I wonder if she regrets anything at all
I wonder what she regrets
Maybe I should ask
Unveil the things that are carved and masked
But at least she's alright now
On her ride away to Hell.

I want to express what I mean when I say I love you, but there aren't enough words to express this need to love you

It's no real smile,
but it's better than a real frown

I think I'm faking it
Faking orgasums
Faking feelings
Faking being a good person
Why do I feel so fake?
I feel so confusing
I confuse even myself
Especially when I confess my fate to my heart
My heart still hopes, and I'm trying
Oh, so trying so hard to break it and grind it into dust
I feel fake
Everytime I don't say what I really think
I know how my words would crush hearts on the verge of tears
And I care enough not to let good hearts cry because of me
I still feel fake, I feel trapped, unfree
17 years a slave to society and counting
I wish I could run away, disappear
*But like a slave, I'm still bound in chains

You know,
I lose things fast.
So I'll enjoy it,
Enjoy it while it lasts.

It's inside you,
You're holding it all in your hands.

Kinks and coils
I love my curls
I even love my gurls
My blood stays on boil

My bones ain't noodles
So I need to cool down
And slowly take away this frown
I'm going to distract myself with words and doodles

Sometimes I loath you
But then I still care about you
I still trace the remembrance of clues
Sometimes you get in the way of you

I am not the imperfections of my skin
I am not the imperfections of my mind
I'm clueless about mankind
Won't let anyone back in

They only miss you when they're miserable or have nothing to do.

I find it kind of funny
That people care after it's too late
I find it kind of funny
When people care about **** they're unable to do anything about
I find it kind of funny
That people can care about people they never knew existed, but most likely wouldn't do **** to help them
I find it ******* hilarious
That people care what I do with my life

Hands delve deep in damp shadows
Even in slumber you drive my body insane
My body remembers you well
It's kept all memories of you so clear in it's senses
It misses you so dearly
I do miss you too, clearly
All this wetness is unnecessary
And this need for you, and only you, to myself is oh so scary
You whisper it's me you want to marry...
I woke up out the dream
Wondering what was wrong with me
I was warm and full of need
All I could think about is how much I wanted him to come pamper me

“Fire doesn't purify, it blackens."*

-Silent Hill

Am I the only one here?
Did I make everyone disappear?
Did my ear splitting scream deafen your ear?
I'll scream till my voice is gone
I'll leave when the forces are on
When will I be cheered on for my common senses?
Can you listen?
Cause I want you to repeat this

I'll let it flow
I'll let it stream from my heart to my pen
Scratching against the paper vigorously
I create beautiful art out of words
I create a beautiful picture in a thousand eyes
I create a beautiful or terrible feeling in a million hearts
I can break or fix a heart with one line
Mend a soul with two lines
And revive a spirit with three lines
I can do this only until the last word is written and read

Don't be fooled by these **** offs that you're their gold.

There are things that are forbidden
The small black box in the darkest corner of my mind is forbidden
Things, bad things are in that box
It's locked
And it must be for good reason
There could be a thousand lifetimes my soul has lived in that box
Or it could be old memories best forgotten
I don't know, and I may never know
All I know it that that box is forbidden
And I don't have the key
I don't know where it is or where to begin to look for it
*And my feelings tell me that the key is just as forbidden too

Sitting on a bridge
Looking at the river water
The moonlight reflects onto my skin giving tonight a better lighting*
Falling in the river, the current pulls me under
I'm not afraid, but I find myself clutching at the water, my instincts kicking in
I get to the bottom
The necklace that slipped from me while the current pulled me down slowly flows down
I stop clutching
And I let the round silver locket fall into my hand
I see the picture of us and the word that's written *Forever

•                                                            "He­aven is forever."
       "Then                                              "Hell is eternity."                                   •

I met a guy by the riverside and I was in Denile
He made me laugh he even kept my smile
He made my heart thump when he touched me twice
He stole my love when he read me his favorite book
He stole my heart when he made his first real poem deticated to me, and he confessed all his feelings
Our souls slowly became attached to each other as we got to know each other
And I realized,
His soft gentleness is slowly conquering my insides
By turning my ******* into marshmellos and daisies
I'm not even sure if I agreed to this
If I even wanted this
It's confusing to know what I want, I want him, and I don't feel the same with him
He changed me
Forever he
No, forever we
Are bound together in time

Forgiving myself was the hardest of all.
I forgive me.

Dying and breaking
Left in the desert sand
Left to bleed out and die for the vultures
No one
No savior
Is coming
Breath comes fast and dry
Is this what it feels like to be forsaken?
Left so alone that there is no one, no savior?
At least I'm good for one thing
Food
Food for the vultures
Thoughts of my old suicide attempts come to mind again
Maybe this is my time. Please please let it be.
My body I want to forsake
My heartbeat I want to escape
Eyes slowly drifting closed
Forsake forsake forsake my body
Leave it for the vultures that eat forsaken and deception any and everyday

For someone whose had their heart broken,
You sure do love breaking other's a little bit too much.

What's the hold up?
Why are we on pause?
I'd suggest you start warming up
If you want an early surprise from Mrs. Clause
I have red ruby lips for you to kiss on
I want you to kiss me till I'm fully breathless
I really want a large ******* to sit upon
**** me till my screaming is all helpless
First, **** me like you love me,
Then **** me like you hate me
Eat my ***** like a savage, it's all warm and tasty
Baby, if I squeeze too hard, don't quit licking
It'll be all worth it for this cherry picking

Some friends are for different seasons
Some friends stay for different reasons

To: Present*

You're walking a part of the road I left far behind

I like to keep my words exact
Don't mouth off lousy "facts"
Thought you had my back
But you were only behind me for advantage
My mind has been so hard to manage
I don't wish to be like the others on this planet
The thing is I hate the past, the present, the future
The aspects of time puts my mind through infinite torture
My poor choices changes my architecture structure

Struck a nerve, pinned the needle
Imagination needs treatment, for his illness is mental
But I could not send him to the hospital
His *** is running at the speed of light
He should've skipped that and took off in flight
But, I don't need to be at those heights
If I was that high I'd probably hurl
Can't blame a girl for saving her curls
But in this water I will swirl
To the bottom to enjoy being so close to this world

I am stuck in the same place
At the same pace
What's wearing thin is my patience
I don't have any time to stay complaisant
I need to find my placement
Put myself first, not in the basement
Some may not know what it meant
I however hold no sentiments
This is what I have to deal with
No one actually making things better for me
Instead I bleed
My marrow creating blood just abundantly
Just to keep the stream from weening
Disallowing the life in me to die out

Everybody has their ****** up ways,
Funny thing is that it has a way of coming back on you.

Funny how you use the amount of ***** you get
And girls who you have follow
To amount up to how attractive you are
Knowing **** good and well ugly people somehow got someone to creep with
You don't need to look pretty to get ***** or dicked down
And just because they follow,
It doesn't make you ****
Especially since, these actions are so senseless
And these actions are a risk that
Makes you love the game
But the game never did anything
The player did
That's why the game is never blamed.

A heart isn't a game
*** isn't a game or a gamble
Tears are potions of frustration and pain
*** was never intended to be physical gain
I could knock on this ****
Point out everything not worth it
But still no one would ever get what my mouth tries to say
This age, and this day
Nothing but a petty game I'll have to play

I think I get it now.

Oh, I'm a ***?
With no life and no meaning?*
You say you don't give a **** about me
But you still look at my social media doe!
Oh, I'm glad for this information
The more I know, the more I start to care less
The more I think I feel my power depress
I really need progress

Cause my goal ain't to care less
It's to move on and not to give a **** at all

Standing at the cross road I sang his name
The one people always mentioned when they found out something shocking
God was never here
This place is a barren grave for the forsaken
No flowers were ever placed here
No plant ever grew here
God was never here, but this barren land still has some beauty
God was never here
And it was never ashame

As life goes by
I lose my mind.

She taught me that if the first one isn't just right try again
She also taught me that each try that you risk could be fatal or peaceful
She taught me you can't walk into the beast's home without being aware of it

Some people don't realize they've had a good thing till it's gone.
Some people don't know they have a bad thing so long as it stays.

No one is good enough for you,
That's why you go through so many chicks
But ironically, or not, you're not good enough for anyone else either.

I give you a grain of rock
And I tell you of the highest mountain, containing liquid gold at the entrance of the very tip
But you, throwing the grain in my eye
Choose not to believe me
Instead you choose to spew out the nastiness of your disbelief
Even after bluntly letting you know to do research
"I'm not gonna do any ******* research"
Well dear, stay blind,
I hope you fall on a cactus *** first
Bet that will open your eyes

Stop salting your soil
Stop ripping your roots
Stop grating your grass
Start calling a truce
Start reeping what you sow
Start watering and it'll grow
Communicate
Appreciate
Never hesitate
Or the sun will
Not elevate

There will always be someone who's greedy
Who will do wrong just to fill it
Greed can never be filled, it can never be satisfied or sated
It will always be a gapping neverendding hole that demands to be filled with empty things
Greed will take anything
Money, drugs, ***, power
Anything
It won't ever be filled
No matter how much you give
It will always take up everything
*It will even take your soul

I cannot explain why I have this pain
In my heart and in my soul
I cannot let go
I can't let go that you're not here anymore
I can't let go that you will never be back
That I'll never hear your voice again
That I'll never be forced into those sort of bear hugs you liked to give me (even though you knew that I hated hugs)
That I'll never hear the funny laugh you had (when you really truly laughed)
Now you're a million miles away
I don't know if you're alive, married to some girl in Vegas
I don't know if you're dying on a corner of some street I don't know of
I don't know where you are, what you are doing, who and what you have left behind, dead or alive
I don't know
I just know you left me and never looked back or sent a letter
I grieve your death just the same
When you left you basically died
You killed your image in me
An image never fading
I still hate hugs even though I miss yours
I still miss your voice and laughter, but you're gone now
And you promised to never come back
*It looks like you're keeping your promise rather well

In order to be strong, you have to be weak
One does not exist without the other
In order to stay strong
You must have memerance of your weakness

Sitting on the bathroom floor with a gun in your hand
Knees pulled up to your chest
Your head rests on your knees
Your shoulders shaking cause you're laughing and crying
Gun to the side of your head
"Are you gonna do it?"
Find the sweet release when the bullet leaves the barrel of the gun and enters your brain

Click

The gun's empty
I am not dying
The gun's unloaded
I do this every time
Never strong enough to take the bullet
And never strong enough to let anyone see me like this
Always weak enough to be messed up like this
*Always thinking, always wishing I put a bullet in

Half through Midnight's slumber
I'm more awake than ever
My desires, my wants, my fantasies,
I realize them so much harder.

My pulse, it pumps the ecstasy
While your hand reaches in my flower
My soul, it simmers at the start
Then you showed what you could do with imitations of male parts.

It takes a lot more than a month and two pounds of **** to get over someone you really had feelings for.

Happily ever afters
They are fake story endings for me
Why not put the truth in it?
Cause in life there are never any happily ever afters
Even in my dreams there are never any happy endings
Life is no different
Life is a gamble
Where worse can get worse
Or better can get better
But most of the time
Worse gets worse
And better can't get better
*Life moves on even when you're dead