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Armand-DeamoJC Jul 2018
I follow these words that I write
But now I know that things are not right
Her words made me smile so bright
And inside me she lit a light
Since that day I'm too weak and tired to fight
For inside me I've lost all might
But holding her now, would be such a delight
Though hurting her again is my biggest fright
Now I'm saying goodbye instead of goodnight
You only smiled and turned out that same light
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
Draggéd into this hole
That temporarily makes
All the empty whole
Celebrating without cakes
Alone in drunken sorrow
Who's tears may I borrow?

Someday far away
Before I'm old and grey
I'll be alright again
For seeing you means less pain
Happy birthday 'ole friend
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
I thought of it again
and it seemed slightly
sweet and what a bright
withered memory it left
Some parts of me want it
Something inside me is
aching to go back there
Bothering me to find
the right people and
find my way back in
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2018
I dreamed to use the talent of both my hands
You beat the idea down
Lying to my face
Breaking my biggest dream

I dreamed to use the talent of my hands and feet
You beat the idea right back down
Lying to yourself
Breaking my final dream
Goodbye dreams, goodbye trust, goodbye myself.
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
Nightmares are beautiful
a daily damaged dream
with no single clock
yet feeling time ending
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2020
I used to be adored
Now I am abhorred
A lot of people used to like my character and want me around, because to be honest I was an addict and a party animal. Nowadays I stay at home or chill with friends and smoke some ****, but now I'm suddenly hated. Doesn't really bother me, but sometimes it bothers me how quickly others show their true colours
Armand-DeamoJC Jan 2019
Did you ever truly love me?
You sure as hell don't anymore
But I still do, and I always will
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
Darling what your words have claimed, is true. I have grown an affintity for you, and, but a mere fatuation would undermine my emotions for you. You could be as poor as the dictionary can describe it, but I would have no dispute with breaking bread on a futon in a one bedroom apartment, for my darling I would have you to share it with. I cannot explain in any way or word what linkage I feel towards you and what imminent, unborn quandry, disagreements or dilemas we might face. I'll be over and above to put those problems to their knees, shut them down and subjugate them. Eye, there will be exceptional recherche, eye there will be dissatisfactory and atrocious, but I vow to never slant in our interconnection. I'll stand by you during quandry and I'll stand by you in a war, because not only my heart that loves you so dearly, my soul has grown quite fond towards you, that never before have. And in all verity, I have gone far more than fall in love. I vow to preserve and protect thee love.
Better left alone
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2018
There's the boy she never noticed
There's the boy keeping it in
There's the boy trying
There's the boy lying
There's the boy crying
There's the boy
Behind the mask
Broken at last
Extremely ashamed
And vividly tamed
Behind that mask,
Is a killer;
A breeding psychopath
Behind that mask
You look at
Into the mirror
Credits to a guy who recently liked a poem of mine
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2018
Here I lay in my comfort composure
Listening to every rythm of my music
Removing my white earphone to listen
To listen to the beauty of nature raining
Picturing myself as a randrop falling; free
Picturing the placid movement of water
Moving as one, cold breeze and falling with heavy gravitational pull
Thinking back to when I'd lay in
comfort
Listening to every perfect beat of your heart
Concentrating on the whispers of your spirit
Being attentive to your chords as you release them
Piercing my mind, quaking
through my flesh
To simply un-wither that was even desintegrated
Your love circulating my veins
Simply
By speaking
Rippling accross my seams
Bolting through my body more
than any drug ever
Hanging me on your hook
Touring to the meadow in my
dreams
Conquering the battles in my
nightmares
Re-writing the words on my page
that is life
Then
After enough re-painting
Of my story
You started to un-write my book
Crossing the hearts
Tearing the written pages
Oh how I could only stand and
stare
Oh how all you did, difficultly
Glare
The whispers your soul gave
withered
Cleared and filléd my mind
vacant
Was I abandoned by your heart
So easily the welcoming door
Became an unbidden command
requested
This hour
Is when I play it back;
Remenisce about it
Laying alone, in discomfort
Listening to no beats
Not even one of my own
Then I close my eyes violently
Shoving back the emotion
To silently replay those words
I love you
Always
Crashing down
Bolting tar through my body
Poisoning my mind
Rippling through my veins
That same poison
Is what I use
To **** inside me
What demons creep
See the story has a twist
What I feared most
What demons I feared even more
Is exactly what I became
The poison inside me
Crisply ogling at me
Inside the cage
Compresséd
Inside what
We call a
Mirror
A very long poem yes I know, if you read this far thank you. It's 03:26 and I just think back to the best days of my life
Armand-DeamoJC May 2018
She said he's okay, but when they kissed...
He thought of her
She said he's handsome...
But the only person that knew his scars were her
She said she loved him, but he said nothing back, because he knew that if he would, it would be for her
He smiled, because he had not shed a single tear since he lost her
He smiled, because he couldn't give in, and he drank to numb it all
If only she were her
Armand-DeamoJC May 2018
I dreamt of reaching the mountains so far away and
I dreamt of reaching the clouds so high up
I grieved a loss those times

Today the mountains are near
Tomorrow the clouds are clear
And the pain that felt like yesterday, was months away
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2018
What would be my fixation
It never worked, feeling sensation
It only filled me with frustration
leaving me with temptation

Breaking my concentration
Simply by losing my validation
Armand-DeamoJC Mar 2019
Three years ago my eyes were caught
My words were not abroad
My life had many empty pages
My heart had many empty stages

Two years ago my eyes were taken
My heart was not mistaken
My life was re-written, on all pages
My heart was a concert, with full stages

One year ago, my eyes were mournful
My heart felt painful
Marks left of torn pages
Silence again, with no stages

Today is the day in between
Yesterday was the day to mourn
Tomorrow I will be reborn
I hope of love, never before seen
This is actually a confusing one. Three years ago I met the girl that most of my poems are about, two years ago we've been together for almost a year, last year, before we were together for 2 years, we broke up. Yesterday was the 'anniversary' of us being apart for a year, and today is the day in between. Yesterday, the day that I finally got over her, and tomorrow, the day I'm meeting a girl I've been talking to for a few months online. I really like her, and I think it's time to move on
Armand-DeamoJC Jul 2019
She's being characterized
instead of sympathized
By her first actions
and by all fractions
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2019
Of doing even a little effort
for too much gives no result
Is it time to resort
to measures worse than assault

I preach of loving yourself
yet I despise myself
One cannot explain oneself;
How much of an urge to **** this self
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2018
Centered as always, but focused was true
Determined as always, but focused on you
Unwritten words in my head
Turn unspoken instead

The darkest of places of every corner in my mind
Has morphed you into something unkind
I've wished that time could rewind
So I'd remember those beautiful words
it's actually unfinished, but I thought it'd be poetic
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2018
The winter air, everywhere
Our hands, intertwined
The world around us, quiet
Our eyes, gazing
The people, watching
Young love, careless

Then I remember,
it's a memory
An old memory, take me back please
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
I'm extremely frustrated
It's difficult to explain
As well as infuriated,
but why complain?
Friendship deteriorated
And ended in pain
I want to write more, but I can't think lf anything. It's just too ******* painful to even figure out what I'm feeling
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2018
I've fought this battle
In my own mind
I was a sheperd to cattle
Trained by kind

The war of the dictionary
Every word in conflict
Where my heart's stationary
And impossible to predict

The perfect illumination
Is the apiphany
Of my every creation
and becomes my symphony

When my words are together
I'll be satisfied forever
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
You struggle with your pain
Yet still helped me anyways
To reach more to gain
Even if no one stays

A sonnet dedicated to you
With a new happiness born
Yet you're filled with blue
As your wiery heart's worn

I know your soul's torn,
But I'm here to repair
Your rose, not only a thorn
To live with no despair

I know how you've been shoved
I know soon you'll be loved
To a girl called Olivia who shared my poem and helped me touch many more people. I want to help her in her darkness, for she helped me as well
Armand-DeamoJC Jan 2019
Innocent souls, meant to strive
Dark demons, allowed to live

Casualties that had it all
That should've kept it all

Words escaping
This ravaged reaping
My bestfriend and my oldest highschool friend has grown sick
My future was sewn in the womb
I spent the former chasing my tomb
Wondering and wishing to be a groom
Here I am now, but was it too soon
To think back to that afternoon
Where I stumbled and found truth
Whilst still in my youth
Intoxicated thinking it'll soothe
The pain I made myself loathe;
No, I've aged and I've grown
I should know, that I should own
These mistakes that I've crowned,
And the hatred that I've vowed
To these thoughts of an entire crowd
So here I am, back where I clowned
My own love and heartbreak
To one stupid little mistake
Which led to my rebate
So here I am, still stupid and young
It's been three years, I once heard poetry comes from sadness and heartbreak, but I now know it's not true. Mine came from being lost
Armand-DeamoJC Nov 2018
The angels wept
with no single conspiracy
The demons crept
with woeful jealousy

White lies
Made of broken cries
Mournful eyes
Morphing to despise

Looking at the world with a broken lens
As another innocent ends
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
It was a normal day
That went this way:

We, two besties forever
Made rules, to be broken never
Actually promises to last ever
So they'd be covered in leather

I broke the first promise
Followed me trying
To recreate her solace
And cheer her crying

She broke every promise, first
My thoughts lead me to think
She developed a thirst
Only fed by ink

All I could do
Was to stand
And stare at
What used to
Be my galaxy
Become dust
And crumble
Into nothing
You used to be my everything my bestie. I don't blame either of us, but if I had to I'd pin this one on myself
I wasn't there when you needed me
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
I wonder if death is the pen
in the story of my life
and that life is the paper
like the canvas of an artist
I wonder if the pen burst
or if I have a creative author
I wonder and wish even more
that my paper can just end
and my story can be published
in your library of life
I wish, oh I wish
the paper will befriend the pen
like the beauty tamed the beast
and the sugar of sin held him tight
To my great friend Duncan, I'll miss you buddy. He's grown very sick, with an unknown disease yet, but chances are slim
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
One of the happiest days, was when I first saw you

The saddest?
Well that would be the day I had to say goodbye, but didnt't
It would be the day
I destroyed it all again
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2018
I never say it,
I really can't show ,
Though I always mean it,
But welcome to now

I do love you,
From every wrinkle,
And oh yes I do,
To every crinkle

You're a great mother,
Even without your hair,
You shaped me a brother,
So proud, to even share

If I do manage to send,
Know this poem doesn't end
My mother's cancer count went from 2 all the way to 700 within a week. She spoke as if she's terminal, so I guess she joined my libriary of life
Armand-DeamoJC Jan 2020
I've been stuck in a haze
Between taking drugs and alcohol
and burning methanol

The fun
the sun
now means none

Repellent to being sober
I'll be so high man, **** the moon
During the day; 'till it's over
I'll be so drunk man, ******* soon

I'll take more and more and more
To **** this negative seed
More, More, More this haze I will adore
Till my nose and eyes bleed

Next day I wake
Ready to bake
New memories to make
New memories to take

Drown back, drown pain!
Before that seed comes back
To force me to repeat; again
Never-ending, until I crack
They say it will never cost more days than the amount of days you had with someone, to be able to move on. I beg to differ. Being sober never helped, never said the drugs do, but they make it bearable. Driving, riding, racing past my limits helps the mind clear. Sometimes we need to lose control of something to be able to feel as if you can get control of it
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2020
When I met you I thought my life would change
I thought my life would have meaning
I thought I was becoming a man

When I met you
My life changed
Not the way I expected though

I stopped doing drugs and smoking
I found love and loved it
I found friendship and cherished it
Friendship betrayed me soon after
Love sent me on my way
I became a party animal
And drug addict

Highschool
When I met you
I thought my life would have meaning,
But my thoughts were deceiving
I was blind to what I was seeing
And lost myself

Tomorrow I'll send you on your way
And there'll be no way to make me stay
I'll never forget you
I'll never regret you
I'll never miss you
Tomorrow my life will change,
But wasn't that how all this started
Just frightened about leaving home and joining the military
Armand-DeamoJC Jun 2018
His vilification and forgery of happiness
Had scorned her love
And as he used to lay down
On the sweet and soft river bed
With the placid waves merging around him
The Crepuscular light peeking at twilight

He watches herfrom the corner of both eyes
Tearing apart as another man caresses her
He breaks even further apart
As he misses her warm embrace
Her silky touch on his ragged face
Her crisp ogling through his mind into his soul

Her precious love had him engaged
Her mellifluous persuasive voice had been
What he missed the most
He desired to taste such love again,
But he knew and he knew
That there is none quite equal to her
How I feel about someone I loved dearly, but I'm too emotionally unstable to give her what she wanted and I lost her and she's moved on
Armand-DeamoJC Jan 2019
Dear holder of thy heart
Please protect, the priceless
It might need some glue
So fix it for you

Dear holder of thy heart
Please revive, the unending love
I tore it, twice apart

Dear holder of thy soul
Please know I love her
Letting her go
Was worse than trying to forget

Dear lover of my true love
Take care of her
For I love her till this day
Treat her well
Like I should have

Dear husband of my true love
Love her, adore her, and always keep her
Let her strive
Let her live
She's a wild soul, concealed by a broken heart
I hope you still treat her well, I hope
Armand-DeamoJC Jun 2018
When one finds a box of six puppies in the road
would one take five puppies and leave one?
Taking all six is proper human code,
"leave one alone to starve", said none.

I've been left alone and all my loved ones taken away
I have learned to walk alone, but I always stray

We may not compare animals to humans,
but the Romans can compare letters and numbers

A dog and a wolf is compared by us,
but a wolf fights for it's own survival
whilst most dogs sleep in comfort
and are fed by us

The million dollar question is...
why am I the puppy left in the box alone
to fend for myself, for there is none
I don't know if this even makes sense, hopefully soon something will
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
To tell people to not
Try to commit suicide
When It's my perfect plot
It's just a riptide

It's actually a beautiful noun
Though a dreadful verb
Like a stupid clown
Driving over a curb

There is no goal
It's all too unkind
Having no soul
And a dying mind

I wondered if I'd see you when
As I thought I missed you then
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
I am not your Romeo,
nor your Antonio
You are the beauty in power
and the sweet after sour
The sovereign of my heart
from the utmost start
To where we are now
From down there below

We are free doves
Where none loves
Only flow with the wind
Where darkness clinged
White doves come along
With too many white lies
Black doves, move along
With such depressing pre-lives
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
Remember
Giving up
is easier
than
letting go
I needed my bestfriend at this moment and she just read my message and didn't say ****, sometimes we have to figure out how to stay alone, instead of being alone
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2018
Love, what sweet despair
and what mournful joy
Is love, having a wife
To hold at night
To kiss after work
or
Is love, changing the lonely shower
into the ******* hour
To hold at night
To make love with after work;
Though:
Is love, the poison of our hearts
and the fuel of despair
To cry at night
To drink after work
Love is always defined by a family or it's defined with ***, but no person can argue. Love hurts us, and it breaks us, it uses us
Armand-DeamoJC Sep 2020
I wanna see the horrors of this world and hate it
I wanna see the wonders of this world and love it
I wanna find love and cherish it
I wanna die young and regret it
Armand-DeamoJC Oct 2018
To my first love
That I let go
Free like a dove
With the wind you flow

To my ever sweet bestfriend
I will always love you
To whenever we may end
I've done all I can do

To my old buddy
If only we'd ride
I wouldn't have to study
Or set you aside

I wouldn't have lost the creed,
but in my mind it planted a seed
If I never met my first love I'd still have my bestie as close as we were
If I never met my bestie, I'd have many more memories with my buddy
If I never met my buddy, I never would have left the group
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
Colours are shaded differently
Lives can change instantly

Cigarettes and alcohol couldn't hold you back
You wanted to break my mind
I allowed you by being kind
You knew that eventually I'd crack

Diablo... they used to call me
It's not who I wanted to be
It wasn't a choice
I was chosen

I wish I could go back to that day
To whom would it favor?
Only those I hurt
Only those, I...

I wish it were me instead of you
It was a war in there and I got out
I never should have
The war out here's a lot more difficult

Those white lines seem so sweet
Those red eyes seem to fix it all
What helped most, the amnesia?
White lines, I need ya
White lines, I got ya
Solemn Sold Soul Said Satan
Solitary solitude, shed shears
Temporary takeoff, tense tears
Maybe my last poem , or maybe...
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2018
Though I wish it were a marriage
So it could all end
Armand-DeamoJC Nov 2020
My demise
I cannot despise
I'll look it in the eyes
And accept my poem dies
I'll soar in the skies
For days
While nobody cries
And everyone strives
After their derives
I'll end up rich and alone some day. I just feel it
Armand-DeamoJC Jun 2018
She
She stopped me that night,
she told me that it's alright

She told me that she's not stupid
the reason we're together's not, because of cupid

Me

I asked her what she meant
Her love cost me no rent

I told her she's confusing me
I knew what else it could be

**

She saw that I only want my once true love
she said that she understands it will be rough

We part ways and never again did we speak
I'll never forget the times we had at willow creek

Last of her that I heard, she was underneath the ground
at peace with herself, she and death is now bound
Probably not the best I've written, but at least better rhyme schemes. It's a poem about how I used someone to get my mind off my ex, and the person fell for me, and I didn't know and then I decided to let her go, because she was better off without me
Armand-DeamoJC Aug 2018
I miss you more than my words can utter
and I miss you, more than any tear could clutter
Nor my liver nor lungs love me
Nor my brain that'd been damaged
by the sugar of sin
Check the heart I gave you
After I gave yours back
*******************
I miss you
so much
Thinking about someone, no idea why, but I miss you my twin
Armand-DeamoJC Dec 2020
A boy, aged eight
Asked his father a question.
"Was my birthdate,
The cause of your depression?"
The father only watched the boy
Which started to annoy
The child's thoughts
Like PTSD and gunshots.

A boy aged ten
Asked his mother the same question;
She said it was war, then
That it woke his inner aggression.
She said it probably took his soul
And one day again he'd be whole

A man aged eighteen's
asked a question by his parents
"Are you proud to have those genes?
And to be in our presence?"
He didn't have words to describe
The emotions he tried to hide.
He always sought recognition,
Not their judgemental superstition.
He wanted them to be proud,
But as expected, he bowed.

He left their presence, knowing:
That his entire life, he was growing.
To be able to handle the truth,
About his entire youth.
He was never adored or respected
His parents were to be represented
By him, and that was his goal;
NO! I Did not sell my soul

Your reputation, is not my responsibility
My future is
You can't accept that,
And I understand now.
It's time for me to leave,
This toxic representation
Of a Home
I've been partying a lot, and doing drugs, but I only thought of it to enjoy my last few months before adulthood. My parents knew what I was doing, but said nothing until they were spoken to. They never have given a **** about me, only about the way their parenting reflects from me. I should've gotten a job in the military, but they moved the application dates to next year. Last I heard. My father kept it from me, until the day before applications. He told me there's a drug test and I won't pass it, I'll only destroy his name. I stopped smoking **** and popping pills before my exams started, but there's no trust. This was my childhood and I've decided that I've been blind for too long
Armand-DeamoJC Apr 2019
I know you still share feelings                    (a)
Though, with different meanings              (a)
for I remember:                                             (c)

Your heart gazed into my ego                      (d)
Your crystalline eyes                                    (e)
with pristine seas                                          (f)
Melted my heart, like that of ice                 (g)
Your lips, rewrote my affection                  (h)

Things might be different                           (i)
Though I might now be an insurgent       (i)
for if I re-render:                                          (c)

Your lips, told me to go                              (d)
on the most obscure days                           (e)
in a world of dying trees                            (f)
with no breath, like lab mice                     (g)
I tied a noose, with my rejection               (h)
A poem to my beloved, to whom I say thank you for making me push to the point where I wanted to take my own life. I still love you and I know you love me too, but it's the worst kind of love you can find
Armand-DeamoJC Jul 2020
Life is a delusion of meaning,
We seek direction without seeing.
Death is deceived as the end,
For none accept it is meant.
The people will forever live a lie,
We're not meant to live, but die.

Infinite possibilities of history,
But one day it won't be me.
Ineffable beauty we all desire,
Nefarious cruelty we all will acquire.

The only greatness we will find,
Is that destiny is very unkind.
Cupid is ****** and love's a lie,
Another arrow, and I will die.

Let me feel love again,
To leave this world in pain.
I'm not a poet anymore,
But maybe I never were.

The words here, I have said,
Are the memories I have bled.
Heal me, but never take my scars,
Feel me, for I'll be amongst the stars.
For death is darkness right?
In space, there is no ligh.
Forever, I'll float into the abyss,
And maybe find something to miss.
Death might not be the end, it might actually be what we're meant for. What if you wake up again and you're in space. A star, or a planet. There are so many possibilities that some of us will make history, but I won't. We expect too much and receive the opposite. Love kills more that it creates, yet we desire it. I only speak of experience, a lot of other people have different lives, but too many share the same as I. Losing it all again, and again, and again. We only learn that we are irrelevant and family is the only love
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