have minds like rabbits
and drink black

COFFEE!


[10W]
SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/29/2015

On the hill Golgotha
there, planted, was a tree,
Soaking up a Man's life blood
The blood that made us free.

It was planted by the Man
In the hill, a wooden stake
He had to drag it halfway up
His life it would then take.

A horror to be witnessed
By a roaring crowd
Round "The Skull" they cursed the man
Their hatred was his shroud.

But the man said nothing
Though everything He heard.
He heard all the cursing
But he said not a word.

He laid down his arms and legs
Quietly on the cross
He fully knew all pain He'd feel
Aware of the full cost.

A crown of thorns upon His head
Blood and sweat were in His eyes
He drank vinegar and gall
While he heard the cursing cries.

There were two other men on trees
Who went to die up there
One met the Man in Paradise
The other met despair.

The Man beat Satan on that day
Beat him at his game!
He tore the Veil twixt us and God
Jesus was His name.

Christ died that you and I might live
Yes, He died for you and me!
He laid down his life that day
On "The Skull" and the tree.


SoulSurvivor
Write of Passage
2022

When you are down, and full of fear
There seems to be nobody near
There's no answer when you pray...
Give God a sacrifice of Praise!

Lift your voice and sing a song!
Sing It Loud! Oh, sing it strong!
It's not the meter, nor the phrase,

Give God a sacrifice of praise!

When life is hard, and you are blue,
And you don't know just what to do
Strike Up the Band, you'll be amazed!
Give God a sacrifice of praise!

(Chorus)

Paul and Silas knew the truth
Sang in prison, raised the roof!
Those dungeon walls did surely shake,
And those bars began to break!

Lift your voice and sing a song!
Sing It Loud! Oh sing along!
By God's might those halls were razed...

Because of sacrifice of praise!!!



SoulSurvivor
(C) 4/26/2009

---O---
^^---^^/\^/--^

the winter Sun is birthed
between the knees of the hills
crying and smitten by the morning star

alone, it makes its cold way
through grey skies
an albatross of tarnished silver
bland and unimpressed by the
roiling cloud cover

it will peek its way out at times

traversing the frigid sea of sky
it finally drowns with a whimper in the
maw of the mountains

to be reborn... made glorious summer...
in the Antipodes


SoulSurvivor
(C) 12/5/2015

[12W]

In a disposable society
The first thing thrown away is

The Truth


SoulSurvivor
(C) 5/15/2016

tiny Bird
perches restless
on the
highest branch

flits away

[10W]
Catherine Jarvis

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

THE BILLION YEAR CONTRACT

So I had this boyfriend. I don't really know *why I stayed with him. Except that he was fairly intelligent. He left scientology not longer after I left, I discovered later. But, truth be told, he was NOT attractive to me. He had a lisp. THAT wouldn't have bothered me so much, but he couldn't dance either.... LOL! That was, for some reason, important to me in a man. Always has been. He also had a jaw like a steamshovel and eyes like poached eggs. Oh, well...

Anyway,  he was very excited about a do that was happening up in Phoenix!  There was a brand new ORG!  Scientologese for organization, especially a high echelon one. This Org was the TOP at that time! The Flag Land Base! Located in a once-glamorous resort town, Clearwater, Florida. A place of sugar sand beaches and tropical beauty! There was an Orientation going on, and he wanted me to go with him...

That was the most Fateful night of my life. This FOT (Flag Orientation Tour) was actually a recruitment drive. For the infamous Sea Organization!

When I arrived I was impressed. It was in a conference room at a nice hotel. All the materials they handed me were slickly printed. The only thing that bugged me were the uniforms. The folk not in suit jackets even wore lanyards! That warning sign in my stomach should have told me.... RUN!!! AS FAST AND FAR AS YOU CAN!!! But did I listen? NO! And that was a mistake that cost me 24 precious years of my life. Golden years. Years I could have been in school. College and university. Instead I worked as a peon slave for that CULT. Then 20 years stolen by virulent targeting. TRAGIC!

I stayed. And I was lulled into a false sense of security. The speeches by the various "big-wigs" of FLB didn't start till 9 PM. And lasted till 10:30! Their voices were stern yet sonorous. Hypnotic. They told of the importance and "nobility" of the Sea Org. And the very PINNACLE of importance was the Flag Land Base! in balmy and beautiful Clearwater! Where the BEST and most RESPECTED "auditors" and "trainers" took the adherents of Scientology to the most advanced stage of spiritual growth... OT VIII. SCIENTOLOGY WORKS! YES! YOU, TOO, CAN REACH NIRVANA!

What a bunch of HORSESH-T!!!

Anyway. These guys and gals began to look glamorous to me! With their uniforms and scrambled eggs on their hats...

Then the real kicker. "THEY WERE OUT TO CLEAR THE PLANET. And little miss Cathy Jarvis could be a PART of this Noble Cause. That was it. I bought it. Hook. Line. And SINKER.

Even the hard, pockmarked face of the recruitment officer, nor her beady black eyes, could deter me. I was sleepy by that time, and hardly noticed the Contract I signed was for A BILLION YEARS...

I could LEAVE the "Podunk" town I lived in. Go first to spectacular LOS ANGELES... then to...

*... A NEW LIFE in balmy CLEARWATER FLORIDA!!!

When a friend brings in some food
It's bad, but you can't tell.
You may eat, but don't repeat!

*You'll spend the day UNWELL!

---

I've taken down a write I liked
I put troll heads upon a spike.

But rather than highlight these guys
I've decided that's not wise!

We think we HELP the trollish prey
While we scare new folks away

I just had a conversation
With one of my favorite relations

My bro in law is expert
In handling the ones who hurt

He works as a computer ****
And here's the advice that he gives

When in doubt, remember, souls,
They love the light...
DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!!!


SoulSurvivor
(C) 8/16/2015

---

a searing jolt
inside my heart

it was as a rose you
could not resist entering
an errant bee you
flew in

and you kissed
but it was as
a sting

you lost that stinger
in my breast my
love and

i have sent you away

a bee can only sting
once before

it

dies



soulsurvivor
(C) 7/29/2015

Stars out in their billions
Above a living sea
Seagulls sleep on beaches
The wind blows to the lea
Old Mexico is haunting
A place of History
To these graceful sandy shores
You invited me
Your residence so gracious
Where I could be free.

I picture Starry Starry Night
Swirling colors, yellow, cream
Italian Cypress blowing
The deepest darkest green
Vincent must have such a Muse
What would he have seen?
If he came to Mexico
To stars like in a dream?

We exist neith different Skies
In these shells of flesh & bone
But we both seek the same prize
We are NOT alone
I would give all that I have
To soothe your road of stones
Yes, I'd give all that I have
I'd give all that I own
To give you all these billion stars

And a place you could call HOME.


Catherine Jarvis
11/19/2018

The story Clinton Jarvis - my father.

Isle La Motte Roots

There's a place of quiet peace
In beautiful Vermont
It is filled with history
It beckons you, and haunts
In pacific Lake Champlain
It's called Isle La Motte

The lake is long and narrow
A lovely gem-like blue
The Island lies within its shores
It is a jewel, too.
Emerald in the summer
In fall a topaz hue

Old style houses charm us
With plain stone quarry frames
There are many maple trees
In fall these become flame
Churches with tall steeples
All barns look much the same.

From Blanchard's Point to The Head
North to south we go
Clark's & Reynolds to Fisk & Scott's
These east/west points we know
From The Lighthouse & Fort Stann
To the marble quarries low.

It seems the rock on Isle La Motte
Was formed from glacial ice
Which pressed the clay beneath it
As if it were a vice
The marble from the quarries
Is especially nice!

Samuel Fisk founded some of these
Marble blue, black, and grey
Many used the sturdy stones
Solid houses in the way
They can be found everywhere
And still stand to this day.

There was an ingenious sawmill
Powered by a boat!
A large and hearty steamer
By The Dock would float
The "Utica" by name
As sawmill founders wrote.

The taverns and inns
Had distinctive place
It would be so heartening
To see a merry face
There the weary travellers
Could find warmth and grace.

Famous for its apples
There are many orchards found
John Bowman & William Yale
Planted in the ground
My father was one who picked from them
Folks came from miles around.

The Fleury Store had merchandise
Sold to people from their stock
Carson's Store and Naylor's
Store to store the folks would walk
Often a place of meeting
Where people stood to talk.

Elizabeth Fisk. Creative.
She had looms, and linen wrought
This fabric so very fine
Much of it was bought
There were also boats and ferries
On an island... used *a lot!

Nelson Fisk secured the Post Office
James Ritchie built in stone
His relation, Cynthia
Maintained the library alone
Succeeded by M. LaBombard
For faithfulness much known.

Both Methodist and Catholic
Worship the Divine
The faithful go to churches
No matter what the clime
A place of fame on Isle La Motte
Is lovely St Anne's Shrine.

The original schools on Isle La Motte
We're founded by strong men
Independent. Intelligent.
Created they back then.
Back in 1782 they had discerning ken.

The school my father went to
Only had one room.
He graduated the 8th grade
For his future groomed
But went to High School elsewhere
Back then quite a boon!

The Jarvis' were tennent farmers
Not much to be made
But the beauty of the place
Embraced them in its shade
T'was in this environment
Where young Clinton played.

Amongst the leaves - jade and fire
Honey'd amber caught
He found a love of nature
He was reared and taught
Here his story started

A place called Isle La Motte.


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C)1/11/2017

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

BACKGROUND

I was born Catherine Eugenia Jarvis,  and I was a *horrible child. The kinda kid that you'd LOOK for if she got lost... but NOT very hard. I was the sandwich child. The red headed one. The BAD girl. A terrible tease.

But inside I SO longed to be loved. There just wasn't alot of that to go 'round. Mom was working or sick. And dad worked LONG hours. My sister and I were ***** at age 4 & 3 respectively. She felt guilty she couldn't "protect" me, so she withdrew. Then my little brother was born. He was my sister's little doll. And it wounded me so that I lashed out. I targeted my poor little brother. I called him names, names that I knew went straight to his HEART. I'm weeping now. How I wish I could change the past! Dear reader, I have a samurai tongue. And I knew how to cut where it would hurt the MOST. A fact I'm not at all proud of! But, it happened. I was also mean to my pets. But inside i wept SO bitterly! I did not want to do what I did! But SOMETHING compelled me...

Then at the age of 13 I began to drink. I started using "white crosses". ***. By 14 I was using LSD. ***. Peyote. I was SO out of control!  My poor parents despaired...

Then... a MIRACLE! My parents put me in college when I was 16. I hated high school with a PASSION. I didn't fit in anywhere. Not even with the stoners. I was kicked out of my 10th year for ditching and possession of marijuana. My vice-principle told me I'd always be a LOSER. That I'd never accomplish anything in life. Nice. He put me in Juvie. My parents got a psychologist. He said I was bored in high school because I was too smart. So they put me in college. I THRIVED! I still ditched a bit, but I could take ART CLASSES! And WRITING! POETRY! And MUSIC! And the people were SO different! They LIKED ME! Well. Part of THAT was because I lost weight. About 50 lbs! I was actually pretty. For the first time in my life. And to say THAT was confusing wouldn't be nearly enough.

At any rate, I'd CHANGED. I became very spiritual. I read about Transcendental Meditation. I read the book "Siddhartha". I dabbled in the Self Realization Fellowship.
And, finally, I joined the

"Church" of Scientology.

THE WORST MISTAKE OF MY YOUNG LIFE

I was 19 years old.

---/♡\---/♡\---

I reposted this poem for
I feel it is important you
read it. I'm sure sorry that
I can't read right now.
My mom is recovering from
a serious illness.  Read at least
the footnotes. Thanks!


I am a follower of
The Lord Jesus Christ.
He teaches me
To embrace the strife
In this place
Of trial and pain
To learn to bear
The extreme strain
He had hardship
Here on earth
He showed folk their
Inner worth
With humility and grace
He bore all and ran His race
He prayed the Father
Up above
Would lead His children
To learn LOVE
Putting pride upon the shelf
To love your neighbor
As YOURSELF
And I honestly believe
'Tis better to give
Than to receive

In these tenants I am free
I'll walk the walk

ETERNALLY


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) 8/8/2015

!!¡¡!!¡¡!!¡¡!!¡¡!!¡¡

Extemporanious
Off the cuff
We are freestyle
Can't get enough!

Write on!
Write on!
Throw away the notes!
Quit all the rewrites...
The headaches! The quotes!

Write on!
Write on!
Scribble a few lines
Essentially we're NEVER happy
With what grows from the vine...

Just put pen to paper
Let the ink be
Then make a paper airplane...

... let fly POETRY!!!

SoulSurvivor

People don't smoke.
The cigarette smokes.
People are the suckers.

10W
Soul Survivor

Lament of the common man

While you're out there buying...
... trying... dying...

They will keep you going...
... toeing ... owing...

Got to get the good stuff...
... it's tough... no bluff...

Got to get the good deal...
... rob... steal... big wheel...

Got to chase the fast buck...
... good luck... you're stuck...

Now you're in the rat race...
... fast paced... two faced...

Do you have a free will?
... high bills... cheap thrills...

When will life be easy?
... breezy... so free...

Then you find out too late...

... oh great...

...that's fate.**


SoulSurvivor
(C) 3/24/2009
Rewritten
(C) 2/20/2015

!!¡¡!!¡¡!!¡¡!!¡¡!!



C'mon baby, don't be shy!
Oh, how fast the time goes by!
Don't come up for air to even sigh!
Don't argue it, don't question why
It feels good, and that's no lie!
We feel like our hearts can fly!
I'm your girl, and you're my guy
The passion's there, my oh MY!
We're so lit up we could cry!
Together we could touch the SKY!
Yeah, kissing is a contact high!


Watch those hands tho...
don't you TRY... O:-)


SoulSurvivor
(C) 8/5/2015

My face is full of laughter
My eyes are dried of tears
But there's fine print
You must read
Burned there from
All the years.

My cheeks are red & rosey
My lips turned up in smiles
But there are lines
Of grief and pain
From walking many miles.

Please take me at face value
For I laugh... I'm laughing still!
But I've endured
Much hardship
For it was God's will.

But if I had not suffered
This peace I'd not enjoy
If I had not known sorrow
I would not fathom Joy!

See the fine print on my face
Those lines that I do wear
Read wisdom in
My countenance
Yes, it is written there.

To every man or woman
Who have known this part
You may have lines
Upon your face

But beauty's in your heart!


SøułSurvivør
4/20/2018

I believe my account has been

HACKED.

I am not computer literate
so will need help setting up a new
Email and account.

Please disregard any posting
or communication from
SoulSurvivor until further notice.

*Thanks.

"Learn to write by doing it.
Read widely and wisely.
Increase your word power.
Find your own individual voice
through practicing constantly.
Go through the world with your
eyes and ears open and learn to
express that experience in words."

PD James (1920-2014)


I took a little trip
To the Isle of Write
There to find
My muse
My light...

I went to a wise man
On a Himalayan hill
For to find
A poem to quill...

I went right
I went left
But the write
Was still bereft...

I went here
I went there
Couldn't find help
Anywhere...

So I sat down
Pen in hand
And thought about
Those foreign lands.

To describe them
I painted with ink
It was hard
But made me think...

Hardly did a day go by
When in frustration
I did not cry...

But at last
The words took flight
I told tales
Of sadness. Fright...

The pen took on
A life of its own
The lines like scalpels
To the bone...

No more struggle
No more strain
I had the write stuff
In my brain...

Now the page
And pen don't thwart...

... the poetry is in my heart!

We are all just sliding down
The hill on icey snow
We have really no idea
Which way life will go

We're sitting on a hubcap
A toboggan we can't steer
There's no way to then avoid
The obstacles we fear

We may have a super job
Have a comfortable home
But we could lose that good career
Then we're all alone

No house. No wife. No children.
No way to make a living
Looking at a homeless state
In search of someone giving

We could be in perfect health
Yet slip and have a fall
Be in the wrong vehicle
We could lose it all

We're on a slippery *****
That toboggan goes so fast
We may have many blessings
But how long will they last?

When we have the good in life
Our prayers we may not raise
When there's strife and things go wrong
We forget to give Him praise!

Remember Jesus suffering
Remember His great gift
He gave us Redemption
Our burdens He can lift!

Prayer is the answer
When things are going well
And praising His goodness
Even through life's hell

He has all the Power
He has all the Might
He can keep you safe!
He can make things right!

You are on that hubcap
Slipping like the breeze
But you can jump the rocks
And avoid those big ol' trees!

So give Him all of what He's due
He has the strength of Will
You are then connected

To the maker of the hill.


SoulSurvivor
(C) 5/29/2016

I was a preemie.
Fate tried to **** me
Before I was born.
My poor beleaguered mom
Fell off a chair while pregnant
With me... thus did I come
Into the world.
Beat up from the feet up
And lookin' like a prune...

My childhood was horrific.
I have huge holes in memory.
I can only tell you I was
Starved of love and terribly
Neglected. Mercifully
I don't recall the molestation
And assault I know I endured.
It wasn't my parent's fault.
My father worked 16 hour days
And mom had blinding migraines.
And undiagnosed behavioral
Health problems. She is bi-polar.
But what I remember most vividly
Are the trips to visit my mother's
Sister and her family.
In the Sangre De Cristo
Mountains of New Mexico
Up above Taos.
My mind touched furred mountains
And inhaled the aromas
Of sounds... aspen's disc leaves
Sibilantly soughing
And the Red River flowing
Through resplendent green.
Indian paintbrush and columbine
Sparking on the verges of roads
And nodding their soft blue heads
Respectively.
Once we took a hike to
Horseshoe lake, and
Caught flashing trout,
Their scales making rainbows
To grace their silver sides.
We ate well that night!
On the way home it rained.
A cold, piercing downpour
That soaked our clothes.
All the other kids cried.
But not me.
I was in fairyland.
Coming from the
Sonoran desert I've always
Loved the rain...

The rest of my life I fared
Little better as far as fate
Meted me out a VERY tough
Hand. But I remember
The long hikes on Venice Beach
boardwalk... I walked 8-10 miles
A day. And lost a total of 138 lbs.

I've had to fight like Muhammad Ali
For every square inch of joy.

But I still float like a butterfly...
... and I really try to put a cap
On my stinger. I have one.
But I want to go through this life
As wise as a serpent... gentle as a dove.

Because now I know that
all I've gone through
Had a definite purpose.
I'm a Blues Brother's sister...

... on a mission from God.

But it's never about ME.
IT'S ABOUT

H I M.


SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 16, 2014

They say there is a rainbow
For every blessing found
For every graceful
rose in bloom
For each
melodious sound!

For every child playing
For every bird on wing
For every fresh baked
apple pie
For every choir that sings!

Purple velvet pansies
Indigo for pearls
Blue for fuzzy violets
Green for our
great world
Yellow for a
flower in bloom
Orange sunsets call
Red for rosy apples
Good for one and all!

But what makes
us so joyous
Once new lives
have begun
Is hope they'll
be Believers
That the victory
will be won!

Knowing that they'll
have a chance
For heaven
round the bend
For them they will
be doubly bless'd

WORLD WITHOUT END.


SøułSurvivør
(C) 1/8/2018

Do I look together?
The picture of finesse?
I'm just a fleck of nothing.
A flit of consciousness.

I'm not all that wise
Tho I like to kid myself
I'm a bozo on the bus
Like everybody else.

Can I say that I am weak?
Hurting? Often wrong?
If I didn't have The Lord,
You know I'm not that strong.

I'm in system overload
And I'm kept awake
My life is a disaster
My sanity's at stake!

I want you all to like me
I people please, you see.
I find it very hard at times
To exhale and just be me!

Yes. Right now I'm holding breath!
I can't even wheeze,
Because I fear your judgement
I can't find release!

But I guess the truth
Is sometimes hard to find
So I'll just muddle on right here
Speechless deaf and blind

Can you all relate to this?
I tell you it's true
I'm hanging on by cobwebs...

... maybe JUST LIKE YOU.


/:-(   Catherine

(acrostic)


Mature caring
Overcomes childhood
Trials and all the
Hurt later in life.
Eternal love and
Respect for that very
Special person...

*...MOM!!!

Surfeit with darkness
Clouds are sponges
Soaking up the
Night

[10W]
Catherine Jarvis
(C) 1/17/2020

~~~



A human heart is not
Something to blow your
Nose on and discard.

But, then, we have become
a throw-away "society".


(C) SoulSurvivor

Of chancellery
Egyptian charm
Rosetta stone
Within his arms
He never thought
He'd do her harm
He kept her safe
His special cairn.

Upon his altar she was set
Phylactery, his amulet
Tears of gratitude he wept
For such a prize
As what he kept

But though she had
The center stage
All the time
She fumed with rage
He was a fool
She was a sage
So he kept her
In a cage.

Then one day
Whilst fool was sleeping
At her feet while
She was weeping
She spied a weapon
He was keeping
He had sowed...
... now he was reaping!

A candlestick
Of leaded weight
She reached out
Of the cage's gate
Though she was
In prisoner's state
She knocked it off
And sealed his fate!

This was not wisdom
To break his bone.
For she was then
Quite well alone
Yes... she'd put him
In his tomb
But, caged, she had then

Sealed her own
.