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May 2019 · 479
Reasons
Ruheen May 2019
It took you long enough
To finally realize
That I don't like you.
Not because you did something
Or because you are you,
But just because.
When you don't like someone, but you don't have any reason to NOT like them.
That feeling you get from a person you don't like.
You don't know why.
You just don't like them.
May 2019 · 211
Every Time
Ruheen May 2019
Every time
I say I'm fine
I'm really not
I just want to cry

Every time
I'm all alone
Another scar
A broken bone

Every time
I look back
Someone laughs
Just another crack

Every time
They say it's fine
It's really not
Nothing's right
A burst of inspiration.
May 2019 · 190
Alone
Ruheen May 2019
I realized I'm quite lonely,
But I'm fine with it.
Because if having friends means
Being associated
With people like them,
Then I'd rather just be alone.
Something happened. I'm glad it did.
May 2019 · 285
Society
Ruheen May 2019
~

Chaos can be controlled.
Calm cannot.
So, the calm before the chaos
Is scarier than the chaos.

~
...
I know it's 'the calm before the catastrophe', but this just sounded better, so..... :)
May 2019 · 725
Rain
Ruheen May 2019
~

The cloud cried heavy tears,
While the trees celebrated, for they began to grow new leaves.


~
I love the rain.
Ruheen May 2019
Blade in my hand.
Eyes on you.
Feet planted on the ground.

You come running at me.
Not knowing what's about to happen.
Then suddenly blood spatters.

My hand's on your shoulder.
The blade in your torso.
As your white shirt turns red.

I tell you I'll take it out.
That it was only an accident.
But instead, I twist.

And watch your pretty little self
Fall to the ground.
Writhing in pain.

What's scary is that I don't feel anything.
Not pain, not guilt, not fear, nothing.
Hell, I barely even care.

I laugh at your cries for help.
I've killed you, now.
Twisted the knife and watched as you fell.
What can I say? I'm crazy.
May 2019 · 898
TrageDIES
Ruheen May 2019
Happiness dies
        Excitement dies
Love dies
              People die.
                                  .
                        ­               .
                                           .
                                   And we get over it,
But our hearts don't.
                                  And
                                      so
                                        our  
                  ­                            souls
                                                      die.
Just a thought I played around with.
May 2019 · 153
Red
Ruheen May 2019
Red
Red is anger
Red is blood
Red is pain
But red is love
Red is war
Red is a rose
Red is fear
But red is hope

In the darkness, there is no light.
Only pain and misery, war and strife.
But love overcomes all, it fights.
The opposite of darkness is love, that is your light.

To find love in the dark,
Find the red in the black.
Yeah. So....? Yeah.
May 2019 · 764
Dead Daisy
Ruheen May 2019
It's never I want to
It's always I have to
I need to
Be free

They pick me
They throw me
In a pile of dirt
A lonely daisy

Surrounded by roses
Red trickling down their thorns
I'll do what they do
I'll bleed

I'll never be a rose
I'm stuck in the ground
While they're in glass vases
Staring down at me

They're words get stronger
They're actions speak louder
My cuts get deeper
On the edge of insecurity

Soon I won't be breathing
Oh, the irony
In the middle of roses
A dead daisy
Yeah. Well... Yeah.
May 2019 · 146
The Lone Tree
Ruheen May 2019
~

I just wanted silence.
Is that so hard to hear?

They misunderstood.
I didn't want them to disappear.


Are you so lost,
In your decadent flowers,
That you can't see a thing
Going on around us?


I can't fix things.
Things that aren't broken.
I wish I was drunk on rain,
I like it better than oxygen.


Are your roots so small,
That you can't even gather,
What little that's left
Of all of the water?


A drunk man's words
Are sober thoughts.
But a drunk tree's words
Say more than a lot.


You hide behind your leaves,
And those twisted vines.
Trying to look pretty.
Yelling that you're fine.


I've got terms and conditions.
Ones not so hard to follow.
Just be a lot quieter,
In your misery, you shall wallow.


But you need water.
You need care.
Otherwise, you won't grow
And you'll die right there.


You can share my apples,
But know this,
I may grow apples,
But I like oranges.


~
Two sides. One story.
Two thoughts. One head.
May 2019 · 189
Roads
Ruheen May 2019
~

Twists and turns,
Soon fade away.
When you find yourself
On a straight road.

Only one car,
Next to you.
A stranger.
Someone you don't know.

The light is coming,
Taking it along.
All that's left is you,
So you're alone.

In the middle
Of nowhere,
Now you don't know
Where to go.

Suddenly
Everything is coming your way.
You're in the wrong lane,
But you try not to let it show.

At a crossroads.
What will you choose?
Forwards, backwards,
Why not just go after your shadow?

You're waiting.
Overthinking.
Worrying.
But now you have to let go.

Because of the twists and turns.
They come back slowly.
You had a one-way path,
But you missed your chance.


~
When life throws you lemons, but you can't catch them in time.
May 2019 · 75
One Star in the Sky
Ruheen May 2019
I want to paint the sky.
Paint it red.
Paint it black.
Paint it with a million stars,
For I only see one.
It doesn't shine too bright,
But maybe because it's dying.
Like the colours of the sky,
It dies down.
But unlike the colours of the sky,
It won't come back.
The colours of the sky
Will rise again.
But that one star,
It's energy will
Dissipate
Into a void.
Lost in space.
I don't want a sunset.
I don't want a blue sky.
I want a sky that's so real,
It almost looks fake.
Because that one star,
Is holding out hope,
Even though it knows.
It's not so bright,
But maybe once it was,
And maybe a fire that burned so bright,
Just wasn't meant to
Last.
Saw a sunset today that looked like a painting. It was getting dark.
Then I looked and I saw a star. There were other stars, but I focused only on that one star. It reminded me of something I read once.
Staring at that star, I felt free. For the first in a while. Strangely enough, I also felt an emotion I 'strongly dislike'....hope.
It was liberating.
Try it sometime. Just look at the sky, find a star and focus on it.
It might help with all of life's complications. (People being one of them :/). For the first time in weeks, I'm not that stressed. Weight lifted.
Apr 2019 · 341
Parachute
Ruheen Apr 2019
I was flying high
But then I came crashing down

I don't know why
You couldn't save me now

You were there before
I didn't have to call out for you

But you're not here anymore
So I had to use my parachute
When you get tired of depending on people...because you know they'll leave anyway.
People get tired of you being sad so they leave...even when they promised they wouldn't.
Apr 2019 · 482
Numb
Ruheen Apr 2019
It hurts.
I know it does.
But I'm devoid of emotion,
So I can't feel it.
I think that's a good thing.
Isn't it?
I'd rather be dead, but still, I wish I was numb.
Apr 2019 · 385
Nature's Way
Ruheen Apr 2019
Human beauty is nothing compared to nature's beauty.

Human noise is nothing compared to nature's noise.

Human anger is nothing compared to nature's anger.

Humans are nothing compared to nature.
We really aren't. Nature can calm us, anger us, and most importantly, it can destroy us.
It's best not to anger Mother Earth. We are, after all, her children.
She can punish us in the worst way possible.
Happy belated Earth Day!
Apr 2019 · 259
Anxiety
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm not excited.
Nor am I nervous.
Not exactly worried, either.

Just plain scared.
Scared of what's going to happen.
Of what's not going to happen.
Just plain scared.
Apr 2019 · 122
The Right To Be Human
Ruheen Apr 2019
What is the point of human rights if we don't acknowledge the fact that people have them?
As soon as you're born, you have them. Simply because you're human.
But acting human is a whole different thing.
Humans aren't machines.
We shouldn't be controlled.
People cannot tell us whether we deserve those rights or not, even if we don't.
In the end, we still have them.
But what's the point if we're not respected for having them?
Maybe it depends on an individual person.
We may think that someone doesn't deserve any rights, but they think that they do.
They may think that we don't deserve them, but we think that we do.
But when you think about it, our 'worth' is what decides if we 'deserve' to have rights or not.
It's almost like an unspoken rule;
Popularity triumphs all.
And though there are exceptions, that 'rule' still exists.
Popularity, money, fame.
Things that can vanish within a matter of time.
Our lives?
Not the same.
We all have the right to be human.
We can't choose not to be human,
But we can choose to be a good or bad one.
People violate human rights day-to-day, right in front of us.
And we just sit and watch.
We're bystanders.
And, honestly?
That's worse than being the violator.
Inspired by something I read.
There are 30 articles. 30 rights. We all have them. And they cannot be taken away.
Bullying, discrimination, false accusations. All of these violate at least 3 or 4 articles. And this happens every single day.
Human Rights is probably the most ironic things humans have ever created.
What's the point? Seriously?! I mean, why create something that isn't even going to be acknowledged?!
More people know about osmosis that they do about human rights, something that they've had since the day they were born. (Probably an exaggeration, but you get what I mean!)
I'm pretty sure the United Nations isn't happy with how things have turned out.

*lets out a long breath*
*sighs*
*smiles sheepishly*

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. Enjoy?
Apr 2019 · 194
Without Evil
Ruheen Apr 2019
Evil is underestimated when it should be understood
We focus on the good when even the bad has a story
We still prefer the heroes to the villains
When sometimes, the villains win and the heroes lose
Heroes wouldn't be heroes
Without evil
Just a thought. Heroes wouldn't be able to do anything if villains didn't do something.
Good can't exist without bad.

Read it from top to bottom or from bottom to top. It still makes sense.
Apr 2019 · 150
Forgive, Never Forget
Ruheen Apr 2019


It's easy to forgive,
So much harder to forget.


Just a thought.
Someone asked me to forgive them..and I did. But that doesn't mean I'm suddenly going to shower them in flowers or welcome them into open arms.
I forgave that person, but not because they deserved forgiveness, but because I deserved peace.
Don't remember who said that.
Apr 2019 · 343
Sad Type
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm on the wrong side
Of the right side.

I'm stuck on the outside,
Even when I'm inside.

I'm on the bad side
Of the good side.

Out of the bad guys,
I'm the sad type.
:p *sigh* Uhhhh? Yeah. I mean it's all there. I know what it means....at least I think I do. Oh, well.
Apr 2019 · 140
What It's Like
Ruheen Apr 2019
You were right when you said
I don't know what it's like to be you
But take a look in my head
You have no idea what it's like to be me.
You might, they don't.
Apr 2019 · 441
Down
Ruheen Apr 2019
Down                                                                 I trusted you, but -
          D                                                               You promised me, but -
               O
                   W                    I fall from the sky, and -
                        N                You let me fall, and -
                          down
                                 DON'T                                 I didn't jump, and -
                                      L                              You pushed me over, but-
                                       E
                                       T                     I'm disappointed, but -
                                         ME              You're disappointing, and -
                                               d
                                                  o
                                                     w
                                                         n
You let me down
Well. Read it, however. I don't know. I don't care. It just is.
Apr 2019 · 323
Average
Ruheen Apr 2019
I'm just an average person,
Capable of only being average.
Doing only average things.
And average is never ideal.
Especially in the world we live in.
So I gave up.
I gave up on being average.
I don't care if people see me as ordinary or ideal.
I care about how I see myself.
And I want to see the best version of me
Nothing going on with me, except for the fact that I am a broken mess who cannot be fixed, just like half the world.
I'm just simply ordinary.
But I don't care. I may be a broken mess, but I know I'm capable of doing more.
I may not show it, but in my mind, the war I've been fighting has already long been lost.
I gave up a long time ago. I've never settled on being average, so I gave up trying.
Apr 2019 · 464
Lifeboat
Ruheen Apr 2019
I could cry an ocean over everything
But I'd just be drowning myself

I see a lifeboat in the distance
But I'm too scared
To reach out for it

People have such high
Expectations
Ones I can't live up to
I can't even face them
It's always too soon

I could sail away
And save me

Let them all down

They wouldn't care
But I would care

It's the tiniest lifeboat
But it could do so much

It's only a lifeboat
Don't know where it'll go
All that I know
Is that I'll be happy
But I can't do that
I can't be happy

I see a lifeboat in the distance
It could save me
But I won't reach for it

It gets farther and farther away
And I just get pulled deeper and deeper in

I see a lifeboat in the distance
But it's too late
I've made my decision
My way out, but I can't take it. And no. It's not death.
Apr 2019 · 415
Fading
Ruheen Apr 2019
Watch me
             Fade away
                       Into nothing.
Fading...
              Fading...
                      ­      Fading...
                                          3, 2, 1...
                                                      Here I go...
                                                           ­             I'm gone.
I'm tired.
Apr 2019 · 183
Raze the Bar
Ruheen Apr 2019
I ruin everything.
Including me.
I can't be better.
I can't raise the bar.
I've already destroyed it.
See what I did there?
People have such high expectations and they keep 'raising' them.
It's annoying.
Raise the bar?
Destroy it, you mean?
Apr 2019 · 210
If Only
Ruheen Apr 2019
If only
I had no problems
Maybe
Then I wouldn't be
So lonely
Stressed out mind
And open heart
Both so lonely
I can't tell
If I'm alright
If only
I wasn't breaking
Slowly
I wouldn't be
So lonely
Walking away
So coldly
If only
I wasn't so
(not) crazy
Then maybe
If only
I'm not lonely
Umm. Uhh. Yeah!?
I DON'T KNOW!
If only I wasn't lonely....
Apr 2019 · 138
Poison
Ruheen Apr 2019
quick
painless
tasteless
wait
actually
nevermind
tastes like death
short and bitter
Apr 2019 · 225
On My Way
Ruheen Apr 2019
Blood, red roses
On your grave.
No new noises.
You've been gone for days.

At the graveyard
Starting to fade.
Still standing guard,
Because I'm not afraid.

Lost in a cemetery.
I wish you had stayed.
If only you listened to me.
You'd still be here today.

I was on my way.
When you try to help, but you're too late.
Apr 2019 · 211
Silence
Ruheen Apr 2019
Quiet, but loud.
Full, but empty.
Dark, but light.

It's rather contradicting.
As much as is it frustrating.
...
Apr 2019 · 136
A Puzzle
Ruheen Apr 2019
A puzzle isn't complete without all its pieces.
Just like how my soul isn't complete without you.
Could be about a person or something worse. Said it before, saying it again.
Apr 2019 · 446
You Told Me What If...
Ruheen Apr 2019
You told me to trust myself
But what if I hurt myself?

You told me to have faith,
But what if it's all a game?

You told me it's wrong or right,
But what if that's a lie?

You told me it's one or the other,
But what if it turns out to be neither?

You told me it wouldn't be so hard,
But what if I fall apart?

You told me life was a riddle,
But what if I can't meet you in the middle?

You told me,
But what if
What you told me,
Was just a what if?
This happened by accident. The best ones always do.
What if you told me?
You told me what if.
Apr 2019 · 227
Candle
Ruheen Apr 2019
Like a burning candle,
I melt.
Disappear right before your eyes.
Gone before you even notice.
                              That flicker you see
                                  The moment of hesitation
      Is me almost not wanting to leave
                 Almost
                                            I'll burn you
 Within a few seconds
                                       I'll burn down myself
     Within another
             Touch me and
                                          All you'll feel is pain
                                                            ­       I'm cold at first
                   But only because I'm so dangerous
                I'll hurt you,
Which is something I just don't want to do.
Well....yeah I have nothing to say. Make of it what you will.
Apr 2019 · 76
Miss Me
Ruheen Apr 2019
Tears in my eyes
Hands on a knife
Such a sad life
I've had to disguise

I'll be going to hell
I wish you well
Grief is a spell
Can't you tell

Don't send flowers
No one's died in hours
But me, I'm a coward
So, don't turn sour

Based on your insecurity
I figured you wouldn't care for me
You finally saw me
And now you're starting to miss me
Yeah. Well, yeah.
Mar 2019 · 860
Puppet
Ruheen Mar 2019
Without you, I fall limp.
I’ve got no mind of my own.
Dead, soulless eyes.
You are my home.
I’m a puppet on your strings.
Every movement you control.
Every word I say.
Everywhere I go.
When I break free,
You reel me back in.
Can someone help me?
I’m not really asking.
I'm there for everyone to see.
Center of attention.
But it's the puppeteer they care for,
Not his invention.
Turn me into the perfect doll.
No complaints.
I'll follow you blindly.
No restraints.
You're the leader,
And I'm the follower.
You're in front of the line.
And I'm just trailing behind.
When you want to be free...
But at the same time, you don't.
Mar 2019 · 596
Disappear
Ruheen Mar 2019
I don't run.
I disappear.
When I do,
You won't see me for a while.
That's why you haven't seen me for a while! It's confusing, but it's me.
Mar 2019 · 120
Hyperventilating
Ruheen Mar 2019
Hyperventilating
My hands are shaking
Rapid breathing
My body's seizing

Shallow breaths
Not cold, but I'm trembling
I can't stop
I keep worrying

Hyperventilating
My heart's racing
Throat constricting
My eyes are watering

Anxiety
Exhaling, not inhaling
My fears
Keeping it in, I'm hiding

Hyperventilating
I feel like I'm falling
I can't help but feeling
Like my world is crumbling
Eh.
Mar 2019 · 358
Afraid
Ruheen Mar 2019
Everything is cold.
I'm cold.
And scared.
I just don't know what to do.
Those words broke me,
Pieces.
That's all I am.
And I'm afraid that's all I'll ever be.
...
Mar 2019 · 178
I Wish
Ruheen Mar 2019
I wish I was trapped in a storm
It's better than being trapped in my head

I wish I couldn't hear myself think
My thoughts consume me, I'm about to sink

I wish I couldn't feel
I'd rather be numb, a feeling so surreal

I wish it was loud, and noisy
Lost in the silence, it's scary and empty

I wish they'd stop fighting
Maybe then I'd start smiling
The last sentence is what I wish for most.
Mar 2019 · 160
48 Hours
Ruheen Mar 2019
It's been 48 hours
Since I had you

It's been 48 hours
Since I saw you

It's been 48 hours
Since I felt you

And in those 48 hours
I realized how much I hate you
2 days. 48 hours of relative happiness. It wasn't all happy, but better than most days. Something's better than nothing.
Mar 2019 · 139
My Last Breath
Ruheen Mar 2019
Far from death

Close to death

At last, death

Nothing left

Not innocent

I deserve it

Far from death

Close to death

My last breath
Can you guess what I'm going to say about this?
HINT: I say it a lot. In almost all of my poems. Just three words.
Mar 2019 · 350
Labyrinth
Ruheen Mar 2019
There's no escape
From the prison that I made

It's in my own head
Just like that monster under the bed

I've got a maze for a mind
My mind is a maze

I don't know what you'll find
But you'll never find it again

It's so easy to get lost in the dark
When you don't have a light

I can't find my way out
I can barely put up a fight

I can't think with my head
I can't feel with my heart

I locked myself in
Yet I'm miles afar
How I feel about my head. It's a maze that I am trapped in. People can come and go, but I can never leave.
Which is quite unfortunate.
Mar 2019 · 336
I Don't Care
Ruheen Mar 2019
Once.
Just once.
Tell me.
Show me that you care.
And maybe then I'll stop.
Stop saying that I don't.
Every time someone says something to me, or gives me a title, I say I don't care. But only because *they* actually don't. But I do care. I don't let it affect me, but I want it to. I want them to console me when I get hurt, not just dismiss it with a simple "Ignore it."
I want to care, but that'll only happen when they start to care. About me.
Mar 2019 · 235
Mirror, Mirror
Ruheen Mar 2019
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who will die, out of them all?

Please just pick one
We're running out of time
Make a choice, it's time to decide

One by one they'll die anyway
What's the point of making them wait?

Only one
That's all I'm asking of you
One for the rest, it's time to choose

Quick and painless, they'll be asleep
They won't feel a thing, trust me

Better now than later
Better safe,
Than sorry.
I have no idea what goes on in my brain. Seriously. I've been trying to figure it out for years.
Mar 2019 · 258
The Stairs of Hell
Ruheen Mar 2019
Nothing is real
         Nothing is promised
                                   Nothing is true
                                                 But I'm being honest
                                                          ­           Take a step forward
                                                         ­                               Take a step closer
                                                          ­           Take a step with me
                                                 We'll fall a little over
                                   Do not trust me
             I won't trust you
Letting you down
             Is what I can do
                               The more you fall                
                                             The deeper you'll dive
                                                            ­          The more you hurt
                                                            ­                     The slower you'll die
                                                             ­         Maybe you'll end up
                                                Where I already am
                           Walk down the steps                                                       
    ­       If you think you can
A warning's been given
                 No time to dwell
                               Please, welcome to
                                                   The stairs of hell.
Well, here you go. Another piece of my mind. Also, just saying, this is nothing. My brain is much more terrifying than this.
Mar 2019 · 326
A Beach
Ruheen Mar 2019
Like the deep blue waters.
You flooded my heart and mind.
And like sand stuck to me.
You never leave.
Either way,
You surround me.
Could be about a person or something more. Something worse.
Take it how you want it.
Mar 2019 · 109
Opinions...
Ruheen Mar 2019
Well, it looks like my opinion doesn't matter.
Oh, wait. I already knew that.
Because it never does.
*sigh* I hate being around people who debate over stupid things.
More like....
I just hate being around people. Period.
Yeah, that's better.
Mar 2019 · 819
Finally...!
Ruheen Mar 2019
I finally screamed.
I finally cracked.
Am I meant to feel better?
Am I? I thought I was going to feel better. Lighter. Like I wasn't lying to everyone around me about how I felt.
Whatever.
Mar 2019 · 135
A Lie
Ruheen Mar 2019
A lie will never become the truth.
And that is true to some extent.
However, to a person who does not know it is a lie,
For them it is the truth.
And if you believe enough in a lie,
It may start to become a reality.
Not all lies, but some.
Nevertheless, a lie will always remain a lie.
Even if one does not know it.
Something to think about.
See?
This is how good I am at lying.
Mar 2019 · 69
Seems Fair
Ruheen Mar 2019
One's own life devoted to make the lives of many others easier.

One's own happiness sacrificed for the happiness of others.

One's own life sacrificed for the lives of a thousand.

One for a million,

Seems fair.
Seems fair to me.
But is it to you?
These are my thoughts. Now I want yours.
So.
Thoughts?
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