You are a novel
gathering dust on my shelf
but not because I don’t want to read
but because I’m afraid
to turn the page,
afraid of how you’ll end

The loss of a love,
now but a distant memory
still lingering in my mind;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
A thousand deaths,
whether it be from this world,
My past or my present;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
The pain upon my brain,
In my heart and in my soul;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.
Yet I still throw myself
at this life, at this world
and the broken thing always
comes back with a smile on it;
It hurts, but I’m not sad.

Before I met you
I thought that
poetry was just
a collection of words,
that music was just
a collection of sounds,
that art was just
a collection of
shapes, colours and stokes
that life was just
a series of
years, breaths and steps
Indeed, I see things differently now
Through you, I am reborn

For some reason,
this is the one day of the year
where we place an immense amount
of pressure on ourselves
to have fun, to be social.
On Valentine’s Day,
you’re either with your partner
or you’re not.
On Christmas, you’re with family.
On your birthday, anything goes.
But on New Years,
you’re either out
having a blast or
you’re all
alone.

Your hair flows like wine
Down your body
Sweeter than grapes
And once again
I'm drunk on
The memories
Of you

We are all
made of stardust.
Yet you somehow seem
to shine brighter than
anyone else.

Is it true?
Does my name
Drift in the wind?
Over the mountains
And across the sea?
Does it fade 
From your mind?
Like a visitor who
Has overstayed
Their time? 
Do the memories
Recede to the back
Of your mind?
Like the sun leaving 
the day behind?

But loneliness
Doesn’t come from being alone
Loneliness comes from feeling alone
And feeling alone comes
From feeling different
And feeling different
comes from feeling unloved
and you feel unloved
Because you don’t
even love
yourself

Sometimes
I find myself
rewriting poems
Changing all the words
except for
your name

How do I say
“I miss you”
in a way that
will make your heart
ache as much
as mine does?

It hurts
day by day.
I can feel you fade
and slip away,
through my fingers
that were never yours
anyway.

I feel a weight of the world
Upon my shoulders
My stomach churns
And there is no escape
I tell myself there is a light
At the end of this tunnel
There has to be
The nights aren’t getting
Anything shorter
The thoughts aren’t
Going away
But there’s no turning back now
On this long road out of hell

There's a black cat
that follows me home
every night I feel her gaze
cut to the bone.
I walk in her shadow
I cannot escape
sometimes it's more
than I can take.
There's no use running,
she's always one step ahead
though some will say
it's all just in my head
Black cat, turn away
I'm growing tired
of this struggle
every day

I didn’t believe in fate
Until the universe
Threw me into
Your arms
I didn’t believe in souls
Until our souls
Became one
and the same
No, I didn’t believe in angels
not until I saw you smile;
a heavenly aura
Of beauty
And light

You're just what I need
Needed...
I miss you
But I know I'm not supposed to
You're gone now
And I need to accept that
Still, I tell myself
We'll meet again
And that you still
Think about me too
So all I can hope
Is that you don't forget me
Don't forget what we shared
If only for a little while
All I can hope
Is that you leave a light on
For what
The future holds

I’ll get by
With a broken heart
It’s always been this way
From the start

I’ll get by
With heavy eyes
This exhaustion doesn’t
seem to die

I’ll get by
with a cluttered mind
where my anxieties always
leave me blind

I’ll get by
with a lingering shame
the one that turned me
into what I became

I always
do

There's a riddle-shaped hole
Cutting deep in my heart
but I gave up in it
Long ago
I swore I had
Accepted defeat
But every now and then
I'll catch myself
Digging at
The riddle-shaped hole
You left
So long ago

I caught myself
Again
Staring up at the starry night
Thinking about you
Wondering if you stare
At the same starry night
thinking about me too
and if you still
cross my mind

Suicide;
it doesn't stop the pain.
It packs it into a grenade,
amd throws it
to your loved ones.

Some hummingbirds
Must dream of sugar
And I remember your lips
Sweeter than sugar
Some hummingbirds
Take pride in their feathers
Yet, vibrant as they are,
Your eyes remain treasures
And now, my broken wing,
It keeps us far apart
But I will continue to sing  
Longing for your heart
and your lips, a work of art
So here’s a song to the girl  
that this hummingbird
still dreams about

It’s only been two days
But it’s true, I miss you
I tell myself it’s just a faze
To stop myself from feeling blue
but spring has never felt colder
My bed's never felt so empty
Now, all I can do is wait for summer
To bask in your warmth and all your beauty

Your body
is an artwork
hung up like a Monet
it brightens up my day
A masterpiece
that I call mine
appreciated each morning
'til night without warning
I cannot
turn away  
a beauty so immortal
so sublime and so artful

I've been dancing
with the ghost
of you
I've been dreaming
of the past,
it's true
Now I'm thinking
of the present,
today
But you wished it
to hell and all
away

I am sick
and tired
of writing
about heartache
time and
time again.
All I want
is to catch a break;
To put down
my weary pen
and face the day
smiling in my wake

I prefer
the certainty
of separation
Than the
uncertainty
of 'almost'

Empty night
Fading light
it was raining glass
in the broken part of town
Hollow night
Dying light
The stars comes to pass
And I am going down
Like the moon
Gone too soon
Waiting on the sun
When all is said and done

It’s not easy
to be so far away
to only hear your voice
Instead of my eyes
sketching your face
your curves, your smile
it’s not easy
having a bad day
and not hold
The only person
Who can make it better
it’s not easy
having a good day
but not celebrate
with you that night
to not have breakfast
On a Sunday morning
or maybe dinner plans
for when you get off work
it’s not easy
Missing you
With an empty heart
But I get by
With the thought
Of you in my arms
Again

My poor heart
It’s seen better days
If only it could restart
And get out of this faze

my poor heart
When will it ever learn?
It isn't all that smart
It cannot help but yearn

My poor heart
it’s getting out of hand
if sorrow was an art
I’d be the best in the land

My poor heart
Just one more beating
I’d fall off the chart
and hide until spring

I left my heart in Belgium
I left it on her bed
I thought it’d fade like autumn
Wither like leaves until dead
She said she’d hold it close
Keep it warm throughout winter
She’d treat it like a rose
And bring it back as warm as fire

I would fly to Mars
Just to see your smile
a smile brighter than the stars
It makes my heart leap a mile
I would swim an ocean
Just to kiss your lips
I’d feel as happy as a dolphin
That does all sorts of flips

We’re like two sunflowers, dear
Intertwined and always near
But when you’re gone
Suddenly, I’m not so bright
Withering until dawn
Waiting for your light

I do not get to hold you
But in my dreams that is not true
nor can I feel your tender kiss
but the thought alone brings me bliss

I do not get to dry your tears
but one day I’ll chase away your fears  
Nor can I see your glowing smile
The one that can warm any reptile

I do not get to hold your hand
But I can sing about you in a band
Nor can I wake up next to you
But give it time, we’ll make it true

Last night you came to me
Just a dream at three thirty-three
And then you kissed me
I almost felt your body
And when you held me
I couldn’t wake, I couldn’t flee

Truly,
The stories and songs fall short of your beauty
Truly,
your beauty surpasses even the largest sea

Sit with me, dear friend
One more time, before I go
Let's pretend this night won't end
And we never have to go home
Nothing matters when the moon is out
In sweats or tatters you're entrancing
Whether in bed or out and about
This view makes me feel like dancing
You've never been more beautiful
Standing underneath the moon
Whether a crescent or half-full
Whether it be to an awful tune

The worst pains
are worse than
the best pleasures
are good

It’s true,
we watched the sun set
And with you:
A moment I wouldn’t forget
It happened,
we watched the moon rise
And it glistened,
I saw it in your eyes

Like the sun,
she brightens up my day
Always there, never far away
Like Mercury,
She’s scorched with beauty
A dazzling image for all to see
Like Venus,
A goddess in my mind
A divine gift for all mankind
Like Earth,
Her heart is where I make my home
An aura so real, I never feel alone
Like Mars,
Her hair, it runs with red
she annihilates any tear I shed
Like Jupiter,
She has the largest heart
She herself: a work of art
Like Saturn,
Beauty surrounds her like a ring
So light and divine, almost floating
Like Uranus,
She goes against the grain
Free from the world, she breaks the chain
Like Neptune,
Her passion rages like the wind
she sets out like a storm to rescind
Like Pluto,                  
So distant but never forgotten
Dancing for eternity around the sun

I was left in shambles,
I was left in the cold
Then she appeared like angels,
So divine and so bold
We danced through a sunshower
We baked the perfect batch
Oh so full our bellies were
It was a perfect match

It’s always
the least suspecting one.
You convince yourself
they are your stars and sun,
When all along,
they were just
another bullet in the gun

I feel it everyday
Tattooed on my brain
It keeps me at bay
Its origins unexplained
It greets me in the morning
It greets me in the midnight blue
Each day, I feel it like a sting
Each day, I know my shame is true

You would think
by now
I would have realized
Just how temporary
a person
can be

These days,
they aren't the same
not without your smile
held to such acclaim
These nights,
they aren't the same
not without your warmth
burning like a flame
And this season,
it never felt so cold
never quite the same
without you to here hold

This feeling returns
Like running in circles
It's getting old
It leaves me at the
bottom of the bottle
lonely and cold

You may be unreachable
Like an island across sea
But I’d make myself miserable
Just to make you happy

I wasn’t sure if it was
the pounding of my heart,
the gentle autumn touch,
or your smile I call art
but it happened all too fast
Under the radiant moon
it happened like a dream
a dream too good to be true

I’m afraid of living in a
dreary world without you
So I went out into the fields
And picked
ten thousand sunflowers.
As they brightened my room
I was reminded
of the way your eyes
would brighten up my life

I looked and I looked
deep into your eyes
And there you were
Lost in the fires
You were lost
Nobody was home
I screamed and I screamed
I screamed your name
But nobody was home
You were lost to the flame

There’s a weight on my heart
And it’s ripping me apart
There’s a pressure in my chest
Again, it puts me to the test

I am a bug
You are a garden
Just one more hug
And I’m in heaven

I am an island
You are a sea
Leaving me stunned
And no longer empty

I am a comet
You are a star
Missing you’s become a habit
That leaves me with a scar