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1.1k · Nov 2022
If I Die Today
111822

If I die today, I don’t want a sorrowful service
I know it is quite inevitable and yet I want people
To learn not to lose hope or lose joy.

If there’re words that they will utter,
I pray it’s no longer for me but for those who are left —
Who are truly in need of comfort as living individuals.

Let them play a Worship Song
And remember the goodness of God
And His faithfulness that will endure forever!

For even death should not separate
Every relationship with Christ
But death should add fire to their faith.

I hope they will sing a song for the Lord
And no longer sing me some lullabies
For I would no longer hear them.

If I die today, I want to leave not an earthly legacy
But I want people to remember me
As a follower of Jesus who has finished her race.

If I die, I would no longer run
Coz I have stopped where God told me to stop
And let me see His face as He grants me a “Well, done” hug.

But today, I still breathe the air God has given the world.
Life is a gift and there’s no reason to waste it.
Let me appreciate life by serving my Master with all I have.

Today, I want to keep speaking life to others –
And I’d rather choose to empower them now
Than hearing them later with no ears to sense them.

I’d rather receive rejections today as I speak the truth
Than overhear their late acceptance
When I lie in the last home the world could give me.

Today, I want to move freely – led by the Holy Spirit.
I’d rather move now for the sake of God’s will
Rather than not being able to move anymore
Because my timeline has passed its season.

I know God has planted so many dreams within me.
I know I can do more in this world and I can achieve more.
But I want to learn how to achieve the things
That my flesh cannot attain.

I want to give a smile,
Not to those who may laugh at me when I am at my worst.
But I want to focus on my Only Audience
Who is the Ultimate Judge of my life.

I knew I am inconsistent in so many things
And I have failed my God so many times.
But if He exposed me today, then it is for my good.
I may not understand why and how
But I am sure that my God doesn’t lie.

He knows I am tired of the pressures life pours on me.
I may find myself drowning in the worries of this world
But these things are only temporary.

I know someday, I no longer need to lie on my bed
To have the rest which I think I deserve.
And when the Day comes,
I will no longer sleep
And I can no longer distinguish Night and Day
For my eyes will only be fixed on the Apple of my eye.

It’s crazy pleasing the world
And running the way people do.
We are all tired but may we know
The rest our Saviour had freely given us.

We don’t need to toil the way we know how.
Coz this time, we will shift from “prison” to “reason.”
And there will be a huge elimination
Of the things that do not matter in eternal life.
And I pray we can distinguish it
Through discernment which is a gift from above.
1.1k · Aug 2021
Kabanata
083021

Lumilipas ang mga araw
Na tayo’y waring mga plumang
Nauubusan ng tinta.
At habang tumatagas
Ang huling patak sa ating mga timba’y
Ayaw pa rin nating magmadaling gumayak
At magpatangay sa mga sinag ng araw.

Sa unang mga paglisan ay nauubos pa ang ating mga luha
Ngunit sa mga sumusunod na kabanata’y
Tayo’y minamanhid ng tadhana.
Kasabay ng pag-usbong ng mga buhok na luma'y
Kumukupas ang mga larawang
Dati'y araw-araw na pinupunasan.

Ang bawat batiang noo'y nakatagas ang ngiti'y
Magiging pasalubong na may ibang palamuti.
Kaya naman ang hamon sa nalalabing panahon,
Ay ating sabayan ang agos
Habang ang lahat ay nakadilat pa.
Pag-ibig na laan at bihis sa ati'y
Maging kumikinang na diyamanteng
Sasalamin at aakap sa iba.
1.1k · Feb 2024
Ikaw Hanggang Dulo
021824

Ikaw ang Buhay, ang aking Hininga
Ang nagdudulot sa bawat pintig
Na noo’y nais nang mamahinga.

Ikaw ang Pangakong aking panghahawakan,
Ilalaan Sa’yo ang lahat
Nang walang hinihinging kapalit.

Ikaw ang Pagsinta
Sa gitna ng mga mapapait na nobela —
Nobelang akala ko’y syang bubuo sa’king pagkatao.

Ikaw ang Lunas sa bawat sakit,
Sa bawat hapding walang ibang makapagpapagaling…
Ikaw ang aking Kagalingan.

Sa libis at parang
Ako’y kusang hahakbang.
Na kahit ang dilim ay walang kapangyarihan.

Ikaw ang Aking Liwanag —
Akayin Mo ako hanggang sa huling hininga’t
Salubungin ako ng pag-ibig **** walang kapantay.
1.1k · Jul 2014
No Boundaries
A Covenant Maker
A Covenant Keeper
Yes, You are.

You have given me my portion
And told me my boundaries
My limitation, for the greater good.

You gave the promised land
It's now in my hands
And my heart is full of thanksgiving.

"What then do you want, my child?"
You asked me
* "Bless m, O Lord,"
I uttered with *
tears burning my soul.

"Give me springs of water,"
For I thirst for more of You
Allow me to embrace the vision
Of winning souls and making disciples
For Your greater glory.

I am limitless
I am a *life changer

A rebrander of old self
As I became Born Again
Both by water and in spirit.

You are the Way
The Truth and Life
My only way to the Father
To whom I love.

I ain't a claimant of Your land
For You gave it *generously

Overflowing in me
Named and entitled after me.

You extended my territory
To the forest of darkness
To which I should clear out
In order that Your Light
Shall go through
Entering the Paradise.

The wild animals are there
I found no one but darkness
But You trust me
That I'll fear no more
For every mouth with fangs and venom
You shut and give me some favours.

This land you gave is my portion
I shall treat it well
Learn by heart how to preserve it
And not destroy it's **inner beauty.
Joshua 15-16
See http://xirlleelang.wordpress.com/2014/07/09/devoshare-the-productivity-and-the-forest/
1.1k · Jun 2021
BGYO
Malalim na ang gabi
Habang sumisimangot ang alaala.
Ngunit magka ganoon ma’y
Kaya itong patahimikin
Ng pabulong na paghikbi
Ng ulang isinalin sa garapon.

Ang alat ng karagata’y
Syang sumalo sa mga binhing magagaspang.
At nagmistulang mga pamaypay ang mga alitaptap
Sa kanilang pagsalubong
Sa pira-pirasong bangkang nilamon ng dagat.

Ang kumot na walang hangganan
Ay nagsilbing maskara
Upang pansamantalang hilumin
Ang tinaboy at isinuka ng naglalagablab
Na hindi nakasusunog.

At ang apoy na taglay nito’y
Sya ring naging panghilamos
Ng pininta ng kidlat at kalangitan
Na syang sumuklob sa kanyang pamumuno.

Walang numerong mailimbag
Buhat sa sapilitang pagnanakaw
At pataksil na paglisan
Ng mga abong naging multo.

At doon naging pamatid-uhaw
Ang mga halik na ipinagtagpi-tagpi
Ng mga luhang maalat at walang direksyon.

Tila ito na ang pagmartsa
Ng kani-kanilang mga multo
Patungo sa libingang walang mga pangalan.
Silang mga walang mukha
At tanging abong ipinag-isa sa karagatan.
1.1k · Oct 2014
Empty
Feel empty and burdened?
Aren't empty hearts are God's specialty?
1.0k · Nov 2021
Mga Luha’t Libingan
Kung kaya lang nating saluhin ang bawat hinagpis,
Ang bawat sentimong
Tinutunaw ng humahagulgol na kalangitan.
At kung kaya lang natin syang sabayan
Sa mga gabing tinutukso na sya ng antok,
Tinutuklaw papalayo sa nais nyang direksyon.

Ngunit hindi sya magpapaubaya’t
Mananatili syang gising
Na parang naghihintay ng panibagong panimula —
Ng bagong punlang ihahasik at ihahabilin sa kanya
Ng tinuturing nyang “mahiwaga.”

At balang araw ay darating ang kanyang gantimpala,
Pagkat walang ibang naging saksi
Sa bawat butil na isinisilang
Na sya mismo ang nakikiramay.

At sa bawat burol
Ay nauubusan na rin sya ng dahilan
Sa kanyang pagtatago at pakikipaghabulan.
Pagkat sya na rin mismo ang nagiging libingan
Ngunit sya’y tatahan at maghahanap ng tahanan.

Patuloy ang kanyang panlilimos,
Patuloy ang kanyang pagkauhaw,
Ngunit patuloy din syang umaahon —
Yayakapin ang sarili’t tatahan.
1.0k · May 2014
Arise and Flourish!
"Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
    Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
    the Lord will be my light.
Because I have sinned against him,
    I will bear the Lord’s wrath,
until he pleads my case
    and upholds my cause.
He will bring me out into the light;
    I will see his righteousness."

- Micah 7:8-9 (NIV)

----------------------------------------------------------­--

------------------------------------------------------------
­
A question mark,
Never will I bestow;
For what I sow, I will reap.

And now, as the era of harvest is today,
I am ready.

------------------------------------------------------

I­ thirst, and taste a famine;
Bitterness has flavored my tongue,
I wanna whine,
“Why it isn’t sweet?”

I counted the years..
One, two, three –
In my very own language,
I got three.

--------------------------------------

I used to sleep unaided,
With lies as my pillow,
A chock-full darkness as my bedspread;
I thought I was alright,
For my psyche, my heart
They both agreed.

“Child, my child…”
A voice like roaring thunder,
Yet so sweet,
Calling my name.

A chariot of fire,
A blazing man in his black robe!
Terrified, my knees were wobbling.
Then, I realized..
That thing which I’m used to clinched,
All the time, the source of the twinge.

I felt a Hand above me…
A safe haven, yes, I’m in here!
The Light has blinded me,
But I wasn’t troubled at all,
For I know that the same blindness
Will lead me to the real Light.

I have never seen His face,
I may have died if I did try.
All I know is that He’s magnificent,
And powerful and loving…
A forgiving One.

I have this runny feeling in my hands,
I was full of blood,
But I’m not hurt at all.
Debris of glasses are on my feet,
I felt the stooping of my knees,
It’s as if something’s dragging me down.

I realized that I was to pick those up –
With the ****** stains, still in my hands.
I saw a big picture of me,
Facing my own being -- a ****** being.

There, I started to hear a small voice,
And wondered where it comes.
Black…
Now, all were black again.
I started to feel the same fear;
My lips are to shriek,
But it was zipped.

“My child, my child…”
Here He goes again,
“Lord, help me! Help me God!”
I bawled with my full muscles,
But the words were only bubbles.

“D’you hear me Lord? Where are you? Are you there?”
The darkness has wholly wrapped me,
Like a snake about to eat me slowly.

The poison has entered my body,
I was fighting my breath –
An exchange of inhale and exhale;
And I know I was about to die.

It hurts me so much –
The Lord has abandoned me,
He has forsaken me.

I was losing my grip on Him,
Even though I know,
Even before, I wasn’t grasping at all.

I found no tears,
But a blood from my eyes..
That made me realized something.

The voice has emerged again,
“Be still, my child…”
That moment, I want a hug from Him,
Unlike the first encountered we had,
To which I just let Him be away.
For the fullness of His love,
I have never recognized.

His blood has gave me hope –
That precious blood that brought me to life!
And that’s why I’m not hurting,
‘Coz he was actually the one who’s hurt.

“Lord, I am nothing... But why?
Why die for me? Why save me?”
Questions are about to burst,
But I was so silent,
not to speak a single one anymore.

I’m waiting for His reply –
I waited with tears in my eyes.
But I heard no word from Him,
Instead, He gave me a sweet embrace..

I fear no more..
“Lord, I love you so much…
I’m sorry, please forgive me…”
Tears were like rain,
it can’t be impeded right now.

---------------------------------------

The light has awaken me,
That light strikes my eyes but I was happy.
“It’s just a dream Lord...
But I know, that embrace was real.”
I smiled.

In the richness of the darkness itself,
People will look for Him.
It will be the moment they will seek Him,
With all their hearts out.

People will be forgiven,
Not because of what they've done,
But because of God’s grace alone.
They may not have felt His first love,
They may backslide a counted times,
But surely, they’ll return to Him
And find their way back home.

The Lord is my Savior,
Jesus Christ is my Redeemer alone.
For I know what to suffer now,
Is not for my own benefit alone,
But for the sake of the Message.

For I know how sinful I am,
And how I disappointed Him a lot of times,
But He has put me in the light,
And once again, I’ll thank Him –
And will never stop lauding His holy Name

(7/9/13 @xirlleelang)
1.0k · Jul 2016
To Love or Be Loved?
"I would rather choose to love than to be loved.
For I do know, I couldn't give what I do not have.
I love because He first loved me.
How amazing it is to be loved by Him."
- **XL
Thank You Jesus for unfailing and unconditional love <3
1.0k · Aug 2014
Defense and Offense
When Satan strikes you,
Strike him back with God's Word!
1.0k · Nov 2021
Palimos ng Patawad
110221

Bakit nga ba pilit nating sinusugatan ang ating mga kamay?
At hinahayaan nating ang ating dugo'y masayang
Sa pagluha nito, hanggang sa maubusan na rin tayo ng hininga.

Ikinukubli pa rin nating ang ating mga sarili
Sa garapon ng ating pagkataong
Kailanma'y walang ibang magbubukas ng sagradong pintuan
Kundi tayo't tayo pa rin naman.

At paulit-ulit tayong humihinga sa ilalim ng makakapal na ulap
At sabay na lalanghap ng umuusok na pangambang
Ibinalot sa apoy na lagim ang tanging ipinupunla
Sa ating mga pusong wala pa noong kamalay-malay.

Tinutukso tayo ng mga sitwasyon upang tayo'y magpaubaya
At magpa-anod na lamang sa mga kumunoy na hihila sa atin pababa.
Ang ating mga halakhakan noong kabataan
Ay mga pangarap na sabay na iginuhit sa buhanginan
Ay tuluyan nang binura ng dagat na tila walang pakiramdam.

Gustuhin man nating umahon nang sabay
Ay kailangan may isa sa ating unang bumitaw at unang umahon.
Hindi na nga natin kayang sumabay sa isa't isa
Ngunit sana'y ang nasa unahan,
Siya rin ang unang mag-abot ng kanyang kamay
Para sa isang nalulunod pa.

Napapagod ako ngunit matapang kong hinaharap
Ang mga pagkakataon bagamat wala akong kasiguraduhan.
At sana sa panahong panatag na ang mga pusong
Naligaw sa sariling mga pasya't pangarap
Ay masilayan nating muli ang pagtahan ng mga matang
Buong buhay na lumuluha't nanlilimos ng pagpapatawad.
1.0k · May 2020
Tula
052420

Ikaw --
Ang tula sa'king gabi,
Ang tulang 'di isantatabi.
(5/11/14 – 12:47 am/ Brownout)

I’m the li’l twinkling star
The nursery rhymes chant who I am
To where I’ve heard what their inklings are
And how they plainly wonder what I really am.

Today, I saw the multitudes of stars
Some shone, some have not
At this hour, some rage their trumpets
While others wear their Harry-inspired Invisible Cloaks.

I’ve watched them,
But they don’t grow fainter
They form constellations
Together, they bring out assorted emblems.

I asked, “Why am I alone?”
And “Why I can’t be joined with others?”
“Why I don’t need to conform?”

There were bags of issues
Emulating the others out there –
In the cosmic galaxy, the drudgery darkness
To where depth cannot be measured at all.

You faced me and told me
I was born for something
Maybe not for my delicate-reverie
But You moved me from where I am
To learn strength and endurance when I’m all alone.

I will then outshine, I will be known
My future tells me so
Not because of the light I’ll make
But because of what You’ve made me for.

There’s no one like You
For in my darkest hours, I still see You
Your glory has captured my thoughts.

You are the Moon in my eyes,
The only Moon that showed me
What it’s like to be in the light.

The dimness in me
Was brought out of me
And You then, are proof that Day exist.

The Great Sun will rise again
Oh, the Light, I can’t see it plainly
I’ll be blind if I’ll ever try looking at His rays
Yet, I know how marvellous He was
How perfect He was
For He is incomparable, beyond words.

You, my Moon, oh Jesus Christ
Because of You, I learned to value the dark
When I’m in it, I could view more of You –
Your fullness and how dark can’t ever obscure You.
You’ve also taught me the Half, the Crescent too
Then, glory by glory
I made known of You.

I will not fear
For even the clouds hinder us
I know, You’re still there;
I know I’ll see You again.

Even during the storms, You watch me
You bring light continually
You give hope to the universe
Speaking life wherever I go.

And just when I look at You
I know, that I, the li’l twinkling star
Will prolong my glistening
And You, on the other hand
Shall be reigning forever.

(5/12/14 @xirlleelang)
1.0k · Nov 2022
God's POV
052122

We are called God’s masterpiece –
We are His art in progress.
Each was an abstract of their kind
And only the Artist knows how to interpret it;
Only He knows what we are made of and made for.

When others see the beauty in us,
The credit is not ours but to our Artist.
He made us and He finds beauty in us.

Art is an expression
And God expressed Himself through us.
What kind of Artist is He?
Who made us out of His image.

How selfless is He?
And how loving is He?
No one can even take a glimpse
Of His mindful plans for us.

And so we are meant to create something new,
Something that our soul is passionate about,
Something that boosts our confidence in the Lord,
Something that brings us to the fulfillment of His purpose for us.

To express ourselves in various forms of art —
The art of love, forgiveness, redemption, salvation, and so on.
We indeed are God’s art
And as we continue to align ourselves with Him
That picture becomes clearer each day.
999 · Dec 2022
Walang Katapusang Liwanag
121622

Mga pangarap ay nasa alapaap pa,
Susungkitin gamit ang pagsisikap
Pag-asa at pananampalataya.

Minsan, hinahanap ko pa rin ang sarili —
Habang sa mga mata ng iba'y
Doon pa rin pala ako nananalamin.
At baka sa paligid ay naroon ang ligaya
Kahit alam ko namang
Isa lamang itong patibong.

May mga katauhang nagpapaalala saking
Gusto ko ring marating kung nasaan man sila.
O makihati man lang sa mga bituing
Nasa kamay na nila ngayon
Habang ako’y naghihintay pa rin
Sa sarili kong panahon.

Binabalot ng dilim ang aking puso
Bagamat ako’y lumalantad sa liwanag.
Naghihikahos at nangugusap
Ang damdaming namahay na sa parang.

Nakakapagod palang mangarap
Na tila ba ako’y pinaglipasan na ng panahon.
Tila ba wala nang tala para sa’kin.
Akala mo ‘yun na,
Kaya ibibigay mo ang lahat
Ngunit uuwi ka pa ring luhaan
Pagkat paulit-ulit ka na ring nasaktan.

Saan na nga ba ibabaling ang tingin?
Kung ang lahat ng pinto ay kusang sumasara…
Kung ang lahat ng balik ay pait at hagupit…
Kanino na nga ba magtitiwala pa?
Sa sarili ba o sa kanila?

Sa kabila ng bigat ng aking mundo'y
Nariyan pa rin ang Liwanag
Ni hindi Sya natitinag
Kahit ako mismo ang mang-iwan…

At kung ang Liwanay ay walang kapaguran,
Ay baka 'yun na rin ang dahilan
Kung bakit mas nararapat ko pa ring piliin
Ang pag-usad kahit pa nasasaktan.

At baka sa dulo ng Liwanag,
Ay naroon ang gantimpala
Na kahit ang mundong ito'y
Hindi makapagbibigay.
994 · Jun 2015
Rainbow
Isn't rainbow a reminder of God's covenant?
Why be blind? Why have to alter it?
Why have to manipulate the crowd
And let others be deceived?

I love God and I love people
I love the sinners as well,
But I hate the sin.

Disciples of Christ don't simply stand
We don't stand for ourselves
We aren't perfect, we are also sinners
But because of His blood,
We are saved by grace.

And a changed heart
Means the old has gone
And the new has come.

With all our transgressions,
With all of our issues,
Even those identity crisis we ever had,
We have been forgiven.

Christ, therefore, is more powerful than any crisis
We are redeemed,
We now don't live for ourselves
God's Word is alive and active
And it will accomplish the purpose
Why it was sent.

God is just, God loves us all
But our love for Him
Is shown through our obedience.

Now, Christians, rise.
989 · May 2016
I am Sorry
050516

I am nobody
For my existence doesn't matter,
Does it?

I am a rebel
I chose to neglect Your thoughts
But I was never in a cellar.

I am a sinner, aint a saint
Red, the color of my soul
Red, the color of resurrection.

I am unashamed
I used to hide in dark curtains
Twirling every tip,
Losing sight towards the Light.

My name, I forget
For now, **I am Sorry.
031222 #2:02AM

What if today’s my last day?
Then I would share about You
To every people I meet
And I would testify how You have saved me.

I would go to the people
You want to send me
And tell them what You wanna tell them
And I will be unashamed
As what You have called me to be.

What if it’s my last breath?
Then I would breathe singing how great You are
I would no longer beg You to save me
From what’s in this world
But I will entrust You, my soul.
I will let go and tell You
That I commit my spirit.

And if it’s my last poem to write
Then I would no longer utter my desires
But I will let You use my hands
To speak the truth
And how You wanted to save everyone
From the burning furnace of eternal fire
But to welcome them in Your Kingdom
Where there will no longer be tears
There will be no pain
And even death is gain
Because You are the anthem of our soul.

If saying goodbye today
Means my full surrender to You,
Then I would lay my burdens down
And entrust you my longing heart.

If to welcome You means
To destroy every stronghold that surrounds me
Then I would allow Your fire to consume me
And to check my heart in every test that You allow.

And if today I’m gonna see You,
Oh Lord, please accept my spirit
Accept me in Your Kingdom.

But now that I still have a breath of life,
Then allow me to align myself
In the movement and revolution
Of the pouring of Your Holy Spirit.

Let me speak even in the chains of my insecurities
And find myself secured in the realm of Your presence
Let Your holiness show me
That I am nothing without You.

Let me experience
How is it to become a vessel of Your goodness
And to ensure the pain that You allowed
To manifest Your power in my weakness
And make others witness
That You are the God who will save me.

And may I fight this battle
With full trust in You alone
And to believe that You will make a way
And You have the last Word,
You have the final say, oh Lord.

And You are not just Jesus,
You are my God, my Savior
And You are my Hope.
Thank You, Jesus Christ.
978 · May 2014
Perimeter’s Over
The woman is perfected
She wears the smile of accomplishment,
The illusion of a her Greek-necessity.

Flows in the scrolls of her toga,
Her bare feet seem to be saying,
“We have come so far,
Now it’s over.”

Each new-born being coiled,
Black auras, black all over
One at each little pitcher of milk,
Once empty,
They’re poured out
With enough knowledge
From where they were fitted.

She has folded it back
Into her body as petals
Of a rose close
Her desire, her dream
They’re all in hand!

When the garden stiffens and odors bleed
From the sweet, deep throats
Of the night flower
She’ll remain awake.

The stars shall utter her name
Staring from her hood of victory
She’s used to this sort of thing
But it’s the grandest as of now.

(3/21/14 @xirlleelang)
969 · Nov 2015
In Your Freedom
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You In my brokenness
And no other king could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

I have nothing more
Than all You offer me
There is nothing else
That's of worth to me

And I love You Lord You rescued me
You are all that I want You're all I need

I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You My cares released

In Your freedom I will live, In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion
969 · Jun 2014
Happy Three Friends
Their whiskers were transparent
Funny how I cut some
Fluffy their furs are
Oh those sleeping li'l ones.

Heat strokes each other
Not the negative one
Enduring the cold day
Pleading the sun to strike.

Eyes are stones
Luxuric, melted with every grip
Oh the cold breeze
Washin' their fears away
Mama would come darlings,
Stay put and let not the bugs bite.
968 · Jul 2014
Fairytales Do Exist
I hope to be not the antagonist
There're stories untold
But I want mine to have happy endings
Just like the old days
When I used to believe in fairy tales.

I am Cinderella
I should be home every midnight
My job was wearing me out
Can't even buy myself
A new pair of shoes
I used to walk miles for years
In order to attain education.

With my eyes that are blind
I wanna see the world
To enjoy life to the fullest
But they who call me Beast
Had entrapped me with absolute darkness
I was the only one left
A survivor of the great fire in our compound
I got my face burnt
And the world has shuttered from vision.

I am her Knight
Not in shining armour
I love her since we were in High School
But she who was my princess not know
And whenever I'm near her
I can't even utter words
To show my feelings out.

They told me I have a lot of potentials
My Mom encouraged me to dream big
For she herself once didn't own one
She asked me to do this and that
Wishing I could be successful someday
But she was murdered by Cancer
All she ever told me
May never come true
For now, I'm simply the Jeanie in the bottle.

I went to the Land of Free
And undergo enhancement several times
I took so much pills
I hold on to myself and became disciplined
In order to achieve this great body
But why do the society keeps on judging?
I know I was manly
I just wanna be happy
Can't they see
The Sleeping Beauty inside of me?

The world is indeed in the dark
All wanna believe in fairy tales
For they seek happiness alone
To not be judged but be loved
To be accepted and have the reason to live.

We don't know the stories behind those lies
Behind the misconception of true beauty
The game became Hide and Seek
Just like how the Dark urges to defeat the Light.

We aren't the masters of our lives
We are characters of different stories
Strangers in the pages of others' journeys
The great Author knows every timeline.

One thing I'm sure is:
There's always a happy ending for us
For it was already written
We just have to believe and trust
The One who wrote ours.
961 · Jul 2016
Hollow Block
071116 #8:28PM

No matter how fine my aggregates are,
I still feel incomplete.
I'm not that strong,
And alone, I'm easy to break.

You could feel my cracks and leave me to banishment,
But You showed me the other face of strength.
Never did I know that there were three hollows within me,
Until I experienced those cracks
that made me lose my own strength.

The hard rock was shuttered,
And many times, I felt so useless.
But there You are and picked me up,
You carried me and reshaped me into a new me.
With tools, I had never known,
You accompanied me to reach my uttermost  potential
And yes, I have known my purpose.

You filled my holes with who You are
As a three-in-one God
And now, I have acknowledged how vital it is
To allow your reinforcement
In order that I could stand still.

You're not just testing my resistance and foundation
But stretching me to the fullness of Your expertise.
You can unused me and break me if You wanted to
But You had Your goodness and grace extended
In order that I may live.

I know, I would be hurt
But I know I was found by You,
And I was made by You --
I was made for You
Seeing those hollow blocks in construction, they remind me of who I am and whose I am now, reinforced for the glory of God! I feel blessed.
949 · May 2020
Hulmahan
050220

Nagbibilang ako ng mga pahinang
Ni minsa’y hindi ko binura
Ni minsan, hindi ko binasura.
Hinuhulma ko pa rin ang aking mga kamay sa buwan
Na sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya’y
Sumasagi sa’king isip ang unang tulang
Binigkas ko sayo nang biglaan.

At habang pinagmamasdan ko ang aking mga palad,
Ay kumukunot maging ang aking mga kilay
Kasabay ng kumot sa gabi sa bawat paghikbi.
Hinulma pa rin ba ang mga palad para sa isa’t isa?
O ang minsang nagpahinga’y
Bawal na rin bang bumalik para magsimulang muli?

Nauutal ako —
Sa tuwing sinisigaw ko saking isip ang pangalan mo
Ang bawat letrang dahan-dahan kong sinusulat
Sa aking alaala, saksi ang pintig ng pusong may pangamba.

Nasisilaw ako —
Na sa bawat pagpikit ko’y
Tila suntok ka sa buwan kung makakamtan muli.
Nasisilaw ako —
Sa tuwing hinihiling kong pagbuksan
Ang puso **** kinakatok at niluluhod sa panalangin.
947 · Apr 2021
Walang Tugon
Magsusulat na naman ako
Gaya ng dati --
Nagsusulat na naman ako
Para sayo --
Nagbabakasakali.

Ilang beses kong nilimot
Na ikaw ang aking unang panalangin,
Na sa tuwing pinagmamasdan kita'y
Nalililimot ko ang 'yong pangalan
At wala akong ibang hangad
Kundi purihin Siya.

Na sa tuwing tayo'y ipinagtatagpo,
Ay naroon tayo sa presensya Nya.
Tila ba kahit naisin kong lumapit sayo'y
Tayo'y pinagigitnaan Nya
At wala tayong ibang dahilang pumarito
Kundi magpasakop sa Kanya.

Parang tayong mga ekstranghero
Sa mundo ng isa't isa.
Lilihis at lalayo,
Yan ang kusa kong pagsinta.

Siguro nga,
Hindi ako nakapaghintay
Pinangunahan kita..
At nakaraang taon di'y
Naging masaya ka na rin sa iba.

Nagsusulat ako --
Bilang aking pagtugon
Sa panalangin ko noong
Ikaw lang ang hihintayin,
Ang mamahalin.

At sabi ko pa nga sa'king sarili'y,
"Kung ikaw talaga,
Handa akong iwan lahat.."
Tila ba kaybigat ng aking panalangin
Ngunit kaygaan din kung para naman sa Kanya.

Sana malaman **** --
Minsan kang naging paksa sa'king mga tula,
Ako'y naghintay nang ilang taon
Ngunit siguro nga,
Nauna akong sumuko --
Pagkat hindi ka naman tumugon.

Hindi ako nakaramdam
Ng anumang galit o tampo
Nang minsan mo akong iwan sa ere,
Matapos **** magtapat ng pag-ibig.
Nautal din ako noong mga panahong iyon,
At tanging dasal ko'y,
"Kung hindi pa natin panaho'y,
Tanggalin na lang muna tayo sa isa't isa.."

Ni hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling
Ang lalim ng ganoong panalangin,
Ang lakas ng loob kong humiling
At tinugon naman iyon agad ng Langit.

Ngayon lang kita ulit napagmasdan,
Nahagip ang puso ko gaya ng dati..
Alam ko, wala ka naman sa lugar
Para muling magtanong sa'kin
Pagkat iba na ang himig
Ng sarili kong damdamin.

At kung sakali mang ikaw pa rin sa huli,
Hayaan **** ako'y maging tapat na sayo --
Pagkat sa bawat oras
Na ika'y sumasagi sa'king isipa'y,
Ramdam ko pa rin ang pagsambit mo
Nang "Ikaw na,"
Hanggang sa muli nating pagsinta.
944 · May 2020
Gamu-gamo
052120

Ito ang gabing
Ako mismo ang sisira sa pangako ko —
Sa pangako kong ililibing ko ang sandaling
Mistulang nabihag ang buo kong pagkatao
Natapos ang mga petsang hindi ko na mabilang pa.

Panaginip —
Ika-11 ng gabi, naggising akong muli
Nasilayan kita
Nasilayan ko syang humahakbang papalapit sayo
Natakot ako, siguro nga
Wala naman kasing nagbago.

Natatakot pa rin akong hindi tayo magtagpo
Sa aking paghihintay sayo.
Ni hindi ko maitali ang sarili sa pagsambit ko ng “oo.”
Siguro nga, nag-aabang pa rin ako gaya ng dati —
Siguro nga isa na lamang akong
Gamu-gamong alaala ng kahapon
Na sa paupos na kandila’y
Tuluyan na ring maglalaho.
942 · May 2014
Self Destruct
Guarded by my self destruction
I tend to fall apart
A hidden seed of imperfection
Lies deep within my heart.

Surrounded by my wants and needs
I know not where to turn
I follow while my conscience leads
But still I never learn.

A broken stranger, lost in time
Not knowing right from wrong
Caring too much, my only crime
I’ve called this love too long.

The words get harder everyday
It’s time for this to end
But I’ve loved too hard to hear you say
That I’m nothing but a friend.

(4/10/14 @xirlleelang)
942 · May 2017
How to Say Goodbye
0517

I saw you
And your head held high
But was never pride.

I heard you
And your words tore me down
But it was never a waste of time.

I closed my eyes
And I had my eyes open
I can never have you
So now, I disowned you.
112422

Brutal eyes,
Lament in the melody of hope.
Diverse imagery rolls on each soul
Defining the core of their music –
A genre that is one of a kind
With dustings of masculinity
Making a legacy for this generation.

Each voice has no nerves –
And they’re like a formless water
Searching for an everlasting container.
To showcase the exquisiteness of the Pearl,
The backbone of their glory.

At first, they find no one to understand them
Even branded with hostile names
But they never surrender their flags
And raised the Nations’ banner so high
Even if all their villains did belittle them.

Their chords were like no other –
Their skills, they never hype about
And yet both the moon and the stars
Collided for them
And now is their time!

Some say: maybe it was their destiny…
Maybe it’s just for a while.
But their passion and thirst for their craft are unrivaled –
Always exceeding their best
As if their competitor is their living mirror.

Today, even if the Sun has exposed their grandeur,
Their modesty becomes a plus factor.
The world is their stage,
While A’TIN is their steady sustenance.

They had sleepless nights before
But tenacity led them to so many doors.
Many clowns had backed down
And some even turned from villains
Into aficionados who call them their ‘masters.’

They were born to be a standard –
And they deserve mad respect from every Juan.
Coz they’re not just stars but kings of their kind,
World-class vanquishers that we all look up to!
And this is just the beginning
Of the unfolding to the world of their God-given stories!
935 · Mar 2016
Bonfire
032616

You're a charcoal in disguise
Sparks fly, electricity's dry.
Wind blows and melody swings,
Heartbeats rolling faster in grip.

Chewed sands, rough and dry
Pale like a race but not a frowning drama.
Steps were not heard in the audience so new,
Dripping pillows from the sky, a lantern not blue.

Sound's a cliche, reminiscing the view
Chants of mercy and grace; wild flowers were betrayed.
Fired the dark, invisible sky
The King has arise, victory is ours!
930 · Aug 2016
The Joy of Pain
081216

Saturday --
My 5.5 hours trip was full of intense prayer,
All the time, I tried to hold my heart.
It was thumping in minutes unknown,
For I have no words to tell you.

We faced each other
After months of changing routes.
And then, we uttered tears to Heaven.
I had a glimpse of you,
So you'll know it's really me
You're talking to.
But deep within,
I hide the tears
Of months of pain
So sweet as vain.

You drove me home,
With clueless words
With cheerful emotions.
You stayed,
For it wasn't a closure
But a second chance.

Sunday --
I know we heard the same preaching
Of forgiveness and pain.
Of experiences that cast out fear,
Of true love, more than earthly's paints.

I tried to search for you in the crowd
Just wondering if you're not gonna hang up.
I went home, without your goodbye.

Monday --
I felt the Spirit's conviction
And so I get my phone
I was praying that you answer
So that words will be bound home.

I found my words too straightforward,
Now we just have to let go.
To stop this crazy feeling,
For love was not yet home.

I passed by with memories
Of the past hurt and the new restoration.
I thank God in my heart.
But I was still hanging,
As I wait for your word.

All the time I've been waiting,
My feelings got confused
And I wanna hold on to us.
I became a beggar of love,
Though I beg Him to take this love.

I thought you were gonna fight for me,
But you let go so easily.
In a moment, I was in tears
And everything was shuttered in me.

I was crying all the time,
Praying that you'll stay.
My heart was a stone
But God held me so tight
And in the end, calmed my soul.

Tuesday --

I cried over and over again
I was in total shock of pain.
Drowning with regrets of letting go.
What was in my mind
That I did set you free?

I cried countless tears
I was torn into something's not me
But I found myself searching for answers...
Searching for Truth to set me free.

Wednesday --

I woke up in Heaven's rest
As if the pain was all gone.
As if it's all done.

The Lord has comforted me
The Lord became my refuge.
He took away the pain
And love me as who I am.

Days of mourning have ended
My soul dance with waves of blessings.
I am blessed to undergo pain
For grace and love have brought me home.

Thursday --

The Lord has granted me peace
He has destroyed every weapon
That I may live by His grace
And live life as He had lived.

I was born again
Again and again
And day by day,
He utters, "Rest, my child."

And so I sing a new song
To laud my Lord
With infinite praise.
925 · Sep 2016
Autumn & Spring (1 Peter 1)
090616

I have been grieved by numerous trials
My faith, You've tested by fire.
You revealed Yourself,
And I came to know You
More than Your Name.

I love you,
Though I have not seen you.
My belief was kept in my innermost self,
And You filled me w/ Your glory.

I was so ignorant, that was the former me.
"You shall be holy, for I am holy," You told me.
Make my heart pure, overflowed by Your love
To obey Your truth, for I have been born again.

As the grass withers; as the flowers fall;
Your Words remain in me.
"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever." - Isaiah 40:8 (NIV)

For, "All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, - 1 Peter 1:24 (NIV)
906 · Mar 2024
My Universe in Your Eyes
031724

As I look to the skies, I see the stars
Waving their light
In the vastness of their own universe.

In the mirror, I talk to myself —
“I see your scars and you’re messed up…
You’re tired and everything’s heavy.”

I tried to close my eyes
Where it’s just me and You —
You who always believed in me.

You say,
“I see your scars and yet I love you…
I know you’re tired but I have you.”

When I try to quit,
You say, “Quitting is not an option.”
Your love is enough; at the Cross, I surrender.

Who am I to be numb?
When Your love was the only hope I cling to…
Who am I not to love you back?
When Your love was the reason of my existence?
905 · Mar 2017
Believing in "Again"
032217

When was the last time the word "again"
Became a melody to your ear?
That whenever you say "again,"
There is power, there is greatness,
there is grace, there is mercy
and there is love.

When "again" brings life to your soul
And you are revived,
More than the air you ever breathed
More than the tears your eyes have ever shed.

You will find your rest
You will rest in miracles
You will see yourself: in Spirit and in Truth
You, doubting your doubts
You, believe your beliefs.

When sorrows turned to joy
When failure becomes not a loss
When pride falls short
When sin has no power
When death is unknown
And when life becomes your being.

When you believe you can cast out mountains
When there is no abyss of fear
When darkness has no room
And when light becomes your moon and sun
When there is Heaven in His arms.

You have a promise of hope
And in His Name, it is safe.
He has the promise to keep
And He's pleased to do "It" again
Coz "again" --
Believe, it's His thing
It's His thing to do "It" again.
(John 12:28
Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven: “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.”)
903 · Nov 2017
Love Has a Name
110417

Come awake my soul
Come awake in love
I call You justice in hopelessness
Strong tower in the midst of roaring oceans.

There’re sleepless children on the street
Lying lips in abandonment
Redemption seems to have no beauty
Purpose in debris in the cellar of doubt.

One thirst, one pangs of hunger
Freedom has no speech
Oh come unto the Nations
Bring healing to the City of bones.

Our landmark is Your territory
As You left Your throne but You’re never dethroned
Sin and death were left with no pride
No chains of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Death has no beauty until Your blood was shed
Birth has no meaning until You conquered the grave
You tore away the veil of sickness
Everything You restore
Like nothing was stolen.

Your power assures me I am free
There’s no condemnation, I am loved by You
Filled in You, I am found in Your Truth
Drowning in grace,
You’re my Living Proof.

You break the chains
As we confess Your Name
Now, victory has a Name
Love has a Name
Jesus is His Name!
899 · Nov 2021
Aisle
Lilisanin ko ang sarili
Madatnan lamang ang espasyo
Kung saan tayo’y magtatagpo’t magtatapat —
Magtatapat ng ating mga pangakong
Kailanma’y hindi nanaising mapako.

Ang bawat hakbang
Ay magsisilbing aking pagpupunla
Hindi lamang ng aking wagas na pag-ibig
At dalisay na pananampalatang
Kakayanin natin ang mga susunod pang dekada,
Mga dekadang sabay na mamumuti
Ang ating mga buhok
At sabay na malalagas
Patungo kung saan man tayo nagmula.

Wala akong ibang nais na masilayan
Kundi ang mga mata **** sining sa aking paningin.
Ang ngiti **** sana’y manatiling
Matatamis na alaalang
Ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang aking pipiliin.

At sa mga oras na ang mga pahina na ng kalendaryo
Ang kusang magpatangay sa hangi’y
Nanaisin ko pa ring manatili
Sa mga akap **** pinili kong maging kanlungan
At ang magiging sigaw ng aking puso’t damdami’y
Papuri sa Unang Umibig sa atin
Bago pa man mag-krus ang ating mga landas.
890 · Jul 2015
Getting Lost in God's Arms
And I’m tired of trying to find my own way
And I’m tired of playing the mouse in the maze
Like I’m memorizing the same old phrase
Just repeating my steps to the same old place

Oh, I wanna get lost tonight
I wanna get lost
I wanna get lost in your arms
I wanna get lost
And lose my way into your heart.

Cuz there’s so many voices
Telling me how to get lost in this life
So right now I wanna get lost in you
Lost in you
Before I lose myself
889 · Nov 2021
Mga Puwang at Patlang
111921

May mga gabing kukuha tayo ng pluma’t
Kakatha ng mga himig sa ating isipang
Itinuturing nating mga bala’t sandata
Laban sa mga nanghihimasok na mga ideolohiyang
Kumikitil sa ating nag-aalab na mga pangarap.

At may mga gabing
Isusulsi pa rin natin nang magdamagan
Ang mga alaalang pinunit ng kasaysayan.
At siguro nga’y wala na rin tayong
Ibang kuwentong maiaambag pa.
Marahil ang lahat ay maging tuldok
Bilang panimula’t pangwakas.

Kusa ang ating pagtiklop
Bagama’t manhid na tayo
Sa malamig na pag-ihip at pagsipol
Ng bumubugang panahon.

At maghahagilap pa rin tayo ng dahilan
Sa bawat puwang, sa bawat patlang
Na bumabalandra sa ating harapan
Sa bawat pagkabit sa araw
Na parang mga parol pagsapit ng kapaskuhan.

At siguro nga’y magugulat tayo
Sa paparating na sorpresa
Na hindi na tadhana ang may akda.
Na baka bukas o sa makalawa’y
Ibang lenggwahe na ang ating binibigkas
At ang ating mga kasuota’y
Mapupuno ng mga palamuting
Pinili at tunay ngang may basbas.
881 · Feb 2015
Intentional Discipleship
"The best way to be responsible is to be discipled."
- *
Sir Jan Abril
876 · Sep 2016
You're not an Exemption
092516

God's love for us is not a love
That exempts us from trials,
But rather a love
That always sees us through trials.

In prosperity, God tests our gratitude;
In poverty our contentment;
In despair our hope;
In darkness our light thru FAITH;
and at all times our obedience to God.

God made all things beautiful in His time!
866 · Oct 2017
Ancient
1017

Your love is ancient,
Your love is ancient, oh oh oh
Your love is ancient
Lord, I have You

There's redemption in Your scars
There's an ancient love in You
Hanging in every Word You say
You're always present, never leavin' me.

There's a brokenness, in my heart
That only You can bless (bless oh Lord)
You make me hold to what is Yours
Jesus, You make me whole.

You're more than a spark in my eyes
You're more than a flame in my soul
Oh Your love is a fire
I'm breathing now, I am alive

Galaxies are born as You breathe
Your Words are true, I'm anchored in You
You cross the distance when I can't Lord
You said, "Be free" in my slavery.

Your voice says, "Stop fighting
Coz it's not your fight
Trust in Me with hands open wide
Take My hand, lean on My side
I am Yours and You are mine.

You whisper for darkness to go
You shout, "Arise, You are brand new"!"
Thousands of lies disappear
All my failures are gone
I overcome the seas.

Your love is ancient
Your love is ancient
Your love is ancient
My victory, it is done
864 · May 2017
Summer Love Song
052317

Birds chitter as every green structure
Fails their promises of love
Written in letters in an invisible sky
As they sang the ocean's death of goodbyes.

Fueling the savory bite
Of ala-Krispy Kreme in their tummies,
They drown in their melodies
Of drop and failed stories
The rugged soil was a false hope,
Even if they taste the aquifer's best.

They should've not departed from their own kind
But they've loved being sprinkled with the fiery mirage.
Force majeure was their allied forces
As the scissors of vetiver held back the fiber mesh.

Both live and dead loads are alive
And the ocean cries -- defying gravity.
But the level has not been measured enough,
The waters worshipped themselves
And there's no sign of hue of Heaven's crystal clear.

I have loved to see everything enough
To sing theories and to paint them in dramatic history.
But as I've tried to plant another tree
Life has not sprouted coz it's a different summer now.
860 · Apr 2016
Three in Love
“It takes three to make love, not two: you, your spouse, and God.
Without God people only succeed
in bringing out the worst in one another.
Lovers who have nothing else to do but love each other
soon find there is nothing else.
Without a central loyalty life is unfinished.”
*-  Fulton J. Sheen
857 · May 2014
Wordless Words
True blue and cleared sky
Where the pasture meets the woodland
And the current meets the past —
That is where I’ll meet you.

Evening falls,
And the field glows
Burgundy,
I’ll come near you.

The sky is a well of inky black
Pinpricked with diamonds,
Still, I’ll be so near.

We will languish in the woods,
Forge friendships with the trees.
When the trees got tire of us,
We will go
Befriend the tall grass.

Such are the inhabitants of this place—
This place
Where the pasture meets the woodland.
And you and I,
Oh dear companion,
Will slip into their ordinary,
While remaining wholly in our own
very extraordinary
And these hours
It counts for you!

(12/9/13 @xirlleelang)
853 · Jul 2014
The Encounter
I raise my white flag
A signal of surrender
The confession was at first hard for me,
Too hard for me
To let go of the things
That once became my false gods.

I went in front
I left the crowd
I don't care what they may say
I don't care if they judge me
But I know, Someone is calling me.

There, I found myself
With two hands raised to Heaven
I closed my eyes
And knelt to show humility.

The Spirit break out
I can feel His presence
His power took control of me.

I speak Your name
I was shouting over and over again
I can't control the voice in me
I felt that I was tore into two
It's my voice, but it's not me.

I cried out so loud
I can't control my tongue
I heard myself uttering foreignly
As if I'm alienated with a great power.

A new song was written in my heart
And my soul sing
I felt I had just escaped the dark
I saw the Light, even if my eyes are closed
There was a bright Cross in front of me.

Jesus, You then are King!
I love You!
Everything was fresh in me, I could even write and tell what happened in details. I really owe God for that great experience in my life. It was a "Boom," an experience that changed my life. It happened last year, October, when we had a National G12 Conference here in the Philippines.

I really felt how powerful the Holy Spirit is, and when He comes down, surely, everyone will feel Him. I actually don't know who the Holy Spirit was, but after that moment, I was totally.. ugh.. I don't know. But I really long for that kind of encounter. Even before, I had that "Holy Jealousy" with those who speaks in tongues or could feel the Holy Spirit. But really, it was the best moment in my entire life.

To tell you the truth, that altar call was for those who have ****** sins. I never heard to whom that call was for, but just what I've said I felt I should come and go in front. Ever since I was in Grade 5 (10 y/o that time), I had my habitual sin. Yeah, I did that thing of "*******." All the glory to God, that I have the courage to say it now. It took me years to be freed from that grip of Satan in me.

Okay, to make the story short: I already renounced it and again, thank You Jesus!

Well then, that was my first time to experience those works of the Holy Spirit in me. And since I'm human, many times I'm tempted to do the same sin. The truth is, many times I failed the Lord, but indeed at the end, it was His unconditional love that would break me into pieces and that would tell me, "Child, that's enough. Come to me."

I dunno what I'm actually saying right now, but all of these are due to what He has done to me. Right now, I just feel comforted by the Lord. I ain't perfect but He has chosen me to be His child. I love You Jesus, forgive me for the way I think earlier. In Jesus name, I claim forgiveness and hail You, Amen.
837 · May 2014
Modern Vanquisher
You can hear the voices of our peers
Being silenced, ignored, shunned and distorted.
Staggering out of their bedroom doorways
To the street corner to score a dime bag.

Bright, insightful kandi kids freezing
In search of warmth from something to believe in
Hopin’ those will encourage them
To look forward to see another day.

Where our economy has made financial prudence clear
The price tag of university tuition’s skyrocket
The refused, the ones with hope
But no money or scholarships;
Tread the streets
With the echoes of electro-house
Pulsing in their skulls.

Those who strip themselves down
And shred their own morals
To scraps just to find themselves
And to see their own limitations.
Searching for answers to the unknown,
To ascertain what they are,
Who they are and why.

The bewilderment of adulthood,
The abundance of pressure and responsibility.
Awakened from nightmares of lost opportunities,
Missed trains and lost contacts.

Everything went astray
But hope crash in
They wear the armour
Facing the giants of their lives
They conquered
Became champions of this new generation!

(3/13/14 @xirlleelang)
837 · May 2014
Stranger's Handshake
A gala of life,
A crowd humming with melody.
Heaving each hand above,
Waving with the gust itself.

As the spotlight has smacked me,
Perhaps, just perhaps –
That’s the time when he first noticed me,
At the backside, I assumed, there he stood.

The song was brought to a close,
I see people with their hands ready.
I was about to loom them,
But with someone’s gaze, this chap has trapped me.

How lofty man is he,
For when I’m in 5’3,
I calculated our slits;
His black hair outshines the lights,
And that led me to not look at him directly.

His words are about to be spoken,
And left it with a declarative verdict.
For he's about to ask me a question,
That jiffy, I never had spite in psyche.

Asked me with my name,
And I even gave him a reply.
It seems hard for him to understand,
With a brunt, the mob has left a mark.

There was a silence,
But his hands came near mine –
Offering me a handshake as a usual greeting;
I gave him a hand and smiles reflected back.

“What year are you?” he asked,
“Fourth year,” I uttered with respect.
He even asked over my course,
That’s why I thought he discern someone I know.

And it looks as if he hates digits,
And yet told me I was excellent with that –
Without even knowing,
My trouble zone was Math.

I was direct with my words,
As questions were raised by this man.
I don’t know why I responded him,
Or maybe just to give him a reverence.

As someone uttered my name,
I turned back from this guy.
With such proverbial voice,
I seek out where the origin is.

With the seats to which my eyes were hub,
The same guy had advanced me.
“Where d’you live?” he posed;
And I pointed out where it is.

The tête-à-tête was ‘kinda rude,
And we just sit where our things are.
With his eyes, looking at me
I felt mindful where it’d lead.

After that service, I was about to go;
Finding a friend to join me with a way home;
And with his red top,
I saw him with a look yet keen.

*I don't know why. I don't know how. Oh! C'mon! I'm being distracted.

(3/17/13 @xirlleelang)
820 · May 2021
Wonders and Awe
To see You in victory
Regardless of my brokenness,
For You are my one thing.

--------------------

War is a good language;
For in every war, there's always a victory --
A victory in a Name that's above all other names.

The Name who's good at defending,
Who's good at perfecting,
In drawing closer those hearts that are calling for help.
Those who plead and trust only Him.

The strengthening of the Lord covers all ages,
It's a transformation from inside out
And it's through the breath of life.

We listen to His voice like lullabies in our ears.
We need not pretend that we are strong by ourselves,
To stop taking the first steps
But instead, allow Him to take us to His ways.

When John saw the revealed Jesus;
He no longer is the wounded One,
But He is seen as the resurrected One.

Maybe we've been trying out too many schemes
And our strategies always lead us to an end --
The dead-end of our lives.

But tonight, God wants to remind you
That your ending is the new beginning
And that Jesus already died for you and me.

His death became the beginning
Of exchanging meaning of what "victory" is all about.
A beginning that sprouts like a new leaf;
A beginning living in His testimony.

He says, "Come up here and see."
See it for yourself;
Because the Lord already prepared a banquet.

Jesus has the invitation to see Him,
To experience His salvation, His blessings
And so we can be filled with wonders and awe once again.
God is just waiting.
Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
819 · Nov 2022
Groundbreaking
091622

The rain emptied its heavy heart,
And all of them get their crowns in white
Their robes contrast with mine
While some hold their golden wands.

I look up to the sky and begged it to stay still
But the waters wanna bless
The dry coarse land we’re treading in.
And everyone was so thrilled to dance in the rain
To relish their breaks and take pleasure in their poise.

I stood aside seeing their joyful faces
But my heart was also gloomy as I search from within.
Everyone started to leave
And I was one of those who are left with their remnants.

My head is downcast as the rain pours
And I felt discouraged and rejected for a while.
I took what is left with me,
And before they eliminate the printout,
Before everyone else embark on their preceding steps,
There I am – having my moment.

I had no chance to put up a smile
And I stroll with tears
That is about to fall
But as I try to compose myself,
I have to overcome myself again and again.

Even if grief buries my face,
Something sparkly assaults me from within —
That there was someone else who watches over me
Who always claps at me
When no one else does.

Someone up there is granting me courage
Who knows how I worked hard
Until I set foot at this very moment.

And while nobody else compliments me,
He who knows me best says,
“You’ve done a great job.”

From a heavy heart this sunrise,
My sunset was moved by praise.
Here I am calling this day a triumph
And praying for those whom God told me to intervene for.

I knew that I don’t always get the outcomes that I expect,
But He who started my foundations
Will soon bring me to the finish line.
And I will continue to run this race —
Looking at the Gem of my heart.

Truly, humility comes before honor
And honor and praise only belong to my King —
To my King who sees my afflictions
Whether in sorrow or joy,
Let me serve you
With all of my heart, strength, mind, and soul.
817 · Mar 2017
Dwelling Place
032517

I count the pages of written scripts
Of books in digits of sixty-six
And in thirty-three years,
I held you so close
Showed you this everlasting love
That was never untold.

Everything
I have made known to you
Revealed by the spirit, touched by grace
Unending love, heaven is here
I brought you the place
To where I'll dwell you in.
Read John 15:15
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