050724

Ilang araw na akong namamahinga
At napapaisip ako sa Iyong pagbabalik.
Nais ko nang umuwi —
Nais ko nang magpasakop sa Liwanag.

Ang mga kapagalan ,
Ay magiging luma kinabukasan
At sa pagsipol ng hanging humihinga sa Lilim
Ay mapapawi ang anumang pait
Na mitsa ng pagkagunaw ng bawat pananaw.

Hahalik sa Kanyang mga palad
Na tila walang ibang iniirog —
Walang ibang sandata
Kundi ang pamanang
Yaman ay matatagpuan sa Kanyang mga Salita.

At walang silid na makakalimot
Sa mga burda ng Kanyang pagkalinga.
Lilisan at magbabalik —
Paparating na Siya.

You’ve moved a step forward
And life won’t be the same.
But after the round of applause
Your daydream is abruptly ended.

Now, take your turn
To walk the stage
After the microphones echoes
Projecting your name.

(3/21/14 @xirlleelang)

031224

Ako’y nilaban Mo —
Buhay ang alay Mo
Walang kapantay,
Ganyan ang pag-ibig Mo.

Saan ko man hanapin,
Saan ko man hagilapin,
Dalışay ang Iyong pagsinta
Tanging Ikaw ang hanap ng aking mga mata.

Puso ko’y Iyong nabihag
Nabihag ng Iyong Kadakilaan
Pagsamba ko’y abot langit
Ikaw at Ikaw pa rin ang sambit.

Ano pa nga bang hahanapin?
Ako’y Iyong-iyo, Sa’yo ang pag-ibig ko.
Kanino pa nga ba tatakbo?
Oras ay ‘di na hihinto, Sa’yo pa rin ang kapit ko.

05212020

Like the wind,
Like the sand —
My heart is hopeful.
To witness Your undying beauty.

I took a picture of the mountains,
And then the oceans
And those people lingering their thoughts
While serving as the highlight of the background.

I can’t deny its raging beauty
But I search for more —
I search for the Sun each day
For what boasting I could have?

I’ve been to the beach so many times,
And in different seasons.
You take me to the shore
And I’m always in awe —
Not by the beauty itself
But by who You are.
Oh, how could I stop praising You?

05222021

Hindi ko mapigilan ang himig na humihele kasabay ng Iyong tinig.
Kumakatok ang Iyong presensya sa puso kong walang laman kundi ang pagkauhaw --
Nauuhaw buhat sa mundong mapagbalatkayo.
Sa mundong sapat na ang musika ng mga palamuting may hangganan.

Sa aking pagpikit ay umuusad ang Iyong mga pangungusap,
Bagamat walang tinig sa paligid
Ay namumuo pa rin ang habilin **** tangay ng hangin.
Maging mga kulisap ay walang naggawa't nanahimik na lamang.

Batid ko ang Iyong alok na ako'y tuluyang lumapit sa Iyong paanan,
Ang trono **** ni minsa'y hindi pa nasilayan
Bagkus hanap-hanap ng puso kong pagal sa paghihintay.
At kung ito ma'y panaginip, hayaan **** ako'y manatili.

Kinabig ko nang saglit ang parteng kaliwa ng aking dibdib,
Baka sakaling ang sarili'y natuluyan nang mahiwalay sa aking katawan.
At baka ako'y hinagip na rin kung saanmang lupalop --
Kung saan sa Iyong presensya'y mananatili akong akap.

Nais ko pa ring abutin ang pangarap **** inilaan
Ang sinasabi nilang imposible
Bagkus Sayo'y natagpuan ko ang katuturan.
Ang hiwaga na hindi maipaliwanag,
Ang hiwaga na tanging Sayo lamang nahanap.

Sa bawat pahinang hindi ko kayang tapusing maisulat
Ay nais kong habiin ang aking nararamdaman,
Itong pakiramdam na hindi ko masukat;
Pagkat Ikaw ang aking Pahinga, Sayo ang paghinga.

ElNido

I found no water dripping from my hairtips
As I had that face-to-face look to my fave jeans.
Lost as when I did the transferring of feet,
I thought that departure was quite a break of heart.

The open window has sent me a bright invitation,
Sun's glaring but I never saw her fine reflection.
I felt the Air strolls through my skin
The taste of the floral serum enveloped by the sachet.

I had poured myself with the aquifer's liquor,
The remembrance of the search was over my psyche.
I could still feel the pain that excites my upper muscles
As I tried pushing and pulling to break the ground level.

Cuddling the old reversible jeans, he says I'm Free to Go,
I crowned my soul with an inner bliss and whispered to the Air.
My eyes were shut for a moment, but I was an alliance with them -
Of them whose not emptied yet * revitalizes my potential.

One boasts that *the Light was completed,
The other has kept me envy his softening skills.
I never thought that there's still hope for dull flying-tips
But they simply say, "It's not the end of bad hair days."

"Nandito ako"
"Hindi kita iiwan"
"Susuportahan kita"
"Nagtitiwala ako sayo"
"Kayang-kaya mo yan!"
"Laban lang!"

Paulit-ulit kong sinasambit sa'king sarili nang pabulong,
Tila nagdarasal ngunit ang totoo'y
Hindi ko na rin alam kung hanggang saan pa ba ang dulo.
-------------

Wala na naman akong laban sa ihip ng hangin,
Sa ihip ng panahon.
Wala na naman akong laban
At ang buo kong pagkatao'y
Kusang dudungaw sa aming bintana,
Hahagilapin ang araw,
Nasaan nga ba ang Silangan?

Gagayak ako nang walang patumpik-tumpik,
At sasabay ang agos ng tubig sa bawat butil ng aking luha,
Para bang humihinto na naman ang oras.
Walang kasiguraduhan na naman ang araw na ito.

Araw-araw ay nag-aayos ako ng uniporme ko,
At ayun, magbibilad sa initan gamit ang aking lumang motorsiklo.
Kukunin ang selpon sa aking bulsa, magpapa-load
At maghihintay ng sandamakmak na mga utos.

Minsan, napapagod ako
O sabihin na lamang nating madalas,
Na sa bawat pintuang kinakatok ko'y
Daig pa ako ng nangaroling
Sa bilang na mga baryang iaabot sa'kin ng tadhana.

Minsan iniisip kong
"Ganito na nga lang ba?
Paano ang bukas?
O may bukas pa nga ba?"

Minsan naman, nakaririnig ako ng masasakit na salita
Pero minsan parang mga bala na lamang itong
Hindi tumatagos sa aking ulirat,
"Manhid na nga ba ako?
Sabihin mo, Tadhana."

--------

Pinagmamasdan ko na naman ang mga kamay ng orasan
Kanina pa o hindi ko na malaman
Kung kelan yung huling "kanina,"
Naghihintay ako ng saklolo,
Kasabay ng huling kumpas ng mga kamay
Ng naiiwan kong kaibigang de-baterya..
"Dito na lang ba magtatapos ang lahat?"

Nagbibilang na lamang ako ng oras,
Ng hininga
At baka hindi na nila ako maabutan,
At doon ko huling nasilayan ang mga aninong iyon,
Wala na akong maintindihan..
Wala na akong marinig pa..
*Ito na marahil ang huli.

102722

She was drowning in her web of darkness
But nobody saw her struggle —
Nobody and yet her smile’s
Still as sweet as cherry in the bitter night.

Faces forced into ruins
As they look for crying shoulders.
But she kept her brilliance in her vessel
Despite her smoky and fiery red eyes.

She whispers hope
Even if her radiance is put on hold…
She says, “There’s still beauty in ashes
And painful tears could still portray
A wonderful masterpiece.”

She wipes for them as she seeks no return —
And she lends her wounded hand
While her bleeding continues
To diminish her worth.

She was dancing in the rain
Finding comfort in the blanket
Of the roaring and proud oceans.
He was leaving her existence —
With the melody of unspoken apologies
And forgotten regrets.

While some people keep changing partners —
As if it’s so, so easy
Like changing their hair or their clothes…
Hope that it’s not to avoid changing themselves.
Hope that their choice will lead them
To the betterment of themselves.

They’re so busy growing up,
Chasing their dreams —
Praying and believing that these things will last…
But they often forget
That they’re also growing old —
Old days and now it’s getting cold
And no more whispers of love are told.

Society called me
He gave me a name, a bunch of names.
So I walked the eggshells,
Peered through narrow gaps
Where curtains never met
At moon's glow or sun dull.

The pale yellow sunrise wished me Goodluck
I wanted him to be a night
So I closed the windows --
Haunting nightmares even if it's still daylight.

The sharp barks made an odd sound
People had slid wrists and knees scars
Where they too, had once dreamed
Laying themselves on the sofa by the wall.

A man opened my door while it was still dark
And in his hands was a chess board.
He said, "You didn't play well,"
There I saw his clothes -- torn.
His blood was drippin'
kissin' the laminated flooring.

A reverie --
I was in bed the next mornin'
With the chessboard beside me.
"The eggshells are fragile, and so are you"
The man left me a note.
I cried like a child, reminiscing about the old days.

The picture of mama and papa on the staircase,
They quarrel for a penny.
The laughter on the balcony
When my siblings and I had choco chips for midnight snacks.
The melody of the guitar
When my breath runs dry out of tune.

It was all in my memory,
Fresh like a heartbeat reborn.
My flesh was weak,
That's why I had these shutters all day long.

My days of years --
Society in different persona calls me.
And every day, each calls me
In adjectives and in digits.
Throwing me in suspense and horror
But I realized I was not in a movie of terror.

I met this man who had a key to my room
And I wonder why I have let him in.
My house was a disgust when I look at it with my eyes
But when his footsteps left imprints,
He had me in tears.
For the years that I've spent
was simply shredded with fears.

So again, I was looking for this man
But have never seen him.
But I was still searching for him
I am alive in just a chess board game
And how could it be?

Yes, in a chess board game
He had me "checkmate."
I won as he has won and I was reborn --
When I met this man.

081721

Bagamat dumadaplis lamang sa atin
Ang mga palaso ng kalaba’y
Hindi moog ang ating mga damdamin
At hindi rin bulag ang ating mga pananaw
Sa hayag na pagsasalitan ng mga balang ligaw.

Gaya ng durungawang nakasilip
Ay bukas na rin ang ating mga isipan
Sa mga di kanais-nais na mga patibong
Na ilang ulit inilagan sa katahimikan.
Bagkus, ang mga ito’y nagmistulang mga laruang papel
Na madaling napunit at bumigay
Buhat sa walang awang pamimihasa
Ng mga ahas at linta sa lipunan.

Tila sila’y nakasilid na lamang
Sa kahong hindi de-baterya
Habang tayo’y nagsisilipat
Sa tuwing nagsusulputan ang sari’t saring palatastas.

At habang tayo’y nananatiling panatag
Buhat sa ating mga kinatitirika’t kinalalagyan,
Kasabay naman nito ang pagyurak sa mga dangal
Buhat sa mga ideolohiyang kumikitil sa mga pangarap
At nagsisilbing diktador sa kani-kaniyang mga tahanang
Wala nang makita pang ibang dahilan upang tumahan pa.

Ang mga luhang hindi natin makayang punasa’y
Nagmimistulang mga tinik na lamang sa’ting mga pagkatao.
Syang susulpot at tutusok sa pakiramdam nating
Minsan nga’y malapit lamang tayo sa isa’t isa
At sana’y kaya nga nating patahimikin
Ang walang himpil na pag-usok sa kanilang ipinagbabaka.

At sa ating paghimlay sa ating mga kumot
Ay sabay din silang mangungulila
Sa mga akap at lambing ng kanilang mga mahal sa buhay
At hihilinging huminto na lamang ang mga sandali’t
Makatakbo sila’t makalisan nang walang nakakapansin.

070518

I heard the Thunder's wrath
But I was so assured that I can breathe
In His awakening breath called "life,"
While the waves urge to lie,
To distort or tear down one's walls
Dark turns darker,
In his flesh, he alone calls.

There're colors over the street
And they seemed embarrassed when the Lighting came
His eyes are on fire, some have never adorned
Their strength, by their might
A cloth and shelter of their own.

Those colors depict hope, One's full revelation
Scattered unto nations but some denied, left behind
And by their feet, they've trampled it down
And have let no fear in Him
Dwell unto their hearts; instead, boast on their crowns.

So again, those colors unfold a promise --
A promise of reliance when we're about to be drowned in the sea,
A crowning glory full of assurance and confidence
That we shall arise as One Nation
And the waiting will be over.

When before, we started to call
He has left no one hanging on a tree
While such faces were getting too close
And it's too much.


Too much to bear that the freedom they boast
Is no longer in Truth,
And they laugh while drinking
Into their own blood
Sealed with their own names
That they rather put colors
In variance and forget that it's a loss of purpose.

Words were floating upon them
But they yearn for pride
For their very own indulgent
Turned out to be their way and it has become "final" to them
That they're ever free to choose and do.

Why is it when we speak the Truth
People scatter and grumble
As their faith, distort
In the loss of confusion.


If grace then was a lottery
Then there'll be no salvation
But indeed it was free,
So why don't one grab it
And embrace redemption.

Yes, we can love but be still in His grace
Coz hope isn't to perish for the ones who call for it
Never dethroning the One who first spoke
So please, do things not because of wants and for earning.

I would love it when the Sun comes down now
But grace is the period and we call it "now"
So friends whom we love
Do seek righteousness and grip on it in tight
Coz when the latter day comes,
One will perish while one is left behind.

If we seek the Truth
Truly, let the heart endures
Let revival take the sword and fight for its cause.
No more crying for the ones you wished there were more
So now, never lack
Even a moment to recall.

The real war is not on the outside
It is on the inside
When you can fight
And overcome the lusts
And demands of your flesh
When you can turn to God
Instead of your habits
And find pleasure
Peace and solace
In the things of the spirit
When you can master yourself
You will have the power you need
To change your life
And the world around you.

013024

Walang ibang saksi
Ng mga binhing kusang umuusbong.
At walang ibang tutugon
Sa walang katapusang paghikbi.

Daig pa ng liwanag
Ang kadilimang baluti sa’king mga mata.
Ngunit tila ba ako’y hindi pa rin handa
Sa mga balang tumatagos sa’king katauhan.

Nauuhaw pa rin ako
Sa mga salitang “Mahal kita”
Ngunit sa bawat pagtagisan ng mga salita’y
Puso ko rin ang kusang lumilisan.

Marahil ang paghilom ay isa lamang panimula
Ngunit sa ngayo’y ang mga pahina’y
Nasa dulo na ng aking katapusan
At paano nga ba muling makasasandal?
Paano nga ba muling magsisimula?

052824

Sa tuwing hinahagis ko
Ang aking sarili Sa’yong harapan,
Ay nais kong isakatapuran Mo rin
Ang bawat pangakong inilathala’t
Ipinagtibay ng dugong dumanak sa Krus.

Sa tuwing kumukulimlim na
Ang aking mga mata’y
Gusto kong magtago Sa’yong lilim
At doon ang aking pahinga.

Isisigaw ko ang lahat ng aking pangamba
At lulusawin ng pag-ibig Mo
Ang bawat tinik na pumipigil sa’kin para huminga.

At kung pupwede lang
Na patigilan Mo ang bawat ritmo ng oras
Upang panandaliang maibsan ang aking pangungulila —
Kung pwede lang sana.

Sa mga buhangin ng aking pagkukunwari’y
Kusa Mo akong aanyayahan
Sa malalim at malawak **** karagatan.
At kailan nga ba ako matututo?
Kailan nga ba kita masisilayan
At massasabi nang aking mga mata’y
Ikaw ang tanging totoo?

Nasasabik ako
Sa tuwing sasalubungin Mo ako ng pag-asa
At kalakip pala ng pagtiklop ng bawat umaga’y
Ang yakap **** mainit
Na tumatawag sa’kin na mas piliin pa ang malalim.

Taliwas sa aking sariling prinsipyong
Binahiran ng mga haka-haka
Ang kapangyarihan ng tunay na pananampalataya.
At Sa’yo pala mawawalang bisa
Ang bawat kuro-kurong
Hinayaan kong magsilbing masasamang damo
Sa hardin ng aking pagkatao.

Ngayo’y bubuksan kong muli
Ang aking pintuan
At wala nang iba pang makagagapi
Sa Tinig **** ginawa ko nang pader
At pugad ng aking bukas
Na Sa’yo ko lamang iniaalay.

They were once meaningless
I write and in one, two and three
The transgression made its way to you
They became lyrics,
My hymn towards you.

Eradicating you made me at ease
Til lines intersect
There was no division
The strategy became a multiplication
Where the factors were lost as digits
There’re no emotions at all.

We were destined
To know the factors
To solve the x and y
Then, sections were subdivided.

I was in y, you were in x
As if we’re in supplementary angles
Why’re we apart?
Can two junctions be aligned?

The triangle was secluded
With the main angle,
The base, the height
The hypothenuse uploaded the main formula.

Never will I resolve this
For formula was never been taught
As if I’m doing such trials and errors
Til I get tired
And be drowned by head and heartaches.

The compass would never shape you
The ellipse would not offer you mass
There were no vectors at all,
Now, its just the dot
The single one which may point me
Towards the possible focus of such lines.

(2/23/14 @xirlleelang)

071216 #6:53AM

Before you,
My life was just the way it was,
Everything was in its motion
And I do know,
Love isn't void.

Then, you became that revolving planet,
Away from your own axis.
My heart was in collision
For I thought you're just in time --
Just in time to carry my loads,
To breakfree me with a non-universal smile.

But after love has conquered its fear to love again,
I was stomped and that love,
You tore it to be invisible.
In you, it became impossible.

The moment I did stop for awhile,
Was also tht moment I thought I lost the fight.
And the way I've known love
Was intended to forgiveness,
To cuddle myself freed.

I have loved you
And I held you for too long.
Yet, just in time, I have to let you go --
Just in time,
Real love will be bound by its own.

Your eyes be given to the Great Beholder
His days are your thousand years.
You are but a breath;
But here I am, to stretch out
Every pile of your foundation.
Only by grace, never will you be pit-slipped.

Let darkness be not proud of itself
I have come to bring halt those terrors
Even those rebellious thoughts of yours
All together, they’re leeches to your soul;
I will arise your soul instead,
Only if you let me change your heart.

I never am distant, let me hold your life;
You can breakthrough the dark in defense
I’ll arise with His Light, w/ the Heaven’s army
And we shall meet as my Kingdom come.

Bright is the moon; impure are the stars
But you are ever-special to me
Never had your course be shifted
By the Throne Beholder.

I’ve known you very well,
Truth, I give to You
I am your Blood Donor.
You breathe, “Yahweh”
For I have restored our entity.

Never will I leave my heritage,
Coz you are my heritage,
And inside of you is a living generation.
You are more than my life; you are my life.
*Only, will you allow me be your life?