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why do I feel like I have to remind you to love me?
what will it take this time?
repeated calls?
a double text?
and you remember that I exist
when I wait
eagerly for you to so much as look at me
what do I have to do
for you to be as invested as I am
to have a single thought of me
sometimes it feels like
your love is just a tiny candle flame
in the light of my heart's sun
my love swallows me whole
but to you,
I feel that
I am just an afterthought
I feel like
A novelty
A trinket
and yet I love you so much
it hurts
My throat burns
and I feel pathetic
Vibrating vocal cords
frayed from sound
It feels like
nothing I do
will ever
drown you out
No matter
how hard I try
It all
I hate you, for what you did,
and I miss you like a little kid.
The more I think about it the more it hurts
the twisting and warping of someone else words
no wait, you're too young
but pay your bills, work all night
and I DECIDE whether you are right
go to work, go to bed
listen to me, you're not an ADULT yet,

I was an adult when I was 12
I talked like you, I dressed like you
hoping to make you proud
I was good, never made a mistake,
worked hard, had no breaks
and still, you tell me to change
change and change and change
be happy, be young
but don't go outside
don't make friends
work hard until you eventually die
trapped in a self-made prison your whole **** life

there was no coming of age or birthdays
only disappointed looks and dismay
I will never get those years back
to just be a kid
and be happy

Time flies when you're having fun
so, time only flies when you're young.
What do I have to do to be happy again?
the absence
of a photograph
a hole the shade of skin
a family all smiles
but one does not fit in
a paper tear,
a paper teardrop
stains the film
something gone
that should be
someone missing
that shouldn't be?
a ripped reality
peering through the tinted glass
for something you can't see
a blurry fragment
of both
one of my drafts! it's been awhile huh :)
      ·  ˚
  ·    ·  ·      ·  +
   *  ·   ·     she is sea and sand .
fire and wind   ·  ˚
  ·    ·  ·      ·  +·   ·   
   ·    ✵     
   · ⋆   she is not yours
                                and you are not hers
   ·  ⋆  
   · ⋆   *            .   ⊹              ˚  ·
*       ·     ..                         .   *
.    .     *  ·
she is hope and fear
                          miracle and misfortune
·     +  ˚ ·      ˚
       ˚    ·     
.   .        . ⊹    
  . * .    ⋆  ·   she is not yours .      . 
·     +  ˚ ·            lest she mold to your image
* .  .   ·    
   *         .   ⊹
   ·           ·
she is clay and earth
                        and she is her own * .
 *     .   ·    .  *         .   ⊹
   ·    *              
        ⊹     ·
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