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Y Rada Nov 2018
I was your admirer during college years
Discretely looking at you limping away
To your classes looking alone and aloof

One afternoon at the canteen, I blocked your path
You blurted something while I stepped back
Your words made me feel giddy and restless!

You graduated first and I grew up also
And I thought I forgot my silly crush on you
Until I saw you limping inside a mall - - -

There were romantic comedy movies in my head
I, the heroine and you the Hero - imperfect pairs
Strangers at the university and ended as one - -

But you had a girl friend, my friends announced
I smiled while looking at you limping away again
My prince was at last taken by someone else - - -

Today I learned from my BFFs that you are gone
An accident yesterday and proclaimed as DOA
You're so young at early 30s and I - - - sigh- - - - -

One of my regrets in life is not telling you about me
That I existed somewhere in your timeline on earth
I wanted to confess and yet was afraid and now this

I admire you secretly and now I cry quietly
Sadly, we only exchanged two words in this lifetime
It was at the canteen when I blocked your path

You said, "Excuse Me!" and I just stood there speechless.
I just learned that my ultimate crush in college died from an accident yesterday. I never expected that I would feel regret for not telling him that I admired him... And I never will... A pity really.
Y Rada Sep 2018
Killed there
Invisible here
Heart beats no more
Yet still feels pain.
Y Rada Jun 2018
Oh behold goddess of depression
Embrace my being in your darkness
Breathe to me your life’s essence
That I may sleep for all eternity…

Guide me to become one with you
Let me be your ****** here on earth
Answer through silence and tears
Oh sweet goddess, hear my pleas!

I prostrate in your holy presence
I curl into a fetal position when sad
Take my heart away from the light
And smother me with your love.

I bathe in the muck of your existence
I eat nothingness but silver droplets
From my eyes, nose, mouth and heart
Take me – take me as your prophetess!
Y Rada Jun 2018
We met that night at a bookstore,
We clicked right there and then
We exchanged kisses and body liquids
And then - -
You ****** me thoroughly on my bed
And I ****** you ******* the floor –
It ended - -
You left the next morning with a note:
“Had a great time with you last night!
Just call me if you need me.
Yours, Melancholy.”
To all melancholics out there.
Y Rada Jun 2018
How utterly unfair for some
Women to have many lovers
And sometimes at the same time
While women like me are placed
On the ******* shelves –
Dusty, dry and lonely.
bitter hahahaha!!!
Y Rada Jun 2018
I courted myself many ******* times
And I rejected myself every time - -
hahaha i'm laughing while writing this..
Y Rada May 2018
You are a friend to other people but are You my friend?
You treat them with special care but do you treat me thus?
You give them all: time, love, effort but why do you give me little?
You say you love me truly or do you really love me?
Or do you love me because you want something from me?

I hear 'Dear Lord', 'Please Lord', 'Help me Lord',
'Forgive me Lord', 'I love you Lord';
And yet in reality - honestly you do not really care...
You call me when you are hurt, discouraged, failed -
Yet you do not think of me when you are happy.

Am I just a Genie or a Santa Claus to you?
Do you even like me -the "me" - the real me?
Or do you come to me because I am very rich?
Do you even believe that I am real and alive?

You cry when your friends hurt you
Yet you never recognized that I dry your tears -
You deny my attempts to bring you closer - -
It's ironic that you say I cannot understand what you feel - -
I created you in my own image, my strength, my love, my emotions, my prayers

When you feel that others do not love you
Remember - you turn away from me many times
And the feeling of unrequited love you have from others?
I oftentimes feel this one way love from you ...
It hurts, isn't it? That you love and they give back a little - - ?

I know the feeling....I do know the feeling...
But I love you even if you are like that...
I made this during the creatives session of Camp Farthest Out - local camp last May 12,2018. I felt that this was God's reply to my questions about unrequited love, friendship, etc. haha
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