Touch me
I need to know I'm alive
Touch me
For the reminder that I'm loved
Touch me
with a hug of support
Touch me
for no reason
Touch me
I'll feel the most in my heart
Touch me
with your
words
hands
love
needs
gifts
nothing
all.

I'm not sure.
I'm unclear.
But I can tell you what I feel.
I feel a passionate cloud stuck in in my chest.
So vague, so foggy, the mist.
Constantly I breathe more in,
as it suffocates me.
Though I know something clear is being built.
Something I fear is being built.
And when I breathe it out.
I will be sure.

Hello princess,
You're beautiful,
Kind,
****,
Funny,
You make me smile,
I'm going to hug you close and deep,
Stare into your soul,
Hold your hand.
But I don't want you,
Remember, we're just friends.
There I was falling in love, then love didn't catch me.

Sweetheart I saw you today.
Again you made my heart so sweet.
Sweetheart why'd you go away.
Sour flavors make me weep.

Walk away my dear
we are on different journey's
Don't you know that when you glance back
I get a piece of hope.
Don't you know that you shouldn't look back?
I guess I wouldn't know you looked back if I didn't look back either.
Guilty

Im not a cactus.
I am a rose.
I have layers of petals.
I am not as discrete.
I am soft
I won't hurt you with needles.
Treat me like the rose I am
I need water
I can't thrive like a cactus can.
Tend to me, love me
and I will be beautiful.
Care for me, hug me
fill my red soul.

He looked fine. Fine with a y. Fyyyyne
However another guy had the best style, he could mismatch and make it fit.
Then again no man had abs like him, it was a canvas I longed to....
I will never forget the other guys eyes, his hazel eyes spoke to me.
How couldn't I mention the manly stance, broad shoulders, large hands man.
But honestly, I never saw beauty till I met blank.
Blank is kind, the kind that gives and expects nothing, for he
simply wants to see joy in me.
Blank is confident in himself, in a way that needs to prove nothing because he humble by nature
Blank is rational yet irrational in a way that strives and hopes.
Blank is funny, uplifting, ****.
Blank teaches me about myself, he makes me better.
I've never seen one as beautiful internally, which it illuminates externally.
Hopefully I meet blank.
_, I love you.

I just ate two bowls of cereal to make myself feel better.
Why do we pile on to the pain.
Why don't we dig the pain out
and then fill it with cereal?

I ate so much cereal to mask my pain.
I ate because I was rebelling against myself.
Now I'm burping up my cereal.
It doesn't taste good anymore.
Karma

I ****** up.....once again.
no, 6x8 doesn't equal 46, it's 48.
I know, well is an adverb, and I said I'm doing good.
Oh, he's there. I'll just flip my hair. **** I don't have hair.
I've known myself for 17 years, and I just spelt my last name wrong. awk
It's quiet, and I don't even know what that burp sneeze cough sound that just came out of my mouth was. So I will hum for now.
I'm singing passionately and loud because this is my song, that I apparently don't know the lyrics to. Why me.
and then finally, I couldnt explain how I felt.
but in all that was ****** up,
he understood me.

The
tone
of
his
voice
was
poetry
to
my
heart

We are opposites
And I like you
For every reason
That I'm not

Concerts
They overwhelm me with
a love for life I tend to forget.
Then I leave, wanting more,
motivated to live, yet depressed,
because I feel like I didn't get the rest.
Oh how the music, the tone, words, instruments
all of it.
Describe emotions so perfectly
for words can't capture it certainly.

You make my heart swell
Essentially it seems wonderful.
You make my heart expand.
My heart is full of love.
But think about it.
You make my heart swell.
The size disguise the pain.
When you hurt it
it swells.
So it's not all
that well.

How can I really articulate myself to you?
I shake and consistently smile.
My cheeks are in pain.
My breath stops.
The brain receives no oxygen.
I can't think.
My heart won't beat.
I guess, in a way I am perfectly articulating myself to you.
You make me loose control.

Dear Bosco
When I look at you, I see a true hu[man].
People always strive to be a real man.
Unfortunately the common definition of a man is skewed.
In turn those that have that definition are skewed too.
But what makes you a true man,
is that you are human.
You care for your family
so you are strong for us.
But you're honest with me,
and expose yourself emotionally.
You work so hard
I can only imagine the pain.
But in the work I see the gain.
Yet and still you stay humble.
This is what makes you so lovable.
You display a self control
I'm not sure I can get a hold.
You are not the definition of superior exterior.
You are not the definition of a lack in love
because you must be tough.
You are the definition of a human.
This makes you a man.
I know what type of man
who will hold my hand
because of you.

I'm pretty. I know I'm not ugly.
I decided that.
Beauty is a choice.
I take care of myself.
I love people.
So I am kind.
I smile for years.
I have empathy in my tears.
I laugh till it's pain.
I hurt and feel good.
I'm honest with them.
I'm honest with myself.
Yet, I still have no clue
how it has felt.
I have loved men.
Or at least I think I have.
I haven't been loved back.
This leaves me to wonder...
is it that...
I'm unlovable?

The other day I was so high
it was amazing.
I could not stop laughing and felt at ease
but as I went to sleep all that was left
was me.
I was lonely.
I was so low

I used to wish
but then I decided that
I'd rather be.
I will be.
I am.
I no longer wish.
I know I can

I wish I loved you
like I wish he loved me
but I don't.
I'll give it a try
because he never gave me one
that's the reason why
I wish I loved you
like you love me ***.
Because I hurt
knowing the pain that I felt
that you may feel.
Love is all too much
to deal
with.
I wish I loved you
so we could both be happy
but I don't love you
sadly
I'm so sorry
believe me

Love brings
Happiness
Happiness brings
Riches
Riches bring
Success.
Love, the domino effect.

We have so much
apart of us.
To give a little
can mean a lot.
To strip ourselves
we hope through vulnerability
we are felt.
As I put my trust in you
as I give you my words,
as I tell you all I can,
please don't use it against me
don't make it a sword.
I'm blindly sharing apart of me.
Don't drop me please.
I don't intend on falling on my knees.
But essentially that's what I'm doing.
I'm falling
just hopefully in to you.
Catch me?

Today I reminisced  about you
I miss you?
I miss the feeling?
I don't know.
I need a bandaid
I think my heart is bleeding a bit.

Dear almost lover,
I think I know why we were never complete
Why for you,
I felt so deep
but it never could be true.
It never worked because
you didn't love you.
When two love they give their all.
But you were vacant
Perhaps that's the cause?
So this is my letter to you
I'll tell you why I loved you.
You. were. so. bad.
The good kind of bad.
You carried yourself in a fearless manner.
I'm not sure if it was an act.
I was scared
and you would just do it
you never cared.
Yet, you cared so much
I liked it.
But you didn't show it enough.
So it kept me wanting more
you kept me guessing
what all of you was for.
Where your sensitivity stemmed from
Why you kept your empathy shunned?
But then there were those moments
you would give me some sort of
atonement.
You would open up, you would be fumin
It felt so human.
I don't know how to explain it all.
But for some reason I thought you were beautiful.
Or should I say handsome
because those looks. Dayum.
But I'm really talking about your soul.
Your soul saw everything,
I would run away but I'd be stuck
on its melody.
Your soul felt me
and made me feel myself.
But I guess it never really saw everything.
You needed just a little help
because you never saw you.
So you couldn't love me blind
But if I'm deaf
and wrong
Maybe have a melody
for a different song.
If you really saw the wonders of you
while our love wasn't true
Then I hurt and I feel better.
Because I'd rather you know
your wonders
than you be unaware
of your lighting
and only see your thunder.
So, simply you could've
just never loved me.
But I loved you.
and I hope you loved you too.
Yours truly,
No sincerely,
No, thats not the closing.
From me?
No.
Love,
me.

I dont like my liking of you.
I hope you like me too.
That way the liking will be two.
Then I'll like the likings we like.

You made me feel at peace
by stopping time
by locking away all the worries
simply we would float.
You made me feel nervous
by walking in
by walking out
by saying nothing
by saying everything.
You made me feel excited
with all the promises
with your spontaneity.
You made me feel angry
through the broken promises
the short comings
the lack
the ambiguity.
You made me feel love
by pounding my heart
through passionate touches
with a better me
to an uncontrollable inexplicable something.
You made me feel sad
when you didn't come back
when you did come back
when you were unsure of we
or maybe I was wrong about we.
Physically I could breathe.
Emotionally I was breathless.
But that's okay
because you made me feel alive.

I stand still in reflection
at how much has happened
how slow everything feels
how fast it all went
and how much can happen.
In short
the events in life
were fast.
In long
the current events
in life
feel slow.
I don't feel like I'm moving
which scares me.
But then I reflect
and see how I've come so far.
When I realize the speed through reflection
my mind wants to stand still
in awe.
But time waits for none.
With time I must move on.

It's been a while and they say time heals all
I thought you were fading away
but then I saw you
and my wound ripped open.
Perhaps I wasn't healed.
I just ignored the wound.
But then you came back and touched it.
Ouch, love hurts

Your so deep into my heart
That I'm sinking.
I can't breathe.
But when you do all of this to me
I've never felt so alive.
Suffocate me some more please

I am in control
I know when to start
I know when to stop
I can change if I want
I can stay the same if I please
I am disciplined
I am confident
I am strong
I am solid
but love
love changes all of that
for love
I am weak

I.
can't.
talk.
When I'm with you
I.
feel.
so.
much.
When I'm with you.
With our eyes,
lets substitute what we say and just gaze.
It translates better that way.

What if I'm the one who loves more
I give and give
He takes and takes
He says thanks
I forever wait.
What if he loves me more
and I can't help it,
unsatisfied,
unfair, his heart I tear.
What if our love for each other is to abstract
immeasurable,
inexplainable with words
only felt.

I thought I was just getting by.
No. I don't want to do that.
Perhaps if I rhyme,
I'll sound fine.
No. No. No
It's all wrong.
I'll save you from the cliche
that I wan't to magically inspire you with.
I'll stop myself from attempting to sound clever
with my rehearsed lines that I claim are ad-libs.
I'll tell you straight.
I. want. to. feel. passion.
The kind that weighs your chest down
from the moment your in unison
and separate into harmonies
as an emergent part
yet still together as a whole
like unison.
The kind that makes you feel pain
breaking your back
when one has hurt the back
of your friend
because you are one.
The kind that keeps you struggling
because the journey it kills
but the results save
so you continue to walk, run, drag yourself
till the end.
The kind that makes you focus
on one in a million and five.
The kind that makes you perceive
a new perspective of a million and six.
I. want. passion.
I want to feel together with something, someone, anything.
I want it to hurt deep.
The more blood that seeps
The more colors of passion
there will be.

Time is the hours, minutes, and seconds
that constantly change and only move forward.
Time is a period shared among people
filled with moments of sorrow
filled with moments of freedom
filled with moments of joy
filled with moments we wish to be in
again.
In sorrow, time can have an immense weight,
that we carry,
up a hill.
Time can ****.
In joy, time is a feather,
it flies away,
goes unnoticed,
quick and gone,
all done.
In most moments time seems to
give the rough and take the sweet.
But there are times
when time is not existent.
All is still,
I breathe in
and appreciate all that is right and wrong
I breathe out
and then, time goes on.

Untouched souls
are
whole because of the purity.
Untouched souls
are
holes because of the purity.

Your song was on replay and
Intentionally I pressed the pause button
But then you pressed play
How do I skip a song that's on repeat?
I don't want to love you anymore.

That sheering pain in my toe was wonderful
Why?
Because for 1 2 3 4 5 seconds.
The pain in my heart was absent.
The pain in my toe makes it hard to walk.
The pain in my toe is ripping my skin.
The pain in my toe is drilling my bone.
But the pain in heart makes it hard to breath.
The pain in my heart rips my dignity
The pain in my heart drills my soul.
So for a second longer,
please let my toe hurt.

I'm afraid of how comfortable we were.
Or I was?
I hope you were comfortable.
because I was.
I'm usually not comfortable around guys that make me shake.
But I'm shaking from excitement.
Excited that maybe
you are
as vulnerable
driven
humble
dumb
intellectual
loving
honest
and
genuine
as you seem.
I'm excited
that maybe
you could be excited
about me.

I want to eat three donuts
and gain no weight.
I want to learn French
and speak Spanish fluently.
I want to play the guitar
and sing a Beatles songs.
I want to give more love
and have a boyfriend.
I want to receive more love
and have a boyfriend.
I want no language barriers
between myself and my family.
I want to not stress
about working out everyday.
I want to write too much
and have many to appreciate it.
Most of all
I want to stop wanting so much.

I hate you
because I like you.

It's my heart,
and you own it.

Without you I feel fine,
but when I see you I'll want you.

You're doing nothing,
and causing chaos in my life.

Beautiful
Morbid
Chaos.

MISERY.
my
issues
stay
engulfed
This poem makes no sense

Eclectic thoughts sounds fancy.
If I make myself sound appeasing
then perhaps they cant see.
My eclectic thoughts **** me.

What is poetry?
Can it be anything?
Do I have to try to sound clever
by playing with my words?
Or are my feelings deep enough
to shadow the attention
on my word play?
Are words even enough?
Frankly words just brush the surface
of my feelings.
Or perhaps I have no idea
on how to articulate myself.