Hope is that lonely star in the darkest night,
The golden *** at the end of the rainbow,
The sentinel whenever the past drags me down,
The invisible thread that connects me to life.
It was there when my dad was lying on the hospital bed,
It lingered when I saw him drew his last breath,
It was there when I knew of my chronic disease,
It was there when I learned that I had reproductive problems,
It accompanied me when I was on the operating table,
It was there when I almost lost my brother from stomach ache,
It embraced my mom as she tearfully praised the Lord,
It wiped away our fears and tears in each challenge.
I should have let go when it seemed distant,
I should have let skepticism and bitterness controlled me,
"But this is just a phase," I always murmured in haze,
Despite all of these setbacks,
As I battle with my own demons - -
When anxiety wants to marry me,
When insecurity wants me to be his mistress,
When physical challenges want to bind me,
When my faculty wants to ******* my soul's core,
When my spiritual tank is as empty as the blackhole,
When everything else fails in this world - -
Even if my own self is my enemy,
Even if the flames of pain devours my spirit,
Even if I have to eat muck to exist,
Even if I have to crawl on my belly,
I will fight just to grasp that light at the end of the tunnel.
by SanshiQuimbo (aka Yawina Rada)
This is written for @WPPoetry's contest.