A grey beast atop; it howled, it growled.
The stream of his blood; it rained, it flowed.
Light beams everywhere,
but the sun was found nowhere.
I fought for rest; I tried to sleep,
And the symphony has made me weep.
Oh sun, come bring a knife;
I am tired of this life.

Don’t cry
Do not water the flowers
I will just hit the sack
and I will never go back
Thy smile shall be ever left unseen
But kept with me,
Are the memories that we have been
Bless me with peace as I rest
For I never felt it in my quest
Sorry that this has to end
Close the door and let me ascend
My friend,
Let the flowers bend

Don’t cry
Do not rage a storm
For I’ll be taking steps alone
Go yell for the sun’s perfect tone
I will leave
Please don’t grieve
I’ll bring with me the scars you gave
Please just lend me one last wave
Burn all of my past
Leave them all with a blast
Please make my path easier
Just allow the storm to falter

Don’t cry
Do not flood the whole world
You may now remove your mask
And throw your lies in the dusk
I know you wanted this to happen
I know you wanted me to go
Do not ever regret
As you must never forget
You knew I couldn’t swim
Part the flood into a stream
And for the very last time
Save those droplets of dime
Don’t cry, don’t cry.

I was always the first one;
the first one to approach,
the first one to communicate,
the first one to understand,
the first one to appreciate,
the first one to apologize,
the first one to fix things up,
the first one to listen,
the first one to open up,
the first one to do something,
the first one to consider,
the first one to worry,
the first one to surrender,
the first one to care,
the first one to forgive,
the first one to value,
the first one to believe,
the first one to fight,
the first one to trust,
the first one to hold on,
the first one to fall in love,
and you were the first one who gave up...
the first one who let go.
If ever you forgot,
I want to let you know.

Ngingiti ka na naman;
Lolokohin mo na naman ang buong mundo,
Paniniwalain ang lahat ng tao,
Uutuin maging ang sarili mo--
Na ayos ka lang,
Na wala kang problema,
Na patuloy kang lumalaban
Sa buhay kung sa’n
Ang sarili ang iyong kalaban.
“Ayos lang” ang iyong sagot sa tanong na “kamusta ka?”
At ngayon ko lamang napagtanto na palabiro ka pala.
Lahat nang ‘yan, iyong itatago sa iisang ngiti.
At sa iyong pagkukubli,
Lahat ay napaniwala.

Tatawa ka na naman;
Muling ipaparinig ang iyong halakhak.
‘Yung tipong mabibingi silang lahat
At masasabing ikaw ay masaya at tapat.
Pero ang bawat ritmo ay kumpas ng kasinungalingan
Na hindi namamalayan dahil sa lakas ng tawanan.
Itutuloy ang tawa hangga’t ang kasiyahan ay maisilang.
Pambihirang panlilinlang.
Daig mo pa ang hunyango pagdating sa pagtatago.
Lahat idaraan mo sa tawa, hindi dahil masaya ka,
Kundi dahil wala kang mukhang maihaharap.
At sa iyong pagpapanggap,
Lahat ay napaniwala.

Mananahimik ka na naman;
Mambibingi gamit ang saradong bibig.
Sasampalin ang buong mundo ng kantang walang ritmo,
Walang liriko, at walang nota.
Dahil hindi tengang handang makinig ang iyong kailangan,
Kundi pangunawa at ang maintindihan.
Mahirap bang gawing salita ang iyong nadarama?
Hirap ka bang magsabi ng kahit ano sa kanila?
Kaya’t mananahimik ka na lang
At paparoon sa isang sulok.
Aawit nang pabulong,
Rinig lamang ang iyong suntok.
At sa iyong pananahimik,
Lahat ay napaniwala.

Mangangamba ka na naman;
Matutulog na lang, sasaktan pa ang sarili mo.
Titingin sa paligid at magiisip nang kung anu-ano.
Kahit ano.
Kahit masakit.
Hanggang sa maaawa ka sa kalagayan mo ngayon
At Iiyakan ang sariling takot bumangon.
Malulungkot, magagalit
At mapapatanong kung bakit.
Bakit ganito? Bakit ganyan?
Bakit ang mata mo ngayo’y luhaan?
Minsan tulog na lamang iyong hiling,
Pero pagod ka pa rin maging sa paggising.
Mangangamba at iisipin ang lahat.
Lahat sila,
Lahat ng iyong napaniwala.

Pero hindi ako.
Ibahin mo ako,
Simula’t sapul, hindi mo ‘ko maloloko.
Hindi mo ‘ko mapapaniwala, hindi mauuto,
Dahil kilala kita,
At alam ko ang pinagdaraanan mo.
Alam kong hirap ka na sa pagsubok ng buhay.
Mistulang ang bawat araw ay pare-pareho na lamang,
Walang bago, puro tabang.
Maaaring tensionado ka, dulot ng paaralan.
O ‘di kaya’y dahil diyan sa mga tinatawag **** “kaibigan.”
Pwede ring dahil sa iyong tahanan.
Dahil sa sakit na dulot ng kung ano man.

Kilala kita.
Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo.
Alam kong gusto mo nang huminto,
Gusto mo nang itigil ang laro,
Pagod ka nang bumangon,
At takot nang umahon.
Tulad ng isang dahon na kahit kalian
Ay ‘di maibabalik sa punong pinanggalingan.
At iyo na lamang inaantay ang iyong paglanta.
Sa isang lugar, inirereklamo ang tagal ng pagkawala.
Dahil ikaw ay sawang-sawa.
Paulit-ulit na lamang.
May galit, may pait pagkatapos ng hagupit.
Babangon, sasaya, at muling babalik sa sakit.
Alam kong luha ang ‘yong nais ipabatid,
At hindi ang iyong mga tawa.
Dahil dama ko ang iyong lungkot sa tuwing ika’y masaya.
Alam kong hirap ka na.
Alam ko, alam ko.

Kilala kita.
Alam ko ang pagkatao mo.
Hirap ka nang kumapit, alam ko.
Dahil mahina ka,
At ‘di mo kailangang magpanggap;
Alam ko ang iyong hanap.
Ngunit nawa'y maintindihan mo,
Tanggap kitang buo at totoo.
Pwede ka nang umiyak,
Pwede mo nang bitiwan ang 'yong sandata,
Pwede mo nang ibaba ang iyong kalasag,
Pwede ka nang maging totoo.
‘Wag nang magpanggap na malakas ka,
Pwede kang maging mahina.
Pwede mo nang burahin ang iyong ngiti.
Pwede kang umiyak,
Hayaan **** dumaloy ang mga luha.
Sige, isumbong mo lahat,
Sabihin mo ang lahat sa akin,
Akala mo ba’y ‘di ko napapansin?
Sumuko man ang araw at nagdulot ng dilim,
‘Di kita susukuan at mananatiling taimtim.
Patuloy na kumakapit,
Inaantay ang 'yong paglapit.
Alam kong mapapatanong ka na naman kung bakit.
Bakit alam ko, at bakit ganito.
Pasensiya kung may pagkukulang man ako,
Ngunit hiling ko lamang na ikaw ay magkwento.
At sabay tayong ngingiti at tatawa,
Saba’y tayong iiyak sa drama.
Yayakapin kita,at patuloy na uunawain,
Dahil 'yun lang din naman ang gusto kong gawin.

Sabi ko nga sa’yo, kilalang-kilala kita.
At ‘di tulad ng iba,
Hindi mo 'ko mapapaniwala.
Dahil siyempre, ako ang 'yong ina.

F-or I've been yearning for a bond or two
R-are it is, for my sad tableau
I- was plain till I found a book
E-asy not, it's a slow and gentle cook
N-ot a one can ruin this sweet, simple art
D-on't falter it doesn't stop there
S-ometimes, importance swims in the air
H-orrible it truly is when death takes place
I- miss those times when everything's ablaze
P-arted we may be, but kept in each heart

Now I know how it feels
when you get drifted away
from someone you love
but they never did leave
I pushed them afar

I didn't want to
but I just did
but trust me
I didn't want that to happen
I didn't want you to leave
I didn't want you to keep distance
I didn't want you to be gone
I didn't want to
but I just did

I did it because I'm sick
I did it because I need to heal myself
I need personal time
and I don't want you to be sick, too

but now I know
that having you gone
is worse than
having me sick
but it's too late
you're all gone
you're nowhere to be found
I can't find you
I can't see you anywhere
and I feel guilty
I feel all the negative things
surrounding me
and I'll be taking this burden forever

I am guilty
I am guilty of missing you so much
A sorry can't heal any wounds
but hope does, a prayer does

and I just hope you're fine
I hope you're okay and well
I pushed you away from the black hole
because it's for your own good
It's for you

I did want to
and I did

plain dark yet I see thousand skyscrapers
emptiness filled with nothingness
and my pocket bleeds the word I spit
my eyes get drowned from its sweat
everyone is nowhere
and so are my emotions
like an old shell left because it's weak
heavy enough to be lifted up
silent, but not peaceful
wildfire slowly tearing down every walls
yet I hear happiness from the other side
it's far, but I know it is meant for me
they're happy when I'm alone
they're happy that I am alone

but it's fine
it is fine with me
it is fine with everyone who gets used to reality

pain is with him
they never drifted apart
not even once
the sun knows the truth
and so does the moon
yet everyone knows not
because every time he bleeds
all he bleeds is ink

you’re the best song that ever drenched my ears
a story filled with wines and tears
the umbrella that kept my rains from my lips
a moon that lights beyond an eclipse
pain that is worthy to be felt
a mistake that I’d commit till I melt
you are a past where I have been
the present that cannot ever be seen
a future that I will never have
and the memory that shall be always loved

I better get out of the woods

I was reading a book
I was Indulging the smell of its old pages
my imagination was ignited
as I ate every mere word it has
my eyes were healed
my mind was quenched
I was not me when I was walking the journey
and it’s a story that I hoped would never end
its covers conceal fragility
and the book sheltered me from reality
I was focused
I was bound to the book

lots of things had happened
and I was unaware
it was already afternoon
the flowers poured the summer’s snow
fogs devoured the pearls of the ocean
trees have lost all of its leaves
the bookshelf fell and got broken
my coffee became cold
and many more had happened
everything happened
I did not know
I was too busy
I was reading a book
and that book was you

I didn't know that peace was false
in the eyes of a silent man;
that I was deaf enough
to hear screams that sought for me.
He never spoke, and never did tell,
so, I simply mirrored the silence where I fell.
Through that, the clouds got darker,
since then, the nights got even longer.

How pretentious silence can be.
How it easily fooled the people around me.
How truth was washed, and revealed
that no one can read
all the ink that I bleed

the nights are longer than days
stars are tangled on a grey mist
trees shout winds that never were felt
nothing but darkness
there are no people anywhere
nothing but my body
suddenly, a storm came running after me
sharp lightnings everywhere
wild tornadoes in the air
I seek to run; my knees bleed
my feet ache, and my joint hurts
and I found myself on the cliff
nothing can help
no one can
and so I jumped
I fell
and the sky full of mist fell on me
all the winds, the storms and
everything fell on me
oh, sorry, I can't handle my anxiety

A new face
A stranger
One that can resurrect a withered flower
My eyes were stunned
It’s more like I’m dreaming
Please don’t wake me up
This feeling’s overwhelming
I think I’m in love
But I do not know exactly
Is this love at first sight?
Why does time run slowly?

I was jealous of everyone near you
You have hurt me unconsciously
I manage to come near you
And finally, I was with victory

Lots of things happened
More on pain than love
I became selfish
I just wanted to be with you
But it turned out
That the love I offer is not true
Nothing’s wrong with you
It’s about me
I thought I was in love
I thought it was love that I felt
I thought you were perfect

But I was wrong
Love’s not about perfection
It’s about accepting flaws
And every single thing
All I had was infatuation
Nothing
But a deep, deep thing
Now I’ve realized things
I’m sorry for all the damage
All the troubles
And mess

Don’t worry, for you,
Promise, I will learn to love

blame no one
blame not
for no one did know who
and no one knew what
let's ask the blood on the floor
seek the final breath that was gasped
all did a thing
yet all did nothing
somehow, indeed
that was everything

yes, I slaughtered the body
who lies with blood
I was asked to do it
I was forced to do it
my deep condolences
with all of your losses

no, crying is not demanded
pretending is not needed
caring must be shown
to the living
because the dead
can never feel a thing

I think you already know the answer
but you will never know why
why the murderer of thee
is the murdered me

would you allow a stranger to invade your life?
would you let noise overcome your melody?
would you dare to open door for someone you don't know?
would you take the risk?
'cause I did
and I don't regret doing it

that when a new taste blends within your soul
a new face is smiling next to your whole
the sun was left unseen, for your eyes were enough
and the colorful stripes shine brighter than they did
I was overwhelmed, indeed

but the door, you broke the door
and all of melody's crashed on the floor
you were different, a faceless who
how fool of me, to trust in you
you who play the pretentious game
but, sorry, no, that game's too lame

you were a stranger
and nothing but a stranger
you will always be stranger who's faces are danger
don't worry, you can stop pretending now
I have let silence overcome this noise
I closed the door for anyone's voice
it's a great risk that I took
and look,
I did
and I don't regret doing it

This time I'll change
I can't, but I will
I do not know exactly how
but I'll make sure
that they will see me bow
It's like reaching a star without a ladder
going somewhere
but you do not know how to get there
yet the ending's all worth it
so I will risk my all for it
let's discover how change occurs
for I've been stuck with my old endures
I'm tired of everything in my past
it's time to get my future vast
that's it
I've had enough
my old's gone
not even a half

I'll be stronger, braver and even better than you remember
I'm no longer a kid
no longer a child to fear
and I do hope
that you do the same, dear

I'll start to care not
I will start to fear not
I'll start to stay not
I will start to change a lot.

I am a clown;
the bringer of delight
It's my job to paint a smile
on everyone's faces
A quiet room shall be invaded
by laughter and noise, through me
It is my joy to see them happy
and my pleasure to know
that I am the reason behind it
It's my desire to share this energy
even if it does not come back to me
and yet, they got used to it

and so they thought
that my happiness does not fade
that it continuously grows
as the river flows
that my energy lasts forever
that my smile cannot be erased on my face
and my laughter will always be heard

but they were wrong
it all ends
yet no one even noticed

with that I knew
that I was falling on a cliff alone
and my mistake is not that I jumped
but I waited
I waited for a lending hand
but there is none
and then I tasted the rock bottom
how fool of me

I refused to speak
learning that no one would ever care,
listen, or understand
they know that I am a clown
but they forgot that I am also a human
a clown can also cry
my happiness can also die
but no one,
no one did a thing or two
some pretended to care
some did care
but no one cared enough
and yet, I got used to it

now, I am a sad clown
the mourner of the night

I cannot make them happy
I can't feel their energy
I cannot hear them laugh
I can’t give what I don’t have

I once was a blind bird shackled in the shadow
bestowed with a pair of flightless wings
yet cursed with a pair of sightless eyes
a tiny feather in the middle of nothingness
allowing winds to draw me nowhere
although, I like it this way
I mean, I do not know exactly
I'm being used to it
and I'm afraid I might get addicted to it
but I must not
no matter how narrow the clouds might be
you must always seek for the sun

it was a chaos
a chaos that I ignited
and yet I can't do anything about it
I tried to scream
but nothing happened
I exerted lots of energy to break these chains
and I exerted all of my strength
but these are not enough

and I became exhausted
you would not hear me
nor any sound from me
pure silence
like when an angel walks by

and I hope that an angel would walk by

all of a sudden, the dawn breaks
the gloom fades like a wild animal
there was nothing but light
and for the first time, I was able to see
clouds filled the blue firmament
the cage was broken and gone

I haven't even called Him yet
but He rescued me right on time
how He loves me so much
and I was different
never yearn to go back
a free bird, flying
changed,
new.

I'm tired
I'm tired of everything
I want to cry
I want to shout
I want to explode
I want to stop
I want to do something
but I'm tired

I want to curse people
I want to curse myself
everything, and everyone
who caused me
to feel like this
to feel lost and alone
so vague and so drowned
to feel so tired

I felt suicidal
thinking death could end it all
but I don't know
I've been overthinking so much
and my mind is tired
my heart is tired of pain
and it's palpitating with grief and hatred

I'm useless, so worthless,
nonsense
I felt nothing
no one

and despite all of these
all I want is someone
someone to support me
someone who will care
someone who will be there
because I'm tired
but no one dared to
no one attempted to
and no one did

that is why I'm tired

If you think I refer to the view that we all know
an abstract that dreams blue, red, orange, and yellow
well, that can be seen as we channel in the night
as we glimpse the last pouring of daylight.

I love stories; I read them, I feel them
and more than that, I understand them
you share what you love
so I'll share one

This is not a story, quite a poem,
quite literature, but one thing I know
this is the truth, the whole truth
nothing but the truth, my truth

this is boring, boredom
won't force you to read
but if you find it interesting,
I'll do my best to proceed

stories aim to share and to tell
tell anything, share a thing
everything, every feeling
something about nothing

But the rule is simple:
read, learn, and move on
for the story does end
stories aren't permanent

I hate how I find myself at the ending
realizing things, and gazing at the beginning
looking back at the past, just looking back
for the past is done, you are not, but you are about

For a fool like me who believes in eternity
that things will last forever, even eternally
It hurts to know that all will end
even more to know that it cannot be bent

you can't do anything
better to know nothing
I became a taste of bitterness
I hate it, but it is it

Endings are void
once you reached it, you'll be lost
you'll know you're there
when you find yourself nowhere

and yet, I lost you here

the person you sang with
with rhythm of ups and downs
and him you have been with
when your face's frowned

he never gets tired
just to draw you a smile
anything for you
even crawl for a mile

I may not make you love me
I may not call you "mine"
but the ability I have
is to make you smile

For I am not drowned yet
in the depths of a sleep
nor am I awake but
trapped somewhere from a leap

a place who sings silence
vanquished by hordes of gunshots
and these rhythms were echoed
by a man who rises his vague shouts

these harmonies breathe
as I yearn for silence
but when I close my eyes
I'm in the middle of pestilence

what place is this? belly of the beast?
who shouts what? and who shot that?

a war exists inside my head
they're using big, mechanical beasts
countless bodies were found dead
explosions flowing from west to east

I unfolded my weakened eyes
but they, I still hear
and a voice ceased the war
and tells me "Do not fear"

the war is over,
and the war was won
I try to catch my breath
I thought It is my death

I followed the voice that stopped the war
the one who healed my anxious scar

and a deep, overwhelming, string of voice
is all I hear, and I rejoice
for that time, I knew that I was not alone
I am a child of God, standing next to His throne

Anxious may the sun be when he smiles
Roaring seas stop, reflected in his eyes
Wrecking all the stars nailed in the sky
In a single tear falling from a mile
Never has he lived on this place
Deep inside his head is his space

he is bored, he's tired, he is weary
he feels numb everyday, really
faces walk and go through
yet he meets smiles from a view
he's curious, he is fearful
for he is deep, not beautiful
he yearns to talk with a voice of new
but shy he is, for a word or two
and a voice was heard that was not his
a greeting, a word, a song full of bliss
for a note of letters danced in his ears
and these letters made him smile in tears
a word was followed by a vast anxiety
he's curious, afraid but speaks freely
yet he still thinks this might be the answer
accompanied may him be forever
interested they were and they thirst a talk
happens next, they took a walk
Time swims and dives faster than waves
knowing not that they have lived many days
an ocean feels not alone
he gets used to it, no longer a stone
a bond was felt between the two
a bond that is stronger than his blue
as night rises for the fallen sun,
he utters words on his own:
"a second with her is better
than years with me alone"
but time drowns and stops swimming
he felt the earth will have its ending
the girl needs to be home and sow
and yet it pains, but he let her go
he misses her so much, that the blues turn black
and he always desire her to come back
for a part of him was taken as she left
and a part of him stays, never forgets
now his blues grow within him
he might not ever see her again
he is alone,
nonsense, like a stone
he waits for her not
but for the sun to take a nap
for when everyone's in bed
he can live inside his head
and then he goes, he is bored and tired
he's weary, alone, he needs to be fired
numbness everyday is hard yet better
better than the days lurking in winter
he keeps alone, without any other
abandoned may him be forever

Distance is a way for us to breathe,
and a way for us to drown.

I am a friend of yours
if tears need to be dried
you need hugs or a ride
when you feel alone
and you need to be home
every time you want to smile
want to walk someone a mile
if you need a diary
or simply wants to be happy
every time you need support
and when you need comfort
whenever you need someone
I'll do my best to be that one
just tell me
because I am your friend
and I will always be your friend

oh, talking to myself again
am I thinking out loud?
pardon.