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"splotches" poems
The sky, black as the eyes that stare at it. Star-studded and as seamless as new programming. I look down, the streets molested by fluorescent splotches -- red ribbons of memory evaporate from the lights of motorcycles, gurgling by. A homeless, pregnant woman, in a bar, once told me, "Forgiveness is letting a prisoner free, then finding out that you were the prisoner." The sunset looks like an explosion of emotions no one understands, yet. The smudges on her lips look like the bruises of an orphan apple.
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Oct 1, 2015
Oct 1, 2015 at 11:37 PM UTC
An Orphan Apple
I like slandering your makeshift forceps. I hammer you down with watery *** and then spill the remainder on the couch. Yarg! A diamond’s worth at least a small intestine, and you are worth whatever’s left over after night has upended itself, poured sideways out of its shellacked crawlspace, and turned the basement sour. There are remnants of you in the park, some red stain by the baseball field where, if you’ll remember, you watched little leaguers build teamwork, and faint splotches on tree bark from your lactations which, if you’ll remember, happened every morning. I whisper your godforsaken name and am slapped in the head. The children cry when I smile. I cry when the children smile. Good heavens. I forbid you from not entering my corridor, even as I set up a barricade. I like my water scalding, my passion chilled, and I like you in easy-to- swallow doses. I like you in my eggs. Ditto the faucet, keyboard, the occasional lily, but do not mess with my pearls. I mumble of apodictic meadows while I sleep. What can I say? I do not mumble of unclogging your bathtub, which has a certain foul repute, and has grown heavy and ugly with your hair, which is everywhere, just as you are everywhere, and wherever, and so ********* hidden it’s not funny anymore, we stopped looking some millennia ago, after scouring the drainpipes, kicking down your doors, dissecting your mattress, speculating about your burial site, etcetera, and even so we have not been really looking all this time, have we, just blaring your name through the speakers, putting wrong numbers on our calling cards, leaving uncooked meat out on the back porch as if you were a raccoon, oh, or a lion, which you are not, or not quite, though, as the books say, you have honey in your stomach, and if you could but be ripped open we would taste and see.
0
May 25, 2010
May 25, 2010 at 8:21 PM UTC
Sleep-deprived Birdcall (in the year in which the weather cancelled the subcommittee on the weather)
I like slandering your makeshift forceps. I hammer you down with watery *** and then spill the remainder on the couch. Yarg! A diamond’s worth at least a small intestine, and you are worth whatever’s left over after night has upended itself, poured sideways out of its shellacked crawlspace, and turned the basement sour. There are remnants of you in the park, some red stain by the baseball field where, if you’ll remember, you watched little leaguers build teamwork, and faint splotches on tree bark from your lactations which, if you’ll remember, happened every morning. I whisper your godforsaken name and am slapped in the head. The children cry when I smile. I cry when the children smile. Good heavens. I forbid you from not entering my corridor, even as I set up a barricade. I like my water scalding, my passion chilled, and I like you in easy-to- swallow doses. I like you in my eggs. Ditto the faucet, keyboard, the occasional lily, but do not mess with my pearls. I mumble of apodictic meadows while I sleep. What can I say? I do not mumble of unclogging your bathtub, which has a certain foul repute, and has grown heavy and ugly with your hair, which is everywhere, just as you are everywhere, and wherever, and so ********* hidden it’s not funny anymore, we stopped looking some millennia ago, after scouring the drainpipes, kicking down your doors, dissecting your mattress, speculating about your burial site, etcetera, and even so we have not been really looking all this time, have we, just blaring your name through the speakers, putting wrong numbers on our calling cards, leaving uncooked meat out on the back porch as if you were a raccoon, oh, or a lion, which you are not, or not quite, though, as the books say, you have honey in your stomach, and if you could but be ripped open we would taste and see.
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38
I used to write with words Embodying my individual emotions In splotches of paint Now I write with phrases Stringing words together to paint a picture No longer simply splatter paint ... But a collage
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Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
A Collage
Life for me began as an egg,  it wasn't really a special egg, just a regular egg shape with some green splotches .So, you were just like the Platypus and the Echidna ?. Exactly like the Echidna and Platypus .Well not quite exactly, those creature are mammals, I'm more like a lizard, I'm actually part dinosuar. My mother is a dinosuar like creature known as a Dinosapien, But I'm more human than she was. I'm about 60 percent human , though I do posses Lizard organs , My eyes are , My heart and lungs are, So is my ****** my appetite and my tongue I can taste the air, Just like the snake . Em, but dinosaurs don't do that How dya know ?, Well because of science and Jurassic park Yah, I'm sure their both official sources, any way, so how come were having this conversation ?, well that's the one thing about dinosaurs , they were notorious for having one sided conversations with themselves, ya mean they were bonkers ?, no not crazy and once they left the nest ,were pretty much losers, I mean loners. What about mating?, Well they had wieners ya know, no, not that and what about female dinosaurs ?, well the females didn't care , they just wanted a male for about 3 minutes, if he was lucky maybe 3 and a half, the males were more concerned about ****** contact with the ladies. So, I guess there was a lot of dudes ******* each other then ? em, I think this conversation is over now
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Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 12:30 PM UTC
EGG
How distasteful you are, With your sundry splotches and jarring imperfections. Oh, you taunt me so! Whether your anathemas are reflected through the mirror or my own eyes. Oh horrible, hateful, heinous thing! I cannot bear to stare any longer. How sickly your color is-- A pallid yellow, like one giant bruise That has budded and blossomed In some unnaturally grotesque fashion. My blood boils, my pulse races And I raise my weapons to fight-- Two talons--claws honed to perfection. Be gone, you wretched scab! And so I tear, scratching furiously, Until no more of you is left. The blood is stuck beneath my fingertips, Or what is left of them. My sinews tremble, ****** and bare, As the last of my wallpaper Is ripped from my bones.
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Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 7:04 PM UTC
Yellow Wallpaper
That boy is warm freshly printed papers Stuffed in his overflowing binder That boy is the leaves being painted In early November That boy is Pokémon cards skewed all over the floor Who never signed up for this 'growing up' thing That boy is a huge stuffed frog on Valentine's Lessening the winter's violent sting That boy is obscure facts of the arcane A curiosity never satisfied   That boy has an ever expanding brain And long hands that reek of formaldehyde That boy is beautiful freckles "Splotches of melanin" as he puts it That boy is compliments I don't deserve And a love I just can't quit That boy is a long way down A relationship that's nowhere close to flawless That boy is worth the fall because that boy Is my dear Nicholas
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Jun 16, 2014
Jun 16, 2014 at 9:29 PM UTC
Nicholas
The amount of similies in love poems are ridiculous. They always remind me of how his eyes are as green as a Christmas tree or how his hair fell onto his face like a shadow or that when he blinked his lashes resembled butterfly wings or that his smile was similar to a crooked coat hanger. They never mentioned how his fingers were long and shaky like branches in the wind or how his shoulders hunched over like a good game of jenga or how the curve from his chest to his torso was as steep as a hill or that when I found the bruises on his stomach, they were like ink splotches all over a beautiful poem. They left out that his dad hit him like a train or that his mom lived in the house like it was a bar or that it would hurt like 16 bee stings when I saw a line of 16 scars on his left bicep or that the gasps in between his cries would sound like drowning or that his eyes can ombre to be as red as an egyptian sunset. They never warned me that he would come crashing down like an avalanche or how his constant expression depicted a shattered stain glass window- every piece beautiful but still apart. They could've said that reading the headline "local boy commits suicide" would numb me like paralysis or that hearing his last words would echo in my head like screaming in a cave or that his funeral I would say "loosing him was like an overcast of rain" except I lied, because losing him was like a flood and that his grave stood out like a redwood tree carved of stone or how his dad looked at his own hands like looking at maggots. Love poems never said that I would miss him like being homesick or that the drive to the cemetery would feel like skyrocketing to the moon or that I would refuse to play jenga with my little cousins or how I would hate hanging my clothes without seeing his smile. The amount of similies in love poems are ridiculous.
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Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014 at 12:29 AM UTC
Love Poem
The amount of similies in love poems are ridiculous. They always remind me of how his eyes are as green as a Christmas tree or how his hair fell onto his face like a shadow or that when he blinked his lashes resembled butterfly wings or that his smile was similar to a crooked coat hanger. They never mentioned how his fingers were long and shaky like branches in the wind or how his shoulders hunched over like a good game of jenga or how the curve from his chest to his torso was as steep as a hill or that when I found the bruises on his stomach, they were like ink splotches all over a beautiful poem. They left out that his dad hit him like a train or that his mom lived in the house like it was a bar or that it would hurt like 16 bee stings when I saw a line of 16 scars on his left bicep or that the gasps in between his cries would sound like drowning or that his eyes can ombre to be as red as an egyptian sunset. They never warned me that he would come crashing down like an avalanche or how his constant expression depicted a shattered stain glass window- every piece beautiful but still apart. They could've said that reading the headline "local boy commits suicide" would numb me like paralysis or that hearing his last words would echo in my head like screaming in a cave or that his funeral I would say "loosing him was like an overcast of rain" except I lied, because losing him was like a flood and that his grave stood out like a redwood tree carved of stone or how his dad looked at his own hands like looking at maggots. Love poems never said that I would miss him like being homesick or that the drive to the cemetery would feel like skyrocketing to the moon or that I would refuse to play jenga with my little cousins or how I would hate hanging my clothes without seeing his smile. The amount of similies in love poems are ridiculous.
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35
The early morning light; vibrant and glowing casts soft splotches of robin’s egg blue across the flesh of your stomach. Only a handful of short hours before words words words fell rapidly from us— Catching up on the thirty years that we had existed outside of one another’s lives. Now, there are no words— only sharp inhales and that which is tactile and tangible. I take you between my lips My mouth, your **** The physical manifestation of the palpable chemistry between us. In this moment: I was made for this. The first task of my day, your legs vibrating beneath my weight in carnal anticipation. ONE - wipe the lack of sleep from the corners of my eyes. TWO - take a shower. THREE - get dressed. FOUR - swallow the pills. FIVE - drink the coffee. SIX - Get. The. **** Done. But first— I’ll make you ***
0
Jul 23, 2019
Jul 23, 2019 at 11:28 AM UTC
6:20 AM
I’m meeting a friend tomorrow, one I haven’t seen in some years save for the incidental meeting a week ago that sparked this reunion My thoughts,      Reminiscent, tinged with melancholy for that time dotted with puffs of whip cream, sugar, sparkles, and joy spilling from the sky We were mages one moment, The elements at Our beck and call With a flick of our hands Warrior cats the next Loyally guarding Bravely scarring We lives in our world of monsters, and magic, and peach fuzz None of the extra complications, the insecurities, the splotches marring our once vibrant and lovely canvas, turning it from a rainbow sparkle unicorn pony...to a mare More time for text books Less time for novels More time for homework Less time for TV More time for crushes and heartbreak and insecurities and tears Less time to run straight ahead without a care in the world Reality, setting in like large boulders, so heavy and present, jutting into your life, impossible to unsee But, It’s not all planes crashing and burning, because now that she’s no longer made up into a sparkle pony, you can see the mare for the beauty she is
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Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 11:36 PM UTC
Life So Beautiful
Vast, empty, midnight hour, hunchbacked lampposts glaring over parasitic black earth choking its host. A parking lot, an ecosystem’s blemish— hot tar seeping into the pores of the earth like a stubborn blackhead in a lip line. When no cars burrow into the blackened hide like lice the great absence of life is an atrocity. I imagine myself skateboarding across the tier as the small town cops watch languidly with vague interest— A skateboarder’s paradise where wheels and accomplice minds roll across celestial barriers blasting infinite pulses into the microcosm. What greasy punks have their mother’s van parked here, huddling by the heat vents and jerking off into a Pringle’s can? Empty parking lot looks like a cemetery filled to the brim where headstones meld over a mass grave— delineated by white lines, the apparitions of vehicles and their hosts haunt the frozen space. Another horrible excuse to waste land, a wasteland in and of itself where Tom Eliot saunters aimlessly and buries the dead. The saddest sight to behold, this vacuous parking lot littered with stray shopping carts, phantasmal plastic bags, gum splotches, ***** stains, candy wrappers, cigarette butts, used condoms, lonely cops and patient drug dealers, ambulant skaters, tired punks, bored teenagers, somnambulists, stumbling drunks, hunchbacked ***** lights prying for life beneath its sallow gaze— The air encapsulated within the perdition stifling, the pavement below stifling, a constriction only visible when emptied of its contents. A cop wakes from their choking nightmare gasping to find themselves trapped, ****** in this parking lot where the walkie-talkie buzzes with the weeping and gnashing of teeth. The warehouse store looming above the waiting room lifeless, silent, dark countenance— Big Brother sees all in the gaping maw. Cascading before me, stretching towards the highway passing by, waiting for the panorama to finish scrolling, the treadmill to cease its cycle— all the while lamenting life’s absence and reveling in the potentiality it possesses.
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Dec 28, 2016
Dec 28, 2016 at 10:18 PM UTC
Parking Lot Lament
Vast, empty, midnight hour, hunchbacked lampposts glaring over parasitic black earth choking its host. A parking lot, an ecosystem’s blemish— hot tar seeping into the pores of the earth like a stubborn blackhead in a lip line. When no cars burrow into the blackened hide like lice the great absence of life is an atrocity. I imagine myself skateboarding across the tier as the small town cops watch languidly with vague interest— A skateboarder’s paradise where wheels and accomplice minds roll across celestial barriers blasting infinite pulses into the microcosm. What greasy punks have their mother’s van parked here, huddling by the heat vents and jerking off into a Pringle’s can? Empty parking lot looks like a cemetery filled to the brim where headstones meld over a mass grave— delineated by white lines, the apparitions of vehicles and their hosts haunt the frozen space. Another horrible excuse to waste land, a wasteland in and of itself where Tom Eliot saunters aimlessly and buries the dead. The saddest sight to behold, this vacuous parking lot littered with stray shopping carts, phantasmal plastic bags, gum splotches, ***** stains, candy wrappers, cigarette butts, used condoms, lonely cops and patient drug dealers, ambulant skaters, tired punks, bored teenagers, somnambulists, stumbling drunks, hunchbacked ***** lights prying for life beneath its sallow gaze— The air encapsulated within the perdition stifling, the pavement below stifling, a constriction only visible when emptied of its contents. A cop wakes from their choking nightmare gasping to find themselves trapped, ****** in this parking lot where the walkie-talkie buzzes with the weeping and gnashing of teeth. The warehouse store looming above the waiting room lifeless, silent, dark countenance— Big Brother sees all in the gaping maw. Cascading before me, stretching towards the highway passing by, waiting for the panorama to finish scrolling, the treadmill to cease its cycle— all the while lamenting life’s absence and reveling in the potentiality it possesses.
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72
a day with contrasts faded hazy smoke from distant forest burnings skylight diffused.. traffic at rushhour a monotonous din.. such muffled appearances invited a more exacting look.. white paint splotches accidental decorations to a darkened parkbench suggests here a distant supernova explosion.. a motorcycle pistons' high pitch report self identification in the traffic din.. an airliner's orange contrails laced the gray cloudless sky.. then a sudden appearance a haloed quartermoon light enhancement with circular glow.. yes contrasts seemed to speak on this day bursting the haze...
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Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:09 PM UTC
paint splotches
The threads, the temple Sing the rainwater! Splotches scattered. A boat? No... She is now the container. Then she brings The handfuls, washed.
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Mar 22, 2010
Mar 22, 2010 at 3:48 PM UTC
Rainwater
The evening is set, the sun bleeds down the sky, leaving splotches of stars in its path. The waltzing flames of the fire reflect into the beautiful eyes, solemn like plain dark cocoa powder. They make a gorgeous mirror, resembling the placid waters of the lake; imitating the hopelessness of the sky. A loud crackle sends tiny ginger lanterns up, to melt in with the constellations. We sit in a lovely silence until the last of the flames ebb away. Darkness envelops us the sliver of the moon can’t possibly infiltrate this night. Quietly, like the tide pulling back before a tsunami I get an eerie feeling eyes are watching I am prey to my own insanity until I can put the face to the eyes.
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Jul 19, 2011
Jul 19, 2011 at 10:56 PM UTC
Beautiful Eyes, Haunting Eyes
Not One Hours Rest, Moon Still Standing Nice and Tall Stars Still Hanging on, You Ride Hazily and Lazily to The City Train Station Seeing Faces, Seeing Slouched Shoulders, Seeing Tired Eyes all around you Waiting and Thinking of Home, Observing Yet Constantly Yawning In No Time You Are Propelled Forwards and Out Through the City Limits Metal Container Rattling, No Snooze Alarm for the Rising Sun The City Dissolves into the Back of Your Eyes as You Hit A Tunnel and Enter the Suburban Void Suddenly Fantastic Splotches of Greenery Drift into Sight, Dabs of Golden Light Float Like Dandelion Spores in The Air People Move Up and Down the Carriage Schizophrenically, Fidgeting, Never Considering Sitting Still, Not Even Once Please Just Look Out the Window Outside Battered Tree Trunks Lay Lifelessly in the Middle of Wondrous Sprawling Fields Clouds Ripple Insanely Throughout the Horizon, Livestock Enjoying Themselves While They Still Can What Follows This is a Series of Dilapidated Sheds and Abandoned Roads Leading Up into the Hills so Jagged They Must Have Been Cut by a One Single Colossal Breadknife
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Feb 28, 2019
Feb 28, 2019 at 8:30 AM UTC
Not One Hours Rest
I had forgotten the way to the hut that I had traveled to so many times, so many days. So many moons, I would say. But no one marks moons anymore, except hunters. And I am not one of them. Nor a gatherer. I listen to old men tell how they felled the stags. I do not believe them. I am a wayfarer, to use the archaic words I used to love, the words I had forgotten, the words of time in eternity, the words of orange leaves on towering pin oaks, the words of circles of shadows settling on Gavarnie, of snowfall in the Pyrénées. Sever Spain from the Continent. I had lost the language of the ***** spray-painted sheep scampering over gray-bouldered cirques on mountaintops, boulders turning into mountains in the shadows, in the fog, in drifts of snow. There are no words for this now. Bleating sheep drown them out, and yapping dogs. There are no words for the radiance of transcendence. “Climb higher,” I hear them say. Higher into the haze of clouds. Cirque: circle, circus. Acrobatics on hillsides, balancing acts on rockslides, skimming streams in hard-toed boots. I had forgotten the way to the words, far behind me. I have come to a gate, a steep stile in shadow. No sheep can pass. Nothing looks familiar; nothing looks strange. I saunter in a cloud of unknowing. I had known the words: worn, smooth as stone unscuffed by hard-toed boots, slick as snowmelt. Slide from France into Spain. This is the path of Santiago de Compostela, the route of St. James, who said, “Do not be double-minded, brethren.” I cannot remember if I have been double-minded in my travels. I had forgotten the way. If the words do not come, which mind sees the threshold; which mind circles the fog? What passes, what begins when we travel? I do not look backward. The way lies ahead, waiting, wandering away from the words. Splotches of lichen sprout orange and green. “Go no higher for safety.” No higher. They do not mention exile or ecstasy or the straight path of radiance. The cirque circles my words in mountain shadows. I must unlearn the art of travel, adrift in broken fields of stone. I had forgotten the way to the hut. Rocks obscure the path. Light ensures the path leads upward. Nothing is lost. Words hold their weight. Stags dance above me in fog.
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Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 3:19 PM UTC
Pyrénées
I had forgotten the way to the hut that I had traveled to so many times, so many days. So many moons, I would say. But no one marks moons anymore, except hunters. And I am not one of them. Nor a gatherer. I listen to old men tell how they felled the stags. I do not believe them. I am a wayfarer, to use the archaic words I used to love, the words I had forgotten, the words of time in eternity, the words of orange leaves on towering pin oaks, the words of circles of shadows settling on Gavarnie, of snowfall in the Pyrénées. Sever Spain from the Continent. I had lost the language of the ***** spray-painted sheep scampering over gray-bouldered cirques on mountaintops, boulders turning into mountains in the shadows, in the fog, in drifts of snow. There are no words for this now. Bleating sheep drown them out, and yapping dogs. There are no words for the radiance of transcendence. “Climb higher,” I hear them say. Higher into the haze of clouds. Cirque: circle, circus. Acrobatics on hillsides, balancing acts on rockslides, skimming streams in hard-toed boots. I had forgotten the way to the words, far behind me. I have come to a gate, a steep stile in shadow. No sheep can pass. Nothing looks familiar; nothing looks strange. I saunter in a cloud of unknowing. I had known the words: worn, smooth as stone unscuffed by hard-toed boots, slick as snowmelt. Slide from France into Spain. This is the path of Santiago de Compostela, the route of St. James, who said, “Do not be double-minded, brethren.” I cannot remember if I have been double-minded in my travels. I had forgotten the way. If the words do not come, which mind sees the threshold; which mind circles the fog? What passes, what begins when we travel? I do not look backward. The way lies ahead, waiting, wandering away from the words. Splotches of lichen sprout orange and green. “Go no higher for safety.” No higher. They do not mention exile or ecstasy or the straight path of radiance. The cirque circles my words in mountain shadows. I must unlearn the art of travel, adrift in broken fields of stone. I had forgotten the way to the hut. Rocks obscure the path. Light ensures the path leads upward. Nothing is lost. Words hold their weight. Stags dance above me in fog.
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19
Nature's contributions cascade along the steep trail. Numerous white patches and yellow splotches set on a blanket of green amid immense coverings so blue that it seems parts of the sky have fallen. Pinks protrude like boulders in a creek while reds try to hide around rocks and crevasses. Faded petals, past announcements of spring now reside alongside signs of birth, buds seeking an identity. Arrays of mature blossoms parade full and ripe along a path of short lives and slow deaths. Fallen relics, grey and mossy display across the emerald carpet, a memory of another time.
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Jun 15, 2015
Jun 15, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
Steep Trail
Category 2, not too bad... Swirling, whirling Pounding, hounding Rolling, Spinning But Manageable Category 3... Freight train, coming from every direction Major, but nothing new Just an hour Hold on, We'll pull through Pressure suddenly DROPPING Ears constantly POPPING Category 4, ... Too late My father's sharp Breath Pieces of homes ripped off like flakes of skin Leaving the ground barren Only the bear bones possibly remaining Till they too, are forcefully wrenched apart, A majestic structure, now reduced simply, to ******* Mother nature hurling trees in her wrath All- ... Gone, in a matter ... of seconds The roar mirroring the one, in my head-telling me to get Get OUT NOW The world... a symphony of rage, ferocity, passion Violent reds, splotches of orange and fuchsia That, I unfortunately, seem trapped within As the clashes and roars Waves and cutting wind Swirl around me, I wonder, is this, what an insect feels like, stuck in a washing machine? Come to bed, my father calls I go, reluctantly, to the pillows and covers that should be warm and soft, but to my touch, appear frigid stiff My eyeballs practically popping until at some unknown time, they shut and I SINK Sink sink ... ... Sunlight streams in, A dream? Perhaps... Possibly... Maybe... Oh, if only... Unable to contain the hope, I leap up to my window-      And freeze Debris- not trees, not homes, not anything Just a mass of objects rendered useless and stamped with the label of -DEBRIS ... My father says, No more running water My neighbor's little blue shed, ... in shambles Yet, as I step outside After what seems, like a long arduous battle I was an unlucky Bystander caught in the middle of Yet, Despite the churning feeling in my stomach          The broken battered ******* the ruined property       The, miserableness Of the situation But then again... As my father, fervently prays praises Thanks the Lord ... My mind, is blown away As I stand, In awe as my eyes take in the majesty of those few, solitary, hundred year old houses ... still standing
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Oct 18, 2018
Oct 18, 2018 at 10:35 AM UTC
Still Standing(Hurricane Michael)
Category 2, not too bad... Swirling, whirling Pounding, hounding Rolling, Spinning But Manageable Category 3... Freight train, coming from every direction Major, but nothing new Just an hour Hold on, We'll pull through Pressure suddenly DROPPING Ears constantly POPPING Category 4, ... Too late My father's sharp Breath Pieces of homes ripped off like flakes of skin Leaving the ground barren Only the bear bones possibly remaining Till they too, are forcefully wrenched apart, A majestic structure, now reduced simply, to ******* Mother nature hurling trees in her wrath All- ... Gone, in a matter ... of seconds The roar mirroring the one, in my head-telling me to get Get OUT NOW The world... a symphony of rage, ferocity, passion Violent reds, splotches of orange and fuchsia That, I unfortunately, seem trapped within As the clashes and roars Waves and cutting wind Swirl around me, I wonder, is this, what an insect feels like, stuck in a washing machine? Come to bed, my father calls I go, reluctantly, to the pillows and covers that should be warm and soft, but to my touch, appear frigid stiff My eyeballs practically popping until at some unknown time, they shut and I SINK Sink sink ... ... Sunlight streams in, A dream? Perhaps... Possibly... Maybe... Oh, if only... Unable to contain the hope, I leap up to my window-      And freeze Debris- not trees, not homes, not anything Just a mass of objects rendered useless and stamped with the label of -DEBRIS ... My father says, No more running water My neighbor's little blue shed, ... in shambles Yet, as I step outside After what seems, like a long arduous battle I was an unlucky Bystander caught in the middle of Yet, Despite the churning feeling in my stomach          The broken battered ******* the ruined property       The, miserableness Of the situation But then again... As my father, fervently prays praises Thanks the Lord ... My mind, is blown away As I stand, In awe as my eyes take in the majesty of those few, solitary, hundred year old houses ... still standing
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141
My birthday is today Seventeen years since another Sunday at 9 AM On top of a mountain called Ozark In a land that reminded me of Harry Potter Called Pettigrew like Peter It's forests elicited sprites and daddy long legs Made of me a changeling then spit me back out I learned what real ice tea was at the age of three It was my birthday Doing Pirouettes on my aunts Patio Again, under Arkansas stars With faery lights leading my way I ascended to the brush behind the house Got lost in the greens and browns of paradise's supply Returned with flesh painted the colour of love In an apartment overlooking crab apple trees Fresh Canadian foliage fostering a well concealed creek On a 90 degree angle over a dark chocolate cake My ninth birthday I drank pickle juice because Vinny said it was limonade I wore dresses that year And coveted baskets filled to brim with blossoms Baked the crab apples into a pie But preferred mama's banana cream I wore bandages on my arms and grass stains on my knees My tears washed away like Crayola markers And my biggest inner questions had to do With what was for breakfast And the lifespan of a temporary tattoos 14 came with a big black bow Done up gaudily in greys with a sad little smile Three years marked with pink splotches and lines A subject to hormones and arsenic tones My birthday A celebration of decay And mama still sang, and baked, and kissed my face And didn't wake when I placed cotton ***** in her ears Because I was a happy girl Today is my birthday And mama exclaims "No more babies! All four of you are so grown!" But the mirror still illustrates an odd little show With a baby face A girls chest And a womans hips An ordinary freak all stitched up Awkward and too much of everything But not enough all the same And inside I know Is a sea of paradoxical Samanthas Some stubborn and loud Some shy and reserved All with changes to make Books to read And places to go And only few that are quite wanting yet To be 17
0
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 8:54 AM UTC
Birthday's are time to sit and think about all the time you've wasted, and all the time you have yet to waste
My birthday is today Seventeen years since another Sunday at 9 AM On top of a mountain called Ozark In a land that reminded me of Harry Potter Called Pettigrew like Peter It's forests elicited sprites and daddy long legs Made of me a changeling then spit me back out I learned what real ice tea was at the age of three It was my birthday Doing Pirouettes on my aunts Patio Again, under Arkansas stars With faery lights leading my way I ascended to the brush behind the house Got lost in the greens and browns of paradise's supply Returned with flesh painted the colour of love In an apartment overlooking crab apple trees Fresh Canadian foliage fostering a well concealed creek On a 90 degree angle over a dark chocolate cake My ninth birthday I drank pickle juice because Vinny said it was limonade I wore dresses that year And coveted baskets filled to brim with blossoms Baked the crab apples into a pie But preferred mama's banana cream I wore bandages on my arms and grass stains on my knees My tears washed away like Crayola markers And my biggest inner questions had to do With what was for breakfast And the lifespan of a temporary tattoos 14 came with a big black bow Done up gaudily in greys with a sad little smile Three years marked with pink splotches and lines A subject to hormones and arsenic tones My birthday A celebration of decay And mama still sang, and baked, and kissed my face And didn't wake when I placed cotton ***** in her ears Because I was a happy girl Today is my birthday And mama exclaims "No more babies! All four of you are so grown!" But the mirror still illustrates an odd little show With a baby face A girls chest And a womans hips An ordinary freak all stitched up Awkward and too much of everything But not enough all the same And inside I know Is a sea of paradoxical Samanthas Some stubborn and loud Some shy and reserved All with changes to make Books to read And places to go And only few that are quite wanting yet To be 17
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I’m tired of influencers faking nervousness. my generation wants to care less these days. it’s a counter-current hack. we want to be less defined. we can search and reflect for ourselves. we’re sick of the emotion that’s all over everyone’s faces, the unsightly splotches of opinion. the entire election machine, the process of getting there, is smudged. It’s a curated mess, an advising spin, an incomprehensible hex: “Oh profit pondering, contradictory means to an end - bless weave, and conceal, bloodless dollar debt options, painful penny pincher paradoxes, and deadly debt bliss dilemmas..” “Is this a witch or an arbitrager?” Lisa asked, after rudely leaning over and reading up to this point. “I was shooting for a numinous type of beat,” I revealed. “We’re supposed to be working on our thesis definitions,” she said accusingly. “Are you not challenged, here, hour by hour?” I asked sarcastically. “I need ideas - well - I have too many ideas, I need some focus, I wanted to see what you had.” I deadpan looked at her, “Well, you broke the spell - I lost my train.” I complained dryly. “Don’t put me in a situation.” she said, waving my gripe off as insignificant. . . Songs for this: Easier Said Than Done by Thee Sacred Souls drive ME crazy! by Lil Yachty Melt by Nilüfer Yany
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Oct 14, 2024
Oct 14, 2024 at 3:06 PM UTC
the 15 second hex
I open a box of insecurities and add one more. The sound of my voice. The boys in their Vans have them fully-formed by now, chests heaving, with splotches of hair and the usual marks of transition. I don’t, I can’t have those things. I meet the requirements: I am a boy, I’ve tried it all. But in my bed at night, sometimes, the ocean hums its wavelength of monsters screaming, howling for a rise up, to see more light. a cloud formation gargles and spits out thunders. A shiver reaction. Muffled. Loud. The strike cracks the lips of our skies, and it confesses some secrets about its own insecurities; that there is no more wonder in silence, that there is constant stimulation and reduced pondering, that there is a need to get rid of the bad feeling. It says, when the thunder strikes, listen up and listen long and hard, because there is plenty of chaos from your own making, but I offer you unannounced, unpredictable, disjointed disruptions of comfort, and it is I who make you scared of uncertainty. It is I who make you jealous about my loud voice, my formed voice, my raspy, powerful voice, not the boys in their Vans.
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Oct 14, 2017
Oct 14, 2017 at 8:50 AM UTC
Thunderflinch
It crawls underneath your skin. Distracts you from your friends from your life. You can’t help but scratch it. Your friends try to stop you. They pull your hands away the skin on your wrist, arms, and legs, are already red from your nails they don’t want your skin like paper to tear. They don’t want to see your blood drip out like paint off a brush. You can’t help it that itch is so demanding it demands to be scratched no matter where it travels to. Your wrist becomes bright red with marks from your nails. Your legs have red splotches over them from digging your nails into your skin harder to itch through your jeans. Your arms have red splotches traveling up them and under the sleeve of your shirt. Your face is sensitive from your nails digging into it so often. You can’t win! The itch doesn’t go away no matter how long you scratch. It drives you insane. It won’t leave, I’m going insane. The itch is so persistent! I think I might need some calamine lotion… Maybe some Benadryl...
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Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 9:01 AM UTC
The Itch
I want to go back, to the time in my life where I had not a single care. To a time where existing, was much easier than it is now. Take me back to when I hadn't been touched, by the harsh reality of what was in my head. Where monsters didn't dwell within me, and I wasn't drowning in my own thoughts. I want to go back, to where people weren't toxic splotches in my life. Why can't we go back to skipping rope, and the only cuts we worried about were scraped knees. Smoke came from fires, instead of cigarettes. Sleepovers turned into *** candy into drugs. Our cups aren't filled with juice, but filled to the brim with our alcohol of choice. Keeping secrets was for jokes, not to make us seem fine. We were home when the street lights came on, and now were creatures of the night. The dark scared us, now it is our greatest friend. We were such innocent children, wanting to grow up so soon. We had a glimmer in our eyes, that's now replaced with a dead blank look. Why were we so eager to want to face this nasty world. I am no longer that young, ambitious, excited, lively little girl. I have become a numb, anxious minded, dead, damaged teenager. And this is what this world, and society has done to me. T.B.
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May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 9:50 PM UTC
Take Me Back
I really have a soft spot for winter weather It’s sweater time It’s scarf time It’s cuddle time…or a-little-more-than-cuddling time And it’s sweaters and scarves indoors time because people seem determined to hide the aftermath of mouths that have overstayed their welcome In the corners of shoulders and collarbones Tracing tracheas to chests and lingering just out of reach of lips And because I’ve been taught to hide these marks, I do But if I could, I would accessorize with necklaces of purple and blue Passionate hues that grow from teeth and tongues Can you paint with all the colors of the Winding veins that spindle into spirals around blood and bones and vitals Can you decorate the blank canvas of my neck With Rorschach tests that I’ll spend the next few days Analyzing and decoding Finding new shapes just for fun And then we’ll start again with stripes and spots and splotches Remembering that the fireworks we call cliché are interchangeable with capillaries Bursting under layers of skin To later be concealed under layers of cloth And people will blush when the consistency in their color is questioned And they’ll tug their collars higher But I’ll always have a love for the fact that these are bruises that come from beauty That these bodies end up damaged in the most gentle of ways And please don’t put a negative spin on damage Because I know of people that will spend all kinds of money for outfits that look like they’ve been through hell and back Because distress is a style and the aesthetic is stunning And even though people joke as they will I’m secretly proud to wear a badge of black and blue On the corner of my collar claiming You Were Here And I’ll pin one to your neckline Signed and dated I Was Here And the blood that we’ve drawn to the insides of each other’s skin Only mirrors the blush that appears on my face when I smile and think I really am lucky to have you And it’s sweater weather outside so these bruises will stay confined Under the snowy scarves we’re told to keep But I’ll admire this art as it fades through the week Tracing over physical proof of nights that fall into the past And scrutinizing the speed at which they do Adoring the marks that no one else seems to Because aftermaths confirm realities And I could never disdain the colors that tell the world who we are to each other And how we stay warm in the winter
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Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 10:13 PM UTC
An Ode to Hickeys
I really have a soft spot for winter weather It’s sweater time It’s scarf time It’s cuddle time…or a-little-more-than-cuddling time And it’s sweaters and scarves indoors time because people seem determined to hide the aftermath of mouths that have overstayed their welcome In the corners of shoulders and collarbones Tracing tracheas to chests and lingering just out of reach of lips And because I’ve been taught to hide these marks, I do But if I could, I would accessorize with necklaces of purple and blue Passionate hues that grow from teeth and tongues Can you paint with all the colors of the Winding veins that spindle into spirals around blood and bones and vitals Can you decorate the blank canvas of my neck With Rorschach tests that I’ll spend the next few days Analyzing and decoding Finding new shapes just for fun And then we’ll start again with stripes and spots and splotches Remembering that the fireworks we call cliché are interchangeable with capillaries Bursting under layers of skin To later be concealed under layers of cloth And people will blush when the consistency in their color is questioned And they’ll tug their collars higher But I’ll always have a love for the fact that these are bruises that come from beauty That these bodies end up damaged in the most gentle of ways And please don’t put a negative spin on damage Because I know of people that will spend all kinds of money for outfits that look like they’ve been through hell and back Because distress is a style and the aesthetic is stunning And even though people joke as they will I’m secretly proud to wear a badge of black and blue On the corner of my collar claiming You Were Here And I’ll pin one to your neckline Signed and dated I Was Here And the blood that we’ve drawn to the insides of each other’s skin Only mirrors the blush that appears on my face when I smile and think I really am lucky to have you And it’s sweater weather outside so these bruises will stay confined Under the snowy scarves we’re told to keep But I’ll admire this art as it fades through the week Tracing over physical proof of nights that fall into the past And scrutinizing the speed at which they do Adoring the marks that no one else seems to Because aftermaths confirm realities And I could never disdain the colors that tell the world who we are to each other And how we stay warm in the winter
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