she was the sun
and the moon
simultaneously

when she entered the room
the rays of her smile radiated
and warmed the skin of everyone
in her proximity

she resembled a light summer breeze
that made the curtains dance when
the windows were left open

but she was more dynamic
than a simple ray of sun.

when she exits the room
and is left in the presence of herself
the shadows of her soul shake
like flowers after the first frost

she becomes an earthquake
as she goes to war with her mind

she was the best of the light
and the worst of the darkness

she lives as an eclipse.

as spring awakens
so does my heart

it's been packed away for
the cold of winter

but now my heart is thawing
the soil is softening
and i need someone to plant
their flowers here

because my heart is ready
to be nurtured
to feel nourished

and to flourish into the
beautiful blossoms
that deserve to grow
in my vacant heart

when you found me, I was shattered inside and out
you slowly filled my cracks with your sunshine
until I was radiating light everywhere I went
but then I started shining too bright
so bright that I outshined you
and you didn't like that
so then you began dulling my light
exposing the cracks once more
until there was nothing left of my foundation
and I crumbled like never before
my happiness and shine turned into ashes
and you left me just as you found me, shattered

I wrote about you for the same reason I photographed you

Because even though we aren't the same people now

You're the same person I fell in love with on the old pages of my journal

But instead of being wrapped in your arms, the words on my pages hold me close and bring warmth to my heart, much like you used to

The photographs of you pull up the corners of my lips to create a soft nostalgic smile, though my eyes start to pool in the corners

Not tears of sadness, but of melancholy remembrance for how much has changed since the ink dried on my pages

Tears that remind me why I write and capture

So that I can relive the moments I held dearest and preserve those who walked down my path with me, no matter where they veered off on their own, they'll always remain the same in my story.

Looking back, you say that you did everything right and fought for me till the end, but the thing is you fought once I had already surrendered.

You started fighting after I stopped caring.

I checked out and you moved in.

So now we look in the rearview and you think I had impossible expectations but you were just two steps behind my needs, so I had two feet out of the door before you had any inclination where I was going or that I wouldn't return.

hour by hour the morning turns into afternoon and the afternoon turns into evening

and I don’t think of you.

the evening fades into the depth of night as i’m driving down a dark empty road.

the memories of us begin to flood in and suddenly i’m drowning;

until dawn saves me again.

she stopped searching for the light

in times of darkness

and instead, set the world aglow

one smile at a time

as every ounce of confidence she has falls from her heavy wet lashes onto the bathroom floor,
she sits and wonders how someone so strong and beautiful can crumble within seconds
but the emptiness and confusion she feels in her soul is simply her own demons scratching from her core to get out;
for her to free them from weighing her down