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Oct 5 · 234
Lilim
Sy Lilang Oct 5
Umaga —
Oras na naman para bumangon
Para buhatin ang sarili
At akayin ito
Patungo sa walang kasiguraduhan.

Sa mga tala kagabi,
Aking pinagnilay-nilayan
Ang mga katagang pa-na-hon
Na sa mga oras na ito’y sisibol muli
Ang pag-asa buhat sa delubyo ng kahapon.

Tinitiis ko ang sinag ng tirik ng araw
Para bang hindi nya naisip
Na nasasaktan ako —
Na sa tuwing bubuksan ko ang aking bintana’y
Nariyan sya at tatambad sa akin..
Para bang walang nagbago,
Para bang hindi nya ako dinaya kahapon
O sa ibang araw pang lumipas.

Gusot ang damit ko,
Ni hindi ko man lamang nagawang plantsahin ang damit ko
Na para bang sinisigaw ko sa mundo na,
“Tama na! Pagod na pagod na ako!”
Pero nakatikom pa rin ang aking bibig
At pilit akong lumuluhod sa aking mga luhang,
“Wag muna, wag muna ngayon.”

Minsan na rin akong nakalasap ng tagumpay
Yung tipong minsang bumago sa kung sino ako ngayon,
Ito yung minsang alam ko namang may kapalit —
Yung panghabambuhay na..

Naniniwala pa rin akong pantay ang pagtingin ng Langit
Sa katulad ko at sa katulad nila
Kung ang ulan nga‘y
Sabay na babagsak sa dukha’t gintong kutsara,
Gayundin ang pag-asa.

Hindi ako mapapagod,
Hindi ako titigil na bumangon sa umaga
Hindi pa rin ako titigil sa pasasalamat —
At pagbubuksan ko pa rin ang Umaga.
Sep 8 · 332
Salamin
Sy Lilang Sep 8
"Nandito ako"
"Hindi kita iiwan"
"Susuportahan kita"
"Nagtitiwala ako sayo"
"Kayang-kaya mo yan!"
"Laban lang!"

Paulit-ulit kong sinasambit sa'king sarili nang pabulong,
Tila nagdarasal ngunit ang totoo'y
Hindi ko na rin alam kung hanggang saan pa ba ang dulo.
-------------

Wala na naman akong laban sa ihip ng hangin,
Sa ihip ng panahon.
Wala na naman akong laban
At ang buo kong pagkatao'y
Kusang dudungaw sa aming bintana,
Hahagilapin ang araw,
Nasaan nga ba ang Silangan?

Gagayak ako nang walang patumpik-tumpik,
At sasabay ang agos ng tubig sa bawat butil ng aking luha,
Para bang humihinto na naman ang oras.
Walang kasiguraduhan na naman ang araw na ito.

Araw-araw ay nag-aayos ako ng uniporme ko,
At ayun, magbibilad sa initan gamit ang aking lumang motorsiklo.
Kukunin ang selpon sa aking bulsa, magpapa-load
At maghihintay ng sandamakmak na mga utos.

Minsan, napapagod ako
O sabihin na lamang nating madalas,
Na sa bawat pintuang kinakatok ko'y
Daig pa ako ng nangaroling
Sa bilang na mga baryang iaabot sa'kin ng tadhana.

Minsan iniisip kong
"Ganito na nga lang ba?
Paano ang bukas?
O may bukas pa nga ba?"

Minsan naman, nakaririnig ako ng masasakit na salita
Pero minsan parang mga bala na lamang itong
Hindi tumatagos sa aking ulirat,
"Manhid na nga ba ako?
Sabihin mo, Tadhana."

--------

Pinagmamasdan ko na naman ang mga kamay ng orasan
Kanina pa o hindi ko na malaman
Kung kelan yung huling "kanina,"
Naghihintay ako ng saklolo,
Kasabay ng huling kumpas ng mga kamay
Ng naiiwan kong kaibigang de-baterya..
"Dito na lang ba magtatapos ang lahat?"

Nagbibilang na lamang ako ng oras,
Ng hininga
At baka hindi na nila ako maabutan,
At doon ko huling nasilayan ang mga aninong iyon,
Wala na akong maintindihan..
Wala na akong marinig pa..
*Ito na marahil ang huli.
Hindi pa huli ang lahat,
Kaya mo pa --
Kaya pa natin.
Ituloy ang laban; ituloy mo lang.
Pangako, magtatagumpay tayo..
Kapit pa, kaibigan!
Sep 8 · 104
The Race of One's Self
Sy Lilang Sep 8
Faith isn't about competition,
We don't run this race to compare one's self to one another,
We don't run and bump each other.
We're not to offend those who fall and backslide,
We don't condemn people as the Spirit brings conviction.

But instead, we give a hand to the lost,
We should be building up each other
Instead of tearing each other down.

We run from the very beginning
'Coz we know what kind of battle we're facing,
And it's a battle against ourselves --
A battle with our own flesh
That will also soon die
And shall return into dust.

We live by grace
And we don't need to pretend we've never lied,
For in this world, everything is permissible
But not everything is beneficial.
So we choose our battle wisely,
We aim the target of not falling away
And remaining in what we've started --
Remaining in faith.

We fall and we rise;
But we are forgiven,
We are in Christ.
So we should no longer live in sin,
For sin has no hold in us
When Jesus becomes enough for us.

And like Jesus whose eyes are fixed to the Father,
We challenge ourselves each day,
To live a life with purpose,
With meaning and with hope --
That one day, we'll also rise
As what we always proclaim by faith;
We'll also rise as Jesus did!
Glory and honor and power to the One who we're exalting!
Aug 29 · 393
Ama
Sy Lilang Aug 29
Ama
08292020

Nagbibilang na lamang ako ng oras
Upang ang bukas ay tuluyan nang kumalas
At kusang sumabay sa palakpakan
Sa entabladong nakatikom sa aking damdamin.

Ilang taon nang nakikibaka ang Iyong mga kamay
Sa modernong pagkatha at paglikom ng mga salapi.
At sa aming hapag-kaina’y ilang ulit na akong tinutukso
Ng mga matatamis na panimula sa telebisyon —
Na baka sakaling matikman ko rin
Ang hain nila sa sarili nilang hapag-kainan.

Minsan akong nangulila
Buhat sa kawalan nang may mga katanungang,
“Sino nga ba ang tama?”
Na sa paulit-ulit na pagtatapon ko ng mga ito’y
Ang mga ito rin ang sumasampal sa aking pagkatao.

Ngunit ang totoo’y:
Nilimot ko na ang mga katanungang iyon
Hindi ako sumabay sa agos ng galit
Na bumabawi sa aking paghinga
Na tila ba ako’y pagod na
At gusto ko na lamang manahimik mag-isa.

Nais kong sambiting
Hindi ako nagalit nang minsan mo kaming pinagtaksilan,
Inisip ko na lamang na iba ang latag ng kapalaran —
Iba ang laro sa loretang ito
At hindi ito madali —
Pero ito’y panandalian.

Siguro nga —
Iniisip **** saan nanggaling ang mga ito
Ang mga salitang tila ba hindi ko man lamang pinag-isipan
At tuluyan kong binitawan
Gaya ng pagbitaw mo para sa amin.

Pero gaya ng sambit ko —
Hindi ako galit,
Hubad ang aking emosyon
At umaapaw pa rin ang aking pagpapasalamat
Na sa mga oras na ito’y —
Hindi mo kami iniwan.

Higit pa sa pagpapabatid ko ng pasasalamat sa ito’y,
Nais kong ihagis ang aking mga kamay sa langit
Na tila ba higit pa sa nagagalak ang pakiramdam
Ang aking puso’y tiyak na ang grasyang alay ng Langit
Ang gumawad sa akin ng kalayaan.

Malaya akong piliin ang saya kesa sa galit,
Na parang paghihimay ng mga butil ng buhangin,
Parang imposible, di ba?
Pero naging posible
At wala na akong maihain pa
Kundi ang umaapaw kong pusong
Ginawang Malaya ng Maykapal.

Lubos ang aking pagsamba,
Salamat Ama.
Salamat sa dalawa kong ama at Ama.
May 24 · 686
Tula
Sy Lilang May 24
05242020

Ikaw --
Ang tula sa'king gabi,
Ang tulang 'di isantatabi.
May 2 · 420
Gamu-gamo
Sy Lilang May 2
05212020

Ito ang gabing
Ako mismo ang sisira sa pangako ko —
Sa pangako kong ililibing ko ang sandaling
Mistulang nabihag ang buo kong pagkatao
Natapos ang mga petsang hindi ko na mabilang pa.

Panaginip —
Ika-11 ng gabi, naggising akong muli
Nasilayan kita
Nasilayan ko syang humahakbang papalapit sayo
Natakot ako, siguro nga
Wala naman kasing nagbago.

Natatakot pa rin akong hindi tayo magtagpo
Sa aking paghihintay sayo.
Ni hindi ko maitali ang sarili sa pagsambit ko ng “oo.”
Siguro nga, nag-aabang pa rin ako gaya ng dati —
Siguro nga isa na lamang akong
Gamu-gamong alaala ng kahapon
Na sa paupos na kandila’y
Tuluyan na ring maglalaho.
May 2 · 377
Hulmahan
Sy Lilang May 2
05022020

Nagbibilang ako ng mga pahinang
Ni minsa’y hindi ko binura
Ni minsan, hindi ko binasura.
Hinuhulma ko pa rin ang aking mga kamay sa buwan
Na sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya’y
Sumasagi sa’king isip ang unang tulang
Binigkas ko sayo nang biglaan.

At habang pinagmamasdan ko ang aking mga palad,
Ay kumukunot maging ang aking mga kilay
Kasabay ng kumot sa gabi sa bawat paghikbi.
Hinulma pa rin ba ang mga palad para sa isa’t isa?
O ang minsang nagpahinga’y
Bawal na rin bang bumalik para magsimulang muli?

Nauutal ako —
Sa tuwing sinisigaw ko saking isip ang pangalan mo
Ang bawat letrang dahan-dahan kong sinusulat
Sa aking alaala, saksi ang pintig ng pusong may pangamba.

Nasisilaw ako —
Na sa bawat pagpikit ko’y
Tila suntok ka sa buwan kung makakamtan muli.
Nasisilaw ako —
Sa tuwing hinihiling kong pagbuksan
Ang puso **** kinakatok at niluluhod sa panalangin.
Sy Lilang May 2
05022020

I was standing in the middle of worship
People were worshipping God
And everyone was singing.
There’re pairs but they don’t have any relationship
One sings beside the other, one sings alone.

There were two different hymns
Or everyone was just voicing their hearts out
I ain’t a singer and yet I heard my voice good.
And together with others,
The first song I was singing was a heavy song
I was about to kneel,
I was bowing my head.

And there I recognized that many songs are being sung.
I heard someone said from the back,
“Kelan ba papalitan yung kanta?”
I recognized what has been said
But I can't control the words coming from my mouth,
And from the bottom of my heart,
It just felt so natural --
It felt so relieving.

Both of my hands started grasping a railing
As I continued in the spirit of worship.
And then the song changed to an upbeat one
And then to “Hosanna.”

While everyone was singing “Hosanna”
Someone has changed in the atmosphere.
I saw my body gliding and others too
People started coming while I was singing with others.


Some remained walking towards us --
Seeing but they’re only looking at us
But I never heard and seen anyone of them singing.
I was even shocked with myself
Because I was dancing like I was a good dancer
Those who sing also do their dancing
As if we were leading everyone else
But it seems they have another place to go with.

I recognized that they were walking
While I was flying with others.
Then I saw a man who’s also dancing and singing
And he was very good at it
We continued guiding those who are walking.

Then, the scene turned out to be an LRT station
But there was no means of transportation
I saw people strolling beside a platform
On my right side
And they’re somehow stuck
But I saw no reaction from them.

And there was a stair going upwards
It's like in the form of an escalator
I was holding the railing and it was steady
But the steps seemed to be invisible
All I know was: it’s a staircase.

Then I saw the man singing and dancing earlier
Telling the people to raise their hands
And they turned to look like zombies
They were obeying and copying what was instructed to them
And we were all giving them examples
As we do the “arms forward” thing.

Then I heard someone said,
“There’s something wrong,”
And he was pertaining to those people in the platform
They were about to chase a woman
And he pointed her out
And then the dream ended —
The dream ended and as I opened up my eyes,
I found my heartbeat too fast.
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03162020

The world needs to shout to be heard.
At first, we hear peace, contentment, success,
Joy, unity, encouragement, and love.
But all together,
It’s no longer the sound of music.

No longer about our plain existence
But of greed, power, abuse, hatred or clamor.
But there’s always a greater Voice
Who keeps on knocking into our hearts
And that Voice needs to be heard.

In the silence of the world,
There’s a Voice who choose to speak life —
The Voice who weighs one’s soul,
The Voice who rebukes and confronts,
And The Voice who saves and forgives.

And You are most heard..
I hear You as You whisper,
Not like the other days
When day shifts find no break..
Not when I was relieved by doing well in life,
And not when happiness seems like a plunge of cola in my throat.

I hear You when I call on Your Name —
When I am on my knees shaking, begging for answers..
When I am rejoicing and in my excitement,
I choose to tell You first what’s written in my heart.

I hear You as I stop from crying
As I learn to surrender it all
To Your Name, Jesus who’s ever so powerful..
I hear You more as I wait for Your turn to speak
When I was so desperate with my crazy but true faith in You.

I hear You more and more
And it feels like there’s a fire within me,
Like the days of Abraham in the burning bush.
It feels like Your provision is already in my hands,
Like Elijah being fed by the angel when he felt he’s all alone.

It feels like having a new name and new beginning,
Like Jacob being Israel as You called him to be.
It feels like I am back to my confidence that there’s nothing to harm me,
Like Daniel witnessing the lions being tamed.

It feels like I am walking into deliverance,
Like Moses and the Israelites walking in the parted Red Sea.
It feels like everything the enemy has stolen will soon be restored,
Like Job’s restoration of life.

In this pace of life,
In this first to third months,
You’ve revealed and reminded us of one thing:
That one of Your love languages is to whisper —
You whisper coz You’re near, and so we’ve nothing to fear.
1 Kings 19:11-13

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

John 10:3-6

To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus used this illustration, but they did not understand the things which He spoke to them.
Apr 11 · 151
There is No
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03132020

There is no weakness in You —
Your Name is power and strength,
You are my light and confidence,
In this world that’s not tired to alter.

There is no impossible in You —
Your Name is shield and security,
I see prayers as a strong weapon
In this world full of manmade adversaries.

There is no sorrow in You —
You are the joy in my heart,
The peace who calms my soul,
In this world full of clamors and anxieties.

There is no oppression in You —
You are the voice deep within me,
That bold conviction of saying “No!
To this world full of temptations and sins.

You will be forever praised,
The throne is still Yours and we’re simply here in just a glimpse,
In this borrowed golden times we don’t forget,
That it is You who keeps us alive and awaken still.
Apr 11 · 156
Is It Time?
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03202020

One of these faded nights,
I got awaken with revelations over my pillows.
I heard something I longed to compare
With something’s already present.

It was actually last night,
But my eyes were still shut
So I can’t recognize if it’s a dream or not.

It’s not a sweet sound
Nor a horrific one
It’s not even as long as my breathing per second,
Not even as short as the whisper of the wind.

But to recall —
I was liked, “Is this the time?”
I’ve heard it but I was not sure where it came from,
I was never sure if I truly woke up or not.

So today, it was different
But I’ve got reminded of God’s promises
That He’s coming back so soon —
So soon that one will no longer his/her name.
Apr 11 · 131
Quarantine
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03202020

You’ve let our doors closed,
And one time I heard You —
It was so quick but a banging in my heart.
As You say we still don’t know what we’re doing.

I thought it would be the end for us..
For we as one nation and one world
Fall short to Your glory each day —
It was never boring in Your presence.

But Lord, here we are with our empty plans,
Still asking for Your undying grace..
You were never upset over us
But You interceded instead.

It was like Your uttered prayer in the Gethsemane,
You’ve proved Your power to heal,
You were so confident w/ Your might to save,
And yes, I will believe over and over again.

We have so much to offer
And we’re no longer counting stars each night,
But each day to rise again,
We’re counting on You.

So Lord, let Your will overcome our fears
For this world we never hold,
For even this time we choose to lose grip —
We are one in You.. and so be with us.
Apr 11 · 236
Nothing You Cannot Do
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03232020

When terror tends to rise,
Your mercy will unveil
When the world loses its sight,
Our faith will be our eyes.

When the strong one loses his strength,
You’re the Core upon our lives
When the mountains shake and trembles,
Our weapon is our praise.

When the sun won’t extend its rays,
We’ll declare and lay our hands
When the seas no more split,
We’d still believe in miracles!

There’s nothing in this world You cannot do,
You cannot do
There’s nothing in this world
Will remove our eyes that’s fixed on You.

Hallelujah, Yours is the Victory
Hallelujah, trample down all enemies
Hallelujah, Heaven down to earth
Hallelujah, Jesus saves eternally
Proverbs 3:21-22

My son, do not lose sight of these — keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.

Proverbs 4:25-26

Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.
Apr 11 · 123
Breaking Chains
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03252020

Today’s tragedy was a misery
But you’re a cloud of dust under our feet!
As we pray and shake the Heavens,
We call you defeated in Jesus’ Name!

You boast as the sun bathes and melts
You steal peace even it’s time to sleep,
You’ve killed lives that belongs to God,
And destroyed homes that are meant for worship.

You’re just enough with your pride,
You **** with an evil smirk but hey,
For soon we’ll laugh at you —
We’ll laugh at you with the banner of the Lord raised!

You can **** the body with one strike
But every soul’s safe sound in His arms
Angels of God, break the chain of Your might!
Apr 11 · 113
Magnified
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03252020

There’re trees in the backyard,
And they remind me of a Truth,
That You‘re the vine and we’re the branches
And so here we remain in You and You in us,
You bear us the fruit of wisdom,
For nothing, we cannot do apart from You.

There’re fruits in the table,
And among it, I found one who’s sweet,
It tastes good in my soul,
Oh, it gives me inner peace.
What a delight it is to have confidence in You
That even in bitter days, my taste’s become better.

There’re birds outside the window,
And here they’ve found shade for awhile..
The curtain welcomes and we share the same air,
Just like how the same rain pours into good and the bad,
The God who whispers strength to the weak,
Is the same God who humbles the proud.

There’re fishes among different oceans
But only a fisherman knows how to bait them right,
As when Jesus called his disciples
He called them by their names they didn’t even mention.
He saw what’s inside them, what others’ outlook
And that’s how You save and keep saving.

Everything in this world is temporary
But those temporary things magnify one Name,
They speak one Truth and never contradicts
As wisdom runs unto the veins of the lost.
As Your sheep, we hear You call
The beauty of Your words becomes refreshment to our souls
We are alive in Your whispering,
And we hear You shouting over every misery.
Apr 11 · 88
Holy, Holy, Holy!
Sy Lilang Apr 11
03272020

In this world, all fall short of Your glory
No man has ever seen You
You sent Your servants for us to know You
Yet You reveal Yourself to those who truly seek You.
No man can’t fake himself,
We are naked before You —
You know our darkness,
You know how to save.

We’ve known you in while we were still sinners,
And Your love brought transformation
For we’re surrounded by You..
Your wrath is what we truly deserved
Yet You so loved us and You keep on loving —
Loving us that You saved us.

You don’t deserve our punishment,
You don’t deserve the wrath of the Father,
Yet You yourself died for our salvation,
You died to satisfy His righteousness,

Oh holy, holy, holy are You!
And when we say holy,
There is nothing like You!
You are magnified in the Heavens
And here we are praising You
On earth which is Your footstool.

Who can stand against You?
Your grace is just so sufficient
More than how we breathe the air
And we’re satisfied..
Who can rule more than You?
For in Your uptight hands, You hold us together.

Who can separate us from You?
Your Words are written in our hearts
May we not sin against You..
You're more than good,
There’s no better replacement —
I mean, You really can’t be replaced.
Apr 11 · 732
PaHINGAhan
Sy Lilang Apr 11
04012020

Hinga, buga
Hinga, buga
Ganyan nga
Langhapin mo ang sariwang hanging pabaon Ko sayo,
Kasama ng mga pangakong kalasag at kalakasan mo,
Mga pangakong magsisilbihing pahingahan mo,
Mga pangakong ilaw mo sa dilim
Na mas maliwanag pa sa Buwan at mga bituin
Mas maliwanag kaysa sa mga alitaptap
Na sinusundan mo ng tingin.
Na sa tuwing tiyak ang ligaya o lungkot **** taglay
Ay napapawi nito ang sakit
Ang hikbi ng puso **** walang ginawa kundi umiyak
Ang bilis ng tibok na puso **** paulit ulit na kinakabahan —
Kinakabahan na mahuli ang iyong kamalian
At hindi tanggapin at akayin ng kahit na sinuman.
At habang pasan mo, tagumpay man o kabiguan
Ay matikman mo rin na hindi ka lang basta-basta
Hindi Basta-bastang buhay lamang
At nagtatago sa dilim.
Hindi ko hinayang madala ka ng dilim
Hindi kita dinala sa dilim para ikay maging sakim
At mapuno ng kirot ang kawalan mo ng pag-ibig.
Huminga ka na may gayak,
Huminga ka nang May pag-asa.

Hinga, buga
Hinga, buga
Ganyan, paulit ulit hanggang sa makuha mo ang tamang tiyempo
Nang masabayan mo ang binabato kong mga ritmo
Ibuga mo ang iyong mga kamalian
Ibuga mo ang iyong mga kasalanan —
Mga kasalanang tila isang kumunoy na humahatak sayo
Pabalik sa kadiliman
Mga kasalanang minsan mo nang iniwan
Tama na ang paghinga sa walang kasiguraduhan,
Tama na ang pagsambit na kasalanan mo naman
Tama na ang paulit-ulit na bersyon mo ng “Ayoko na ng kasalanan at gusto ko na tong iwan,”
Ngunit nariyan ka pa rin,
Humihinga ka pa rin sa iskwater na minsang ika’y parang sardinas na nakasiksik
Tama na, tama na Anak.

Hinga, buga
Hinga buga,
Naghihingalo ka na
At paulit-ulit **** nasasaktan ang iyong sarili kahit Sabi Kong tama na
Naghihikahos ka na —
Ngunit wag **** isiping napapagod ako
Na sa tuwing nakikita kita sa iyong kahinaan
Ay napapagod na rin akong gamutin ka.
Pagkat hindi ako nagsasawang mahalin ka,
Na sa tuwing sinasabi ko sayong
Umuwi ka sa akin ay naghihintay ako sa pagbabalik mo
Na hindi ako nagsasawang maghintay sa pagsabi ****,
“Ama, narito na ako.”

Hinga, buga,
Hinga, buga
Malayo pa Lang ay nakikilala ko na maging ang iyong anino
Ang iyong pagsisisi buhat sa iyong paglisang makasarili
Ngunit buo ang aking pagpatawad
At ang pag-ibig ko’y dalisay at wagas
Na sa Krus ay dumanak ang dugo ng bugtong kong anak
Ang Anak ko si Hesus na nagpalaya sa iyo
At nagbigay sayo ng daan patungo sa katiyakan
Naririnig ko na
Ang mga padyak **** sabik sa aking paglambing
Ang mga pandinig **** naghihintay sa aking mga Salita
Na pinuno ko ng siksik, liglig at umaapaw kong pag-ibig
Maging ang pagtambol ng puso mo sa kaba
Nakikilala ko ang lahat sayo at sana alam ****
Sanang alam ****
Matagal nang bukas ang ating pintuan para sayo,
Oo ating pintuan at hindi pintuan Ko lamang.
Tahan na Anak, tahan na at nakauwi ka na
Nakauwi ka na sayong tahanan.

Hinga, buga,
Hinga, buga
Tayo na anak,
Sa akin ka na mamahinga.
Apr 11 · 95
Wonders
Sy Lilang Apr 11
04112020

You bring wonders to our hearts
And set fire deep within us
Your Words are our might,
Flying arrows of enemies are shut -- You are a consuming fire.

You bring us to depths of this world
For us to gain endurance by grace
All the hardships in this world
Are not too great with what You've already done
You shed Your blood, You have saved us!

We call unto You in our imperfections
You remain the same like no other
You are faithful with Your Words
And You are a shield to those who seek You
The strong tower where we run
In calamities and all arrows.

You are our Father in Heaven,
The Bestower of grace that's so sufficient
Sin has no hold on us
For we are in Your arms
You're the light in our darkness
And no darkness cannot tame You.

We love because You first loved us
You created us in Your Image
That is the image of Jesus Christ,
The Way, the Truth and the Life
Let us not be tired these days,
For You shall come soon
And so we prepare and get ready,
Your Kingdom is coming soon!
Sy Lilang Mar 22
03202020

You’ve let our doors closed,
And one time I heard You
It was so quick but a banging in my heart..
As You say we still don’t know what we’re doing.

I thought it would be the end for us..
For we as one nation and one world
Fall short to Your glory each day
It was never boring in Your presence.

But Lord, here we are with our empty plans,
Still asking for Your undying grace..
You were never upset over us
But You interceded instead.

It was like Your uttered prayer in the Gethsemane,
You’ve proved Your power to heal,
You were so confident w/ Your might to save,
And yes, I will believe over and over again.

We have so much to offer
And we’re no longer counting stars each night,
But each day to rise again,
We’re counting on You.

So Lord, let Your will overcome our fears
For this world we never hold,
For even this time we choose to lose grip
We are one in You.. and so be with us.
1. Jesus Prayed Three Times in Gethsemane

Matthew 26:36-46

36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.”37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Jesus also came to the point of sorrow and that time was also the time when he actually needs comfort and support from his disciples by being with him. It’s not that he needs them but he wanted them to learn that in tough times, prayer becomes the most powerful weapon.

Reading this now makes me feel that Jesus is still interceding for us up to now. He can actually return now and rapture can actually take place these days for His children not to suffer. But God delays the rapture because He is seeing things higher than what we as human beings can actually perceive. God is actually saving the whole world — He is after saving our souls more than our mortal bodies.

Matthew 10:28

Do not be afraid of those who **** the body but cannot **** the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Yes, maybe the world is suffering too much. Not all can find time to worship God right now or see these things happening under the hands of God. There are people who need to work in order to survive each day but isn’t it still a blessing that we have the Lord until now and that we are confident that Jesus will be able to save us eternally.

We can see that in social media, there are too many news and even fake news to which at times, also put and trigger fear to others. But the great news is: Jesus is still here and still available to be called to. It is the greatest time to pray for the world and for the leaders who are above us.

2. Everything is Possible in God but We Are Still in the Waiting

39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

When Jesus was praying, I see him kneeling for us and asking Father God to heal the world now but we have to understand as children of God (because of Jesus Christ), that the will of God is not what we ask Him to be His will. We can pray hard right now but the answer is still up to God. We are just to blessed to be heard by our Lord because He sees us in our bent knees.

Jesus was also the reflection of the world nowadays — those believers of God who believes that the will of God shall happen and if it’s His will today, this too shall pass.

3. What Are We Doing? Are we Still Asleep?

40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.“Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

42 He went away a second time and prayed,“My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them,“Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners.46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

COVID-19 as what Pastor said earlier, isn’t as powerful as we think of it. We are not being selfish here when we knew that many lives were taken by it but disciples of Jesus, wake up! It is the hour, it is the time that we should cooperate more with the Lord. While the world is shaking and while many trembles, let us be more awake and alert for at times like this, we need to be stronger in faith.

Our flesh may be weak and we can actually be affected by the disease or be affected by the news and entertain anxiety and fear but take heart, the Lord has already overcome the world! Let us not fall from the temptation of the enemy that starts in our minds.

2 Corinthians 10:5

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

John 16:33

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

And even before this happened to us, we praise God that we have known Him before these things and He already revealed so much to us so that we’ll never rely on what the world says. Coz when we have the right foundation, we’ll never be easily shaken.

Matthew 10:27

What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.

THE LORD’S REBUKE

These past and recent days, the Lord rebuked me,

“Anong ginagawa mo, Anak?”

I was actually reminded as Jesus said this:

Luke 23:34

Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

And it was as if when Jesus looks at the world now, he is seeing what he is expecting to see but he still knows that there is hope unto us all. And that in this season, many will be saved.

It was a direct rebuke from God, checking things that we do. Do we really know what we are doing? Are we doing the right things? Are we already awake or are we still enjoying sleeping?

Every time I remember these prayers of Jesus and how he prayed for us, I was in an instant self-assessment. I also believe that we, disciples of Jesus hear much these days about the Lord. We will know it by how we truly spend our days these days. God allowed it to remove all the things that keep us busy for us to see what we truly treasure. Remember that God is God. He loves you; so trust Him — trust Him like before coz He is the same yesterday, today and forever! Be a blessing to your home and pray for the world!
Mar 16 · 296
I Hear You
Sy Lilang Mar 16
I hear You
As the morning rays kiss the window sills,
As I awake while my bed sheets
Are no longer on my skin.

I hear You
As the last drop of water runs in my ear,
Like anointing on my head  —
As a lamb waits for his master’s hands.

I hear You
As the birds keep chirping as they glide,
Some flies high while some stays on trees,
But both of them never worry what to eat.

I hear You
As the moon boasts its fullness
I was mesmerized by its glory,
And so he arise at night, no darkness is hidden.
Mar 16 · 386
Awaken
Sy Lilang Mar 16
03102020

There is no weakness in You —
Your Name is power and strength,
You are my light and confidence,
In this world that’s not tired to alter.

There is no impossible in You —
Your Name is shield and security,
I see prayers as strong weapon
In this world full of manmade adversaries.

There is no sorrow in You —
You are the joy in my heart,
The peace who calms my soul,
In this world full of clamors and anxieties.

There is no oppression in You —
You are the voice deep within me,
That bold conviction of saying “No!
To this world full of temptations and sins.

You will be forever praised,
The throne is still Yours and we’re simply here in just a glimpse,
In this borrowed golden times we don’t forget,
That it is You who keeps us alive and awaken still.
Mar 16 · 118
Best Version
Sy Lilang Mar 16
“You can’t be the best in everything
but you can be the best version of yourself.“
- SYL 2020
Mar 16 · 321
Whisper
Sy Lilang Mar 16
03152020

The world needs to shout to be heard..
At first we hear peace, contentment, success,
Joy, unity, encouragement and love.
But all together,
It’s no longer the sound of music.

No longer about our plain existence
But of greed, power, abuse, hatred or clamor.
But there’s always a greater Voice
Who keeps on knocking into our hearts
And that Voice needs to be heard.

In the silence of the world,
There’s a Voice who choose to speak life —
The Voice who weighs one’s soul,
The Voice who rebukes and confronts,
And The Voice who saves and forgives.

And You are most heard..
I hear You as You whisper,
Not like the other days
When day shifts find no break..
Not when I was relieved by doing well in life,
And not when happiness seems like a plunge of cola in my throat..

I hear You when I call on Your Name —
When I am on my knees shaking, begging for answers..
When I am rejoicing and in my excitement,
I choose to tell You first what’s written in my heart.

I hear You as I stop from crying
As I learn to surrender it all
To Your Name, Jesus who’s ever so powerful..
I hear You more as I wait for Your turn to speak
When I was so desperate with my crazy but true faith in You.

I hear You more and more
And it feels like there’s a fire within me,
Like the days of Abraham in the burning bush.
It feels like Your provision is already in my hands,
Like Elijah being fed by the angel when he felt he’s all alone.

It feels like having a new name and new beginning,
Like Jacob being Israel as You called him to be.
It feels like I am back to my confidence that there’s nothing to harm me,
Like Daniel witnessing the lions being tamed.

It feels like I am walking into deliverance,
Like Moses and the Israelites walking in the parted Red Sea.
It feels like everything the enemy has stolen will soon be restored,
Like Job’s restoration of life.

In this pace of life,
In this first to third months,
You’ve revealed and reminded us one thing:
That one of Your love language is to whisper —
You whisper coz You’re near; and so we’ve nothing to fear.

1 Kings 19:11-13
And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

John 10:3-6
To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus used this illustration, but they did not understand the things which He spoke to them.
Sy Lilang Jan 27
i
There are lives taken,
Also lives shaken;
There are lives missing,
Also lives mourning.
ii
We pay no penny
For the world to rush death;
But we’re humans with feelings
Gettin’ hurt, losing breath.
iii
There’re news that seems new
But looking back, they’re too old.
There’re fears that still haunt us back
There’re nightmares out of loss.
iv
There’re moments that we cry,
But there’re no tears in our eyes.
And moments when we shout,
But we become mute in disguise.
v
There’re those who laugh so hard,
With their peers sheltered in their eyes.
And there’re those who speak freedom
While having murmurs with white lies.
vi
When in pain, we’re like standing by:
We’re both in waiting and wanting —
Waiting for the rescue
That we ponder elsewhere to barter.
And wanting this unending pain to halt —
To simply leave our empty shells;
For we’ve fought hard enough.
vii
But in pain, we have known comfort
No firm faith to distort.
We’ve tasted deliverance from hard grips;
Surely there’s peace of mind in hardships.
viii
We’ve known love while viciously longing
For everything in whole, we consider as a calling.
We begin to surrender our broken pieces,
Prayers turning down tragedies into ashes.
ix
We begin —
Not to put emphasis on our weaknesses,
But rather mention the Name
Who has called us into complete holiness.
x
If of all of these was sudden,
If of all of these has agenda to make,
If of all of these are part of the whole,
Then it has a name to be unfold.
xi
And if all of these has a name —
Then this must be the sound of the breaking
But in the breaking, there is unity;
And there is Jesus, knocking unto our entity.
#JPoetry
Sep 2019 · 308
Never the Same
Sy Lilang Sep 2019
I looked up to the mountains
And saw it was the same
When I expect it to move,
Wasn't it faith that made it stirred?

One day, I strolled again
And I was sad --
"For it's all the same,"
From the beginning of times
To the end of my eyes,
I keep asking myself,
"How long shall I wait?"

And then I heard a voice like thunder,
"Move again!"
But that voice became a whisper
As I yearn to listen for more.

So there, I ran over
I was searching for that small voice --
searching for its Source
Until I was caught off guard!
I was silenced
With how little things and even the simplest things
Have the greatest value
More than a lifetime!

As I opened my eyes,
It was a sea of clouds!
I have never seen this even once!
I was mesmerized with Its radiance
The black thick sky was gone --
And it's as if I was about to lose my sight,
"It's a Hidden Glory!"

Even in my heart, my reasoning was ceased
With a moment of silence,
I know it was that Voice --
That same Voice from the very beginning
It was Him who has brought me here.

Sometimes I worry too much
With how the mountains will move --
Even with the time of the falling of the leaves.
Should I tell it to move?
Should I tell the birds to stop chirping?
Or should I be the one
To move forward instead?

So here's the thing is:
A simple thing which will put everything aside
And will focus you to the Greatest upon the greats.
For while you seek to that Voice,
You'll learn to stick with grace
Which is out of this world
And it will just unfold to you.

Your heart shall be stilled
With why most of the times
You need not to actually understand everything --
You're never required to worry
You need to stop asking for answers
Even in the toughest circumstances.

But you are invited to rest in His love:
You are commanded to pursue!
You are enabled to walk!
You are anointed to speak!
You'll know when the time is right!
For the Spirit is there!
The Spirit is here!
The Spirit is your guide!

Who then shall bring down your walls?
Who shall stop you from declaring?
If you are commanded to prophesy.
God will light up even the darkest nights --
And yes, in that mountain; in those mountains,
You're gonna create an altar for God!
Coz every mountain is a mountain of God!
He shall deliver you!
He is now delivering you!!

It will never be the same for you --
Your life shall never be the same
As you'll have that Encounter.
I tell you --
There're truths that this world do not know
There're also things you thought as "truth"
But with that genuine heart and desperate cry,
You'll find out soon
What your soul is really searching for!
1 Kings 18:43-44
And he said to his servant, “Go up now, look toward the sea.” And he went up and looked and said, “There is nothing.” And he said, “Go again,” seven times. And at the seventh time he said, “Behold, a little cloud like a man's hand is rising from the sea.” And he said, “Go up, say to Ahab, ‘Prepare your chariot and go down, lest the rain stop you.’”

You are blessed not to see what’s ahead for you’ll surely be surprised by what God has prepared! You’ll trust more while you worry less — there is something even in one’s nothingness! Coz when God says “there is something,” He means He has enabled you! He has prepared everything and all you have to do is walk through it, experience and enter His rest and joy. To take God’s voice into your heart. Listen while he tells you something for the first time until the seventh or the hundred times. It’s for your own good! You will see it and God will make sure to you: He will see you through! Our God always win!
Aug 2019 · 253
Pour Like Rain
Sy Lilang Aug 2019
In times like this
When the rain pours as I ponder,
My soul is stilled in Your lullabies.
You're too beautiful,
Your grace, ever sufficient.

I dream to cuddle in Your grace
And there Your Spirit dwells in me.
I ask no more blessing from You
But a simple plea to be at my side.

Your presence is my rescue,
I can put away everything except You.
You're my hope to last forever
Your mist of love, engraved in my soul.

I ask You not to leave me
And so hold me closer in Your mercy.
Jesus, Your Name is higher
My tears, like rain overflows
At the mention of Your Name.

You are Lord forever
And so the rest of this world You value so much.
Sometimes, I 'm forgetful of You
Sometimes, I lack trust in You
But You're faithful, Lord.

You are raised to life
You are my rest
You're my shield
There's no adornment in Your Name
Yet You're still the Most of the "world's most."

Today, I thank You God
Today, I praise You
Today, You keep me
Today, You see me as Your child.

Oh Lord, my cry is from the depths of my heart
I burst in longing for You
And then, hold me again
In the palm of Your hands
I shall rest assured.

Thank You Jesus,
I remember You
Keep me, Lord
As I hold on to my faith in You.
Aug 2019 · 266
Forgotten
Sy Lilang Aug 2019
I regret of completing myself -
I got broken on so many things
And I tried stitching my own scars.

Many times, I found myself lingering on what has gone
Pages truly have turned against us
But I never gave up, I've lost
Even my own grip towards my destination.

Another came in when my door was about to shut,
I thought it's good or maybe it's my way out
But later on, as I ponder alone
And away from every detail I even tried to adore,
I then regret it for the thousand times --
For I was competing towards myself
And I was tired.

It was tough stirring in this life
Trying to stitch every mess
Trying to lure my own loss
Trying to shape my hope.

It was a graveyard here
While it was paradise on the other side,
I do hope I can be free
I do hope hurt will come to last.

Days have come
And even ashes dried up
There's not even a second I count not
Everything will lapse,
Everything in their own momentum
When no one knows,
No one has ever depicted the future.

And so here I am under this so old, old tree
Wishing for the last leaf to not fall
Praying one day, the paradise I'll see --
I'll never mess another life
And when I'll wake up again,
There will be beautiful things.
There will be hope, there will be joy
I am alive, I am set free.
Apr 2019 · 324
Declare
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
I call upon those who thirst,
Let’s drink to the Well
And ask for His rain
Not to simply shower a blessing
But to pour out His Spirit
Until all flesh recalls the Name above all names —
The Name of Jesus!

I call upon those who struggle
Though you feel misfortunes,
I tell you — we all have a journey to take
We have seasons but we need not to stay
Don’t stay where you are
But let God as you pray —
Let God awake your soul
Let Him Be in His throne
For the Lord gives, but He also takes away
Don’t wonder why but trust even if you don’t understand
Let us stand as we lift His Name!

For Jesus, You are higher than our situations
Higher than our mountains
We are Yours and You are ours
In our lives, we bring You glory
In the season when we’re dry,
When it’s tough
When it seems there’s no way
Where there’s impossibilities —
But You are God!
Yes You are God and You will make a way!

We call upon the Heavens
Your Spirit is in us!
There’s no battle we cannot be victorious!
No pain we cannot be delivered!
You are God!
So Lord, take over!
Apr 2019 · 299
Glorious Stars
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
042519

I look up the sky tonight
And it seems I'm counting the endless nights
Above, You bestow the stars
To which my heart,
In remembrance, defines Your promises
which were never hidden by the clouds.

I saw the roaring and beating of
Every star that represents
Every person, every generation,
Every soul w/ endless tears
Yet has never been forgotten by Your grace.

I see myself sparkling in the sky
And You set hope in my heart
And that one day, all of those stars will unite --
Unite as one as they bring You more glory
You -- You're forever glorified!
Apr 2019 · 391
Rest
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
Your love is so patient
Your love is eternal
Your love is mercy upon me
Covers me by Your blood.

My strength is failing
Your presence is all I need
You're my salvation, my Security
You keep my heart still.

So here I am,
Embrace me Lord.
I surrender now,
In Your love, I rest assured.
Apr 2019 · 357
Out of Nothing
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
You found beauty in ashes
Out of nothing, You create
Dust no longer is lifeless
In Your breath is existence.

You're the Potter, I'm the clay
Mold me, life You declare.

Heaven is in Your presence
Death steals but You save
With all the love, You create
Rescued us, grant us as heirs --
We are Yours forever.
Apr 2019 · 217
Just Surrender
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
11:45 AM
#042019

I enter into Your presence
Oh let me into Your glory
You're full of wonders and freedom
Victory is in Your Name!

I know You won't stumble me
You've answered me even before I call
You heard my heart as I cry out
Your comfort is my strength and joy.

In every season, I will praise You
You're ever there, I will lift You higher.
Sy Lilang Apr 2019
041719

Everyday it costs me "strength" to see a movie,
But it's much more a reality than an epic fantasy,
I call it "season" as the sun rises:
Birds chirping as an act of worship --
Even nature hymns for your might and glory!
Then, I'll be home -- beat my body
At the end breaking of the dawn.

You set fire like a burning furnace
Sprinkling every thirsty soul
And in Your pages is undying Truth,
Life for those who trust,
Lamp unto every feet, no lost cannot be found --
You're the hope for those who lose heart
And they'll take a stand, as they gain courage in the Cross,
Power is in Your might.

Past is less than a heartbeat
In the sound of the trumpet which awaits
And one day or two, there'll be no boasting of minutes.

You're such a good, good spoiler after all!
You're all-knowing yet all Truths,
You offered to us at hand
What a gift to this generation!

You speak no play, no deception
So real as how the skies depict its beauty -- never lies.
And one day, it is "gain" at the blink of an eye.
It is joy to enter Your rest
No more tears, no more fantasies
As how the movie rolls --
Just You and the Heavens and all praise is Yours!
This is a movie and it's coming soon!
Jesus is coming soon!
Feb 2019 · 287
Manna Like Rain
Sy Lilang Feb 2019
God’s provision is a manna to keep,
A manna to embrace,
A manna to enjoy.

Under the heavens, one can burst with complain
When he knows not the worth
Of even a single drop pouring like rain.
While the other rejoice —
Dancing in the moonlight, in the fiercest milky way
For his prayers have been answered,
His tears, he knows are worth to keep in a bottle.

One can roar like a lion in desperation:
And so he starves but neither he was killed by others’ bow
Nor the strong cravings in his belly
But by grumbling with his poisonous words
Like wearing a snake as a scarf on his neck.

One can ask for more which are outside of his reach,
But there is one who before he asks,
has already greatly received.
His grips are not on his pocket,
Not even on the purses which were secondhand,
But it’s a grip of one who is courageous enough —
The one whose arrows are not trade to the west,
Nor his shield echoes while in defense of his keeps.
The one who knows whom he truly trust:
A trademark of a mighty warrior,
Never peeling in deceit.

Two eyes can be set on the same red sparrow
But in the goodbye of the mist,
Truth is still truth, there’ll be no hidden things.
One eye blurs into the abyss of fire
While the other is embraced with the kiss of the heavens.

We can choose to be one who is choked by his words —
The one whose sword is in his golden chest,
Never knowing the bleeding of his heart,
The one whose spirit is mourning alive.

But rather be the one who is recipient of grace,
Melody is the Sun, shone in his face
The one whose greatest weapon is the decree of his heart
He thirsts of instructions,
Knowing the throne isn’t his.
He dwells in the court of corrections, disowning his pride —
So be the one whose trust is never in his might.
Numbers 11:17-20
And I will come down and talk with you there. And I will take some of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them, and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you may not bear it yourself alone. And say to the people, Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow, and you shall eat meat, for you have wept in the hearing of the Lord, saying, “Who will give us meat to eat? For it was better for us in Egypt.” Therefore the Lord will give you meat, and you shall eat. You shall not eat just one day, or two days, or five days, or ten days, or twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out at your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you, because you have rejected the Lord who is among you and have wept before him, saying, “Why did we come out of Egypt?”’”
Oct 2018 · 316
Deactivation
Sy Lilang Oct 2018
The absence of work deactivates faith.
- SYL
Sep 2018 · 3.9k
Buhos
Sy Lilang Sep 2018
Nagtago ang mga parilya sa kalupaan
Habang sila'y kusang nagpahimlay sa pagsisilbing lakas t tuntungan
Siguro, naisip din nilang ayos lang mapasailalim
Kung ito nama'y marangal at bubuo sa bukas at ngayon.

Habang sila'y sama-samang ipinagbibigkis
Ay mas lalo silang nakatatamo ng sugat mula sa isa't isa
Hindi nila ininda ang dumi o kahit na ang agos
Na posibleng yumurak sa kanilang mga pagkatao.

Sa aking pagtingala mula sa pagkasisid sa kalaliman ng kanilang mga adhikain
Ay nasasaksihan ko ang pag-usad ng mas matitibay pang haligi
Na dito sa ating baya'y may iilan ding tunay na tatayo
At nanaising maging tuntungan ng iba para sa higit na pagsulyap sa araw
Sila'y kapit-bisig sa pag-aalay ng dugo't pawis
Para sa ikuunlad ng kabuuan.

At unti-unting mahuhulog na tila nagkakalansingang mga barya
Ang mga may buo ang loob.
At sa pagbibilang ko ng mga araw ay walang pakundangan silang magiging isa
At malilimot na rin ng iilan na minsan, sila'y may pagkakaiba --
Na minsan, sila'y pinulot at hinugasan
At ngayon sila'y nagbago mula sa pagiging kupas na larawan.
Sep 2018 · 36.9k
#BAYANiJuan
Sy Lilang Sep 2018
Bayani --
Sa tuwing nagtatapo ang aking kanang kamay at ang aking dibdib
Doon ko mas naisasaisip at naisasapuso ang pagiging isang Pilipino
Na hindi ako isang banyagang titirik sa malaparaisong lupain
At panandaliang mabibihagni sa mga likas na yaman
O mismong sa mga modernong Maria Clara
O mga aktibisang nagmistulang mga bayani
Sa kanilang walang pag-imbot
Sa pagsulong nang may paninindigan
Sa kani-kanilang ideolohiya.

Sa araw-araw kong pagbibilad sa araw
At pagharap sa bawat pagsubok na minsang nakapapatid at nakapagpapatalisod,
Ni minsa'y hindi ko pinangarap na gawaran ng mga salitang "bayani."

Dito sa aking Bayang, "Perlas ng Silanganan,"
Ako'y nahubog maging sanay at buo ang loob
Hindi ng mga kahapong idinaan na sa hukay
At nagsilbing bihag ng kasaysayan at rebolusyon,
Bagkus ng sariling karanasang
Nagbukas sa aking ulirat
Na may iba pa palang pintuan patungo sa kahapon.
At pupwede ko palang matuklasan
Na hindi lamang sa mga nag-alay ng buhay sa sariling bayan
Maihahambing ang katuturan ng mahiwagang salita.

Paano nga ba na sa bawat pagsilang ng araw at pagbukod ng mga ulap sa kanya
Ay maituturing ko ang sarili bilang isang bayani?
Nagigising ako na pinamumunuan hindi lamang ng isang pangulo
Kundi ng mga katauhan na siya ring nagbibigay kabuluhan sa pagrespeto ko sa aking sarili
At sa tuwing nag-aalay ako ng mga hakbang at padyak sa pampublikong mga lugar
Ay nahahaluan ang aking pagkatao ng mga abo ng mga nagtapos na sa serbisyo
At tila ba sa kaloob-looban ko ay may sumisigaw na hindi ko alam kung ano
At sumisira sa mga pintuang minsan ko nang sinubukang sipain
Ngunit hindi naman ako pinagbuksan.

Masasabi kong natuto akong hindi sumuko sa laban ng aking buhay
Pagkat ako rin pala'y may pinaglalaban
Hindi ko ninais na maging talunan sa bawat paglisan ng araw sa kabundukang minsan ko na ring inakyat at pinagmasdan
Akala ko hanggang doon na lamang ako
Na ang buhay ko'y hindi isang nobelang magiging mukha sa salapi
At pagkakaguluhan saan man sila magdako
Ngunit minsa'y limot na ang halaga.

Dito sa aking istorya'y hindi ko maipagmamalaking ako ay isang bayani --
Ngunit sa kabila ng paglaganap ng demokrasya
Ay nais ko pa ring makasalamuha ang kahigpitan ng hustiya
Nang sa gayo'y masilaya't malasap ko ring mahalaga pa rin sa lahat
Ang pagbuwis ng mga buhay --
Silang mga pinagbunyi o silang nilimot ng sarili nilang mga kababayan.

Gusto kong manatili bilang isang Pilipinong may dangal sa aking pagkatao
Na ako'y titingala hindi dahil ako'y nagmamataas
Bagkus sagisag at bunga ito ng paghilom sa akin ng may Likha
At isang grasya ang buhay na hindi ko nanaising itapon sa wala.

Hindi ako magbibigay-pugay sa watawat na walang kamuang-muang
Na ang aking laban ay tapos na.
Hindi ako magpapadaig sa lipunang maaaring bumagsak sa kahit anong pagkakataon
Kapag ito'y nakalimot sa Ngalang higit na tanyag sa kanya.
At kung ito ang magiging dahilan para ako'y maliko sa ibang ideolohiya'y
Lilisanin ko na lamang ang aking pagkatao --
Ngunit ako'y madiing magpapatuloy sa aking lakaring higit pa sa pagka-Pilipino
Kahit na ang mga tungkuling nasa harap ko'y hindi pa lubos na malinaw
Pero pangako --
Hindi ako titigil.

Oo, pupuwede akong magsimula sa wala
Pero ako ay may mararating
At marahil bukas o sa makalawa,
Kung tayo lamang ay magpapatuloy sa pakikibaka para sa ating mga paniniwala'y
Magiging higit pa tayo sa mga bayani.
At hindi mahalaga kung tayo'y limutin ng bukas
Gaya ng paghawi ng masidhing hangin sa mga ulap na emosyonal.

Ayos lang --
Pagkat sa likod ng mga kurtina nang walang humpay na palakpakan
Ay naroon ang tunay na mga bayani
Na hindi sigaw at mga pagbubunyi ang mithiin.
Hindi ginto’t mga pilak ang maibubulsa sa kamatayan
Bagkus ang makapaglingkod sa bayan na may bukal na puso't malinis na konsensya
At kalakip nito ang higit pa sa mga pamanang medalya ng kasaysayan.

Sa muling pagkikita, salubong ng ating mga ninuno
Ay mabubuksan ang ating pagkatao sa isang paraisong patay na ang kabayanihan.
Doon, sama-sama nating lilisanin ang ganid na administrasyon
At hihipuin ang galit ng lambing ng Liwanag na higit pa sa milyong mga lampara
At doon lamang natin lubos na maaakap ang pagiging isang "bayani."
Jul 2018 · 1.3k
A Cry for Help
Sy Lilang Jul 2018
I thought surrender is that easy —
Like the flowing river
So natural to begin with itself
And last in its bestowed
Eternity.

I hope to ponder for another time
Like shifting the clock
And be wise as the future foretells
That I could ever throw a line to the Captain of the sky
As I whisper by my tears
So He could catch me in the middle of longingness and satisfaction.

Maybe this time,
I could truly call for hope
And receive what I’ve uttered
In every prophetic seasons
When I was relieved with assurance
That there’s a prerequisite to “help.”

And so later in these milli-seconds counting
One palm could rest to another
As if raising a voice but always in silence.

Maybe I could always yearn for more
And even learn for more
Urge no more towards the death of a dream
And start to glide
Like a kite without wings.
My re-writing this piece:

PREREQUISITE TO HELP
i
I thought surrender is that easy —
Like a flowing river
So natural to begin with itself
And last in its bestowed
Eternity.
ii
I hope to ponder for another time
In another space
Like shifting the clock,
Switching personas
Or even by holding the time in its deepest sleep.
iii
I still have left myself in the picture
Of being wise as the future foretells
That I could ever throw a line to the Captain of the sky
As I whisper by my tears
So He could catch and match my need
In the midst of “I can” and “I can’t”
In the midst of hope and loss
And in the midst of cost and cause.
iii
Maybe I could still yearn for more
To even learn for more,
And urge no more towards the death of a dream
And start to glide
Like a kite without fallen wings.
iv
Maybe this time,
I could truly dwell in hope
And tear down every wall that cost nothing
In building and finishing a cause
That even matters more than naked eyes.
v
And so when I receive what I’ve uttered in spiritual realm
In every prophetic seasons —
Where I was relieved with assurance
That there’s a prerequisite to “help.”
vi
And so later in these milli-seconds of counting of time
Everything is dealt in not-so-hidden reason
Of the returning of a Son.
One palm could finally rest to another
As if raising a voice, always in silence
But in time —
Will truly fulfill what’s written in no schemes.
Sy Lilang Jul 2018
070518

I heard the Thunder's wrath
But I was so assured that I can breathe
In His awakening breath called "life,"
While the waves urge to lie,
To distort or tear down one's walls
Dark turns darker,
In his flesh, he alone calls.

There're colors over the street
And they seemed embarassed when the Lighting came
His eyes on fire, some have never adorned
Their strength, by their might
A cloth and shelter of their own.

Those colors depict hope, One's full revelation
Scattered unto nations but some denied, left behind
And by their feet, they've trampled it down
And have let no fear in Him
Dwell unto their hearts; instead boast on their crowns.

So again, those colors unfold a promise --
A promise of reliance when we're about to be drown in the sea,
A crowning glory full of assurance and confidence
That we shall arise as One Nation
And the waiting will be over.

When before, we started to call
He has never left no one hanging on a tree
While such faces were getting too close
And its too much --
To much to bear that the freedom they boast
Is no longer in Truth,
And they laugh while drinking
Into their own bloods
Sealed with their own names
That they rather put colors
In variance and forget that its a loss of purpose.

Words were floating upon them
But they yearn for pride
For their very own indulgment
Turned to be their ways and it has become "final" to them
That they're ever free to choose and do.

Why is it when we speak the Truth
People scatter and grumble
As their faith, in distort
In lost of confusion.
If grace then was a lottery
Then there'll be no salvation
But indeed it was free,
So why don't one grab it
And embrace redemption.

Yes, we can love but be still in His grace
Coz hope isnt to perish for the ones who call for it
Never dethroning the One who first spoken
So please, do things not because of wants and for earning.

I would love it when the Sun comes down now
But grace is the period and we call it "now"
So friends to whom we love
Do seek righteousness and grip on it in tight
Coz when latter day comes,
One will perish while one is left behind.

If we seek for the Truth
Truly, let the heart endures
Let revival take the sword and fight for its cause.
No more crying for the ones you wished there's more
So now, never lack
Even a moment to re-call.
Apr 2018 · 594
Only If
Sy Lilang Apr 2018
.

If the Words I hear aren't from You,
Never let me go.
If it is not for Your glory that I do what I do,
Let me stop from here
For me to take a stand for what I truly believe.

If Your Spirit no longer dwell in me,
Will You satisfy me with Your anointing
As I leave my past behind
And enter Your mercy and be in Your Heaven's place.

If it is not by Your wisdom that I understand things,
Let me not be deceived by the schemes of this world
That I may not trample down every word that You say
And as You speak, it shall be my breath of Life.

If it is not by Your army who rise up for my protection
Where shall I find comfort?
Or to whom say, "My God is my Defender."

If power is given to me
Yet I found You no longer reigning in me
Take away my eyes that makes my flesh live in filthiness
That honor and glory be bestowed in Your throne.

I call to You
And for the rest of my Life
Let Me call to You --
Alone and sweet Your Words shall be
I will not be deaf
Let me not be in silence
Let Your Words speak
This is my call for today.
1 Samuel 26:8-12
Then Abishai said to David, “God has given your enemy into your hand this day. Now please let me pin him to the earth with one stroke of the spear, and I will not strike him twice.” But David said to Abishai, “Do not destroy him, for who can put out his hand against the Lord's anointed and be guiltless?” And David said, “As the Lord lives, the Lord will strike him, or his day will come to die, or he will go down into battle and perish. The Lord forbid that I should put out my hand against the Lord's anointed. But take now the spear that is at his head and the jar of water, and let us go.” So David took the spear and the jar of water from Saul's head, and they went away. No man saw it or knew it, nor did any awake, for they were all asleep, because a deep sleep from the Lord had fallen upon them
Apr 2018 · 1.1k
I was There
Sy Lilang Apr 2018
Sometimes, I see your heavy burdens
In your arms, you carry every debris of anticipation
Your anxieties of the world
Your disappointments and failures
And apologies, never received with forgiveness.

Sometimes, I see your hunger and thirst
That leads you to comparison with others
Why you lack and feel all deficiencies
And all over your face, there’s tiny and big regrets
That you hoped you did your best.

Sometimes, you act on your childish way
Your words say you’re okay and you are able
But in your deepest core, I hear you shouting in tears
For all those times, you thought that I don’t even care.

Sometimes, your strength is not enough
You wear masks and declares you’re good enough
But your muscles are about to collapse
With the lapses and faults you thought
You could easily endure.

I was there all the time —
Even the moments you’re not still
You stand too tall that you never looked back.
I was there —
When you soar so high and you made a call to others
And then you ask for comfort
But in them, you received persecutions and judgment.

One night, you felt so exhausted
And you never knew that I was there
As I caught you sleeping at the table
And so I carried you in My arms
And you murmured in tears
As I showed up in your dreams.

You felt so closed to me that day
And there, you have received rest
As you acknowledge me and choose to listen to Me
And finally, I heard from you
The most wonderful word,
“Father,” you were in tears
“It was different this time,”
You added and even declared,
“You are my confidence.”

Never will I fail you even in your loss
Never will my love grows an inch away from you
Though you run miles away
I will see you through
You will make it —
And I will be your strength
I will do it
So rest and lean on me
Rest in my finish work —
It is finished.
Apr 2018 · 473
Mountain Climbing Faith
Sy Lilang Apr 2018
“On the mountain of the Lord, it will be provided.” - Genesis 22:14

If life is a journey, would you waste a lifetime?
Sometimes you wonder
Why the journey is much more harder than the test itself
But instead of chaining yourself into doubts,
A voice says, “Your free in My arms.”

If life is reliance in Truth, would you trust your own?
And if progress is instant, would you value the process?
Or rather easily change your mind and say,
“This is not what I prayed for.”
i
When wisdom comes, it’s never by your own
When you grasp for strength but fails to hold on.
Even in your might, hope is still tight
But mercy comes in a white and silky cloak
Where there’s tears in Sky’s eyes.

Sometimes, you need not to ask God to move the mountains for you;
But ask yourself, “Am I seeking righteousness in God
Or simply zip into pockets the whole Truth?”

Ask God for strength to intervene your weaknesse
Ask God’s wisdom to overpower your understanding
Ask God to do the only thing He can do
And there, you'll remember God’s promises to You.
Sy Lilang Apr 2018
It doesn’t matter —
What other people can do,
What the world may offer,
And what the enemy can give as a deception.

Things we can count by hands doesn’t count  as remainders
But learning to surrender what we grasp and hold on for so long,
It does matter to God —
A beautiful exchange!

More than gifts and possessions,
More than our very own expectations
More than talents we ought to secure,
More than the strength that capable us
To move mountains and to climb another one —
At the midst of every desperation,
Still, the Giver Himself
He’s the One thing to remain.

At times we found a man not secured
Beneath the mirrors ever breaking in his facade
We see tears splintered into ashes and gray
He has no hope and his hands lack strength —
And so as we’ve sought, we are that man in the mirror.

On the other side of the vast galaxy
We saw the greatest picture the world has ever boast
And where every crippled feet and raised hands land,
There’s that Man who made His body a bread
And there, we drink as His body was raised.
Apr 2018 · 509
To the Homeless Home
Sy Lilang Apr 2018
It was as fast as the northern leaves falling
Along the winter breeze
The window was on high altitude
And I can smell the crisp of the coffee bean.

It was another strange coffee break
At first I thought the clouds hindered me
From seeing you
But they're so soft and smooth to touch --
Touched by the very eyes of fierced look.

I saw green pastures everywhere
As if it has never experienced any famine
As if the clouds are always present
To boast out their shades
And there I knew, that we're almost there.

There was no drops that lingered on the waters
Like debris of ashes of the ones who first got their defaults
It was a loss to their existence
That they rathered ****** themselves
And there was loss of words
As they shuttered their doors and windows.

I foresee the upcoming thought
That this iron barrier shall set me free
From any fear that arisw from within
Whenever I think that I'm about to fall
But to sail was never a choice to be made
In these lateral movements that was never in shell
He that rescue the cry,
The hunger has died
And death itself was known to its end.

I felt my feet having wrinkles for waiting
And my ears heared murmurs of tiredness of being
My mouth was shut, never devoured by any words
Nor any mischiefs
For once I thought,
I was there
But I'm ready to leave for no second thought.
Mar 2018 · 633
I Began to Die
Sy Lilang Mar 2018
031518

I began to die
As the birds grant melody towards the vast galaxy
I began to learn that things like UFOs aren't real.

I began to die
The clouds shove regrets and stir out their spirit
Upon the loamy creatures called humankind
And the breath was in that degree
That there're no longer voices upon their psych.

I began to die
And chant in my dreams
As if my heart sought for visible schemes --
Those schemes full of hope
That my flesh was no longer in my bones.

I began to die
And shiver in my blanket because of disgrace
That this muddy-blood human being was an ash in the tray
But I'd rather not to --
That I may not turn joy into chocolates of grief.

I am dying --
I began dying to myself
And day by day, I keep on dying.
It's not simply because I choose to --
But because I'm meant for it.

To die in my own flesh
Regardless of the thousand veils I keep on wearing
Regardless of the fact that I am a human being,
But I'm not only a human being --
I am chosen
And I have a calling
And yes, it does matter.
Mar 2018 · 559
Never Be Moved
Sy Lilang Mar 2018
Psalms 30:6-7
As for me, I said in my prosperity,
“I shall never be moved.”
By your favor, O LORD,
you made my mountain stand strong;
you hid your face;
I was dismayed.)

———

Whose face is it that we long to see?
That every d(r)ied bones His healing comes.
Whose face is it for the sun to rise?
That He shines so bright even to our darkest sides.

In the midst of the dark, He strolls us out
Now whose words is it that our raging seas calm?
In the depths of the oceans, the thunder roars
But His rod becomes the correction of soul.

Whose words is it that we call the Breath of Life?
For we died for a moment and sins were torn.
From East to West, every transgression are gone
He says, “Behold, I am coming soon.”
Sy Lilang Mar 2018
Ilang buwan na ang lumipas
Nang gisingin ako ng agos  ng tubig sa dalampasigan
Puti ang buhangin
At kumakapit sa kayumanggi kong mga balat
Ang halik ng Haring Araw.

Laking-gulat ng lahat nang anurin ako
Ng napakalakas na hangin patungo sa Isla
At doon bumungad sa akin ang Pitong Karagatang
Mitsa ng aking pagbangon sa kasalukuyan.

Naghilamos ako sa maalat na tubig
At doo’y naging kakulay ko ang kanilang lahi
At inangkin nila ako
Gaya ng isang parte ng isang pamilya.

Bumukod ako sa pag-aakalang iba ako at iba sila
Hanggang sa ang ako ay para sa kanila pala
Nagbunga ang pagbuhos ng Langit ng kanyang kasiguraduhan
At doon ako'y hindi na isang dayuhan
At alipin ninuman.

Kinuha ko ang kurtina sa aking bintana
At tinapon ko sa aking likuran
Kasabay ng paniniwala kong babalik ang Araw
At ako'y muling aagusin ng napakalakas na alon kagaya noon
At sana --
Sana nga makabalik na ako
Sa aming tahana'y
Babalik na ako.
Mar 2018 · 1.9k
Pahiram
Sy Lilang Mar 2018
Kailan ba ako huling nagsulat?
Matagal na ata
Kinain na rin ba ako ng sistema?
O talagang walang salita
Para maihulma ang mga katagang
“Mahal Kita.”

Ilang beses bang Ikaw ang naging paksa?
O sadyang ako na lang hanggang sa huli
Ang gagawa ng panibago?

Pahiram —
Pahiram ako ng salita
Pahiram ako ng MGA salita
Pahiram —
Ayoko na lang manghiram

Pagkat ang pag-ibig
Ay di pwedeng pahiram.
Jan 2018 · 2.6k
Hindi Ka Lumipas
Sy Lilang Jan 2018
Hindi Ka lumipas —
Naalala ko noong nakaraang taon
Ilang araw buhat sa ngayong pagbibilang ko
Bago pa sumulyap ang mga pampakulay sa kalangitan
Para magtagisan sa pagbungad sa paunang ngayon.

Hindi Ka lumipas —
Halos itim na lamang ang kulay sa kalangitan
Na para bang ang pag-asa ay kinitil na ng sanlibutan
Na para bang ito’y nobelang pawang paghihintay na lamang
At nang subukang gapangin ng putik ang pangarap ngunit hindi —
Hindi Ka pa rin lumipas
At muli **** binigkas na Ikaw ang dahilan ng lahat
Na ang lahat ay walang kabuluhan
Kung ang Ikaw ay ibabaon sa limot at tatalikuran.

Hindi Ka lumipas —
Gaya ng mga butil ng luha sa aking mga mata
Na ang pagsusumamo ay tila araw-araw na pag-aakyat ng ligaw Sayo
Na maging ang umaga ay tila Simbang Gabi.

Hindi Ka lumipas —
Nang dungisan ng mundo ang mensaheng laan Mo
Ngunit sabi Mo’y tapos na ang lahat
Malambot pa sa bulak ang sumalo sa bawat pagkabagsak
Walang katulad ang Iyong mga yakap,
At heto ako — mas natutong sumandal sa nag-iisang Ikaw.

———

Hindi Ka lumipas —
Ilang beses **** hinayaang masaksihan ko ang pagsagwan nila sa agos
Ang paglipad sa ere na tanging Ikaw lamang  ang sumalo
Na para bang ito na ang huling mga katagang bibitiwan ko —
Ayoko na
Pero hindi —
Pagkat nagkakamali ang dilim sa paghasik ng kanyang sarili
Pagkat ang Liwanag ay panghabambuhay
At hindi tayo kakapusin sa oras
At hindi ito isang “sandali lang.”

Hindi Ka lumipas —
At ayokong palipasin ang kahit isang pintig ng sinasabi nilang “sandali lang naman”
Pagkat sa oras na ito’y hindi Ka lilipas —
At tanging ang pangalan Mo ang mangingibabaw
Sa susunod pang hihiranging mga araw
Kahit pa sabihin nilang nagbago na ang lahat.

Hindi Ka lilipas —
Kahit pa tabunan ng pangungutya ang Iyong kasulatan,
Tanging Ikaw ang magiging bukambibig.
Kahit pa hindi makakita ang mga bulag
Ay ipagdidiinan pa ring Ikaw ang magbubukas ng bawat paningin
At walang dilim na kayang sakupin ang Bayan Mo, Ama.

Hindi Ka lilipas —
At sa bawat pagtaas ng Bandila
Ay Ikaw ang mananatiling may tiyak na katuturan
Na ang mensahe Mo’y ipangangalandakan
Saanmang dako at sulok ng mga Islang hinati ngunit Iyong ipinag-isa.

Hindi Ka lilipas —
Tulad ng mga ulap tuwing ang ulan ay titila
Tulad ng tubig tuwing huhupa ang baha
Tulad ng ilaw at init ng kandilang inapula.

Hindi Ka lumilipas —
Gaya noon, hanggang sa huling hampas ng segundo sa huling pagyukod ng araw.
Maghari Ka —
Hanggang sa huling pagkurap na kasama Ka.
Sy Lilang Nov 2017
112017

Baka sabihin ****
Hindi na ako marunong magbilang
Kung magsisimula ako sa bente-singko —
Sa bente-singko kung saan sa lumipas na mga tao’y
Wala pa ang Ikaw at Ako
At marahil ang Ikaw at Ako ay pawang nasa piling pa ng iba.

Baka sabihin **** mahina ako sa numero
Kung gusto kong magsimula sa bente-singko
Kung saan alam kong ang una, pangalawa
At susunod pang pagbibilang ko’y
Tanda ng pagsalubong ko sa buhay na kasama ang Ikaw.

Pero teka, ayokong magmadali
Ayokong mag-aksaya ng bukas o makalawang
Nagtatago sa mga letra ng tula —
Pero salamat, hanggang sa susunod pang mga numero.

At oo, nagsimula na akong magbilang —
Magbilang nang walang katapusan
Parang pag-ibig,
Ikaw ang Pag-Ibig.
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