He is afraid of his future
Unsure what path to walk
Upon his tightrope of pressure
He walks without a safety net

If he looks down he falls
If he looks up he becomes dizzy
His only option is to look straight ahead
Eventually he will reach the other side to safety

But it isn’t about the start or the end
It is about the journey and the adventure in between
It will work itself out
If he keeps a level head and his balance is set

He will see his future fall in place before it's met
And kiss the thin rope he had tread
As it took him on the path that showed to him
The meaning of destiny, fate, and chance

I said that I'd been listening to Muse a lot lately
And you of course asked my favorite song
And like the universe's cruel humor, yours was the same
And now, it will never be the same
That song will always be your favorite when I play it
When I hear it, it will always remind me of you

And I'll think about you listening to it
And wonder if it makes your heart shake like mine
If you feel it explode through your soul
If it reminds you of me

And isn't that funny?
Isn't it just so cruel?
The way I can just feel
That our time is truly
Running out

You saw them suffering everyday as you passed by
So somedays you threw money in their little tin can
But their pain lies far beneath the surface
Homelessness is an illness that costs more than pocket change to cure
Starvation and injustice can't be paid with a full tin can
Their lifestyles cant be changed with ten thousand cans of change

Sometimes sweet things are better left a memory
Trying to turn back time
Trying to make things right
Sometimes only leaves a sour taste behind

Sometimes we don't need closure, we need the mystery

Sometimes I wish I was like other girls
That I was able to do hair and makeup
That I could understand shoes and acrylics
Instead I read, write, and learn
I can write poetry and short stories
I can understand foreign languages and cultures
Still I feel like I am lacking
Something I was born to know
I'm a girl
So why don't those girlish things
Come to me as easy as breathing
Other girls learn them like its riding a bike
To me it's like trying to solve an algebraic equation
And its well known I hate math
It's simply a language I do not speak

I often ask myself why I spend so much time learning another language
Why do I obsess and stress over something by my own will?
What do I have to gain, why do I want to teach and translate this foreign tongue?

Yet every night I force new words into my mind
And it makes me feel so calm and distracted
All my fears and concerns fade away as I take this information into my brain
I see nothing but beauty in every character I write so much so that I often write in the wrong alphabet
To me it's the most perfect and beautiful script
It's like riding a bike for the first time everytime I translate in my mind
The culture and language has found its way into my heart

I've fallen in love with the language like you do a person
Slowly, then all at once
Without understanding at first but slowly uncoiling the wonderful beauty before my eyes
I've found my passion and my saviour all at once
There is power in words which spawn from language
Every new term I learn makes me feel just that much stronger
Enough to feel invincible

I wonder what it would be like
To be loved by a poet
To fill books with words about each other
Like Lang Leav and Michael Faudet
To exchange letters in passing
To wake up to poetry on my nightstand
To give my writing to someone
Who understands how profound the gesture
And what it truly means
To be able to read the transcript of my heartbeat

I want to know what awaits for me beyond today
I want to see into tomorrow before the sun returns
I need to find the sunshine living in the living
I need to feel tomorrow in today

My poems of love are empty I feel
Because I haven't met someone to fill them
So to whomever may be in my future
Though they aren't about you now, they will be
I desperately desire a day when my poetry feels real
And no longer appear as letters dressed up to look pretty
One day I hope they are filled with something warm
As if my love for you will flow through them like veins
And jump-start the heart of all my passion stored and saved for you

One day this world will shake and fall apart
All the volcanoes will eurupt
The waterfalls will flow backwards
All the flowers will wither and die
Ashamed of their petals
Out of jealousy everything will combust
Until all thats left is you and I

For nothing in this world holds a feather to you

I say that being your friend
Is my favorite sacrifice
But the torch I carry
Is a flame that burns like no other
Maybe if I stay close to this fire
One day I'll no longer be able to blister

Who cares about empty spaces and long silences
When you fill up everything?
You make me complete
Completely Full

You take up all the space
Between Lonely and Me
You fill the void
With Laughter and Life

I've been played in love
Life makes it seem like a game
Where love is just playing pretend
I won't act like I don't know
All of the things he says about me

He took my heart in his hands
He looked at me like I was a new toy on Christmas morning
Like a child he played with me until a newer version came along
Now I'm no longer his favorite toy, just another lost thing
Thrown to the bottom of a drawer or into the back of his closet

Maybe one day someone will find me
Remind me
Why I was so much fun to play with in the first place
Even if it's just to play pretend
I hope he'll think of me in the end

Use me
Play me
Break me
Tear me
Lose me

Im your toy
So I don't mind

Burn me
Drown me
Rip me
Throw me
Manipulate me

I'm just a toy
So I can't cry

Cradle me
Kiss me
Treasure me
Talk to me
Love me

You own me, I'll always obey
I am your toy
Just never give me away

When you bought me flowers
every petal felt like a debt,
a heavy weight in a fragile vase.

Sunflowers, because they were yellow
I said they were my favorite like the color—
perhaps just to comply, to appease.

But truly, I like roses
in all their simplicity,
no hidden promises.

Will a bouquet ever feel the same
or are all flowers
just silent obligations?

I shy from kindness offered too quickly
wondering what it's meant to buy.

I'm like the root of a tree,
all my strength hides beneath the surface
while all my weaknesses are exposed to every season
trembling in winter, blooming in spring
burning in summer, changing in autumn
but my roots stay strong and grounded
they hold all my passion, all my determination

So long as my roots stay strong, all my leaves can burn
I'll allow my bark to be torn apart, carved into
If it makes you happy
but I will continue to grow, to change
because my roots stretch far and deep
I will bend and break, but I will grow back
much greener and with more passion than before

You can destroy me on the surface,
but deep inside the earth's protective embrace
you can't harm me

I hear that love is the strongest blade
With the kind of strength that cuts through all that's wrong
And builds whole kingdoms from the rubble
But every day through lover's eyes
I watch it defile all perfection
And empires fall with every deception
All the dishonesty that is unburied
Teaches lessons you ought to learn before you're married
Hold yourself and don't look up
Eyes that search will surely find
Perfect love that masquerades with devil's at night
I find that within this life there are no gallant knights
True love never satisfies
A hungry heart that feeds off lies

I have never known more fear than I have felt on a roller-coaster
The fear of being up so high and the possibility of crashing down

If this is what love is like then I don't know if I want it

I keep my love for you
under the roses
with eternal petals
in full bloom

The thorns I keep
inside my mind
so I think of you
from time to time

You taught me to smile at the world that let us down
And I don't know why, but when it came from you
I love you felt like a promise
And in your smile I saw a forever I thought could last
Maybe I was wrong for believing in a love so strong
Maybe the times weren't right, maybe the stars weren't aligned

To hell with fate I say, for leading love astray
I saw all I ever wanted in you
Maybe you were just lonely, and maybe I was too
I guess I gave you more love than you could ever return
But if I love you was a lie then I wish you'd have never told the truth

Please tell me it wasn't just because I was there
Tell me that you really cared, that I mattered to you
Tell me my love was one you didn't want to lose
Just don't tell me a lie, you know that isn't fair
I loved you like the earth loves the rain
You gave me love and helped me grow
But you taught me pain

It was a hurt I'd never known
It was holding the world in my hands and having to let it go
Like holding the key to paradise and dropping it down the drain
No, I'd never felt such pain like I did when your love went away
And I had to leave behind the love I needed the most

Your lips may have grazed
But your hearts never touched

He means the world to me
But nothing to himself
He is everything to me
How can I make him see?

That he has golden ichor in his veins
His heart beats a mythic tune
When he speaks my world comes undone
A siren sound that lures me close
With his eyes of Smokey Quartz
And the ambrosia on his tongue

Flowers wilt and rot
Yet every season he remains
He’s a treasure that can’t be hidden away
He is priceless in my eyes,
I’ll bleed the world till it sees

An idea I don't have time to write
For thoughts I don't have time to think

Nothing scared me more
Than fearing I could no longer write
I loved you so much
That as you left my life, my heart and mind
You nearly took my words as you went

Abusing his kindness
Is like giving a child a kite
Then cutting the string

One day I'll teach the world how to treat him right
But today I'll teach him how to treat himself

To fight as enemy to thy current
Is but to strive in vain
A heart that beats is simply such
Thy thunder scarce is an echo for me, he, or she
Ahwær thy heart may flee
Will it be me, loves hearth shall I be

Sometimes as writers I feel we are just spilling nonsense into the world hoping that someone will make sense of it

They brush their fingers across the chicken flesh of our skin
Leaving their static electricity behind

They caress our insecurities
With words of possibility

They hold our doubt
And replace it with support

I'm afraid that one day
You'll realize my feelings
And there will be no turning back
I'm even more afraid
That you'll realize
You feel the same

I see the world in different shades of him
I try to keep my eyes closed, pretend not to see
I deny and deny and refuse to feel
Because he is too important to lose to love
So I will suffer until I learn to let him go
Or perhaps one day I'll cave and finally let him in

Because he is everything I have ever wanted
And everything that I never want to lose

I'm so tired but all I want to do
Is write about someone I wish I knew

In the radiant sun I am exposed to all
In the sunlights embrace I become vulnerable
At night I am protected by all the stars
Veiled under starlight I become something new

Insecurity is brushed away
Pulled back into the shores of my ocean of emotions
A wave of confidence crashes against
And floods my world of anxiety

Under the starlight I transform
I am no longer coward to the eyes of others
I am simply me
A girl surrounded in stars

When I let you go
It felt like a hurricane trailed through my body
As if my heart had a cave-in

You said you were glad I was being mature about it
I know you were thankful for the sacrifice
And I know you needed time to fix your health

But I wasn't mature at all
Behind the apathy and silence
Behind the sweetness and indifference
I was watching acres of flowers wilt before me

All I could do was watch our garden die
Even though you never sprayed any pesticide
And there was no lack of water
No lack of sunshine or warmth
There was nothing wrong-
It was only the remnants of shattered hope that poisoned the soil and rotted the roots

Everytime they told me I wasn't enough
I believed them
But now I'm full of all the things they wish they could tease
I have gold running through my veins and passion on my tongue

Words no longer cut me

"You've stepped in ****"
              
              "Oh I know, but he's gone now"

You held my hand today
I'll spend the rest of the week
Thinking of everything it could mean

I thought I stopped feeling
Really, I just started healing

I'm a diamond, I don't need your permission to shine

That's not who I am anymore
That quiet day girl doesn't exist
I forgot she ever did at all
But she changes everything

I was more than blind
More than a little unkind
I was an eclipse that shattered the sunshine
And while that version of me is gone
All her scars still remain

Run from me and never look back
And I pray no one else ever hurts you like that

My sorry's aren't enough, not to me
I wanted to fill the broken cracks with gold
But I was the one who put them there
Quiet day girl may be gone
But I'll never forget that she was there

Quiet day girl should have changed sooner
She should have changed for you

How many?
How many holidays are to be taken away?
Valentines day was once Lupercalia
A day to celebrate fertility in honor
Of the Roman Gods
Now it's looked down on
Called a consumer's holiday; A day of romance
Either loved or hated; stolen nonetheless

When I am asked how I feel about Valentine's day
I look at Christmas; Yule and Saturnalia
Easter; Ostara
And who knows how many others
If you are going to steal a holiday,
At least don't make it on the same day

It makes me think
Why am I forced to hide
On these oppressive days?
My religion has been demonized
Stolen from and misrepresented for so many years
Suffered in witch trials, burned and drowned
If we have done so much wrong
Then why are you stealing our sacred days?
Giving them new names, copying the rest

Our symbols, our holidays, our spells
All stolen
The cross, Valentine's day, a prayer

When I think about Valentine's day
I think about how much has been taken from me
And how much it hurts to hide
In the shadows of a vilified faith
'Do what you will so long
As you harm no other'

Our kindness has been trampled on
By the 'generous' faiths
With their arms outstretched
To ruin and take
Rather than forgive and accept
Forced into the shadows
To practice my religion
Wearing my symbols
Like chains of shame
Looking at my holidays
In envy and with heavy heart
Happy Valentine's.

Vampire kisses around my neck
Better than any jewel, brighter than any fire
Shades of purple, red and blue
Fading to yellow, greens and ***** dreams
Vampire kisses I wear like a necklace
Fingers trace them and I feel your lips
Evidence that they were here and there
A shame to hide something I hold so dear
Vampire kisses from my favorite ****** bat
I wear his love bites like an accessory

Every time she closes her eyes she conjures him up in her mind
They open only to become clouded by the tears he causes to erupt
From behind those slender doors she thought had long since shut
As he turns the lock and all her walls come tumbling once again
She’s exposed to the vicious beast that love has taken the form of

What can she do to pry her mind away from he whom she longs for?
Where can she store her thoughts so they won’t taunt her relentlessly?
How can she deny what is right before her and singing in her heart?
Out of fear she shuts her eyes to make him disappear forgetting
He is not simply some material being to wish away, he is in everything

He is the beating in her head and the throbbing in her heart
He is in every breath she holds, every sigh she releases
He is in every sunset, smile, and feeling of warmth
He’s torture upon her everyday life as he stabs her day and night
As if he has no choice but to jab her with every what if and if only

It is a violent sort of passion, one that can only be seen briefly
Through the eyes of a passerby it tricks them like a glimmer of innocence
Yet behind that innocence is a fiery sin coated in lust and longing
How much of that sin can she hold before it tears a hole into her soul
One that can no longer be repaired by the illusion of  redamancy?

Why did it take us a year to fall apart?
Did we ever fall in love in the first place,
Or did we meet each other just to replace
A lonely void we dreamt to erase?

Had I known you were that sort,
I'd never have let you hold my hand.
I'd never have let you make me smile.
I'd have never allowed you into my heart, into my mind.

Had I known you'd laugh and lie
With the same lips that used to kiss mine,
I'd have never let you near
To all those things that I held dear.

I want to shout into the emptiness
So that I can fill it with something
That defies its quiet chaos

If I act as if the world is ending tomorrow it may as well end today
A stress filled day prepares me for a stress filled future
I will be my own undoing as I continue to pull my own strings
And cut the cords between working hard and working well
As they mold together and I no longer know the difference
I forget that tomorrow is not today as both become one and the same

Falling in love with someone is just as painful as falling out of love
It all depends on the height and extent of the love

Either way you're going to get hurt