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Oct 5 · 46
Ode to Life
AnxiousOcean Oct 5
I might be living the tragedy
Of someone who had
A happily ever after
In an entirely different story

And I had been thinking
About rewriting it through a reset
But doing so might make me forget

For we can never tell
If we are to become ghosts
With our memories still lingering on
Or only to be memories
Of others we have left behind

Either way, I am not ready
And I will never be
AnxiousOcean Sep 14
Jetpacks on, flap those wings with ease,
And aim beyond the outermost layer.
Zeppelins will do, or a blimp if you please –
You and I shall come across the moon chaser.

Any sound of silence can lead us straight to her.
I know it, for she's always been a familiar song,
Rewritten over and over,
As the diurnal storms prolong.

Moonlight shines the brightest on this day,
As its chaser was born a decade and eight ago.
Right now she paves her own way,
In hopes of surpassing the lunar halo.

She came from where the wildflowers grow,
Often surrounded by the people she needed.
Like an ocean, she was never shallow,
On land, her feet are always grounded.
May she become who she wants to be,
Once she reaches the moon's gravity.
Nevertheless, let us see her fly!
I wrote an acrostic poem for a great friend of mine. Her name is spelled out by the initial letters of each line. It's her Birthday today! Happy Birthday, Jazy Aira Mari Solomon!!!
Sep 14 · 43
AnxiousOcean Sep 14
Although I walk
And barely talk
My ears have never heard
Even a single word
From this dormant heart
But you are just an art
And I can't help but gaze
Walk around in a total daze
You knew dying has been my hobby
And you just turned me into a zombie
Sep 14 · 393
AnxiousOcean Sep 14
Like a small act of kindness
You make my day
Like cups of coffee
You make me wonder
Like long, tight hugs
You keep me warm
You're just enough
To boost me up

In every moment
I know what I feel
Is not permanent
But at least it's real
Aug 30 · 51
AnxiousOcean Aug 30
No one comprehends a poem
Better than a poet
It takes an artist
To fully appreciate an art
And no one can understand a child
Better than a loving mother
AnxiousOcean Aug 28
Our worlds cannot collide
And I don't want them to
You are to be with anyone but me
And believe me, that's how I want it to be

I adore you like the moon
Although there's a huge distance
I don't want to come close
But just sit here, stare
And forget how dark the night has been
And even the storm I'm currently in
Aug 17 · 113
Everyday Fools
AnxiousOcean Aug 17
When my smile radiates
What the sun can't bear
And when my eyes lied
About how I died inside
It would be very easy
To say that I am happy
And if you'd say so
I wouldn't want to dull that hue
But I'm glad that I could fool you
Aug 17 · 50
AnxiousOcean Aug 17
Right now I just thought
Of my fourteenth verse
And I'm starting to run out of blood
What ink must I use
So I would traverse
With quite a euphonious thud
Aug 17 · 47
A Few Miles Nowhere
AnxiousOcean Aug 17
When food doesn't comfort anymore
And if I ever lose my faith in coffee
I must be somewhere sunken
Somewhere I have been too often
Rule number one is to never worry
And if you please, just leave me be
Aug 15 · 31
AnxiousOcean Aug 15
I used to fear ghosts
Parasitic enigmas
Infesting random hosts
Cruel nightmare fuel
My fear was never undone
Until I became one
Jul 8 · 103
AnxiousOcean Jul 8
Crimson water
From honored realms
It does not drown
It overwhelms
Jun 24 · 89
An Unfamiliar Loss
AnxiousOcean Jun 24
One by one
I am losing my pieces
Yet all your pawns
Are still unmoved
Unbothered, unbent
It is always a dead end
Jun 22 · 119
AnxiousOcean Jun 22
Mirror debris
Shattering through the sky
And a dwindling beast
Begins to cower
For he knows the hue of every blue
And he has been to the pit
But what he knows not for sure
Is that he needed it
Jun 11 · 69
Blue Hell
AnxiousOcean Jun 11
There is light at the end of a blue tunnel
But here is where calmness lies
It's tempting to reach that orb of hope
Yet I stayed in the grasp of twilight
Where butterflies are wingless
And echoes are unheard
I tried breathing underwater
Only to find out that I still can't
But know that even so,
For you, I am willing to drown
May 28 · 83
Too Late
AnxiousOcean May 28
They say that love is an open door,
And if so, then I'd rather close it.
Because by the time you come back,
Even the windows will be shut.
All the doors will be closed,
Just like the wounds I once had.
Now they're nothing but scars,
And you're nothing but a stranger.
Sorry, but letting you in
Will only make me bleed.
I suggest you leave,
Because I'm already healed.
May 26 · 52
Under an Influence
AnxiousOcean May 26
I don't have a sweet tooth for alcohol,
But I feel drunk.
My head's a galaxy,
Only it's not beautiful but messy.
I wanna believe I've finished a few bottles,
But my tongue wouldn't agree with me.
Although my heart would do so,
And it deduces that I am drunk.
The real question is, "With what?"
I guess only my brain can tell.
It was probably something beyond the calendar.
Interrogate my skin,
Or the scars beneath those layers.
Maybe they knew who did what?
Maybe they have the wine I shot?
Or is it wine --
Or just some fancy, heady memories?
Was it pain that was half full inside the glass?
Because it didn't look like *****.
But again, how can I be certain?
How can I tell?
If I feel so drunk right now.
May 22 · 59
The Boat
AnxiousOcean May 22
Heading nowhere, we started to sail --
One afternoon, in a wooden boat.
Relief had been all that I'd exhale
As I cleared my tired, sore throat.

I had been shouting for a while,
I mean... who would not?
If comfort lies less than a mile,
One would celebrate and scream a lot.

That is until you decided to dive,
And immediately promised to be back at five.
You quickly jumped from the boat,
And through a lifesaver, you were afloat.

The sun was almost drowning
As I waited in the boat of wood.
Not a single soul was returning;
I really thought that you would.

From a distance, on the same blue water,
A familiar face was sailing elsewhere.
Without a word, I sailed afar;
Guided by the drowning star.

I left the wooden boat on the shore --
Heading nowhere, just like before.
May 20 · 49
AnxiousOcean May 20
The same old song,
Entangled on a phonograph;
Playing all day long
Even when the notes seem rough.

I am asking the moon once more
If she saw the balloons I freed.
The balloons I used to enamor
Are now nothing but words to bleed.

I yearn to see the same old colors
Until I realized I closed the door.
I need not another Trojan horse,
But a way to heal my core.

In hopes of taming the pain,
Fatigue starts to creep in.
Kindly fetch me another train;
Let a new day begin.
May 19 · 106
Somewhere Incomplete
AnxiousOcean May 19
Unfinished songs, poems,
Letters, and messages --
And here I wait for more.
Perhaps a decent ending,
Or a bit of certainty will do.
But maybe that's just how
Some things are meant to end.
May 18 · 40
An Unheard Song
AnxiousOcean May 18
Once again, a rhythm of tears
Demanded to be sung--
Only to harmonize the voice of a child
Imprisoned inside his chest.
He has all the notes he needed
As well as the lyrics he wrote.
But when shall the singing start?
The gods won't give him a stage;
He might now be silent in rage.
May 7 · 229
Solitary Shelter
AnxiousOcean May 7
Alone within a thick wall,
With no one to stay,
He reminded himself,
"It is better this way."
May 2 · 76
Same Ground
AnxiousOcean May 2
An old room
is the best place
to collect dust.

And I am standing
where it is best
to wait for time to reverse.

Although, I guess, it will not...
I am still standing
Apr 30 · 38
AnxiousOcean Apr 30
It was all my fault
Or at least it's what my mind wants to believe
I never blamed you for a thing or two
Because how could I
If you just left without saying goodbye?
Apr 27 · 50
AnxiousOcean Apr 27
fog, mist
my thinking is blurry
along with a heart
that starts to weary

life has been quite an abstract
but now allow me to self-destruct
Apr 25 · 39
Anticipating Rain
AnxiousOcean Apr 25
your name is a lightning bolt
that stuns me whenever I see it
and I wish that it won't anymore
but it still does
and I still see your name
and when I do
It flashes in the middle of the dark sky
as if waves of rain are about to pass by
bringing back the fool that I once was
and the memories we once had
Apr 21 · 79
The Rainy Season
AnxiousOcean Apr 21
The season has come yet again
Where tears are writing like a pen
Writing odes and ballads through pain
Making songs in line with the rain
This is a great day to marry the night
And a perfect time to be forthright
Just let all the raindrops pass by
And consider them as a mother's lullaby
Although most would find it chaotic
To some people, it is music
Need not to be in denial
For it is completely normal
To whoever feels like crying for a long period of time, know that everyone has his own pace be it in adapting to certain changes and/or moving forward. After a very painful event, it is completely okay to feel sad for a long period of time, and it is completely normal.
Apr 7 · 114
AnxiousOcean Apr 7
Need not to awaken the sleeping beauty;
****** tears have sparked calamity already.

A rainbow shall not be awaited;
Storms are nowhere near the clock.
What good is it for a clown to weep
If the city lights have tamed the aftershock?

Would the whispers of a heart
Still be worthy of an ear
If they became the echoes
Of the past of a foreseer?

The sand knows the way home,
And the moon knows that so did I.
But tossing the hourglass again
Is the mistake I pledged to never try.

The mirror does not long for fairy tales,
But anything more than a home.
Apr 1 · 140
AnxiousOcean Apr 1
I tried chasing some fireflies,
In hopes of a good art.
I kept them inside a jar,
Shake 'em, when it's all dark.

They couldn't break the whole night,
But they could make it even better.
For a moment I just smiled;
Happiness exceeded any letter.

I made a worthy art or two,
And I wanted to make more.
But the fireflies wanted something else:
To be free, just like before.

I don't know how, but it was broken.
They have flown already too far.
And in silence I realized,
It is I, who has been inside a jar.
Mar 26 · 230
AnxiousOcean Mar 26
A white silhouette waiting afar
Under a bleeding mirror, I ran
The stars dived in the honey lake
Where sweet embers sprouted late

If you could hear the wind chimes
Floating by the moonlight's memoirs
Then you are near the drowning city
Where everything is but debris

Do not go too far where you are standing
For the deaf eyes can smell your fears
I suggest you cry, cry even harder
Unless you can breathe underwater

When someone asks for your help
Let the owls feast on his blood
The origami rose will cover your ears
As the faceless shadow will lick your tears

I was about to reach your silhouette
But the White Rabbit led me elsewhere
My eyes opened suddenly
And it was the first time I woke up happy
Mar 13 · 1.4k
Stargazer (Haiku)
AnxiousOcean Mar 13
City lights above
Piercing through the darkest night
I don't want to sleep
Feb 3 · 127
Never Again
AnxiousOcean Feb 3
Let gravity guide you to certainty
It is where you can, again, be whole
Tame your past over a cup of tea
Do not fall, again, to the rabbit hole
Let's be wiser.
Feb 2 · 202
A Tree's Ache
AnxiousOcean Feb 2
Red, gold, red, and gold--
a rhythm that made autumn end.
It might end you, too,
but in a different hue;
your blood and your friend.
I mean, a friend is someone we treasure; thus, losing one is like losing a gold. And as we lose one, we can't help but bleed, can we?
Jan 7 · 287
Perfect Tragedy
AnxiousOcean Jan 7
words strangle my gravity
and breathing is not easy
how do I write a piece
if I couldn't be at ease?
have you ever felt sad and you suddenly felt the need to write? but you couldn't even express whatever you're feeling through a single line. that's my own kind of tragedy.
Dec 2019 · 78
AnxiousOcean Dec 2019
The sun seeks for my smile,
for it mirrors warmth from a mile.
Even flowers demand for my kiss,
for they know it is my sigh of bliss.

Oceans of blue beg me to calm down,
but I could not whenever you are in town.
The city lights ask for my hugs;
they are jealous of the ten thousand lightning bugs.

My bed often entreats me to stay,
but I still want to meet you halfway.
A song would always plead for my heart,
but this one's reserved for a very special art

The angels pray for my trust at night;
but I only pray for you, my light.
The world craves for my love;
And I hope that you are the world that I have.
Dec 2019 · 240
Storm (Haiku)
AnxiousOcean Dec 2019
Let the gray beast roar
Let its white blood blind the night
Its crying stops mine
Sep 2019 · 84
I have God
AnxiousOcean Sep 2019
I've screamed screams that no one has ever heard.
I've been to worlds that no one has gone to.
I have cried tears that no one has ever saw.
I have scars that I refuse to show to anyone.
I have known truths that most are not aware of.
I've seen things that most people don't see.
I have known failures that most are afraid of.
I've won battles that no one can ever survive.
I have experienced nightmares I didn't choose to tell.
But most importantly,
I have been loved with the love that no one can ever give.
I have God... and that's more than enough.
Aug 2019 · 259
Not Autumn Yet
AnxiousOcean Aug 2019
It was not autumn yet,
but I witnessed how the leaves did leave.
I watched every bit fell down,
and how sad the trees had become.

It was not autumn yet,
but I was seeing red and gold.
The blood of the treasures I kept,
now long gone; they were swept.

It was not autumn yet,
for I could still feel the winter's air.
But the breeze became much colder,
even when there came summer.

It was not autumn yet,
but what season could this be?
When everything, so light, so pure,
would become a perfect tragedy.
Feel free to interpret the poem,

but if you were to ask me, I am simply referring to those who left me behind.
Jul 2019 · 199
When The Dawn Breaks
AnxiousOcean Jul 2019
The flowers envied your every laughter
For thou art as vibrant as a city
When you smiled, I could hear the mouths’ murmur
And even Belle could not stand your beauty

Behind those miles of glasses were your eyes
Those eyes offered the gentle soul of thee
Can you still recall our dance? The pain sighs
Our memories still buzz like bees to me

Oh sun—so shiny, so shimmery—run
Bestow us the deafening peace I seek
For when the world swims beyond the ocean
Romeo’s love for Juliet would start to speak

You are the water that brought me to thirst
The moon knows that you’ll always be my first
Here's what I did following the Shakespearean sonnet rhyming scheme of abab-cdcd-efef-gg
Jul 2019 · 164
AnxiousOcean Jul 2019
The gray war drew blood--
Feeding the verdant pastures.
White cavalries roared--
Breaking a child's faith.

But not for me;
In fact, I relished the scenery.
For the every song of raindrops
Quenched my every teardrop.
Jun 2019 · 192
AnxiousOcean Jun 2019
I tried to write a poem
for poetry's my friend
but even a nice poem
couldn't make this pain end

poetry could not help me
neither could I help myself
I was finding a way to end this pain
and then I found a bookshelf

I tried to read a story
for books' could have made me smile
but even a neat book
couldn't make me smile for a while

books weren't enough
those books on the shelf
the only way to end this pain
is to end myself
Jun 2019 · 113
I Want To Stay
AnxiousOcean Jun 2019
"I want to stay,"
I told myself.
I want to enjoy every bit of second,
every moment, every day,
every time I get to distract myself
with the happiness I feel.
But I shouldn't,
for I should not.

Perhaps staying
can be deadly sometimes.
No matter how much you wanted
to stay on the same boat,
on the same ground,
or the same memory
over and over again,
eventually, you will eave.
Because you'll need to leave.

Perhaps leaving
isn't that bad after all.
No matter how much
you wanted to hold on,
on the bond that took years to build,
on trusts that took seconds to break,
and even on promises that took forever to wait.
Eventually, you will let everything go,
for you need to let go.

A person, an emotion,
a feeling, a sensation
would somehow be enough
to prevent me from growing.
Because of that single reason,
a child continues to wonder.
But I realized that I shouldn't,
for the reason that I should not.

This time I free myself.
I shall wear thicker skin.
I shall heighten my walls even higher.
I shall make my heart a little bit colder.
Perhaps it's not bad at all.
Perhaps it is what I need after all.

I may stay on the same ground,
but with a different pair of shoes.
I may stay on the same boat,
but with a different direction.
I may stay on the same memory,
but with a different me.

Don't get me wrong,
I want to stay, I really do,
but I do need to grow.
let's vent things out
Jun 2019 · 354
AnxiousOcean Jun 2019
Sa isang patak,
Ito ay bubuhay;
Sa isang dagat,
Ito'y pumapatay.

Mamutawi man ang takot
Sa bawat pag-agos,
Mamumutawi naman ang saya
Sa bawat pagbuhos.

O kay gandang pagmasdan
Mula sa pampang.
Ngunit sa taglay nitong lalim,
Mananatiling mangmang.

Sa bawat pagbuhos ng ulan,
Sa pagbukas ng gripo,
Magbuhat man ng sakit o sustansya,
Mananatiling tubig ito.
****: Ikumpara ang iyong sarili sa isang bagay at gawin itong isang tula.
May 2019 · 295
AnxiousOcean May 2019
I am not very certain
if being alone makes one strong.
Because if it is,
then I'd rather be weak.
You've always wanted me to be strong,
to be better, to be cold, to be a stone;
yet all I've ever wanted is for you to stay.
Would you consider me weak?
I care not--
even Adam needed an Eve.
Maybe I am not afraid to be alone;
I'm just afraid that you'd leave.
May 2019 · 429
AnxiousOcean May 2019
beg for love
beg for care
beg for something
that won't ever be there

beg for attention
beg for some ears
beg for something
that won't help with your tears

beg for assurance
beg for permanence
beg for something
that causes emotional violence

beg them to stay
beg for a friend
beg for someone
who will leave you in the end
i beg u
May 2019 · 276
AnxiousOcean May 2019
Ain't loved;
I couldn't be loved.
And it's okay,
not because it is okay,
but because it has to be okay.

suddenly, I could be loved.
And it's all good,
not because they would,
but because I should.
luv urself
May 2019 · 62
Black Hole
AnxiousOcean May 2019
I have this huge hole within me
a part of me is missing
I couldn't help myself
couldn't be helped by somebody
'cause all I'm good at is breaking

I keep on making mistakes
I keep on being a mess
Even if a thousand times my soul breaks
I just keep drowning in darkness

I push everyone away
away from me, away from pain
because that's the only way
for them to move a mountain

I couldn't do anything, but get things worse
I keep them all in my purse
because I am just a black hole
nothing but a black hole
May 2019 · 767
AnxiousOcean May 2019
Here I am again,
feeling what I feel,
thinking what I think.
I have tons of emotions inside,
tremendous storms, as they may.
but never could I ever find
the words for me to say.
May 2019 · 621
Dry Storm
AnxiousOcean May 2019
Pain makes people wage a storm.
Most would release the beast in any form
without hesitation, without fear;
without minding the damage,
they wouldn't even mind the effect they manage.

As they release their storm,
they thought they could also release their pain;
but little do they know,
that they actually pass on the pain.
Instead of having it ended,
it continues to grow;
resurrecting, from one to another soul.

But mine is different--pain makes me silent.
There's this huge hole within my soul
which I couldn't even detect.
There's this heavy atmosphere
that prevents me from breathing.
I would like to wage a storm, but I couldn't.
I would like to release my pain, but I couldn't.
All that I could do is feel it.
Endure it.
Suffer from it.

Silence is all that I could offer the world;
not a storm, not a beast, or anything
that would cause some damage to others,
but silence that only brings damage to myself.

At least I wouldn't be able to hurt others;
the pain would just end within me.
Or so I thought it would end.
i couldn't use any rhyme this time. this is more like my raw thoughts without any drop of creativity. yeah well I just need to release something, sorry.
Apr 2019 · 245
Final Countdown
AnxiousOcean Apr 2019
one, two, three teardrops fell;
behind these, you were the reason I can tell.
four, five, six steps away;
without anything, you are the cause, I say.

seven, eight, nine miles from peace;
I've been bothered, because of you at ease.
ten, eleven, twelve pairs of dresses;
next time, you won't be the reason of this sadness.
it's the final countdown!!!!!!!!!!!
Apr 2019 · 849
Doubtless Dauntless
AnxiousOcean Apr 2019
the next time you doubt yourself,
don't; it would be pointless.
from doubts and pressure, free thyself;
for you are made to be hopeless.

you are not good, you will never be;
thy value shall always be unseen.
that's why you shall love yourself truly,
because of being a needy you've been.

just play the music and sing along,
until you reach the other half.
you are not weak, you're strong;
but you are not strong enough.
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