"yikes" poems
Often times people say go to the gym, “It’ll make you happy, and you’ll feel energized!”
These are some of the things I’ve experienced or thoughts I’ve manifested over my teenage years. Ahh yes great ol’ puberty! Onto adulthood, yikes!
Go to the gym and lose that extra weight that your family and so called “friends” have been passively judging you for.
Go to the gym, but don’t lift weights because you’ll get bulky, and no one will ever love you if you look like a female Hulk.
Go to the gym. Go to the gym. I hear this left and right. But I fear that I’ll embarrass myself and that everyone is watching me.
Anxiety and panic attacks hold me back. And what happens when that clinically depressed person is told time and time again to “just work out” and “get out of bed; it’ll make you feel great?” What if they just came down from a manic episode and crashed? What will people say then?
Well I know what I want to say:
This isn’t as simple as the morning blues or that feeling you have after listening to a sad song that reminds you of your past. (Not to disqualify those emotions whatsoever.)
Depression is the ruminating thoughts that no one loves you or ever will. It is feeling so empty that your appetite is nonexistent and your motivation to do what you once loved is gone.
Anxiety is holding your breath and forgetting to breathe, so you just sit there in pain until finally someone or something reminds you to release.
Release all that you’ve built up. Stop the isolation, and share what’s on your mind. It’s not easy. Trust me I know.
Two days ago I went to the gym, and yesterday I went to the gym. Can you guess what I did today? I went to the gym despite every fiber in my being telling me I couldn’t.
I had the support of my mom and sister. Find a gym buddy. Start small because all the machines and strong people can look intimidating. But they all started somewhere and now you can too.
Make a goal. Something that is not too small or too large. For me, I’m training for a 5K that’s in the beginning of May. It will be challenging yet doable.
Sometimes none of us knows what we’re doing, and that’s the beauty and challenges of life. Don’t quit after one try. Your journey is now starting its new chapter. Stay in the present moment, and keep going. I believe in you.
Mar 13, 2020
Mar 13, 2020 at 1:14 AM UTC
Should I hang with my friend who I haven't seen in a year or go meet this tinder girl?
Someone New - Hozier
I just can't put my finger on it.
something about her is goregous.
Baby Got Back - Jonathon Coulton
You're right. It's totally her ***
Ugly Faces - Watsky
Shh, spotify, be nice. It's not her fault.
Do Better - Say Anything
Okay okay, you're right. I'll bring her home.
All Time Low - Jon Bellion
Oh c'mon, She's not that bad...
Proove Me Wrong - Dub FX
Well like... her personality is pretty cute.
Some Girls Are Crazy - Echo Movement
I can't beleive I just had *** in my backseat.
Glad You Came - The Wanted
Yikes. All the girls dropped from this party. it's just gonna be me and my three dude friends.
*To Many ***** On The Dancefloor - Flight Of The Concords*
I completely agree. Should i go or just come up with a ****** excuse to leave?
*You Don't Have To Be A ********** - Flight Of The Concords*
You're right i'll leave. What should i tell them?
Working - I Fight Dragons
No i already told them i got the day off. That wouldn't work.
My Buddy's Back - Big D and The Kids Table
Oh perfect!
Sleepyhead - Passion Pit
Yeah I should go to bed.
Let me finish this poem first.
Go To Bed - Ookla The Mok
I'm stuck on this line.
What's a good word to describe Port Veritas? Like... one word?
Home - Phillip Phillips.
That's adorable... you're so right.
See You Again - Wiz Kahlifa
**** you spotify that was super uncalled for. Now i'm bummed out.
Get Over It - Ok Go
Dude. That's like super insensitive
Ungrateful - Streetlight Manifesto
No i'm not ungrateful. I love you, you just don't need to make me cry when i'm down in the dumps like that.
Lean Into The Fall - Mona
I guess you're right. Fine. Thank you.
All The Stars In Texas - Ludo
That's the nicest thing that anyones ever said to me. I like when you do that.
Like or Like Like - Miniature Tigers
Uhh, i guess like like. You're pretty much my favorite app.
R U Mine? - Arctic Monleys.
I think maybe you're moving a little fast spotify... i don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment.
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys
This is getting weird. I'm going to bed.
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
Okay no, seriously i'm turning you off.
Don't Unplug Me - All Caps.
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 6, 2016 at 12:55 AM UTC
are we really woke as much as we all claim to be?
or are we woke to ease our minds, which ain't reality?
of course we've signaled heavy change, i won't deny that's true
but let me have your ear for now, give you another view
are you really woke because you post a rant on twitter,
but bop to Chris Brown's music even tho we know he hit her?
are you really woke cause you were born into the slums,
but if you make it out,
you forget where you are from?
are you really woke because you claim to love black hair?
but only like the softer textures, is that really fair?
are you really woke 'cause you admire that 4c?
but put down girls who have relaxers, wigs, or wear a weave?
are you really woke because you claim to love all people,
but if ya boy is gay you will denounce him at the steeple?
are you really woke because you say you know what's right,
but ostracize your fellow blacks,
simply cause "they talk white?"
are you really woke because you claim to love all colors,
but date a darker women? yikes! you'd rather find another
are you really woke because you claim you've got insight,
but if i am depressed, you say that mess is for the whites?
i bring up all these issues not because i hate my own
i bring up all these issues just because they're never shown
and if we are to grow and prosper,
thrive and shed our past,
we need to have these conversations,
make sure that they last
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 1:59 PM UTC
A mob boss for president…
Yikes! That's what we've got--
One who profits from crime
Without a second thought;
Who keeps his family close by;
Who's close to each paisano;
Who looks less like a Lincoln,
And more like Tony Soprano;
Who praises convicted felons,
And pardons them as well;
Who cares less about country
And more about his cartel.
Loyalty is his mantra.
His underlings owe him all.
He sounds like a mobster when
His back's against the wall.
He'll rip you a new one if
You ever decide to flip
And prove that you're a rat,
Or try to give him the slip.
"Flipping should be illegal,"
He brazenly repeats.
Without it he knows there'd be
More crooks on the streets.
A power-hungry bully:
It's his goal to be one.
Listen to his rhetoric:
"I know a rat when I see one."
His fixer threatens reporters
And does the boss's bidding.
But when he seeks revenge,
The boss isn't kidding!
Driven by ambition,
Egomania and greed,
He lets mob ethics guide him
To always take the lead.
He's the kind of guy
You read about in books.
Watch how he surrounds
Himself with other crooks.
Those who cooperate
With law enforcement will find
That he retaliates
If ever he's maligned.
Top decision maker,
He gets such a thrill
Promoting or demoting
Anyone at will.
Having a no-good mob boss
As leader strikes a nerve
Because it's hard to accept
That that's what we deserve.
-by Bob B (8-25-18)
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 10:56 AM UTC
Golden sun sets on the concert house;
The hellish day, it’s now been dowsed.
Asphalt night and onyx skies,
Crowds and crowds of endless size.
Yet it rises on the wooden stage;
Burning, scorching, lunar rage.
Curtains of lapis suspended,
For a show that’s highly splendid.
The bands, they take up their instruments,
Checking function with much diligence.
The azure slides, the crowd’s boisterous,
Let’s send them home filled and joyous!
Strum and strike, music sounds and hikes.
Mystically does it flow, no break or pause.
Number after number, avalanche of applause.
Now they’re screaming and whistling! Yikes!
The night wears on, and sapphires glisten,
In skies of turquoise and warm transition.
Marmalade sunrise, it goes on and on!
But nowhere in the hall is there a yawn.
The crowds recede like biped cattle,
An endless, drunken, random rabble.
The next noon, the hall’s still defiled.
Music echoes in their heads, meanwhile.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 3:26 PM UTC
Pathetic.
That’s what I’d call you.
Just plain miserable
and manipulative.
You tricked me into giving you the world .
Deceived me into believing that you’d never do me *****
You blinded me by your lies
“Forget about them , you have me.”
But , I didn’t really have you ..
Did I ?
You took what you wanted .
You let me put you before myself .
But ?
I don’t even blame you .
Maybe if I would’ve been in your position ,
Being offered the world
And only being asked for friendship in return ..
Maybe then I would’ve robbed you of your trust .
And your love .
You were my best friend .
My ace ,
My platonic soulmate .
And I treated you as much .
But, what was I ?
To you ,
What was I ?
A personal tutor ?
Remember those last two essays that you just couldn’t get done ?
Who helped you ?
Who stayed up after an exhausting day at work ,
After having to bike home in the cold and rain ?
Just so you could pass and not worry.
Maybe , I was just a free ride .
Always taking you places ,
Always giving you the keys and letting you do whatever.
You filled the tank maybe twice
within a nine month period .
And I never once said anything .
Oh I got it , I was your ATM.
Whenever you needed money ,
I was glad to help .
Whether it was for an Uber so you could go to your volleyball tournament
Since your own “mother” couldn’t take you
Or whether it was for a Plan B because
YIKES
Your boyfriend didn’t know how to pull out .
Hm , I guess I was also a personal shopper .
Buying you clothes when I bought me some .
You didn’t wanna spend your money ?
That was fine .
I would spend mine
And you didn’t even have to ask.
I was everything except your friend
and that’s all I wanted to be .
I should’ve seen this coming .
I should have KNOWN .
Looking back
All I can see are the signs ,
Foreshadowing what was to come .
You started to change right in front of my own eyes
but I didn’t want to believe it .
Didn’t want to believe what I could clearly see .
You started to ignore me .
For days on end .
Living in the same house became something like a
Silent war .
Everyone against me .
Including you .
You started to disappear into your room .
There were no more lifetime movie marathons together .
No more staying up and goofing around together .
No more talking about any and everything together .
I lost you way before I knew I lost you
and that makes my heart ache
like a pre-existing bruise
getting hit over and over again .
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 21, 2018 at 7:42 PM UTC
September 2nd, 2016 I received my diagnoses.
Borderline Personality Disorder
Yikes....
But then it all started to make sense.
I understand myself now more than I ever have before.
But try explaining this to a friend, a lover, a family member.
"Borderline of what?"
They all ask.
Let me explain....
I am on the borderline
The borderline of love,
and of hate
I love so deeply,
I can make you feel like you're on top of the world..
But then I split.
And suddenly,
I hate you,
I hate you,
I hate you,
But don't leave me.
please don't ever leave me.
Love me,
Love me.
Leave me behind.
I'm the borderline
I can be the happiest of people.
But also the most depressing.
See when I feel happiness
I see that the sun shines brighter,
I notice the good in the little things.
When I'm happy l,
I feel invincible.
But then...
In the blink of an eye,
I split.
And suddenly,
I'm the lowest of the low.
I'm standing on that edge,
Hoping to God I have the courage to take one more step.
To end it all.
Staring down that bottle of pills,
feeling like swallowing them maybe wouldn't be so bad.
I am on the borderline...
of your best friend,
And some days,
your worst enemy.
I push you away,
I pull you too close.
The borderline of loneliness,
and never really being alone.
I am on the borderline,
The borderline of insanity.
The borderline of my sanity.
I have borderline personality disorder,
And these borders have taken over me.
May 4, 2018
May 4, 2018 at 7:59 PM UTC
pitter patter go my feet as I walk over to visit my *****
swish swish go their lithe bodies as they waddle over to meet me
chomp chomp go their dextrous mouths as they consume the food i tossed into their tank
click clack go their sharp claws as they pinch everything they see
ouch yikes goes my mouth as i scream in pain
stomp stomp go my heavy feet as i run away
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 3:36 PM UTC
How's your life?
How's your wife?
How's your stress?
How's your strife?
Made any progress yet?
Going up?
Going down?
Coming back around?
I just have one question
What is it that you've found?
Strategies for living
They come and go
One minute you don't know
The next minute you do
One minute you have it all figured out-
The next minute you're filled with doubt.
It's a twisted ******* mess
we're in.
You either keep it on going
or
You step on outside trying something else
Having no answers
doesn't help
You just gotta figure it out
How
to take care of yourself.
Yikes!
Good luck!
Good luck
Good luck.
It's a motherfuckin'
life
we're living -
Don't you think?
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015 at 11:30 AM UTC
Used to tell 'em not to cut my hair too short,
When I was young-old,
Nowadays I just tell him cut it short,
so it
Spikes...Yikes!
Makes me realize,
Vanity is one of my
Oldest friends,
And also, one of my
Oldest enemies.
I like Bob Dylan's songs,
Like him better these days,
When younger voices cover him,
And I hear his word-songs differently.
Oh I love to laugh,
Especially at myself,
Silly boy in the mirror,
Who the heck are you Grandpa?
I am,
The Times They Are-A-Changin'
Nowadays, I'm growing down
May 23, 2013
May 23, 2013 at 10:03 PM UTC
You're just my type
Everything I like
I've got you in my sight
Caught in the spotlight
Damn...it's so bright
Give it a try, I just might
This could be so right
Even the perfect height
Being with you is like full flight
Higher than a child's kite
You even got the same musical likes
Not even scared, no fright
My heart skips beats, yikes
You and me, that'd be tight
I think it could work, quite
Trust me, I don't bite
*How else to explain it,
Other than to write?*
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015 at 11:47 PM UTC
when I was a teenager I played basketball
my long range shots made good strikes
each one did of the spectators greatly enthrall
opposition teams would say the word yikes
after I'd place a three pointer in the hoop
my long range shots made good strikes
the coach loved having me in the troop
effective at getting an extra point for the tally
after I'd place a three pointer in the hoop
my other team members would always rally
they'd be spurred on to play a tip top game
effective at getting an extra point for the tally
our basketball team made others look lame
we gave it our all on the court to be victorious
they'd be spurred on to play a tip top game
every girl on our home team played glorious
we gave it all on the court to be victorious
when I was teenager I played basketball
each one did of the spectators greatly enthrall
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013 at 7:10 PM UTC
i have an unpopular opinion
the title there is now, call it:
musician, programmer, writer, designer, editor...
this is me. this is all me.
i'm no master at one, i'm no jack of all trades,
i'm master of some.
you see,
this thing doesn't make you who you are
you can't be defined by your careers
or even your hobbies.
they're supposed to complete you
and make you whole.
not some competition who gets what the best
don't sweat it, you have your own path
you like making music? good. you're a musician
you like programming? yikes. you're a programmer
you like writing? nice. you're a writer
you like designing? brilliant. you're a designer
you like singing? awesome. you're a singer
only you can define who you are
you're not what others tell you
you're one-in-a-million
you're human
you're you.
– billiondays
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 4:54 PM UTC
When I have fears I won’t get likes
After posting my senseless selfie (taken in my bathroom),
After tweeting a witty, wasted “Yikes!”
Upon seeing the latest Cyrus escapade on Reddit come afternoon;
When I behold, upon night’s starred face,
I see it through my IPhone’s two-dimensional screen,
And I think that’s what’ll get the rest of the race
To notice me, after all I’m important – I don’t mean
To demean, but I’m the fairest creature of the hour;
I sometimes fear that you shall never look upon me,
Well I never have to worry for now I have the power
Of unreserved reticence to bestow upon thee –
**** the hollowed experience, the heart, the mind lag;
For my exhausted existence has been validated #420yoloswag.
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 20, 2013 at 3:54 PM UTC
may we have some nicer weather please?
At least some sunnier days than these!
It's been so cold and unbelievably wet,
it's horrid enough to get upset.
It's a bit like April but in reverse,
instead of better it's getting worse.
Can't make any plans to go outside
for a short walk or bicycle ride.
Whenever I get ready to leave the house,
heaven looks like I'm in for a douse.
Sometimes I go out in spite
and realize I'm not watertight.
Then I get drenched to the bone,
it even destroys my mobile phone.
Worse yet after it's been warm,
the sky rips open a nasty thunderstorm.
That's the part when danger lurks
with thunder lightning and the works.
Because holding up an umbrella
can sometimes torch a poor fella.
But wait, before I get into hail,
earthly tempests like heavy gale,
tornados, hurricanes and the likes.
It's definitely not worth it, yikes!
Instead of giving myself a permanent frown,
I put the kettle on and try piping down.
Jul 5, 2021
Jul 5, 2021 at 3:27 AM UTC
oh god i would do anything to see leaves or fireworks or forget-me-nots or snow or tadpoles or anything extending beyond the current day
i'm sorry that our plans never made it to blueprints
is there something about me that screams impermanence?
am i the human embodiment of a rest stop?
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 2:07 PM UTC
Holy Crap,
They Sold My Name!
No big deal, your name, your email, bought n' sold daily,
Like a baseball card, your picture and vital stats are on the internet,
Your credit card in the fine print tells you they love you much,
But the data they collect, might get credited to such and such.
You're fair game if your sign up for anything.
Now I know I am getting on in years,
Tho spry rhymes with die, I flatly deny
Any notion that
My great beyond is just around the corner!
But Holy Crap,
They Sold My Name!
Got a color brochure
Suggesting that when my travels are over,
A nice place to rest my head might be
St. Michael's Cemetery.
St. Michael's Cemetery
7202 Astoria Blvd, East Elmhurst
(718) 278-3240
Friday hours 7:00 am–5:00 pm
In case you want to check it out too...
Tho I live not in the Borough of Queens County,
My zip code but a hop, skip and jump away,
The cemetery adjacent to the Grand Central Parkway
Which is actually quite thoughtful of
The mass marketer who dreamed up this scheme
(And got paid a plentiful amount of bounty).
My kids could wave as they drive by,
On the way to LaGuardia or JFK, (airports)
And say, guilt free, they visit me regularly!
Sadly, their plot foiled,
I will be buried in
New Jersey soil,
Near to my pop, who liked the
Wide open spaces of suburbia
And shopping on Route 4,
Where the selection is great
And there is no sales tax.
But Holy Crap,
They Sold My Name,
And I am now target marketed,
Niched, pretty soon the boys from AARP
Will come calling, reminding me of the gap
Tween Medicare and the poor house!
Ok ok, grow up you say, tho your hair is full,
And not even a hint of baldness shines forth,
Nonetheless, its color is zebra striped gray,
And when someone says they got my back,
I think, please, please take it and keep it....
Oh yeah,
Dear St. Mikes
You might ask for some of your money back,
Cause this sily scribe is a member of the tribe,
Some call "those ***** (hint: it rhymes with Mikes),"
It starts with K and ends in yikes!
But thanks for thinking of me anyway.
May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013 at 5:32 PM UTC
Beautiful woman snaking downtown Sixth St.
You the one with the carwash hem
With slit cuts up to the "yikes" territory
Revealing a body
As if soliciting ideas
That everything is waiting for you
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 4:41 AM UTC
Black. Black. Black.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
OK, now I’m riding ******** on a brown horse,
a kindred spirit,
hugging its mane.
Take me to that meeting tomorrow so that I can
make that guy understand.
After that, I need to work out. Should I go for a run?
No wait.
Black. Black. Black.
I’m floating in black nothingness.
Each muscle relaxes in sequence.
My mind is blank.
I am everything and nothing.
Nothing? Shoot, I forgot to fill out that 401(k) rollover form.
Don’t forget that. Must do.
Man, I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore.
That place was a piece of crap.
Speaking of crap, there’s that presentation I have to do Monday.
I bet there’s a good Dilbert cartoon to illustrate my point.
I should poke around for one.
That reminds me of this funny song by the Lonely Island
that I need to get. I wonder if iTunes has it?
Must check iTunes when I wake up so I can listen to it
on the way to work.
Tunes. Tunes.
OK Enya, do your stuff. Make my mind blank so that I can forget.
How much time do I have for this?
Ugh. 5:30. So just enough time to fall asleep before the alarm.
Since I’m looking at my phone, I might as well see if there are any emails.
Yikes! Stuff is broken.
OK. OK.
People are on it. It’s not my problem.
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 27, 2012 at 11:46 AM UTC
The wrong eyes
Ignited
Butterflies.
A stolen caress
Disguised,
Denied.
Self- destroying words
Thought; scrawling,
Doubling, dying.
A love poem
Pens itself,
Redirection in desperation.
Because--
The wrong eyes
Ignited
Butterflies
Last night.
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014 at 1:13 PM UTC
I had to write on anything I wished
There was this demand
So I decided to write on ****
Which goes down in troops
Entering the toilet's streams
A chocolate mousse it seems
You may say, you may say yikes
But that is how the toilet likes
Yes it smells! Yes it stinks
Yet its fun to watch it
Plop, drop and kink!!
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 9, 2020 at 2:14 AM UTC
“delete history”
I think it’s pretty gay for a bunch of sweaty queers
To be sharing spit w/ each other
In a ******* closet
I think my ***** smells like macaroni
I used to jack off to animals beign tortured
I used to tell my mom
Im not pretty
Im not pretty
throw rocks at your garage
"BAAAMMM"
It’s hard to come up with 4 things at once,
I want to play violin in a bathtub at 4 AM
Because 4am’s cool
And it’s not really night or morning
It’s just stinky
Im just a kid with their stinky feet on a splintered stool
Watching suite life of zack and cody
In a pair of boxers they/i haven’t changed for like 3 days
I have a bic pen bumper sticker tattoo on my ***
You made me **** your **** and feed your bunny
And you made me hate white boys
I generalize
I forget to feed my tortoise sometimes
I don’t forget to feed myself
Im not cool and skinny and white
Im fat and
I never forget to feed myself
I eat the stuff on my body
Im my own **** tree I beare my own fruits I think you
Should get used to how GROSS I am
I got heartburn
In all the wrong places
I got an ache below the waist
and a cold sore on my heart
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015 at 4:54 PM UTC
because
when you asked me
why i wasn't depressed, too,
i couldn't come up with an answer.
clenched teeth like yikes
like as if you already know my type
like as if you can already see right through me,
a glass door, transparent like
how i've always dreamed.
thunder in my stomach reminds me
of the thunder in my thighs
i close my eyes,
pretend i'm having an MRI
(mind over matter)
and maybe it'll calm me.
and would you be proud of how i cope?
like yo, this **** is ******* dope
just take a little ****
let it fill you up with the hope
you'll find in the smoke
that exhaled out my lungs,
disappearing like
a poem i have to hide
from you.
but you don't think this is poetry
no, no-
this is just me talking
(to myself)
Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013 at 1:11 AM UTC
Isn't SPAM a pain in the rear?
NOT the canned Spam that you can eat;
I mean the spam in your email mailbox.
It's so annoying and so indiscreet.
"Mark as Spam" sometimes works,
But obnoxious messages still get through.
It seems as though you always have tons
Of unwanted email staring at you.
Have you seen "Six Months to Skinny"
Or the "One-Pound-a-Day Diet"?
There's always "Hi, you're going to love this"
Or "Want a good time?" That one's a riot.
What about "Help with Alcohol,"
"Penny Stock Tips," or "Erectile Dysfunction"?
Or "Toenail Fungus"? Yikes! Please spare me.
They send out this nonsense with no compunction!
Breast augmentation? That I don't want.
Baldness cures? Well, if I let it
Be a problem and needed some snake oil,
I know exactly where to get it.
I often get messages dealing with meds.
Those boring messages always fall flat.
And then there's "Male Enhancement Madness."
No thanks; I will pass on that.
Have you received the message that goes
Something like "Hi, my name is Pam"?
The one that I find really hilarious
Is the one that reads, "This is not spam!"
Despite precautions, when checking your email,
You're bound to find SPAM--lying in wait.
I have to say that I much prefer it
Not in my mailbox, but instead on my plate.
- by Bob B
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 9:08 AM UTC