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Alan Maguire May 2018
Last week my cat parsnips died. he got run over by a garbage truck. people say that cats have nine lives but parsnips musta had only had one.maybe if he was all black he woulda survived. I cried and I cried but mom and dad told me to shut my trap .parsnips is gone but one day I will see him again. I wish that I got run over by the garbage truck then I wouldn’t be alone
Alan Maguire May 2018
My cat parsnips has one eye I don’t know why
Mommy says cos he probly  got into a fight with a dog
Daddies friends hate parsnips one time they came to our house with their dog.His name is gobells. gobells wanted to eat parsnips but parsnips is clever and ran up a tree and didn’t come down for a week . one time parsnips had no food so I gave him some left over pizza .I like left over pizza. parsnips loves left over pizza. me and him are best friends
Alan Maguire May 2018
Fish Child make a wish Child upon a falling pig. He's got short fluffy fur and comes from the starry south and like a wild Bolivian boar has a truffle sniffing snout.

He's got six golden trotters
and possesses a squiggly tail he
relishes red meat and guzzles down all American ale.

He answers to the name Burrito's and  grumple's in his sleep
and he often dreams of visiting the Earths deepest deep.
So, Fish Child make a wish Child upon a falling pig.
Alan Maguire Sep 2017
Red balloon: Amanda Mustang

Amanda Mustang : yes red balloon

Rb: are you left handed ?

Am: I don’t think so red balloon

Rb: why not ?

Am: why not why red balloon ?

Rb: well, how come your not sure ?

Am: well I only use my right hand mostly

Rb: but you do use your left one too

Am: yes, but not as much

Rb: then I declare that you  
Amanda Mustang is both left and right handed

Am: ambidextrous red balloon

Rb: ambiwhich ? Amanda Mustang

Am: ambidextrous means using both your left and right hands

Rb: then you are ambidextrous Amanda Mustang

Am: not really red balloon, both hands must be as good as each other

Rb then I will ask each hand Amanda Mustang

Am: don’t be silly red balloon.
for hands and feet and ears cannot speak, they simply are not alive

Rb: but you are alive Amanda Mustang, you began talking the day I imagined you.The other balloons say that you are not real, but I know you exist. Maybe from your point of view I’m made up and the other Amanda Mustangs would say “stop talking to that balloon Amanda Mustang, for balloons and teddy’s and cats cannot speak and balloons and teddy’s and cats are not real”

AM: I’m sorry red balloon

Rb: why so Amanda Mustang ?

Am: well for doubting your existence and I apologize to you too both left and right hands

L and R H: That’s okay Amanda Mustang, we forgive you
Alan Maguire Nov 2016
He's a an artiste and one wise *******
he cares about somethings but doesn't care about the rest

can you blame him though, can you honestly ******* blame him ?
the world was his oyster but it gave him salmonella, it gave him an upset soul too, the **** thing almost corrupted him

he doesn't go out anymore now ,  he doesn't have to, he doesn't need to
he gets his groceries delivered from the nearest supermarket
he cuts his own hair and does his own dentistry
but he's a better dentist than barber

he bribes the roaches with Japanese whiskey and animal crackers
for fallout survival skills and he prays to the mouse God for forgiveness
Alan Maguire Jul 2016
Lock up war in a wooden box and punch no holes in it's lid, throw in tyranny, trauma, fear, money, misery and the politicians but don't forget the soldiers. But what about the women and children who stand idly by should we put them in too ? How about the East ?, how about the West ?, how about the whole god ****** world ?. So we'll put the whole wide world into a wooden box and we'll punch no holes in it's lid
my friend commissioned  a poem using the  Irish words  for war and lock which is cogadh (war) and Glas (lock) and this is the result . I don't speak the language though
Alan Maguire Mar 2013
Twas the last night of the earth
When I begged upon a star
not wished, hoped or imagined
but I begged like a pauper
crawling on my hands and knees,
whimpering like a dog

I begged for time itself to rewind
I begged for mercy
I begged for peace
and I begged for God or whomever
to give this race one more chance
one last shot to redeem itself

Twas the last night of the earth
when I beheld the blinding light
and as I held my darling tight
I kissed her
then I wished her
"Happy New Years Baby "
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