puddle of tears.

Why do I write poetry?

I've never though of it
like that.
Free verse is my preferred style
that's because these words
are my diary.

I give my emotions and feelings
on a plate for no fee.
I like having the ability
to just express me.

I let the words rip...
just really as simple as that
sometimes I can rhyme
other times eh... why bother.

Whatever comes to me
is what I put down.
I know I'm finished when
my chest isn't as tight,
when my breathing
is easy...

I know I'm done when the last
tear falls down.
I know... when I feel relieved.

Yea I love to write poetry, it's my therapy.

When you find yourself in the dark
know that I am your light.
When you feel alone,
know I am right by your side.
When you think you've had enough
just think about me.
And if you fall down,
I'll be your crutch.

Left and right they fallin'
waiting to see how it hits next,
thought it was Spring but
it feels like Autumn.

I lost a friend...
and it hurts so much
I lost a friend
I wake up each morning in tears

The thought that what once was
is no more is unimaginable.
We were suppose to make it
to the top.
We were suppose to achieve our
dreams.

I lost a friend...
who I've known for
years.

I lost a friend
who became so much more.

All my memories of him are pleasant.
The only thing I frown at is me when
I would act like a brat but he knew how to
combat that.

Met him in high school but
this summer it felt like
I met someone new.

All day messaging
all night talking
even some early morning
introspecting.

Hard to believe that months later
you are no longer here with me.

I write these words with full
tears in my eyes. I can't see the page
I'm looking towards the sky literally
asking God why.

I'm heart-broken.

I had to give up my sexcapes
I started to form an addiction
and realized the control I thought
I had, had me.

No more did it become my great
escapes but left me feeling
confused and unamused...
**** it was getting hard for
me to breathe.

It was hard for me to believe
that I had sunken to that level
treating my body as a worthless
vessel, digging holes in my
soul and I was holding the
shovel.

****, that's deep...
had to look there for
the parts of me I
had lost.

Guess you can say I
got caught up in the sauce.

The satisfaction became a
fraction. Divided myself
in half and was left
with nothing.

Half a mind, half a soul, half
a body I was walking
around incomplete.

You see I forgot I was a
sun Ray and was my beacon
of hope... promise.

I  promised myself to never
travel back down that path
I picked a dandelion and
made a wish.

With help from God I'm
walking on rainbows to
my own *** of gold.

Gotta give Him praise because
sometimes the road got a lil' rough
but I remained strong.
My journey taught me
to be tough.
Taught me to endure
and have faith.

Now today I'm
celebrating because
my life is a parade.

Winter has been long, feels good to
                       finally be able to bask
                                     in the warmth
                                                    of the
                             sun.

I blew away the seed head on my dandelion flower so that it could blow away and possibly colonize the soil and make a new.
I found it on a particularly hot autumn day. I was walking around
enjoying my self. The sights, the smells, then my eyes found you.
I was reluctant at first to approach... but I decided to test my luck.

See it's a certain technique you have to have with these things
be too hard and well... you'll lose it all. It'll all go away.
Be too soft and you won't get anywhere and have your
time wasted and still risk losing it.
But with just the right amount of force you can have it
hold it right there in your hands.
Luckily for me I was always good with my
hands, so my prize was that I could claim you
just temporarily as my own.
I proceeded with my day, still with you by my side.
Finally, made it home.
I put you by the window in vase. I can be a bit
airy so it quickly came to my attention that every time the wind blew
I could lose you, I could have it all gone, taken away.
One day the window jammed and had to stay down,
I though to myself ok great, I won't lose you now
but then a new threat raised... the **** opening and
closing of the door.
I moved it to my room where there was
no sunlight, no wind, just space.
But oddly this thing just didn't like it there,
it was a true wildflower and had to have
it's way.
So I let it. Besides I went through this
much trouble so far.
Time went on and day by day the fascination of my
catch dwindled.
I could tell my time with it was coming to an end
so of course one last hooray was in order!
It was loads of fun, I relished in my victory.

I blew away the seed head on my dandelion flower so that it could blow away and possibly colonize the soil and make a new.
I found it on a particularly hot autumn day. I was walking around
enjoying my self. The sights, the smells, then my eyes found... and I bet you never knew that this poem was about you.

If a taste could be liberation
then all I want is you.
Freedom is the essence
of you're being and
I just wanna be up in it.

Chills down my spine
sweat across my chest
that's your love coming
through my pores.

It's like...
clarity with no
Claritin-D
I can breathe just fine.

I've never known myself
before, a feeling
I didn't think was true.
But I'm changing.

Wipe my slate clean
because all I want is you.
A little untraditional
but I've fallen for a queen.

A taste was my liberation
in an essence...
you allowed me
to be free, to just
let it- let me
just be.

Want you here,
just to breathe
in your atmosphere.
Hire me, make me
your career.
When we stare,
time stops,
I might fall out,
carry me on a cot.
I left my heart
on the nightstand,
where my passion began
but had to end.
When your hand
touched the door,
my heart begged for more
regrese por favor mi amigo, mi amour.

Sleep never gave me such
a sweet pleasure…
until I met you.
As soon as I wake up
I look forward to sleeping
again.
FREE, just you and me
My dreams are the only
place that a “we” can be.

My sweet serenity turned into my greatest misery.
Thinking of all the things that i used to be.
But, that was me.
Tears fall. Heart aches.
The past was the past
but I still hate...
the way things were.
I've come so far from where I was
so these tears are for the little girl, I once was.

Secret lovers... that's what we are,
  but that's what she was too to you.
     Cuddling, cradling, caressing me
        In your sheets I would lie still
                     And just be.
A phone call changed it all.
   After that you were no longer,
     who you wanted me to think
                      you were.
The
  man behind
      the lies was
         just a devil in
             disguise.

There have been others
but not quite like you.
From the first time
I saw you from afar
I knew we had a
connection.
We played a short game
of cat and mouse.
Then one day you called a
truse.
Our energies were
something greater than
you and me...
Synergy.  
Attracted like magnets
addicted like a bad habit.
I had to have you
just wanted to call
you my boo.
Late night secrets we shared
wishes of being in each other's
bed.
We were...
Connecting.
Afters hours, days,
and months suddenly
you changed our course.
No warning.
Left me figuring out how to sail
without a paddle.
You came in my life and
just rattled
my whole being.
You up and left
but didn't leave money
on the stand.
I'm confused.
I wish I knew
I wish I saw
you better from a far.
My glasses were never on
so I guess the image I had
of you was mighty fuzzy.
Had me about to change
my life and beliefs.
But I
thank you...
For showing
me how to be wise.
How to stay out of
international waters.
I'll stick to the rivers
and lakes that I'm used to.
Funny thing about Roses;
they're deceitful.
From a far they're beautiful,
colorful and just something
you wanna pick up.
But they don't really smell
that good and you gotta
be careful... you might just get
stuck if you bother to touch.

I let you in
when I should've
retreated.
You advanced while
I let things pass.
Now I'm sitting here
with a face swollen
of tears.
You said you were
competitive...
Did you win the game
of who could hurt who
the most?
Nevermind,
I'll just declare you
the winner.

Sunshine, sun bright,
sun shine on me make
me his sun ray.
Sun burn, sun turn
sun guide me to the light.
Its simple. The greens are greens the
the blues are blues isn’t evident
that it’s you who I choose?
Outdoors with one, the one, without one
I am none.

When life gets hard
and I need an escape,
I just go out and
find me a date.

To ease the pain
and run away
I get on my  back
and just lay.

Tall, short, heavy, thin
nothing matters when I'm
escaping what's within.

Too many things going on
in my head,
call me a THOT
but for the night
all I want is you
in my bed.

Or I can be in yours,
but don't call me your girl
just sssshhhh play in curls.

When I moan and shout
its me releasing all the
pain and doubt.
So the last thing I want
is for you to cover my mouth.

Don't muffle me
I do that enough to myself
all I wanna do is hear
the sound of your belt.

When your pants hit the ground
I know its going down.
But don't worry about that,
I'll go first.
Let me **** you like I love you,
let me **** you like I want you,
I'll **** you like I'll love
to never have you leave.

Bets believe its not you I want
but rather the thing
that pulsates and jumps
right between your legs.

Don't come yet
I'm not ready
don't make me beg.

As soon as you bust
then I know it's time
That I must get back
to my reality.

But I rather not be,
I like my sexcapes
they're how I keep my sanity.